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AdventurousLife -> RE: Real or fake? Who can tell? (7/12/2007 4:11:56 AM)
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Don't let the scene be your guide. I've seen no end of newbies who show up at a munch, get invited ot a play party, get excited, start "training" online, get a "protection" collar, become the "slave" of their "protector", discover that he just wanted to get into their pants, get turned into a "Bratty submissive", get kicked to the curb when a new piece of meat shows up and either they then start working the newbies over for some dom (by providing great references to for the asshole) or otherwise playing in the drama... or they leave brokenhearted and sure they did something terribly wrong, but not sure what it was.
It was a revolving door and I couldn't stand to see it-- and all the really bad advice (like, "never date a guy who doesn't play in public-- if he doesn't play in public he's obviously unsafe because what other reason would he have to hide?" ) and a constant stream of rumors started to get back at people.
And the really prominent "mother" sub in the local scene pretended like she was the great protector, but she was the biggest source of drama, rumors, and manipulation.
There were some great people -- upstanding people with integrity that I respected-- but they were outnumbered by the "lifestylers" (my term for people who think they do Ds but know nothing about it, and really are just into a particular activity - such as bondage or flogging, etc. those who try to dominate anyone and think that this is ok-- that manipulation like that is "just doms being doms" or "see- she lied to him and he believed her, he got dommed by that sub! LOL, he's not a real dom!")
But the real victims were the newbie subs .... they come thikning that its the "really supportive community" they get told it is only to find out the truth the haqrd way.... (though my collared sub was once assaulted by the "mother" sub who also told her a lot of lies about me-- which was funny because she must have thought we were just dating and that she wouldn't immediately know they were lies.)
I think what really makes me angry, and why I've ranted here is not so much the tragedy of the newbies-- can't protect them all and they are adults-- but the sanctimoniousness of the victimizers pretending to be the arbiters of safety. And the gullibility of people who think "reputation" that hey hear form people who are not actually without agendas is more valuable than using their own eyes and ears and brains.
Its been a few years, maybe things have changed dramatically--- but the number of profiles on this site from 22-28 year olds who indicate they've been abused or "left the scene" or "are just getting my life back together" indicates otherwise.
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