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RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 12:37:47 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petal7

Flames don't bother me or I wouldn't read forums. I'm actually amused that so many people are offended by a "question." I still don't get the point of having separate forums if everyone posts in them, but the thread has been good for some laughs. My predictions about certain people I knew would follow me to this thread have been confirmed. LOL

Actually, people weren't offended by the question.

The question seemed to be "why do dominants post in the Ask a Submissive/Slave forum?" That's valid and has been asked and answered before.

What people are NOT so accepting of is your claims that just because they do, they must be somehow desperate and out of control of their "urges to be heard."

And just to go a step further, believe it or not, some dominants actually have thinking submissives and slaves. They actually TALK to those slaves and even more amazing, LISTEN to what their slaves say regarding how they feel about things in their lives. They actually interact with the people they own and have formed opinions that are just as valid as their submissives/slaves' when it comes to answering questions that are posted in the "Ask a Submissive/Slave" forum.

Personally, I find it amusing that somehow, this is all about you. Of COURSE you weren't rude in how you stated an otherwise valid question. It's all about you. Of COURSE people who found your comments to be offensive are just following you around. Because it's all about YOU. You evidently are the arbiter of who posts where, and when and on what topic and anyone who doesn't do as you see fit must somehow be so very lacking. It must be an amazing thing to be so endowed.

But hey, of course, you knew that too.

juliet

< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/11/2007 12:40:52 AM >

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 41

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 4:36:42 AM

SubinMaine

Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petal7

Flames don't bother me or I wouldn't read forums. I'm actually amused that so many people are offended by a "question." I still don't get the point of having separate forums if everyone posts in them, but the thread has been good for some laughs. My predictions about certain people I knew would follow me to this thread have been confirmed. LOL

What i'm finding difficult to understand is why the OP is having such a hard time admitting that the "urges" comment was rude and uncalled for? While the original question was valid (and has been answered many times over), it does not excuse the fact that the "urges" summation was, in fact, unnecessarily rude. This, coupled with the above quote, only strengthens my belief that the comment was intended to be rude.

It's my opinion (and it's ONLY an opinion) that no one was offended by the original question at all. And it would seem that a simple "Gee, i'm sorry i offended anyone, maybe my comment could have been worded a bit better" would have been a bit more appropriate than the "fluff it off as my knowing this would be the reaction from certain posters that want to follow me around so i feel my actions are justified due to my "predictions" about these posters."

OP, was your first comment (not question, COMMENT) a "test" of your theory regarding certain posters and their need to follow you around or, was your second post your way of backpeddling to negate any personal responsibility for the comment? If it WAS a test, tell me, how was it helpful for anyone, yourself included?

(sarcasm) Sir's always thinking, always trying to contribute, genuinely curious, obviously desperate sub (/sarcasm)

b

"The strongest test of a person's character is their ability to humbly admit their mistakes and their actions to correct them" - me

_____________________________

That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 42

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 7:23:45 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petal7
Flames don't bother me or I wouldn't read forums. I'm actually amused that so many people are offended by a "question." I still don't get the point of having separate forums if everyone posts in them, but the thread has been good for some laughs. My predictions about certain people I knew would follow me to this thread have been confirmed. LOL

The separate forums are to help focus the questions- not the answers.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 43

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 11:27:40 AM

imthatacheyouhav

Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: petal7
Flames don't bother me or I wouldn't read forums. I'm actually amused that so many people are offended by a "question." I still don't get the point of having separate forums if everyone posts in them, but the thread has been good for some laughs. My predictions about certain people I knew would follow me to this thread have been confirmed. LOL

The separate forums are to help focus the questions- not the answers.

Good point LA....

_____________________________

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 44

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 12:27:44 PM

petal7

Posts: 28
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorEleven

Thank you for your concern, but if we have a problem with where people are posting we'll deal with it. If we don't, then you certainly have no reason to.

XI

What's funny is that it wasn't a directive to do or not do something - it was a question of "why" is it this way. And then a "Is it because of this . ." The last time I checked, "why" questions were allowed. But I do understand the motivation for some people to not want 'why' questions asked. It's similar to the reason that some churches don't allow 'why' . . . because their belief system cannot be defended. I thought it was different here and with some it is, with some it isn't -- but that's what makes us all different.

A simple, "Not always - sometimes it's X, Y or Z" would have been one choice for an answer. Instead some looked at the question, got offended and immediately began a personal attack. The original question was not directed at any individual, but the general public as an inquiry. But it seems that some may have seen themselves in my hypothesis and didn't like it. That's okay. I don't necessarily like everything about myself, I just don't feel the urge to flame other people over it. I choose to change it or live with the situation.

As for my "prediction" - yes. The reason it's amusing to me is that I rarely post anything . . . but the one time I asked in a post basically why we had to target individuals in our answers rather than actually trying to help (i.e. can't we all just get along), I was accused of being judgemental. Well, that's okay too . . . if someone feels judged by the words of a complete stranger, there is little I can do about that.

I won't apologize for the way my message was taken. I tried that and I was flamed again so that tactic doesn't work here.

There were some valid points made in this thread and I've taken those into consideration and given them the weight I see they merit FOR ME (no one else has to share my view and vice versa).

Anyway -- I'm done . . . if people still feel the urge to beat this dead horse, be my guest. Do try to have a pleasant day.

-- petal

(in reply to ModeratorEleven)

Post #: 45

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 12:30:31 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Well it is rare we get to see such devoted passive aggressive material on the boards anymore, so it's nice to see a good example.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 46

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 12:38:16 PM

SubinMaine

Posts: 1888
Joined: 1/7/2006
Status: offline

*squinting*...still seeing nothing even REMOTELY acknowledging that the "urge"/"desperate" comment (which basically cast everyone who cross posts in a very negative light ) was not meant to be rude...

hmmmm....

*kickin' that dead horse* (not really, i LOVE horses *wink*)

_____________________________

That which yields is not always weak...

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 47

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 12:42:42 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

He doesn't post, he isn't even a member here. But after four years I can tell you what he thinks on certain subjects and of course I can tell what he does in similar situations.

In general there are more fem subs on the forums than male doms, so if we didn't answer there would be responses from the same half dozen doms who do usually post.

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 48

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 12:45:30 PM

MistressNoName

Posts: 664
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petal7

post replies in the "Ask a submissive" forum? I haven't been to the "Ask a Master" forum to be honest, but I'm going to guess that a lot of submissives answer questions there as well. If someone wants to hear from both sides, it seems that they would post in the general forum or even cross post in both forums as I've seen mentioned if they want to truly separate the opinions. Is the urge to be heard that desperate that people can't control themselves from answering questions not directed toward them?

Just curious.

-- Master's petal

If I post a question on the "...Master" board, I'm doing so because I have a question or comment specifically related to this group and/or the male/female, male/female M/s dynamic. And I might primarily like to hear from a male Master, but I might also benefit from hearing from people from all perspectives.

But my question to you is, did you only want submissives to answer this questions? If so, why would you want submissives to respond to a question about Doms? Why not ask us directly?

MNN

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 49

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 2:25:32 PM

BOYextremSLAVE

Posts: 6
Joined: 7/7/2007
From: Serbia
Status: offline

i don't know :)

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 50

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 2:40:48 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

a problem with where people are posting we'll deal with it. If we don't, then you certainly have

quote:

ORIGINAL: petal7

Flames don't bother me or I wouldn't read forums. I'm actually amused that so many people are offended by a "question." I still don't get the point of having separate forums if everyone posts in them, but the thread has been good for some laughs. My predictions about certain people I knew would follow me to this thread have been confirmed. LOL

Nobody is offended. And if you don't get the point of seperate forums, let me expain it to you again: If you ask a question, say about performing sex in the ask a sub forum, then you interested in how a submissive feels about performing oral sex.

But let's say somebody posts about oral in the ask a sub forum and they ask if a sub would let them insult a knife in their vagina afterward. A bunch of subs go "No way, that's too dangerous". The OP dismisses them as bad subs. Some d-types come on and explain that they would never do that, nor would they want a woman who would let them do it.

Basically, you get more prospective by getting all the points of view. And, as the TOS says when you joined, all cross-posts will be deleted.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 51

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 2:42:54 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Petal, if you think this is flaming, you need to get off the net. This is being called on what you said.

Collarme is not a safe place where people get wrapped up in cotten. You were rude with your "urges" comment. Deal with it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/11/2007 2:43:24 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 52

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 3:11:53 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
Status: offline

I declare the rest of this thread for posting by members approved by me.

You may send applications, but please be sure to have the $5 application proccessing fee ready to be mailed by Pay Pal.

Anyone who posts here without approval will have to suffer threw me starting a new thread about the issue of people posting in places I dont like, despite the fact that no one cares.

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(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 53

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 4:34:20 PM

SardonicAss

Posts: 32
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Petal, if you think this is flaming, you need to get off the net. This is being called on what you said.

Collarme is not a safe place where people get wrapped up in cotten. You were rude with your "urges" comment. Deal with it.

Yeah. . .I'm going to have to go ahead and sort of. . . disagree with you there.

You don't know her question was intended to be rude. You simply took it that way. And that's on you and anyone else who took some imagined offense at her words. The rational, intelligent thing to do would be to ask if her intent was to offend. To which she surely would have replied 'no.' Instead, most here attacked her for her 'perceived' insult on their honor or whatever without ever taking a moment to wonder if a stranger posting on a message board was trying to insult people she didn't know.

In this case, petal saw something that stirred her curiousity and, being relatively new to the forums here, thought she would ask about it. If any took offense at her question or her suggesting a possible answer, that's on YOU, not her. As you all can plainly see I'm a Dominant....oh and look, I'm posting in a sub/slave forum. But guess what...in my case it's not only "because I can," it's almost CERTAINLY because of my "urge to be heard."

Effective communication is all about the intended message vs. the message received. Apparently many of you 'received' what you thought was an attack. I don't agree, and I have posted in the sub/slave rooms at least once long before petal got the idea to post this question. I'm not insulted in the least. She had a question, she asked it, she offered a possible answer to her own question. If you don't agree with that offering, by all means, offer your own. But if you feel 'attacked' about her statement, that's on you. Not her.

This thread is not about petal being called on what she said. As a matter of fact, she never "said" anything. She didn't make a statement, she asked a question. If you can point out a statement in her post, then you need to re-read it. It's filled with question marks.

It's like if I were to ask a person who wrote "insult a knife in their vagina" instead of "insert a knife in their vagina". . . Are you so stupid that you don't know the difference between insult and insert? See? I didn't SAY they were stupid. How would I know? I don't know them. I can, however ask my question, to which I'm almost sure the answer would be something like "nope, just typoed." And there you go. There was no attack, only a question that was answered. And we move on.

That is all petal did. She asked a question. If you can take offense from a question, perhaps it's you who should leave the net. Otherwise the truly curious among us might actually ask a question you either don't want to answer or that describes you perfectly, causing you great stress and anger. And that's just not good for healthy living.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 54

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 4:57:24 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

What people are NOT so accepting of is your claims that just because they do, they must be somehow desperate and out of control of their "urges to be heard."

juliet

yes such a valid question..... and then points to the bandwagon that everyone is suppose to jump on. Her post is not so much a question as it's an answer she wants everyone else to say she is right.

Of course... this is from someone that has urges to be heard and can't control myself. I post everyone and anywhere about anthing and everything.. oh man.. I need therapy

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 55

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 5:04:36 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petal7

Flames don't bother me or I wouldn't read forums. I'm actually amused that so many people are offended by a "question." I still don't get the point of having separate forums if everyone posts in them, but the thread has been good for some laughs. My predictions about certain people I knew would follow me to this thread have been confirmed. LOL

mmmmmmm you related to kevin?

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to petal7)

Post #: 56

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 5:04:55 PM

SardonicAss

Posts: 32
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

What people are NOT so accepting of is your claims that just because they do, they must be somehow desperate and out of control of their "urges to be heard."

juliet

yes such a valid question..... and then points to the bandwagon that everyone is suppose to jump on. Her post is not so much a question as it's an answer she wants everyone else to say she is right.

Of course... this is from someone that has urges to be heard and can't control myself. I post everyone and anywhere about anthing and everything.. oh man.. I need therapy

Actually this is, again, a perception issue. You see I know petal. I OWN petal. And I can say with certainty that is not what she's doing. When she offers me a suggested response, 99% of the time, she wants me to DISagree with it. Either to prove her wrong or to start some type of meaningful dialogue.

(in reply to KnightofMists)

Post #: 57

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 5:10:37 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SardonicAss
Actually this is, again, a perception issue. You see I know petal. I OWN petal. And I can say with certainty that is not what she's doing. When she offers me a suggested response, 99% of the time, she wants me to DISagree with it. Either to prove her wrong or to start some type of meaningful dialogue.

LMAO... a percpetion issue... no.. I think it's a communication issue. And if she actually want's to have meaningful dialogue.. well she should start to have Meaningful dialogue in the first place.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SardonicAss)

Post #: 58

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 5:14:01 PM

instynctive

Posts: 2726
Status: offline

Well, I'm a Dom, so I'll post anywhere I darn well please and all those before Me will kneel and grovel at My impressiveness.

(Yes, this is VERY tongue-in-cheek... LOL)

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(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 59

RE: Why do so many Doms - 7/11/2007 5:17:07 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

The question was not rude. I did not say the question was rude.
"Is the urge to be heard that desperate that people can't control themselves from answering questions not directed toward them? " is rude.

What is the point of asking a question when she already assumes the worst and thinks she has been flamed when people point out she is rude?

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/11/2007 5:19:22 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SardonicAss)

Post #: 60

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