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RE: questionnaire - 7/4/2007 6:10:31 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Cape Cod... beware... little perv with little man's disease and if I am wrong... at the very least he is one dumb animal...

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: questionnaire - 7/4/2007 7:55:52 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline 		Wow. That is one hardcore list. I wouldn't fill it out but I guess that's his filter / guage. No biggie.

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You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: questionnaire - 7/4/2007 9:19:15 PM   
GoddessinDallas


Posts: 57
Joined: 11/25/2006
Status: offline 		The only people who need a questionare, are peoplewhoare clueless how to talk to someone sitting right in front of them,or are clueless about what they are doing and need the sub to show/tell them what to do.

(in reply to SubinMaine)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: questionnaire - 7/4/2007 9:26:22 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		I created a checklist and questionare if the OP is interested in it or anyone else. I will have it posted on my lj journal in the next few days or I can be contacted on the otherside; I wanted something comprehensive, so I made my own.
 
I use them, I look at a checklist as another tool in getting to know someone, limits, what they have and have not done, etc. MJ hasn't asked for mine, so He does not have it, He only asked for basic [hard] limits before we saw eachother, He may ask for the checklist before things go further, I will offer it, if He says no thats cool; its there.

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(in reply to SubinMaine)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: questionnaire - 7/4/2007 9:51:44 PM   
Slavetrainer2007


Posts: 231
Joined: 12/2/2006
Status: offline 		I use a modified version of the hundreds of BDSM checklist floating around. I use the checklist as a reference  for play and thats it. I actually have a girl make two of the same checklist. one when she is extremely horny and another when not.  Outside of play such questionaires or checklist are pretty useless except as a filter for "deal-breakers"

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(in reply to slaverosebeauty)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: questionnaire - 7/4/2007 10:41:29 PM   
Trampler


Posts: 580
Joined: 12/31/2006
Status: offline 		GoddessinDallas, just because you don't use them doesn't mean they are invalid. 

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(in reply to Slavetrainer2007)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 3:28:29 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		I have to admit to being pleased that jeff posted the link to his questionnaire... who would have thought that my jaw can still literally drop in shock with things I read on here! 

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(in reply to MasterJeff1952)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 3:29:10 AM   
instynctive


Posts: 2726
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Cape Cod... beware... little perv with little man's disease and if I am wrong... at the very least he is one dumb animal...


I already checked familywatchdog.us.. didn't see him there..


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(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 3:43:33 AM   
PsyVamp


Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterJeff1952

Greetings,
I have one I use, I made it Myself, http://www.geocities.com/sirjeff1952/questionnaire.html
it is easy to set up if you wish to use the same type
SirJeff


Took a quick look at what you made, doesn't seem to be a space for Hard Limits.  Do you discuss these at any point? 

~Psy

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(in reply to MasterJeff1952)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 4:11:57 AM   
BBBTBW


Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
Status: offline 		*FAST REPLY*

A lot of people are blasting Master Jeff for specific questions on his questionnaire.  The only thing I can see wrong with it is that he doesn't give the option to opt out of those certain activities.  Those of you that are squicked or more at the questions would be SUPRISED to find that there are many people that would admit to being interested in those activities.  I don't know what his reasons for asking those questions are, but for me, I use them as a tool to say thank you for your time but no thank you, I don't want your time.  There are many more things not listed on his questionnaire that need to be asked.  A questionnaire like this should not be in lieu of indepth conversation, but can be used as a spring board/stepping off point for indepth conversation.  Don't let a few questions scare you, let the answers make you pause. And YES Dominants should fill things like this out too.  If one isn't willing to answer they own question, they shouldnt' ask them.

I, like Ms Pleasure tend to forget to ask some things and the checklist/questionnaire serves to help me cover the bases I feel are important without overlooking some things. 

*edited because there were things I forgot to say the first time



< Message edited by BBBTBW -- 7/5/2007 4:15:34 AM >

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(in reply to PsyVamp)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 5:15:57 AM   
SubinMaine


Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline 		Good point BBBTBW...he could be using it as a "filter out" option, but if that's the case he really should have had a "HELL NO" or un-pushable Hard Limit choice.

As a parent, in my mind, the question has no place on a questionnaire for a potential sub/slave.  Just the thought is revolting so i cannot wrap my brain around someone actually thinking about the acts and finding it worthy of a list.  The fault may lie with me and my way of thinking and i'll accept that.


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That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 6:17:27 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Everyone is mentioning that he could be using them to weed out people...whats with him asking the first name and ages and sexes of all your kids? right after you give him your street address??

(in reply to SubinMaine)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 6:28:32 AM   
SubinMaine


Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

Everyone is mentioning that he could be using them to weed out people...whats with him asking the first name and ages and sexes of all your kids? right after you give him your street address??


Good question...and one that just reaffirms my gut instinct that this guy isn't quite "right"...i could be wrong, but i'm not willing to take that type of chance, i'd hope other sub/slaves wouldn't as well.

*edited to add*...the wording on question #22 doesn't seem like one that's a "weed them out" type of question.  It's too....i don't know, bold maybe?  That coupled with the point Ghita brought up and the fact that there's way too much vital information (full name: first middle last, address, identifying factors) to make this sit well with just about anyone.

you'd basically be giving a stranger your name, address, description of what you look like, your children's names, sexes and ages and putting a big red X on your rooftop for him to "find" you.

Don't get me wrong, i'm all for a personal checklist so the "interviewer" doesn't forget to ask a question...and a questionnaire doesn't have to necessarily be a "bad" thing.  This particular one, though, throws up mega-red flags.


< Message edited by SubinMaine -- 7/5/2007 6:35:25 AM >

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That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 6:32:31 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		if you got the date of birth, don't you by inferrence know the astrological sign?

I must be a lazy motherfucker, cause if I had to read one of these for every girl I talked with I would go insane, I would rather they talk about it, as it flows rather than a checklist, that I can make once I inspect them. 

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to SubinMaine)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 6:34:12 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

whats with him asking the first name and ages and sexes of all your kids? right after you give him your street address??

i chatted with a "dom" offline from here who asked the ages of my UMs (which i refused to disclosed) after asking if i'm close with them ...however it wasn't the "closeness" that he was thinking of when i answered his question. he was immediately blocked when i told him i don't play that way with my daughters.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 7/5/2007 6:35:34 AM >

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(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 6:58:46 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

i chatted with a "dom" offline from here who asked the ages of my UMs (which i refused to disclosed) after asking if i'm close with them ...however it wasn't the "closeness" that he was thinking of when i answered his question. he was immediately blocked when i told him i don't play that way with my daughters.



I have no problems with any Dom asking me if I have UMs, it kinda says alot about me, and about what I can and cant get away with in my house...but no one out there needs to know personal information about them, at least not until we are well on our way to a commited relationship that goes far beyond the occasional play.

To get this slightly back on topic...I spent many years working at fetish parties and bdsm conventions of one type or another. Everyweekend I saw people get together to scene who had never met each other before that night. VERY rarely did I see anyone take out an actual checklist, yet they all did some really great pre-scene negotiation. Many active players actually "memorize" a checklist or questionaire, but they go through it verbally and not "here fill this out and get back to me". That goes for Doms and subs alike. There are many things that need to be talked about before a scene, and I honestly believe things get worked out better with a conversation than a peice of paper.

My husband and I have been together for almost 5 years, but only recently have we been exploring D/s together..and not just as something I did as a job..more as an actual part of our relationship. Communication is one of the best things about our marriage, we can and do talk about everything with each other. We've discussed wants, desires, total turn offs and major hard limits. Last week we ran accross one of those "checklists" and decided to fill it out. It caused a rather big argument that lasted almost 3 days! When you check off..."yes ive done that" but there is no discussion about how or why or with who or when or wether you liked it or did it as part of a relationship or you actually want to do it again or not...things get heated!

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 7:08:57 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i don't mind mentioning that i have two daughters however i draw the line when a dom asks if i allow them to watch, participate, etc in adult activities such as sex.


i know Mod XI might pull this response but i wanted to clarify what this dom was hinting at when he meant by "closeness".


_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 7:42:37 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline 		If you have AOL, go to the dominant women, real dominant women, submissive males, etc. chat rooms in the member created area called "special interests".   Some of the Pro Dommes have this questionaire on their web pages.  I'm sure there are better ways already mentioned here, but having not read through them, just another option.  Those questionaires, I was told during  chat with some of the Dommes who had them, helped them develop scenes for their clients.  I don't know how true that is, or how helpful this info was.  But for lifestyle considerations, wouldn't it be much better to learn each other, limits, likes, what turns you on, what terrifies you, what disgusts you, what you fantasize about in direct communication with potential Dominants?  A form letter just seems way to impersonal IMHO.

_____________________________



(in reply to SirMaintenance)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 7:57:54 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sambamanslilgirl

i don't mind mentioning that i have two daughters however i draw the line when a dom asks if i allow them to watch, participate, etc in adult activities such as sex.


i know Mod XI might pull this response but i wanted to clarify what this dom was hinting at when he meant by "closeness".



I'm a wee bit confused, I read the questionaire and while shocked/appalled at #'s 21 & 22 no where did I read anything about UMs watching or 'closeness'?
Did my eyes glaze over too soon?

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(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: questionnaire - 7/5/2007 8:02:05 AM   
SubinMaine


Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

I'm a wee bit confused, I read the questionaire and while shocked/appalled at #'s 21 & 22 no where did I read anything about UMs watching or 'closeness'?
Did my eyes glaze over too soon?


cj, she was refering to a personal experience, not the actual questionnaire


_____________________________

That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 60
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