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TigerNINTails -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 4:00:05 PM)
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ORIGINAL: Faramir
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ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer
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ORIGINAL: FaramirTrue masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.
[sm=biggrin.gif] [sm=applause.gif]
Love your sig line!
I've been to GenCon three times and Winter Fantasy twice, so I know the type--oh wait, I am the type.
Holy crap, while typing this out I couldn't control my limbs--I smashed my chair, broke my own femur and smashed my hand through the keyb~...
ROFL!![:D] Love it...
As for that, absolutely... If I couldn't pick up an egg without smashing it, hammer a nail without squashing my thumb everytime, lift a heavy box without dropping it on my small toe, or a light one without flinging it in the air, then maybe I couldn't control my limbs well enough to throw a punch or kick that is either light, or heavy.
I agree totally that the imagery associated with "layin' hands on a woman" tends to conjure those involving abusive wife-beater wearin red-neck trailer trash... Points to MadRabbit on that one. Gave me a hearty laugh too, it echoed my own thoughts.
In fact, it's partial to my hesitance to use more than grappling or slapping in my rough play, though I can see applications for more martial oriented combativeness in BDSM.
The fact that FifthAngel continues to come up regarding similar conversations on here is just proof that he's doing some good to opening the doors between martial arts and BDSM and educating for the safety of the practice.
It can be made safe simply by understanding who you are, understanding who your partner is, and understanding your own and your partners limits, the nature of the movements, the impacts and one anothers control level and conditioning...
Understanding a bit about anatomy, movement and energy of the body is useful too. This isn't something I'd recommend just be sprung on someone in any sense, any more than just suddenly tying them up and beating them with any sort of BDSM "toy" is recommended.
In fact, if you aren't training for it, staying physically in shape and conditioning for heavier impact then I wouldn't suggest it to anyone.
The kidney's, Aswad are something to be avoided at all costs, and in the course of a sparring sort of scene, where punches and kicks are thrown, there's a likelihood of the partner getting turned around somehow, and so striking in that (what is it, about 5" horizontal?) just above the tail bone and all the way across the backside is a big no-no.
But all in all, combat play isn't something that's not okay, over all, nor is it something that can't be engaged in safely.
I'm personally happy with open hand strikes, but the oddity in that is that I can do just as much damage (kinetically, through energizing moisture in the body) with a slap, as most people can do with a punch.
In addition to that, when I'm of a mind to throw a punch, I'm with Aswad... That's combat drawer, not BDSM... I attempt to compartmentalize that. If I'm punching and kicking, it's by all means controlled, but I'm usually doing it to drop the person I'm striking, and well enough they don't come after me, or mine, again.
The reason that's combat, is I've reached a point where I couldn't un-learn the method that I've learned to punch, and invariably it doesn't cross a broad area... I strike with one knuckle alone ( the knuckle of what people are familiar with as the middle finger, to facilitate a higher impact via smaller strike area).
My knuckles have been conditioned to that degree as well, with my central knuckle protruding well beyond any of my others of either hand. The more you hit with something, the harder and larger it gets, through conditioning. Bone is funny that way.
For those people that enjoy being gut punched, or enjoy gut punching, or any punching and kicking, that's great, but I generally keep that to another area. I love a good grappling session though, and will bring open handed slaps and back hands into it, and use my legs for other purposes than kicking.
The human body has many ways it can be used for control of another besides just wrapping your arms around someone or holding down their wrists in your grip. Or punching and kicking. Obviously. Way too many ways to go into here...
But to believe that a man or woman can't control their hands and feet, arms and legs while throwing strikes is nowhere near accurate.
But the antithema of punching someone because it's abusive is just a social stigma, and something for the individual participants to get over. If they have an open mind.
I'm personally not opposed to it, watching it, just don't use it myself. But I also agree that it's something that could come into play in a kidnap/rape style scenario, mainly because it's that whole edge-play situation, carrying with it a slightly aggressively violent undertone, just like using knifes or guns in your scenes.
Inherently dangerous to no end, if you're not studied and practiced. Which reminds me of a saying...
There is no swordsman more dangerous, than the one who doesn't know how to use it.
The same can be applied, as has been expressed several times here, to every single toy that we use in BDSM, including our hands and feet.
And Archer, I enjoyed your posts, even if the OP seemed to miss them in her so-called "righteous indignation".
So ultimately, just as any physical activity or sport, especially contact sports, it takes practice, guidance, conditioning, control and the ability to remain all too acutely aware of the danger zones of the anatomy.
It can be made as safe as sparring is safe between two trusting partners who understand the dynamics of control and movement factors. Accidents happen, so you just take precautions. Just like anything else.
I'd personally suggest, that if you really think that punching and kicking can't occur safely in an environment that isn't "abusive"... Go join a Dojo... Become enlightened.[:D]
As an after thought... No, there isn't, done properly, a difference between Dojo sparring punching and kicking and that involved in BDSM play, other than maybe the underlyi ng sexual or intimate energies of closer partners, if those exist.
Just to further explain that point... When control of the puncher is involved, whereas the one throwing knows, without a shadow of a doubt, how much force he's releasing, into what area of the body, and how that energy will effect his partner, and his partner, fully aware that the force is being released, understands how to accept, absorb, and/or redirect that force, there isn't any difference between Sparring and empty-handed B&D or S&M... None... Not in my book anyway... And it becomes very safe, minus the chaotic unaccountables that are present even walking your happy ass down the street.
Okay, this post is long enough... Too long in fact... I'm out of here. Peace.
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