PairOfDimes
Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline
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Perhaps the activity was really fun, and you were getting off on yourself and the actions, but not on the person in particular. Then, post-orgasm, when you were cooling down and not focusing on activities any longer, your lack of attraction to the person ceased to be masked by the fun activities and your own energy. I don't think there's anything irresponsible or wrong about this approach, especially if you don't lie about it and say that this is an expression of your love for the person (although, out of kindness, you probably shouldn't tell the person that they're a convenient and willing and satisfied canvas--even if that's true and you both know it, it's not very nice to say it.) So, it's not a bad thing to do, but if not being attracted to the person is disruptive emotionally to you (as it seems it is) I don't think you should play together again.
I notice in your subsequent posts that this is an ongoing playmate, and you've felt attraction previously. Could it be some thing he did--or didn't do--that day? A scent, a grooming detail, a posture, a phrase--something small, but important? Could you have been feeling badly for other reasons? Might you have just been tired? I know I've thought a scene was going really horribly toward the end, because it was three in the bloody morning and I seem to have missed the night owl gene that apparently goes with being publicly kinky.
Maybe, too, the thing to do is to give yourself a little bit of time (whatever that means for you) not worry about it, and then see if you feel at all interested in getting together with this person again. If you are, get together (assuming he's interested--which it seems like he would be), do things that you find fun, and see if this happens again. It might have just been a fluke. If it does happen again, however, I think you might want to examine it very carefully, perhaps talking with him. It's worth mentioning that if you're uncomfortable expressing strong emotions in most situations, you could say that you're feeling unwell or tired.
However, if you think that your attraction has run its course, and if you're not at all interested in playing again, then there's nothing wrong with not playing with people, even if you've had satisfying play with them before. Many relationships serve a need for a period of time and then either the relationship stops serving the need or the need changes and the relationship doesn't fit it. (Some people, too, have unattractive traits that emerge over time, although that's a different thread.) The key is, as you said, to end casual relationships gracefully and kindly--and, I think, to recognize that your playmate might not be happy about it, even though it's a legitimate thing to do. How to tell him so while being kind? Lots of options--I'm not really familiar with your particular situation, so some might not fit. If you have multiple playmates, you could say that you had fun and you're getting a lot of the things you got from your scene with him with others, so while he was unique initially, it's not very interesting to play with him anymore. Or, your desires have changed. Since it's a longer thing, you could simply say that you like him, and you feel like you've run your course with one another and that it's time to move on. This is a honest and kind way to say things--throw in a compliment or two if you don't expect him to argue with you. (Note the lack of "but" in that sentence--it's deliberate.) You could do the "running low on time" excuse, too--few people believe it after a relationship has gone on for a while, especially if you're going to see one another socially afterward, but it's face-saving for everyone involved.
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RE: Domme drop/Dismissal - 
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