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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 8:39:34 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Please keep in mind that those seeking a guarantee of safety should not leave the comfort of their bed each morning (though they'd be risking bed sores).  Nothing in life is without risk, and B/D S/M is no different.  Particularly as one engages in edgier play.  Everyone must weigh the risks for themselves, and come to their own conclusions about what is and isn't an acceptable level of risk.
 
And as for that adreneline rush.... it's not limited to these types of scenes.  Some Tops experience an adreneline rush while caning, whipping, paddling... you're not suggesting that there's an inherently unique danger to an adreneline rush from punching, are you?
 
Finally, training in any activity can mitigate (though not eliminate) risk and contribute to the overall safety of a scene.  That's as true with resistence/take down/punching scenes as any other.
 
John

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 8:47:44 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		despite the narrow-minded comments of a few, i've been very pleasantly surprised at the positive/open-minded reaction to this subject. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  

but i have a question, for those who engage in these activities...does anyone else engage in punching/kicking outside of play or a scene? perhaps for disciplinary purposes...punishment...or something else?

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 8:48:28 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline 		FR...

Count me among the ignorant massess that have never seen a punching or kicking scene.  Its not my thing but I would like to see it (and see what my reaction will be - I suspect amusement, but I'm just a curious sort of person). 

And I've been to large events - BR twice (before it became the smaller event it currently is) as well as more regional events like the Boston Fetish Flea market.  For the most part these days, we prefer smaller events with people we know, as opposed to the large (warehouse style) events.

C~


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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 8:52:29 AM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I can only speak from my own and the several other people I trust in this type of play to ask for pointers myself.
I do find that the "rush" comes on faster for most of the people I know personally who Top in Deep Impact and resistance play. That said I tend to openly discuss that this rush will almost invariably come to the Top fom this kind of play and to be ready for it. But it is far from unique to this form of SM.

Preparing for a "Top Space" where the energy is raw s important so that one maintains enough detatchment from themselves to know when the limits of your own "safety/risk awareness" have been reached.

I know I generally reach the point where I feel the need to stop the scene for my own headspace reasons before my bottoms are ready for me to stop.

I know a few folks who say they get the feral uncontroled energy, and they each tell me their own ways of deciding when they are approaching their Point of No Return. We each have to form our own mindset and explore that edge point in our own time and way. Knowing that the point is somewhere out there usually keeps those of us who are "all about control" mindfull about losing control even when we feel we are still in control. For myself the feeling comes on that I am super human to I am godlike to I am a Golden God. When I feel myself get close to the I am God range I know it is time for me to stop.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 8:53:17 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

despite the narrow-minded comments of a few, i've been very pleasantly surprised at the positive/open-minded reaction to this subject. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  

but i have a question, for those who engage in these activities...does anyone else engage in punching/kicking outside of play or a scene? perhaps for disciplinary purposes...punishment...or something else?

just because i don't share your ideal of being a human punching bag doesn't mean i'm narrow-minded. i'm loved and cherished not getting the crap kicked out of me for pleasure by my Daddy.


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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:00:14 AM   
CrimsonMoan


Posts: 2652
Joined: 10/31/2006
From: Portland, Me via Las Vegas Nv
Status: offline 		just my two cents on the so called negative reactions on this. Despite what a lot of us get into in the scene punching seems to be one of those thing we equate will all out violence and abuse.  In most case where you are seeing some chick being punched in the gut its not because she enjoys it or even wants it.

Have i been punched before for the hell of it? yeah but i was in high school and it was by a guy who like a girl while i hit like a man. The point is there are somethings some of us will never wrap our brains around and you know what ? Thats ok. For any body who is into this more power to you i wll stick to wrestling and biting.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:07:45 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CrimsonMoan

just my two cents on the so called negative reactions on this. Despite what a lot of us get into in the scene punching seems to be one of those thing we equate will all out violence and abuse.  In most case where you are seeing some chick being punched in the gut its not because she enjoys it or even wants it.

Have i been punched before for the hell of it? yeah but i was in high school and it was by a guy who like a girl while i hit like a man. The point is there are somethings some of us will never wrap our brains around and you know what ? Thats ok. For any body who is into this more power to you i wll stick to wrestling and biting.


I can understand that there are things that each of us, individually, will never be able to grasp.  For instance, no matter how long I live I'll never appreciate the appeal that shoes hold for some (many?) people.  But that doesn't mean I fall back on a default reaction by calling it abusive or sick.  It's just something I can't understand, which doesn't require that it be denigraded.
 
I think that's where these things get contentious.  It's quite acceptable to say that you don't understand someone else's kink.  But when someone falls into the "my kinks are hot, yours are sick or abuse" trap then a line has been crossed, and people are gonna push back.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:10:21 AM   
mistoferin


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Joined: 10/27/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
but i have a question, for those who engage in these activities...does anyone else engage in punching/kicking outside of play or a scene? perhaps for disciplinary purposes...punishment...or something else?


I engage in this type of activity for a variety of reasons...and most often they have nothing to do with a "scene". I do it to have fun, I do it to relieve tension and stress, I do it for the rush, I do it to work out and sometimes I do it as a scene for the erotic aspect of it. But whenever I do it, it is an activity that is either engaged in mutually or as a form of consented to erotic impact play.

Should a man decide to punch, kick me or strike me in any way out of anger or as a means of discipline or punishing me...in my world, it then becomes a negative act of domestic violence.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:12:41 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		I personally have never been punched or kicked during a scene...although I actually do like getting slapped in the face and even that draws a really odd reaction at play parties. I have been to fetish parties where people get punched or things get a little rougher, but normally its a male sub/slave/bottom getting the punching..I dont think Ive ever seen it happen to a female, but I dont see why it couldnt happen. In my opinion, as long as the people joining in that type of play are both consenting, no "real" physical damage is being done, and the people doing it are aware of the risks and have even done some "training" so be sure they arent causing massive damage (ie: even light punches can cause damage in the wrong place) then I personally couldnt say anything against it. As a DM I might step closer to make sure things arent getting too out of hand though. I think alot of the bad stigmatism comes from culture issues. Somehow slapping an ass isnt abuse but when we do it to a face it is?? Not in my book.

~~~edited to add.....I havent read the entire thread, so sorry if this has already been brought up, but what about people who box for fun and for excersice? It isnt erotic then, but neither is it abuse, and ALOT more damage is caused.

< Message edited by GhitaAmati -- 7/6/2007 9:15:27 AM >

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:12:54 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

I think that's where these things get contentious.  It's quite acceptable to say that you don't understand someone else's kink.  But when someone falls into the "my kinks are hot, yours are sick or abuse" trap then a line has been crossed, and people are gonna push back.
 
John


agreed.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:15:49 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin



I engage in this type of activity for a variety of reasons...and most often they have nothing to do with a "scene". I do it to have fun, I do it to relieve tension and stress, I do it for the rush, I do it to work out and sometimes I do it as a scene for the erotic aspect of it. But whenever I do it, it is an activity that is either engaged in mutually or as a form of consented to erotic impact play.

Should a man decide to punch, kick me or strike me in any way out of anger or as a means of discipline or punishing me...in my world, it then becomes a negative act of domestic violence.


just curious, why would punching and kicking equate to negative domestic violence for you, while (i'm assuming) other physical activities would not? especially when you engage in punching and kicking for impact play?

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:21:27 AM   
GhitaAmati


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Joined: 5/30/2007
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quote:

just curious, why would punching and kicking equate to negative domestic violence for you, while (i'm assuming) other physical activities would not? especially when you engage in punching and kicking for impact play?


Im assuming she was reffering to the feeling behind the action, she mentioned she would consider it domestic abuse "if he did it out of anger" and I tend to agree, Just because I enjoy being slapped in the face during an intese scene, doesnt give anyone the right to come up to me on the street and slap me because they dont like me.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:23:07 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247
just curious, why would punching and kicking equate to negative domestic violence for you, while (i'm assuming) other physical activities would not? especially when you engage in punching and kicking for impact play?

My guess is that because of doing it IN ANGER or as a means of punishment/discipline, it would change the energy to the point where it would be unhealthy for her and processed that way. 

I mean, why do you have the reactions you do to the things you experience?  Sometimes it's learned, sometimes it's innate, sometimes it's a mix of both.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:24:19 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin



I engage in this type of activity for a variety of reasons...and most often they have nothing to do with a "scene". I do it to have fun, I do it to relieve tension and stress, I do it for the rush, I do it to work out and sometimes I do it as a scene for the erotic aspect of it. But whenever I do it, it is an activity that is either engaged in mutually or as a form of consented to erotic impact play.

Should a man decide to punch, kick me or strike me in any way out of anger or as a means of discipline or punishing me...in my world, it then becomes a negative act of domestic violence.


just curious, why would punching and kicking equate to negative domestic violence for you, while (i'm assuming) other physical activities would not? especially when you engage in punching and kicking for impact play?


It doesn't have to be punching and kicking....any action applied to my being from a perspective of malicious intent or anger is an assault.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to daddysprop247)
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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:31:43 AM   
vield


Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		LOL Lucky Albatross! That was a great post.

Yes these impacts are out there for those who consensually enjoy them, and it is not my business to pass any judgement upon play between consenting adults. I may or may not choose to join in, that is my choice.

The impacts are not always play or scene behavior either. Often people do not understand that kick or punch can be a reward to the masochist involved. This is not always the submissive partner, either. There are masochistic dominants.

It seems weird that we find people who enjoy some kinky BD/SM fetishes judging those who seek types of pain of different types, when much of this country spends a LOT of time and $$ watching men or women beat on each other in basketball, hockey, boxing, football, wrestling and so forth. If inflicting bodily pain is "wrong", why do NFL players get away with such big salaries while deomstreating their skills on television?

LOL I'd not mind seeing the results of someone telling Goddess Lakshimi that her play "is bad".

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As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:43:30 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: vield
LOL I'd not mind seeing the results of someone telling Goddess Lakshimi that her play "is bad".

*hides under blanket*

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Profile   Post #: 236
RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:48:23 AM   
Faramir


Posts: 1043
Joined: 2/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

despite the narrow-minded comments of a few, i've been very pleasantly surprised at the positive/open-minded reaction to this subject. it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.  

but i have a question, for those who engage in these activities...does anyone else engage in punching/kicking outside of play or a scene? perhaps for disciplinary purposes...punishment...or something else?

just because i don't share your ideal of being a human punching bag doesn't mean i'm narrow-minded. i'm loved and cherished not getting the crap kicked out of me for pleasure by my Daddy.



Of course not--it's fine that you don't share someone else's kink, and that in no way makes you narrow-minded.

It's your consistent disparagement of other people's intimacy choices that makes you arrow-minded.  Because you use disparaging language about other people's desires and values, but privilege your own, you construct yourself as narrow-minded, as judgemental--as a little bigot.

If you would like to correct that impression, consider an apology to Daddy'sprop--consider acknowledging that this is something you don't understand, and your outburts come from a space of ignorance,a nd that you retract them.  Magik'slave, for example, did just that, much to her credit,

If you would like to reinforce the impression, keep up the petulant outburts that reassure yourself by putting down other adult human being's right to autonomy.

_____________________________

True masters, true subs and slaves, X many years in the lifestyle, Old Guard this and High Protocol that--it's like a convention of D&D nerds were allowed to have sex once, and they decided to make a religion out of it.

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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:48:44 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		mistoferin, i can understand that for many anything done out of anger will be processed negatively. however you mentioned punching and kicking done in anger OR as a means of punishment or discipline all reading as negative violence for you. if it is simply a punishment, or a disciplinary action, with no malicious intent or anger involved, why would it still seem negative or assaulting?

(in reply to mistoferin)
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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 9:53:15 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

i'm loved and cherished not getting the crap kicked out of me for pleasure by my Daddy.


I think we should also pause and understand that not everyone's relationship ideal is one of "loved and cherished".  And on the other side of this is also the situation that a sadist sometimes does "love and cherish" the one who is receiving the brunt of the sadistic behavior that many seem to view as distasteful and abusive.

Your kink is not better or worse than my kink.  It's just different.


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RE: Punching your sub/slave? - 7/6/2007 10:04:47 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline 		prop, punishment and discipline are not part of a relationship I would be a part of. If a man blackens my eye because we mutually chose to engage in a good round of boxing, I understood and consented to that risk. If a man blackens my eye to teach me a lesson for burning the morning toast, he should resign himself to the fact that he will be eating his morning toast at the jail for however long the judge determines he will be there.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to daddysprop247)
Profile   Post #: 240
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