RE: Punching your sub/slave? (Full Version)

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secretsubnova -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/4/2007 11:20:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

It's really, really simple.  The answer to "when does punching your sub/slave in the stomach or anywhere become an acceptable BDSM past time?" is "Whenever those two consesnting adults choose to." 


I think this is the PERFECT answer to that question.  I am a willing participant in this kind of play. To me it can be very hot.  I have been punched and kicked hard in the stomach and well as other areas during play.  I understand that while this works for me, it may be baffling for others and I can't offer any miracle explanation. 




briska -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/4/2007 11:27:18 PM)

I rather enjoy it when my Sir punches me.  Generally speaking, however, I don't reccomend it to people who don't know what they're doing.  It started as a punishment, but also as light, "pulled" punches (I believe that's what it's called), and also three-inch punches to the square of my chest (think Kill Bill2).  They impact, but they don't bruise nor are hard enough to break anything. 

When my Sir and I go out to the club, I am usually restrained from the ceiling, as a punching bag, and my Sir punches me thusly; he waits til I am ready (or positioned enough to take the hit), and he'll punch me in the chest, or, if He feels like it, in the outer thigh.  In day to day life, He'll punch me in the arm, albeit lighter, or in the chest to get me going.

However, I've never taken a punch to the gut, nor gotten the crap out of me.  My Dom, though he enjoys punching, never hits me out of anger.  (Unless we count it when I play back, and he gets annoyed at me being bratty, which is really just a component of our Play and  not really anger).  I'm the first girl He's punched to this extent (where I love it, and actually beg for it sometimes), and of course He knows it's possibly dangerous - most of what we do is.  Hell, I don't even bruise from the punches I get.

It's often about control; a Dom can only control a sub as much as he can control himself, and that's where the Punching thing comes in.

[Of course, Adversarial play, now, that's all bets off there]




MagiksSlave -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/4/2007 11:36:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave


I guess Im a bit clouded with the fact that punching and kicking seem like such angry acts and I dont generaly couple controll with acts of anger. My mind has trouble seeing past these things as more then angry acts, that is something I have to work on


I'd just like to compliment you on seeing this limitation, and accurately identifying its cause.

If we all could do that, this place would be as quiet as heaven on a saturday night...



Thank you Aswad!

Magik's slave




bjs000 -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 12:56:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domspaintoy

Hello to all Master's/Sirs and Doms,

ive just been asked if my Master beats me hard? to which i replied it depends on what you class as hard but if you mean caning, flogging and whipping leaving stripes, bruises and marks that last well over a week then yes and i thank Him for them everytime accordingly.

This persons repsonse was, 'what about punching hard in the stomach?' Now forgive me if im wrong and im well aware that some people partake in extreme sessions of beating their sub/slave, i know Master and i enjoy edge-play so can appear to others as being quite extreme, and this has more than likely been asked before, but when does punching your sub/slave in the stomach or anywhere become an acceptable BDSM past time?

Surely never? i know full well each to their own and one mans kink and all that, im not asking that but surely punching is simply abuse and if not how is pleasure gained from punching your sub/slave? and lets face it we are generally talking about male Doms and female subs/slaves.

Am i being naive? i dont think so but whats the Master's/Sir's/Doms take on this one?

Thanks in advance.




Sinergy -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 1:03:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Do the exercise... prove to yourself in very direct way why the hand itself is more accurate and controlled than it is with something in it.



One guideline from most martial arts (Arnis is an exception) is that weapons are not taught until the person is proficient with their hands, largely because the weapon is perceived as an extension of one's arm.

Being unable to control one's own body, odds are fairly good that the person will be unable to control a weapon.

Sinergy




chellekitty -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 2:26:55 AM)

so...now that the commotion has died down, i thought i'd throw another experience in...from a female sub pov...i love body punching...played around with it quite a bit...one of the hotest, to date experiences, was a section of a scene, where he alternated punches to my pectorals and slapping my face...i came on his knee...another part of the scene he kicked my pussy...and i came on his shoe...but the thing i hurt the worst from, for like 2 weeks, was god damned chopsticks....but it was still fun to poke the bruises...

that same weekend i was a whip class demo bottom and recieved a cutting from a friend...as you can guess i was one happy lil masochist...but...you know what i got the most lasting damage from? the cutting and the whip class....but i knew that was what i was agreeing to...in all 3 cases...well, except for the chopsticks...but i loved every minute of it...

if anyone has read most of my posts, they would see that i have a traumatic past...long history of abuse...i once got mad at my ex for throwing a pair of socks at me...cause he did it in anger...and if i thought i was being hurt in anger, that would be the last time he or she laid a hand on me...they do it cause i get off on it and hopefully they enjoy it...but thats just how i feel about it...if its a hard limit for you for whatever reason, its a hard limit...but don't degrade me for choosing to do it....

chelle
House Infernus




MissOchistic -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 2:55:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Faramir

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissOchistic


The risks for punching the stomach and torso are higher than punching the shoulders and arms. This is assuming we're talking about your average joe who isn't trained in how to pull punches and what areas can result in internal injuries. There aren't vital organs resting under your  biceps. A pull punch to the arm is less likely to break your bones then a misplaced one is to break your ribs. A hard jab to the thigh is less likely to trigger an underlying heart condition than a punch to the chest.
Sure, you or I might be able to beat the crap out of a sub without any higher risk than other play, but most people could not, and this fellow was right in saying that the risks are too high for him to safely just haul off and punch someone in the stomache for shits and giggles.



No, he was being idotic talking about FATAL injuries in all-caps from getting punched in the gut.  I read dumb, uninformed stuff here all the time, but that stood out. 

Yea, the high schools of America are littered with the dead bodies of kids who get hit in the gut playing football or basketball or rough housing.  Kick boxers, MMA fighters and boxers die left and right from getting hit in the gut.  It's FATAL I tell you! 

People die in fighting from trauma to the brain, most often acute subdural hematoma to the brain or cerebral edema, and much less often Second Impact Syndrome. 

Now, if we really want to split hairs, punching someone in their skeleto-muscular system is more risky than punching them in the gut.  Those blows are done much harder in general, and carry a real risk of damage to joints, tendons and ligaments, as well as the possibility of ruptures to the muscle belly itself.  Not that I really think it's all that dangerous, but if you want to get technical about it, there you go.


FATAL injury, my ass.


I didn't mean to imply that it was at all likely. It's not. But it is possible. Kids on the playground usually do not suffer from a blow with the full strength of a grown and maybe quite muscular man to the stomach.
Again, not saying it's likely, but it is possible, and real idiocy would be knowing that, being unsure of whether you would inflict that sort of damage or not, and proceeding anyways.






Domspaintoy -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 3:25:44 AM)

Flaming hell, this is a hot topic, i go to bed and seems everyone jumps down my throat. i dont know who or what to respond to 1st.

i am not nor have ever been closed minded, narrow-minded, judgemental or anything else i would certainly not be wasting my time in the feild im going into if i was, i will however respond with like for like and thats to my shame i should know better. If anything im guilty of not understanding how punching is erotic and putting together a badly worded set of questions (remembers for next time)!, im amazed at how many people seem to have indeed judged me and those who have said they do not endorse this form of play, again this is open to interpretation isnt it?

ive said that before initially somewhere in all the quagmire! i will say this again i am ignorant to this form of play so i asked questions about it,  about something i cant/dont understand, some of the responses have been aggressive in their manner to say the least(my interpretation). i believe people read things in their own way and will interpret it in their own way and respond accordingly however its well noted that misinterpretation is a common mis-communication of most arguements.

i  thank Archer, Aswad, MadRabbit and robertolapiedra for responding in a manner in which has educated me, also to the many other people who have said how great/erotic they think it is. i never for a moment expected this topic to raise such heated passionate responses. i apologise for not having yet responded to you gents in particular, NONE of what you have written has or will go un-noticed. but which one will i/do i respond to without taking up the rest of mine and everyones day?

i feel this appears to be a mainly american favourite, (im probably wrong and will get flamed for this too, but if i am its not widely discussed/thrashed out over here) as i genuinely hadnt heard of this kink until an american dom mailed me, perhaps we in the UK dont see this as AS acceptable/rewarding/erotic because punching and its association with Domestic violence as someone has already suggested? AND im not suggesting people in the USA do! god forbid! perhaps because i have sat through domestic violence lectures recently im struggling to equate punching with pleasure?. i do know im learning about the erotic 'art' of punching and kicking, i also realise and acknowledge i was only associating punching with anger and that was MY mistake but through posting the questions and the responses  ive been able to see that, and at least if Master turned round and said W/we were going to try punching and kicking tonight im not going to go running to the nearest corner and try and protect myself, i thank E/everyone who has responded.

i do hope i havent given the impression i have twisted my own words! Goodness me, nit picking is never a good past-time, i may have re-phrased to save time but the meaning was always the same which is again down to interpretations.

dpt.




Aswad -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 3:56:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeggyO

Based on the medical information I have gotten from medical professionals, the blow has to be delivered specifically above the left ventricle and the window of the timing of the blow is approximately 15 ms.


Okay, that's different from what I got.

Looking at WP for reference (admittedly a poor choice for medical issues), the notion is that of delivering 50J or so to the sternum at the right height, within a window of 10-30ms per beat. Note the last part. Assuming the recipient is all hot and sweaty, as high as 90-something bpm is not unlikely, giving a beat duration of about 650ms.

Using your figures (15ms), that means 2.3% of the time, the heart is in a vulnerable phase.

That translates into something more like one-in-fifty.

Now, again, WP is a poor source, but it indicates 50J is enough, if you get the area approximately right. It also indicates that hitting the area more precisely, or hitting at a more unfortunate angle, will lower the impact needed. This (50J) is about a half-strength punch for an untrained, average-fit person, if I remember my sports figures, while a top trained fighter using proper skeletal alignment could deliver slightly over 1KJ, compared to about 3KJ for a 7.62mm round, or about 450J for a 9mm parabellum round. Attempting to deliver that kind of impact pretty much qualifies for the Darwin Award, though.

Of course, if you'd like to check up on the sources, that would be lovely. I'm no cardiologist, as I said, so the only checking I've done is having a look at WP half a minute ago.

quote:

I don't know where the 1 in 40 number comes from - if it were accurate then we'd have a lot of dead folks around.


I dunno. I see a bit of sparring and such. It's not exactly often that people deliver a significant impact to the correct part of the sternum during training. As I said, a blow to the sternum should break cartilage at the very least, and compress the thoracic cavity, which in itself poses a cardiac risk for entirely different reasons.

But, yeah, it does seem to be somewhat unlikely for a random blow. Unless the sources used by WP are off, though, the slightly lower figure of one in fifty should be correct for those blows that land right. All I said, though, was not to do that; for an untrained person to start punching that part of the sternum hard enough to knock the wind from a person, for fun, seemed an unnecessary risk until the parties had done the research themselves.

Note that I had no reference for the strength of the blow, save that it knocked the wind from her.

Striking toward the celiac plexus at a somewhat upward angle while the abdominal muscles are relaxed is, as I am sure you know, something that can easily be done in a way that minimizes risk and gives a fair bit of shock effect, the latter being what she gave as the reason for the turn-on. It can also upset the diaphragm temporarily, with an effect that I guess one can describe as having the wind knocked out of oneself. From what you (or was it someone else?) said earlier, there should be no danger in striking there, as opposed to some small danger in hitting the sternum for the same effect (which takes a considerably stronger punch).

Hence, my advice.

If you still feel it's bad advice, then I have nothing to counter that, and stand corrected.

quote:

Also, the injury you described in the dojo sounds like something other than Commotio Cordis, which is a spontaneous stopping of the heart.


As I also commented.

Note that I also said that, in the dojo, it seems to me like most blows to the sternum would be more like this: an accident, where either a combat blow is dealt, or a training blow hits the wrong area. In either case, the result is the same: broken cartilage and/or bone, along with thoracic compression. Commotio cordis is rather irrelevant in that context, I would imagine, and thus wouldn't show up on statistics, since it would be hard to discern whether timing or trauma was the actual cause involved.

Low impact sparring, like practiced in many mainstream dojos, doesn't have enough force to cause commotio cordis in the first place, going by either what you said, or what WP said. This is also the most common case where children are involved, and those are the most vulnerable ones, given their relatively lower absorption of the impact. (Though there is a disease which weakens the sternum, whose name escapes me; an untrained Dom might not remember to check for that.)

quote:

There was a post on the Diva Midori list about commotio cordis that details this information.  While I do not have permission to repost it here, here is the link to the list http://groups.yahoo.com/group/divamidori/.  Do a search on Commotio Cordis and you can see the entire thread.


Thank you for that link, I'll have a look at it.

Please note that I was not criticizing the use of punching and kicking as play, merely suggesting that it would be a good idea to do a bit of basic research, and saying that I wouldn't do it, for reasons unrelated to any perception of risk on my part, as already outlined in previous posts.




Aswad -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 4:09:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

although most boxers have some degree of brain damage over time, not that it shows at all...


Pugilistic dementia occurs from repeated trauma to the head.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've not seen anyone here suggesting head strikes.
And I suspect the mods might excise any post that did suggest that it would be a good idea.

Again, the Darwin Awards spring to mind.

A boxer will deliver a blow to the head with an impact that is up to about twice that of a 9mm round.
This they will do as often as they can for three minute rounds, up to thirteen in all.
And they damn well know the risks, and psych themselves up for it.
A good boxer tries to be a killer in the ring, IIRC.

Any Dom who does this to their sub is looking for something other than what this thread is about, I expect.

quote:

But if you hang around an ER you'll see a few of the ones who weren't quite so lucky. Ruptured liver, spleen, etc - yes, it's rare. But it does happen.


Of course it does.

As does kidney failure following wetsex, perforated colons during anal sex, broken necks during whip play, severed veins and arteries during knife play, and so on, and so forth, but that doesn't mean these things receive nearly as much negative attention.

The point being, it's not that there aren't risks, but rather that those risks appear to be within the same range as fairly common play, and that the reason punching ends up seeing a lot more details about safety is twofold: (a) there has been more research, due to combative sports and accidental trauma during other sports, and (b) people have an innate aversion to anything they mentally connect with violence, which in modern western society encompasses punching, but does not encompass tools of torture, since people have seen punching used with the intent of violence, but have not seen tools of torture used with that same intent.




Aswad -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 4:11:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: robertolapiedra

but would'nt that hurt your hands?


Nah. Just takes a bit of practice to get used to.

quote:

I'm curious, is the sub free swinging from the ceiling like an heavy bag or do you prefer to have her set up like a double ended?


Obviously, you fold the sub double, then stick her in a heavy bag, optionally padding it out with some sawdust, and then you're all set. The sawdust has the added benefit of preventing the bag from staining. ~lol~

quote:

Man, I really dont know shit about this!


Well, now you do. [:D]




Aswad -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 4:45:17 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domspaintoy

If anything im guilty of not understanding how punching is erotic [...] i am ignorant to this form of play so i asked questions about it [...] perhaps because i have sat through domestic violence lectures recently im struggling to equate punching with pleasure? i do know im learning about the erotic 'art' of punching and kicking


Good reply.

Here's a quick suggestion in response to the bits I quoted, an experiment if you will:

(Stop at any point you feel like, and do it yourself so there is no mental component of violence.)

Using your index finger, search around your belly just below where the ribcage ends. Find a small grove dead center, between four small muscles (the upper four of a sixpack); for me, this is slightly shy of two inches from where the ribcage ends.

Then, look at your hand. Your thumb connects to a lump not entirely unlike the drum of a chicken leg, which is a muscle. On the opposite side of the hand, there is another pad that is at an angle to the first. Between them is an indentation. Using the part of the first muscle that is closer to the thumb, tap the grove in your belly lightly.

Ideally, while it is by no means necessary, the angle of the tap should be slightly upward, like if you imagine a line from the surface to the spine a few inches up, and try to direct the motion along that line. Don't worry if you don't get it right; the most important thing for this demonstration is hitting the right spot on the surface.

Without tensing your stomach, gradually increase the force at a pace you are quite comfortable with in terms of control and hitting the right spot. At one point, you should start to feel a kind of jarring feeling that is different from the blow itself. If you keep going harder, you will feel your breathing gets disturbed a bit. A while past that, the breathing will lock up for a few seconds at a time, and you will feel that the blow is causing you to exhale. (Technically, you're just temporarily relaxing the muscle holding the air in, not quite exhaling in the usual way.)

If any part of this process feels like it has erotic potential to you, then you "get" it.
If not, you at least have a better impression of what is involved.

Lastly, as a different angle...
Have you ever picked at a bruise?
Most people I know find it oddly pleasing.
Yet, at the same time, it can also be unpleasant.
Perhaps that angle might also be useful to you in a way.

Again, I'm not a masochist, and I don't use punching in play, so I can't explain it well.
Neither does this experiment convey the "primal" aspect many seem to enjoy.
The latter can, however, to some extent, probably be explained anyway.
Think of it in terms of the unique intimacy associated with fisting.
(You mentioned having done that earlier in the thread.)
Flesh-on-flesh generally has a unique feel to it.

For some, aggression is also part of it, for both parties.
I'd be inclined to compare aggression to passion, to some extent.
Unless you've released aggression in a controlled way, it's hard to relate.

I do something similar as a replacement for spanking, as it gives me better control, a wider range of impact (from a light touch up to something like a small handgun), and doesn't cause me the same sting as striking with an open hand.

Martial arts teach a lot about restraint and the body dynamics involved in generating force and accurately directing and timing it, which readily generalizes to BDSM, whether one is using a tool or not. It also covers a fair bit about pain, and the "better" ones cover a bit about anatomy. Some styles also cover ways to restrain a person effectively, which makes for a more intimate alternative to bondage and restraints. In short, while they were initially developed for combat, the martial arts generally also have peaceful applications.

Hope some of this was useful. I'm just trying to bridge the gap from the sidelines.




Faramir -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 5:45:04 AM)

Last night, Harry Houdini's ghost rose from the grave and punched me in the stomach and all my internal organs exploded [:(]




Polynikes -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 6:02:10 AM)

This is one of the activities that I've never indulged in.  I'm significantly larger and vastly stronger than my subs/slaves.  I could unwittingly do major damage to my girl.  But I have to say it never even occured to me to try this with my girl.  It doesn't work for me, but if consenting adults want to go at it then that is fine with me.  MKIOK, YKIOK. [sm=mrpuffy.gif]




DommeChains -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 6:05:55 AM)

I think the topic "hit" some buttons for lots of folks.  It is appealing because it is primal.  One human touching another human, flesh to flesh without implements is as basic as it gets.

Just like any other type of play it carries risks....and that, if we are to be honest with ourselves, is part of the charm or appeal.  We(the community) like some degree of risk.  It makes us juicy, it makes us hot, it is part of what makes our kink side get aroused and involved.  Now everyone has their personal limits of what degree of risk they wish to entertain or engage in.  Hence the need for negotiation and consent.




Aubre -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 6:18:15 AM)

Punching is not an activity I choose to participate in, and holds no interest for me whatsoever.




sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 6:18:41 AM)

personally, i don't find anything erotic in punching someone. i see it as abuse and if any person (Dom or otherwise) wants to take a swing at me, be warned, i will swing back to defend myself.  my body is not your personal punching bag ...and punching is also a domestic violence abuse charge.




daddysprop247 -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 6:31:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

in the stomach and anywhere else except my head, a current limit he's placed on himself


Far be it from me to interfere, but I'd suggest avoiding the sternum, clavicles and kidneys, too.

quote:

it's either a matter of punishment [...] or a matter of him needing the physical release, after a stressful day or period in his life, beating me to ease the tension and bring him back down to a place of calm and peace.


For me, I don't think that would work, but if it does for him, that's great.

Personally, I prefer a heavy bag.

It doesn't get injured or killed, which a human would, the way I treat the bags.



true, with a human punching bag there can be damages to deal with, but that's a risk my Master is willing to take. He's also very good at controlling the force of his punches, even when he may appear to be "out of control" (angry, tense, etc.). something within him never forgets that it's me he's hitting, not a bag at the gym or a grown man. He also doesn't focus too much on one particular area (like that sweet spot over the kidneys), he'll spread it around a bit. but even so there have been some mild injuries over the years, nothing he would consider inappropriate.





Aswad -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 8:39:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

true, with a human punching bag there can be damages to deal with, but that's a risk my Master is willing to take.


I gathered as much.

quote:

He's also very good at controlling the force of his punches, even when he may appear to be "out of control" (angry, tense, etc.).


I, too, can control the force of my punches. I do so when training with people that are less experienced, in order to avoid injuring anyone. With a heavy bag, however, I don't need to. Worst case, the heavy bag gets torn, or bursts, or jumps off its hinges. No hospitals, no police, and no death row.

Hence, I can put everything I have into each punch, which "burns" a lot more excess energy and/or frustrations for me.

quote:

something within him never forgets that it's me he's hitting, not a bag at the gym or a grown man.


A grown man can be injured quite easily, as well, if one doesn't hold back and/or he doesn't "receive" it properly.

Good punches deliver as much impact as a handgun. Kicks come close to the impact of an assault rifle. Either will break virtually any bone (but not joint) in the body with a significant margin. The acceleration of tissue at any given point can reach several hundred G's. A good punch exceeds what you would experience from a crash at 60mph with no seatbelt.

Hence, the issue remains relevant also for a grown man.

Again, holding back avoids this problem, but for me, at least, it doesn't afford much "venting".

quote:

He also doesn't focus too much on one particular area (like that sweet spot over the kidneys), he'll spread it around a bit.


That's probably a good thing. Repeat trauma is usually worse than a stronger initial trauma, IIRC.

quote:

but even so there have been some mild injuries over the years, nothing he would consider inappropriate.


One hopes they remain mild. [:)]




IrishMist -> RE: Punching your sub/slave? (7/5/2007 8:58:10 AM)

My late husband used to punch me quite often [:D] The primality of it was a HUGE turn on and it gave me a chance to strike back if I felt the need to. He was not big into the areas below the neck though...for some reason he liked my face and having a fist hit me there just put me over the edge...Mmmmmmmmmm yummy




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