RE: Being loyal to your word

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AquaticSub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 6:56:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian quote: ORIGINAL: ArtofWar akbarb, I do not think the punishment or attempt at public humiliation was the most effective form of communicating one's wishes with a slave/sub. Of course not! I pointed out that it was a flaw in my character that allowed me to do such a thing to begin with in the same post. Don't worry, I think it will work out, and if it doesn't, I will at least have been more true to myself. Despite what they tell us in kindergarten, being true to yourself is not always a good thing. I mean, Jeffery Dalmer was very true to himself...

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 7:15:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: callofzion Look, people, 17 pages already? Isn't it time we just all accepted that being 'loyal to your word' is only important if you're too stupid to redefine what your words mean after the fact? Like, "I know I said I'd go to your stupid party, but what that really meant was I would consider going if nothing more pressing came up, surely you knew that, didn't you? Would you expect me to go to the party if I had broken my neck?! accompanied with horrified look I thought that was just logical common sense!" This technique is a totally acceptable form of relationship warfare, so keep it at the ready, and use it often, combined, of course, with being prepared to punch someone in the stomach. Remember, they're not prisoners of war if they're enemy combatants. I haven't done that sort of impact play, but they do give classes on it in my area occasionally.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 7:21:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian quote: ORIGINAL: ArtofWar akbarb, I do not think the punishment or attempt at public humiliation was the most effective form of communicating one's wishes with a slave/sub. Of course not! I pointed out that it was a flaw in my character that allowed me to do such a thing to begin with in the same post. Don't worry, I think it will work out, and if it doesn't, I will at least have been more true to myself. Despite what they tell us in kindergarten, being true to yourself is not always a good thing. I mean, Jeffery Dalmer was very true to himself... So, be true to yourself unless you're person x? What should Dalmer have done if not be his bloody, screwed up self? At least he was apparently good at what he did, not that I condone being a criminal and murderer. I however, don't hate people for being screwed up, I just take protective measures as needed. Maybe by your definition I'm screwed up, but I'm not messing with you. Maybe I'm just the right kind of screwed up for Jodi, you know, a little spicy in the personality area...sizzle...but that doesn't mean it's bad for her nessecarily. You however, aren't spicy enough to satisfy me most likely but I don't hate you for it or scold you for being unspicy.

slaveofKaos -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 7:26:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy It must be fun to live your life out on a forum. I have lost track of the number of relationships that have played themselves out on the board like this. I just can't figure out what I think is worse. The drama of it being played out on the boards.... or.... the fact that they can't see the train wreck that everyone else sees. I find it quite stupid that anyone would think Master and my relationship is being played out on this thread. The facts are we only come to the threads when there is a problem or were curious about things. No one on here is in our relationship and see's everything that goes on. You only see the negative and there really hasnt been that many maybe 3 times have we posted a disagreement. I would not stay in a relationship that was negative 24/7 the fact is that most of the relationship is great with an exception here and there. I have become very offended by the people that see this as a game if you think it is stop posting on this thread, there is no reason for you to continue. I of course thank everyone else for all you suggestions whether there necessarily what I wanted to hear or not.

KnightofMists -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 8:07:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos No one on here is in our relationship and see's everything that goes on. Nope... they don't.... But, they don't have too.... I suggest people go read this book.. and they will appreciate even more why they don't have too.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blink_(book) It's a very interesting read.... of course this book will not help your relationship.. but it will help you to appreciate why people make the judgements they are of you and barbarian... without knowing you in detail. As I said... they don't have too.. and they can be extremely accurate in their judgement. There is one section of the book that talks about judging the success of relationships... it is very interesting and was an eye opener for me.

AquaticSub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 8:08:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian So, be true to yourself unless you're person x? What should Dalmer have done if not be his bloody, screwed up self? At least he was apparently good at what he did, not that I condone being a criminal and murderer. I however, don't hate people for being screwed up, I just take protective measures as needed. Maybe by your definition I'm screwed up, but I'm not messing with you. Maybe I'm just the right kind of screwed up for Jodi, you know, a little spicy in the personality area...sizzle...but that doesn't mean it's bad for her nessecarily. You however, aren't spicy enough to satisfy me most likely but I don't hate you for it or scold you for being unspicy. All that I am saying is that being true to yourself isn't always a good thing, though people always state it as this wonderfully magically "everything I do is ok as long as I'm being true to myself" bullshit. You can see whatever you want in that, but I certainly don't hate you. If Jodi wants to be with you, that's her business. And if you want to resort to childish insults, that is yours. By the way... I haven't been insulting you. I think you are stubbornly using a way of training that isn't working, but you did ask for opinions. I think you could make a great master, for the right slave. From what you two have been posting though, I just don't think you two have found that match. Sorry if it bugs you, but you did choose to ask for opinions.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 9:04:28 PM)
LOL actually when people ask "How should I act at an event?" I always say "Just act like yourself...unless you're an asshole, and then pretend to be a mature reasonable adult." I think this applies especially well in this case.

AquaticSub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 9:16:10 PM)
LOL, LA I do love you. I generally just tell people to be calm, mature and for God's sake listen more then you talk.

Celeste43 -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 9:18:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian Maybe I'm just the right kind of screwed up for Jodi, you know, a little spicy in the personality area...sizzle...but that doesn't mean it's bad for her nessecarily. You really think that the right thing for her is to try to destroy her ties to her family who have always been there for her whereas you have only been there for her for a few months? You really think that the best thing you can do for her is to zero in on the relationships she has that have been the most supportive and do your best to leave her with no support? And if you do so, and then decide that being true to yourself means kicking her to the curb for some other infraction, do you propose to get great glee from knowing she will have no one to give her a hand back up after you've separated her from her family? A real master would have realized that a grandfather who had given her a home was worth a lot more than someone you had never met and would have accompanied her to her grandfather's party. Don't look now but your insecurities are showing.

BeingChewsie -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 10:43:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists Frankly this couple reminds me of that couple that was in the New Orleans area that was on the boards some time ago. They deserved each other. SirSix72 and Belladonna, yeah wow. They worked far harder at proving how cool they were and defending eachother though. yeah.. but no less dysfunctional Were they more entertaining? LOL...in a real fucked up sort of way...I think he was slightly more arrogant and she was slightly more high school drop out type...than our current contestants.

LaTigresse -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 12:24:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos No one on here is in our relationship and see's everything that goes on. Nope... they don't.... But, they don't have too.... I suggest people go read this book.. and they will appreciate even more why they don't have too.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blink_(book) It's a very interesting read.... of course this book will not help your relationship.. but it will help you to appreciate why people make the judgements they are of you and barbarian... without knowing you in detail. As I said... they don't have too.. and they can be extremely accurate in their judgement. There is one section of the book that talks about judging the success of relationships... it is very interesting and was an eye opener for me. I agree, that is an excellent book.

MadRabbit -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 4:18:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy I so don't get it. I like to think Madrabbit is giving an opinion and not a synopsis, but... I would like to think so too. However, this entire thing began basically with his bad self serving decision regarding the party. If he had made a better decision, this whole thing wont have happened. I like to think that understanding that obedience and submission is something dependant on good decisions is a concept all Doms and Master understand. However...apparently not... Because instead he chose to make an even worse decision of purchasing an electric collar to get the girl to agree to his future bad decisions.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 6:00:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Celeste43 A real master would have... Only an online BDSM junkie would use this term, but truthfully, it gives me a STRONG appreciation for why local organizations use the term Top rather than Dom or Master in most cases. Noone can argue that I am a "heavy Top", yet if I self identify as Master people online will say "oh yeah?", and give a litany of judgemental shit assuming that I must be just as pompus as they are. Master to me doesn't mean I'm any better than anyone else. In the end I'm going to do what's I feel is right for me, and so should you, and surprise surprise those will be very different things. I wonder, being scolded as I have for not encouraging individuality and differences between me and my slave, if the irony occurs to others who tell me how I should live and what I should do.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 6:05:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy I so don't get it. I like to think Madrabbit is giving an opinion and not a synopsis, but... I would like to think so too. However, this entire thing began basically with his bad self serving decision regarding the party. If he had made a better decision, this whole thing wont have happened. I like to think that understanding that obedience and submission is something dependant on good decisions is a concept all Doms and Master understand. However...apparently not... Because instead he chose to make an even worse decision of purchasing an electric collar to get the girl to agree to his future bad decisions. I got the collar awhile ago, and awhile before the post on Jodi's journal even: 6/25/2007 5:04:14 AM: Master bought me a shock collar the other day and I was very afarid to try it, I was actually terrified. I could only imagine how bad it would be and how much it would hurt. When he first put it on me I was worried but my thought was to just not do anything wrong to deserve a shock, and the plan worked, I wore it for about a half a day and then we went to bed (I also wore it to bed), but in the morning I looked at the post I had written and checked peoples responces, one suggested I look up on youtube and view videos. A good suggestion and I did so. Master watched some with me and also watched me sink in to slight depression. Then he asked me what was wrong and I told him. He told me to take off the collar that I didnt deserve to wear it with the attitude I had. I then thought about it and suggested he shock me with it, I figured the fear of not knowing what it would feel like was hurting me more than actully being shocked. Master shocked me and once I felt it I asked if I could once again wear the collar, he said yes and i've happily worn it since. It has improved my behavior and obedience not to mention made me a much happier slave and brought me much closer to Master. I love my collar and thanks to Master I now get to wear it out of the house as well as in.There was one instance when we went out (before he made it so i could wear it outside) when I found out that my behavior went right back when the collar was off. Once we got home and the collar was put back on all was well again, but I'm really hoping with time the collar will just be for Masters amusment and I wont need it to keep me behaving. For right now though i'm very happy with me collar and I have learned that I need and want to trust Master and keep making him happy to have me as his slave.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 6:15:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists quote: ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos No one on here is in our relationship and see's everything that goes on. Nope... they don't.... But, they don't have too.... I suggest people go read this book.. and they will appreciate even more why they don't have too.. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blink_(book) It's a very interesting read.... of course this book will not help your relationship.. but it will help you to appreciate why people make the judgements they are of you and barbarian... without knowing you in detail. As I said... they don't have too.. and they can be extremely accurate in their judgement. There is one section of the book that talks about judging the success of relationships... it is very interesting and was an eye opener for me. I agree, that is an excellent book. Sounds like an interesting concept, but, more to understand the snap judgement people can make and stay with it despite evidence to the contrary? After the responses on the forum, my comment to Jodi is how much like cattle people can be once they start all moving in a given direction, but that's not exactly the same topic I suppose. I fully expect an attempt would have been made to Lynch me if the oppertunity has arisen. From MIB: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it. Think: Why Crucial Decisions Can't Be Made in the Blink of an Eye is a book by editor and journalist Michael R. LeGault, released in January 2006. Think claims to refute Blink, the best-selling 2005 book by Malcolm Gladwell. It argues that America and the West are in decline because of an intellectual crisis. Think contends that blink-like snap judgments are the cause of major failures such as the Hurricane Katrina response. Michael LeGault maintains that relying on emotion and instinct instead of reason and facts is ultimately a threat to our freedom and way of life. [edit] Criticism Think has been criticized as a book that actually encourages the opposite of thinking and plays fast and loose with the facts. [1] "Since marketing a mud-wrestling match is an easy way to promote a book, and thus is probably the only true reason this book got written..." [edit] Praise "[LeGault's] analysis is frequently erudite, his sources and examples on point, and arguments logical, lucid and sometimes even funny." (Douglas Johnston, Winnipeg Free Press, Feb. 5, 2006) "Think! [has] emerged as a much more strategically important study than Blink...Think effectively dispels Gladwell's pop-art notion, but goes further to highlight the signs of decline in critical thinking in the United States and the Western World...the book is essential reading." (Greg Copley, editor-in-chief, Defense and Foreign Affairs Publishing Group, Jan., 2006)

Grlwithboy -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 6:22:47 PM)
The irony here is killing me. The only justification a lot of your decision making seems to get is "well that's me." Hardly critical thinking at its finest, no matter who you are.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 6:28:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy The irony here is killing me. The only justification a lot of your decision making seems to get is "well that's me." Hardly critical thinking at its finest, no matter who you are. Well I can't very well change what I want, but I can change what I do about it. What exactly would I want to change in terms of what I do? What if my harsh demands are what comes naturally for me and that's that? I heard my great, great grandfather was a country doctor with the reputation for being strict to the point of being cruel. Maybe it's genetic.

AquaticSub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 7:49:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy The irony here is killing me. The only justification a lot of your decision making seems to get is "well that's me." Hardly critical thinking at its finest, no matter who you are. Well I can't very well change what I want, but I can change what I do about it. What exactly would I want to change in terms of what I do? What if my harsh demands are what comes naturally for me and that's that? I heard my great, great grandfather was a country doctor with the reputation for being strict to the point of being cruel. Maybe it's genetic. So what? Genetics aren't an excuse, you make the choices.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 8:10:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian quote: ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy The irony here is killing me. The only justification a lot of your decision making seems to get is "well that's me." Hardly critical thinking at its finest, no matter who you are. Well I can't very well change what I want, but I can change what I do about it. What exactly would I want to change in terms of what I do? What if my harsh demands are what comes naturally for me and that's that? I heard my great, great grandfather was a country doctor with the reputation for being strict to the point of being cruel. Maybe it's genetic. So what? Genetics aren't an excuse, you make the choices. Actually studies prove that 70% of a person's personality is genetic, 30% is shaped by the environment. So I 70% don't have a choice, and the 30% that is left is still giving you the finger lol

AquaticSub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/13/2007 9:12:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian Actually studies prove that 70% of a person's personality is genetic, 30% is shaped by the environment. So I 70% don't have a choice, and the 30% that is left is still giving you the finger lol Since you are well-aware that being a cruel hardass runs in your family, you have the choice of continuing to inflict yourself upon society. Personally, I think you just using it as a convienent excuse, but as with all personality disorders and genetic issues, you must take responsibility for your actions and no excuses or pardons will be made because of them.

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