RE: Being loyal to your word

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angelic -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 7:00:26 PM)
~fast reply to no one in particular~ i wonder if anyone else is wondering if these 15 pages are merely feeding a narcissist?

AquaticSub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 7:03:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub Think of it like training a dog or a horse. Ever seen the show "It's me or the dog"? 9 times of 10 the dog's bad behavior, even biting, is because of the owner. People are alot more complicated than dogs and horses. Yes and no. But still, when your slave misbehaves it is probably wise to look to your own behavior first. You are still training an animal, no matter how intelligent a human being is we are still an animal and quite trainable. One simply has to use the correct methods for the situation.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 7:22:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelic ~fast reply to no one in particular~ i wonder if anyone else is wondering if these 15 pages are merely feeding a narcissist? Nope, I've got other vices but not that one.

heartfeltsub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 7:26:56 PM)
There are some very good words of wisdom in this thread that might be helpful to you, if you sincerely want some help. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1126802/tm.htm The thread is about how do you exert power over your slave. heartfelt

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 7:44:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub There are some very good words of wisdom in this thread that might be helpful to you, if you sincerely want some help. http://www.collarchat.com/m_1126802/tm.htm The thread is about how do you exert power over your slave. heartfelt Hey that's pretty cool, I'm giving it a look now. For all the tomato throwing from earlier (in general, noone in particular), remember, it can be hardest to see somthing clearly when you're too close to it.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 9:06:46 PM)
Epilogue: This is from a conversation with my slave, editing her responses out. To those who think their time was misused, regardless of how it happened, you helped a M/s couple grow just as I said encouragingly before. In this, I admit some mistakes I made and weaknesses I struggle against. In my 8 years since starting in this as a lifestyle, I've aquired some baggage. I hope that in the course of this thread, I learned to shed just a little bit more. Well, after exploring my thoughts and fears on the forum for awhile, and just generally second guessing myself and feeling powerless and futile all week, I decided I'm better off just taking the risk that if you're meant to be my slave I'd better treat you like it or else I'll lose you for sure anyway due to becoming timid and despondant about everything. Charles: Kind of like how I didn't back off when you acted up when we first met, and I took the risk that slapping you might send you back out the door. I knew if I didn't, we'd both lose out for sure. Charles: Only this time I had all these flash backs and reflections to deal with, but it's done now. Charles: Me too. In trying to preserve what I had, I might have lost what I had out of trying to preserve it, ironic though it seems. I guess alot of things are like that though. When you fear losing somthing, and try the hardest to keep it, is when you are most likely to have the opposite effect. Charles: But look here: Charles: (in reply to heartfeltsub) Post #: 305 Charles: Over 300 posts total. Charles: I don't think it was really right, or reasonable, and it was kind of cowardly of me, but one, not the only, but one of the reasons I put that thread up there is so you'd have to face what you'd done and in the public you've been afraid to face for so long, and tarnish that reputation you feel is nessecary for you to be able to move on as a slave if we didn't work out. I guess part of it was that I was sabotaging your way out, since I was afraid I might lose you. I'm not saying it was right, I'm just admitting somthing. Telling you it wasn't ok and just caning you would have been more of a service to you, as it's honest, and to the point. What I did wasn't entirely honerable, and as I see that now, I'm sorry I didn't have more courage at the time and I plan to do better as of now. Charles: It was also a little like that brank, the public humiliation gag a wife might have been led around by in medevil days if she wasn't polite or well behaved. Charles: So I had a few motivations. I also wanted answers for myself, and that seemed like a way to do everything at once. Charles: Yeah, well after 300+ posts I'm glad I figured somthing out

AquaticSub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 9:28:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian Charles: I don't think it was really right, or reasonable, and it was kind of cowardly of me, but one, not the only, but one of the reasons I put that thread up there is so you'd have to face what you'd done and in the public you've been afraid to face for so long, and tarnish that reputation you feel is nessecary for you to be able to move on as a slave if we didn't work out. I guess part of it was that I was sabotaging your way out, since I was afraid I might lose you. I'm not saying it was right, I'm just admitting somthing. Telling you it wasn't ok and just caning you would have been more of a service to you, as it's honest, and to the point. What I did wasn't entirely honerable, and as I see that now, I'm sorry I didn't have more courage at the time and I plan to do better as of now. I hope you realize this has also tarnished your reputation as an owner. But being able to admit your shortcomings is a good step to overcoming them. I hope for both of your sakes that you are not so petty in the future. If you don't work out, there is as good of a chance that you left her and trying to ruin her chances of moving on in that case is just.. well... I'm not even going to go there. Frankly, I think if is thread has done anything it has only hurt your reputation and not that of your slave.

akbarbarian -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/11/2007 9:34:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AquaticSub I hope you realize this has also tarnished your reputation as an owner. Good thing I'm not a Narcissist [;)]

daddyscherry -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 12:10:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: akbarbarian I was rather perturbed to hear about this myself when I first heard it on the 4th. I am not keen on threats, manipulation, and guilt trips being used to control someone. Apparently she was given this big song and dance about "How would you feel if you were standing at your grandfather's grave and you knew you could have gone to his last birthday party but didn't". Noone knows when someone will die, but aside from that, this is a very manipulative and cruel thing to say and I have less desire to respect the wishes or someone who would say such a thing. This was said Wednesday, not today. Why would she even say somthing like that? In any case, she's seen him plenty before the party, surely will afterwards, and aside from that this is the party day not the actual calendar birthday. Maybe i am a little skewed on this because my Grandmother died this year BUT, as with alot of families, messages about times and stuff can get lost in the shuffle and it doesn't seem like she did the whole thing on purpose to disobey without a thought as a F U to you. You said she was close to her grandpa and lived with him until recently and stuff....that's a big thing. Also, just a side note my Master/Daddy and i were moving across country from where my family is and he made me stay down there longer. The reason? Partially it was for me, and ultimately benefitted me BUT he knew that my Grandma didn't have a really long tme (no one realized it would be SO short though) and he said rather than having it come back on him in resentment and stuff later on he was making me stay. He was partially being selfish and also wise enough and kind enough to know that it woulda fukt me up royal if something had happened and i had not been aroung to see her more. This would've ultimately caused issues with us that would've been near to impossible to rectify. So, think of that (if you choose to) and think if it's really worth it to make a big deal out of it considering a) it wasn't like she wanted to go hang out with some random friend. b)Especially when it's an older and close family member like that you do "never know" c) Would you want her to resent you for making her leave a birthday party for her grandpa and find out it was his last? Is it really worth it?

heartfeltsub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 4:53:09 AM)
Shaking my head, thinking nothing really has been learned, especially given a statement made by the OP in another thread about using a shock collar to make jodi agree, but then there are none so blind as those that will not see. heartfelt

fadedlace -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 5:28:22 AM)
edit because I realized I erroneously posted as a response to heartfeltsub - it was not meant as a reply to your particular post. I've been following this thread, and quite honestly, am just glad none of my lifestyle partners had chosen to behave in the manner of the OP. Square peg, round hole; round peg, square hole...either way, forcing it won't make it fit. Never been one to desire public "humiliation" in an online forum to a whole lot of strangers by one I served, either. This one sentence: "one of the reasons I put that thread up there is so you'd have to face what you'd done and in the public you've been afraid to face for so long, and tarnish that reputation you feel is nessecary for you to be able to move on as a slave if we didn't work out." - that screams immaturity to me, and is very undesirable in one who's supposed to hold the control. As always, just my viewpoint. Take it or toss it.

heartfeltsub -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 5:30:10 AM)
Don't worry Faded, it backfired anyway, as Aquatic said, the only reputation that got tarnished by this thread was his own, at least that is the general consensus that i have picked up from the responses to the OP. heartfelt

fadedlace -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 5:34:09 AM)
Very true...I hope time and experience and recognizing mistakes the OP's made, will help him eventually mature. I know I learned a lot over the years from mistakes. (Make them once, fine, mistakes happen, no harm no foul as long as nobody is harmed...make them twice, shame on me for not learning the first time.)

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 7:41:39 AM)
Well Jodi isn't platinum in all this either- she's making the choices to be with him and continue to deal with this and I think she contributed somewhat to the problem as well. But THIS is what really makes me think the OP hasn't learned anything, still doesn't want to learn anything and this will continue down the path exactly as it has: I decided I'm better off just taking the risk that if you're meant to be my slave I'd better treat you like it or else I'll lose you for sure anyway due to becoming timid and despondant about everything. I still wonder why they are IMing eachother when they live together?

mistoferin -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 7:57:07 AM)
This thread should come with a warning label. "Danger! Reading this thread may cause your head to explode!"

KnightofMists -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 11:05:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Well Jodi isn't platinum in all this either- she's making the choices to be with him and continue to deal with this and I think she contributed somewhat to the problem as well. But THIS is what really makes me think the OP hasn't learned anything, still doesn't want to learn anything and this will continue down the path exactly as it has: I decided I'm better off just taking the risk that if you're meant to be my slave I'd better treat you like it or else I'll lose you for sure anyway due to becoming timid and despondant about everything. I still wonder why they are IMing eachother when they live together? Frankly this couple reminds me of that couple that was in the New Orleans area that was on the boards some time ago. They deserved each other.

slaveofKaos -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 12:06:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross Well Jodi isn't platinum in all this either- she's making the choices to be with him and continue to deal with this and I think she contributed somewhat to the problem as well. But THIS is what really makes me think the OP hasn't learned anything, still doesn't want to learn anything and this will continue down the path exactly as it has: I decided I'm better off just taking the risk that if you're meant to be my slave I'd better treat you like it or else I'll lose you for sure anyway due to becoming timid and despondant about everything. I still wonder why they are IMing eachother when they live together? Well we were IMing because we werent together,meaning not in the same house. Hence the need for IMing. We obviously dont IM each other when were together, why would we when we can just talk.

CreativeDominant -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 12:20:32 PM)
[:@] quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin This thread should come with a warning label. "Danger! Reading this thread may cause your head to explode!" Is THAT what's going on inside me? [:@]

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 12:24:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveofKaos Well we were IMing because we werent together,meaning not in the same house. Hence the need for IMing. We obviously dont IM each other when were together, why would we when we can just talk. Well here's a tip- don't have serious relationship conversations in IMs, specially when you can do it in person at home together.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Being loyal to your word (7/12/2007 12:31:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists Frankly this couple reminds me of that couple that was in the New Orleans area that was on the boards some time ago. They deserved each other. SirSix72 and Belladonna, yeah wow. They worked far harder at proving how cool they were and defending eachother though.

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