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RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 7:40:48 AM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Finding a "perfect" mate while only seeking a  "hook up". Can we use this example as a response to the many queries that appear on these boards in answer to the question; "what's the problem with getting involved with a married partner?"

How sad - usually what you found is seen as a positive result and is the expressed goal for many who have posted profiles. You have made the "best case" the "worst case" scenario. The one seeking a "hook-up" got hooked. In the natural progression of things you are now flopping around on the boat deck. In my opinion - you deserve it. Your problem was self generated. You've already "lost and hurt" your wife. She just doesn't know it yet. Assuming your "slave" knew about your marital status, she too now must deal with the reality that was ignored while she was getting "hooked". Unless of course your lack of honesty and integrity with your wife extended to her and she isn't aware of your marital status.

(in reply to ned5435)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 7:51:36 AM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Advice from one of my teachers: Ask yourself three questions. 1) Who are you? 2) What do you want? 3) What are you willing to pay to get it. Answering #2 and #3 will often, but not necessarily, bring you to the answer to #1. When you have the answer to #1, the answers to #2 and #3 become irrelevent.

How is this related to your situation? If feel (and it seems that most others here agree) that you are displaying a lack of integrity by getting involved without your wife's permission and/or knowledge. Do you feel this way? If so, why are you doing it? What are you wanting out of the situation? Are you willing to do what it takes to get what you want, in a way that ensures you feel good about your positive actions?

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to ned5435)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 10:32:45 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

That once again he is an idiot for developing an emotional connection with someone...as if somehow we can control who we develop these connections with.


Mad, I just have to call you on the carpet on this statement. This is one of the most popular myths in modern society. It is, quite simply, completely false. Almost everyone buys into it so eagerly because it allows them to do what they know they should not do and avoid the guilt. "It was beyond my control. I couldn't help myself". Two thousand years ago, it was the gods who did it to people. It was Aphrodite's fault. Well the gods are out of favor these days, so we needed to create some unknown, unseen, "force" within us that is somehow beyond our control.

Of course we have control of who we develop emotional connections with. They are our emotions, if we don't control them, it is because we choose to believe we can't. A tremendous amount of hurt and pain would be avoided if people just woke up and accepted responsibility for their emotions. I don't expect to see it any time soon.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 10:45:09 AM   
Sexyharleygirl


Posts: 18
Joined: 11/28/2006
Status: offline 		Try leaving a copy of BDSM 101 or some other reading material out on your coffee table at home and see what your wife's reaction is. You may have the opportunity to "play" at home and you do not even know it.

Also, You are married, if you both knew this, why are you conflicted. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side.

Eventually, if you continue to play in another sand box, you have been on here for over a year, and if you are even talking to subs/slaves, your wife will find out someday. Remember this and be prepared for the consequences.

(in reply to ned5435)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 10:49:40 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		Not knowing all the details, I'll just avoid the judgemental part and speak to your question. "Next step?" The first thing you need to do is take responsibility for your actions. You have gotten yourself into this no win scenario. Pretending that you are screwed either way is just an excuse to continue to avoid dealing with it.

You have to step up and be responsible for fixing it. Who are you going to fix it for? For yourself? For the wife? For the slave? The simple fact is you can't have it all. You have to make a choice. None of us can tell you what choice that should be. If you are serious about what the next step is, you are going to have to make that choice, and live with the consequences.

Namaste, Sir Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to ned5435)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 10:54:08 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RealDom69

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Does your wife know?  tell her you have a slave... simple.... if you're frightened of your wife then you're not a Dom and should let the slave go..
just my opinion..

:))
Johnny Reble

What he said


_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to RealDom69)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 10:57:58 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

Ok, for a moment, instead of presuming that the man is cheating on his wife, let's approach this from a different point of view.

You're married.
She's not.

You wanted a part time submissive/slave
She wanted full time.

Presumably both of you were aware of each other's limitations and desires.

Both of you messed up.

You didn't listen to her when she said she wanted full time. You hoped you could have her on strictly your terms.

She didn't listen to you when you said you couldn't do full time. She hoped she could have you on her terms.

You, hearing that she wanted someone full time and ignoring it, gave her the impression that full time MIGHT be a possibility further on down the road. Her impressions were wrong.

She, hearing that you couldn't do full time and ignoring that to still get involved with you gave you the impression that full time was just not as necessary to her as she was making it out to be. Your impressions were wrong.

The only thing that's the constant here is that
1) you're married
2) you don't want full time
3) she does want full time.

Now would probably be a good time to realize what you should have realized early on - that this submissive is a lovely lady and will probably do someone very proud. Unfortunately, due to your limitations, it can't be you.

You COULD always whine and make all three of your lives a living hell by trying to hold on to her when ultimately she deserves what you have - someone in her life on a full time basis - it's what she's always said she wanted. OR you could man up and let her go so that she can find the right person for her.

The question I suppose is just how MUCH do you care for her? Do you only care for her enough to keep her waiting and hoping in vain? Or do you care for her enough to take the hit, knowing that ultimately, she will find happiness and have that her happiness will be good enough for you?

That would be your decision. I'm hoping you make a better one than you did the first time around.

Whether your wife knows is immaterial at this point. What's important is what you're going to do with the situation you have right here, right now.

Beyond that, your relationship with your wife is your own concern.
juliet

OMG... this is absolutely brilliant.....wow.....thats all i can say....


_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 11:12:08 AM   
Domspaintoy


Posts: 158
Joined: 2/25/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra


The only thing that's the constant here is that
1) you're married
2) you don't want full time
3) she does want full time.

Now would probably be a good time to realize what you should have realized early on - that this submissive is a lovely lady and will probably do someone very proud. Unfortunately, due to your limitations, it can't be you.

You COULD always whine and make all three of your lives a living hell by trying to hold on to her when ultimately she deserves what you have - someone in her life on a full time basis - it's what she's always said she wanted. OR you could man up and let her go so that she can find the right person for her.

The question I suppose is just how MUCH do you care for her? Do you only care for her enough to keep her waiting and hoping in vain? Or do you care for her enough to take the hit, knowing that ultimately, she will find happiness and have that her happiness will be good enough for you?

That would be your decision. I'm hoping you make a better one than you did the first time around.

Whether your wife knows is immaterial at this point. What's important is what you're going to do with the situation you have right here, right now.

Beyond that, your relationship with your wife is your own concern.
juliet


Great advice.

He could always leave His wife, i suppose it comes down to which does He need the most? because lets face it if it isnt this sub it will be another and this will raise its head again.

IMO anyway.

dpt.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 12:28:36 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Is the slave as hooked on you as you are on her? She might not be interested and there's not enough information to really offer any sort of insight on what your next step should or could be.

Good luck,

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ned5435)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 1:52:18 PM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		As I see it the options are:
- leave the wife
- leave the slave
- leave both
- get the wife's acceptance and make the slave understand that you make the rules and it's gonna stay part time.
- get the wife's permission and both of you dom the slave together (sweeeeeet.)

Odds are the reason you are so enamoured is because she's your secret side dish and nothing is so tempting as the thing you aren't supposed to have.  That's what gets a lot of fetishists off - the idea that what they're doing is somehow wrong or naughty.  Even though she's amazingly wow right now, I bet there's a dozen things she does that irritate you but you let go because you don't have to live with her.  Ask yourself if you would still be crazy about this girl if your wife was cool with it or if you were with her all day long. Every day.  From now on.

Remember that no matter how great the girl (or boy) is somebody somewhere is tired of putting up with their shit.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 2:08:43 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HypnoticDan

As I see it the options are:
- leave the wife
- leave the slave
- leave both
- get the wife's acceptance and make the slave understand that you make the rules and it's gonna stay part time.
- get the wife's permission and both of you dom the slave together (sweeeeeet.)

Odds are the reason you are so enamoured is because she's your secret side dish and nothing is so tempting as the thing you aren't supposed to have.  That's what gets a lot of fetishists off - the idea that what they're doing is somehow wrong or naughty.  Even though she's amazingly wow right now, I bet there's a dozen things she does that irritate you but you let go because you don't have to live with her.  Ask yourself if you would still be crazy about this girl if your wife was cool with it or if you were with her all day long. Every day.  From now on.

Remember that no matter how great the girl (or boy) is somebody somewhere is tired of putting up with their shit.


No where in his post does he say that his wife doesn't know. She may not. You can infer that she doesn't. However, it may also be that she is very aware and as the submissive becomes more enamored and makes more demands, that the wife will understandably be hurt if he continues to try to have both.

juliet

(in reply to HypnoticDan)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 2:12:21 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

As I see it the options are:
- leave the wife
- leave the slave
- leave both
- get the wife's acceptance and make the slave understand that you make the rules and it's gonna stay part time.
- get the wife's permission and both of you dom the slave together (sweeeeeet.)


One more option--talk to your wife, explain that you've discovered you need to be dominant to be happy and find out how she feels about it.  It worked for us and i was close to your age at the time.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to HypnoticDan)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 2:45:02 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello ned5435. Are you looking for validation or approval?

Did you make any marriage vows that should still apply today? Is this "consensual" with your wife? Can she get herself a sexslave and that would be ok with you?

Actually, you are only "damned" if you "do". You can't be damned if you "dont" in "that"context. From what you say, you already "did", by "hooking up" with a slave "looking for 24/7 master".

I will not "validate" you into hooking up with a 24/7 slave when you only want "part time",  or even "time share" with another. I do not "approve" of what you are doing to your wife, as I am sure you would not be posting if she "approved" of what you are doing, and/or planning to do.

All this is based on what you posted, and what little "details" we have to go on. I think you use people when they are not consenting to the "whole story", and you? RL.

(in reply to ned5435)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 3:23:32 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		First define 24/7.
I already know my view is considered a tainted one, but what is in your heart to ME is 24/7 even if it is not an arrangment where you two share air day in and day out. 


_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 4:09:14 PM   
MadRabbit


Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Well...once again...in the close minded ignorance that can often be Collarme.com...the general public has somehow managed to conclude from these 4-5 sentences of information that...

The man is cheating on his wife.

That somwhow he is in the idiot for entering the relationship and not the slave DESPITE the fact that it says there was an understanding that he was married and temporary.

That clearly its not possible its the slave fault for entering a relationship that wasnt
ultimately what she wanted.

That once again he is an idiot for developing an emotional connection with someone...as if somehow we can control who we develop these connections with.

Perhaps maybe his wife is quite aware of the relationship, but the fear of loss/hurt is coming from realization that he fell in love with the woman?

Perhaps both the slave and the Master entered into a relationship in a mature way, even though if it didnt meet their full expectations, and things just developed differently then they wanted?

The real fools here are all the people making asasine assumptions from this limited information.

I wonder how many posters here have fallen for someone who wasnt exactly the best match for them.

To steal Stephann's Nietzsche quote, "There is madness in love, but some reason in madness."


Well, I kinda hoped I made it clear that the initial decision was both of their faults. However, he was asking what HE should do and that's what I answered to.

I don't know... maybe it read wrong.

Ultimately, SOMEONE is going to have to make a decision - either she can decide to stay under the circumstances they have or leave. Either he can decide to keep her and deal with the attending consequences or let her go. Either way, the decision is difficult.

Oh, and I don't think he's a cheating rat. Nor do I think she's a fool. I just think they have a difficult situation they need to figure out.

And waiting/hoping for a dominant to come along that will want her (not that she's unwantable, just that finding the "right" person is difficult at best) AND be able to accept the fact that he'd have to share is not exactly something that is going to happen over night - if indeed at all.


juliet


Just for clarification...I thought your post was awesome. I was talking about all the posts before that.

_____________________________

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Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 5:51:03 PM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.



Perhaps maybe his wife is quite aware of the relationship, but the fear of loss/hurt is coming from realization that he fell in love with the woman?

The real fools here are all the people making asasine assumptions from this limited information.

To steal Stephann's Nietzsche quote, "There is madness in love, but some reason in madness."


Hello MadRabbit. I am one of the "fools" making "asasine"(sic) assumptions from the poster's limited information. If by asinine you mean "foolish", I do not find my reply to be "foolish". You seem to want everyone here to be "objective" in a subjective forum. "Opinion" is "subjective" no matter how intelectually you want it, it will come out as subjective.

The way the poster wrote is "subject" to interpretation. He is "responsable" for what is posted, and the lack of information with it. I base my reply, from what I can "assume" (infer) from what is written. Not from "imagining" pseudo objective "realities" that must be "positive" (politically correct?), while having no more foundation in the assumption department than the more "negative" infered "realities". Imagining "positive" is still "imagining".

I would rather risk an assumption (inferences) based on what "I" understand from what is written (premices) and the usual culturally common sense meaning (looks like, walks like, "posts" like a duck) of phrases like "dont wish lose/hurt wife". Only a love for the "exceptional" would find this to be of an infered consensual context. Yes it could be consensual, but the way it is written "usually" means it is "not". Ask anybody.

The poster has the option to correct all the "wrong" inferences. All he has to do is to complete what is missing (if it is missing), in order for us to derive proper "objective" premices in order to formulate the appropriate "subjective" responses. Unless he is not responsable for the imprecision of "his" information. How can that make us responsable for the alleged possibility of having "negative" imprecision in our responses? RL.

-"Digressions, objections, delight in mockery, carefree mistrust are signs of health; everything unconditional belongs in pathology."

«Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil.»


(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 6:31:27 PM   
WhiplashSmile


Posts: 1472
Joined: 6/8/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435
I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.

You just made my world seem somewhat sane compared to yours.  Unless you can go Poly there's no way in hell this is going to work.  You have to let one or the other go.  You might end up finding yourself without a wife or this slave in the end by sitting on the fence.  You said you are hooked on this slave?  What head are you thinking from here?  Are you falling in love with this slave?  Does your wife know you have a slave on the side?   


(in reply to ned5435)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 7:14:27 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: astarri

What good is cake if you can't eat it? I never understood this phrase.




The point is that you can either have your cake, or you can eat it. But once you've eaten it, the cake is gone and therefore you no longer have it. There is no use fretting about no longer having cake because you made the choice to eat it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to astarri)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Next step? - 7/3/2007 7:22:44 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

The man is cheating on his wife.



The phrase "Don't want to hurt her" implies that he probably was. If his wife was aware of his involvement with the other woman and didn't care she probably wouldn't mind him continuing to be involved with her.

quote:



That somwhow he is in the idiot for entering the relationship and not the slave DESPITE the fact that it says there was an understanding that he was married and temporary.


Actually, I agree. They are both stupid but she didn't come and ask for advice on what to do.
quote:



That clearly its not possible its the slave fault for entering a relationship that wasnt
ultimately what she wanted.


Again, she didn't come and ask so why would we mention it? If she asks, I'm sure plenty of us would be happy to tell her "What the hell were you thinking?"

quote:


That once again he is an idiot for developing an emotional connection with someone...as if somehow we can control who we develop these connections with.

That's not the part of this that is idiotic.
quote:


Perhaps maybe his wife is quite aware of the relationship, but the fear of loss/hurt is coming from realization that he fell in love with the woman?

Perhaps. In that case they were all foolish for not preparing or considering that this might happen. However, if it were the case I would suspect he would give more information on how she is handling the situation as that tends to be the case when people make posts about their mutiple partners.
quote:


Perhaps both the slave and the Master entered into a relationship in a mature way, even though if it didnt meet their full expectations, and things just developed differently then they wanted?

Quite possibly. For all we know, she doesn't have a problem with the situation and continues to see him as an easy fuck/scene partner.
quote:


The real fools here are all the people making asasine assumptions from this limited information.

Really? That's funny, see this guy came and made post with a limited amount of information. If he gets bad advice because of he didn't provide good information, I'd consider him the fool.
quote:


I wonder how many posters here have fallen for someone who wasnt exactly the best match for them.

Sure, it happens all the time. Doesn't mean anyone is going to coddle them though.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MadRabbit)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Next step? - 7/4/2007 4:21:49 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: ned5435

I hooked up with a slave looking for 24/7 master, with understanding that I was married and temporary. Now I am hooked on her. Do not want to lose her, dont wish to lose/hurt wife. Wouldnt mind if she found master that would share and lived close. Damned if I do , damned if I dont.


Well...once again...in the close minded ignorance that can often be Collarme.com...the general public has somehow managed to conclude from these 4-5 sentences of information that...

The man is cheating on his wife.

That somwhow he is in the idiot for entering the relationship and not the slave DESPITE the fact that it says there was an understanding that he was married and temporary.

That clearly its not possible its the slave fault for entering a relationship that wasnt
ultimately what she wanted.

That once again he is an idiot for developing an emotional connection with someone...as if somehow we can control who we develop these connections with.

Perhaps maybe his wife is quite aware of the relationship, but the fear of loss/hurt is coming from realization that he fell in love with the woman?

Perhaps both the slave and the Master entered into a relationship in a mature way, even though if it didnt meet their full expectations, and things just developed differently then they wanted?

The real fools here are all the people making asasine assumptions from this limited information.

I wonder how many posters here have fallen for someone who wasnt exactly the best match for them.

To steal Stephann's Nietzsche quote, "There is madness in love, but some reason in madness."


Well, I kinda hoped I made it clear that the initial decision was both of their faults. However, he was asking what HE should do and that's what I answered to.

I don't know... maybe it read wrong.

Ultimately, SOMEONE is going to have to make a decision - either she can decide to stay under the circumstances they have or leave. Either he can decide to keep her and deal with the attending consequences or let her go. Either way, the decision is difficult.

Oh, and I don't think he's a cheating rat. Nor do I think she's a fool. I just think they have a difficult situation they need to figure out.

And waiting/hoping for a dominant to come along that will want her (not that she's unwantable, just that finding the "right" person is difficult at best) AND be able to accept the fact that he'd have to share is not exactly something that is going to happen over night - if indeed at all.


Just for clarification...I thought your post was awesome. I was talking about all the posts before that.

Crikey MadRabbit, seems like you're in full "meltdown mode" of late....
 
Anyhoo, as one of those "before" posters you refer to, seems you have an issue with whether or not the OP actually cheated on his wife, given that that was the gist of my particular post?
 
So what do you need NOT to conclude the obvious - a "smoking gun", witnesses, polaroids, a one-armed man fleeing the scene...?  Is it only cheating if he actually stuck his dick in this slave - of which I grant there is no hard information in the OP?  Perhaps the OP's guilt and fear of losing or hurting his wife, which he *DID* express, is because he had coffee with this slave, for eg - izzat it?  Musta been great coffee, given that the OP is now "hooked", ay?  And that he's "damned" if he does or doesn't go back for more....
 
Thing is, this is not a court of law where commonsense, life experience and street nous is stifled by a lack of hard evidence and "reasonable doubt" etc.  As far as I'm concerned, on a public board something that looks, walks and quacks like a duck is a *duck*.  To that end, the OP's guilt is primarily because he cheated on his wife - quack, quack, slam dunk, quack!
 
Focus.

(in reply to MadRabbit)
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