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stella40 -> RE: cross-dressing (7/16/2007 11:50:41 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DSwriter
The "inquisition" you feel i've put you under is nothing compared to what goes on out in the real world for transsexuals. Was just curious to hear why you think you are a female.
Yeah, well DSwriter, maybe the reason why I don't have too many problems out in the 'real' world (and yes, I do live in the REAL world) is because I AM female and a GENUINE transsexual.
But I'm glad you touched on the point of 'something very serious, into a realm where there more broken bodies and destroyed families than there are happy endings'.
But this isn't just because that those who claim to be transsexuals and female later find out that they're not and abandon their transition, and it isn't just because of the minority - and yes, it really is a minority of transsexuals - who regret going through the whole gender reassignment process.
But it's also down to prejudice, predominantly out of ignorance, from people not knowing enough about or understanding the mindset of the transsexual. It comes from people seeing what they perceive to be a man 'trying to be a woman', it comes from thinking that person is mentally ill or emotionally disturbed, and much of the prejudice comes from people believing that the transsexual is 'choosing' to become a member of 'the opposite sex'. Some have prejudices because of religious beliefs. To many in society a man has a penis, a woman has a vagina, and they simply see things as being black and white.
And quite a lot of this prejudice comes from those who claim to have expert knowledge, whether it be from the Internet (quite often the 'basis' of their knowledge are the pornographic transsexual or 'chicks with dicks' websites), from knowing or contact with other transsexuals, or through going through a phase of thinking themselves to be a transsexual. It doesn't matter, because these people feel that, because they have something to compare someone else with, that they have 'better knowledge' and they assume that they know better than the person they're talking about, when in actual fact they don't. They quite often base their assumptions, and their arguments, on the appearance of the other person, and their life history, they draw their own conclusions and feel that they know better than that other person, despite not knowing much about the other person. They also have this mistaken belief that their opinion for some reason carries more weight than that of the person they're referring to.
It's very easy to attack a transsexual and accuse them of being deluded or thinking that they're not who they say they are because gender dysphoria doesn't have any physical symptoms, and it isn't easy to establish whether someone has gender dysphoria or not, which is what makes the whole process of gender reassignment so difficult and challenging. But the simple fact is that unless you have a very real and intimate knowledge of that person you do not know, and cannot say.
And it is precisely these prejudices, and a refusal to overcome these prejudices, from other people, which makes life so difficult and challenging for the transsexual, especially the pre-operative transsexual who is working to reestablish herself in her new identity in the outside world, to go through the gender reassignment process, and to make something of her life. This can be a vulnerable stage, especially in the earlier stages of gender reassignment.
Usually this is a very vulnerable stage because the hardest stage of the whole gender reassignment process is the coming out and the establishment of oneself in one's true gender and yes there are casualties - broken relationships, broken family ties, broken friendships, the loss of employment, the ending of careers, and even the loss of one's home, not to mention the estrangement from one's children. It isn't guaranteed that everyone will accept you in your new identity, irrespective of how long they have known you, and for most transsexuals it's the emotional loss and separations which ensue from coming out which becomes the most painful and difficult of the whole gender reassignment process. It leaves victims on both sides, not because people are out to deceive or hurt one another, but because the reinforcement of gender stereotypes is so strong that people can often feel deceived when that person they know to be Paul suddenly decides to become Paula.
However out in the real world the majority of people aren't really all that bothered, because people see you for who you are, how you present yourself and how you come across. The only people who are really that bothered are the people who have the prejudices but these are in the minority and you can pretty much live without them. Most people aren't that bothered, and some are even supportive and go out of their way to be helpful.
So DSwriter there's no need to preach to me how it is in the real world, I know how it is in the real world, and yes, I've been around the block a few times. Those that know me, my friends, the people I work with, my family, my Domme, my neighbours, and the many people I interact with don't really have an issue with me or my mindset, and neither do my doctors, the medical professions and my consultant who know my whole medical history and who strongly support me for gender reassignment.
Now can we please get back to the original subject of this thread which is about 'crossdressing'?
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