girl would like to ask a Question. (Full Version)

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mousiemae10126 -> girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 7:51:24 PM)



The Dom. that girl is Owned by States That Since girl Had To Have a Major Life Threatening Breast Surgery That Has Had Several Complications And Has Been a Challenge to The Medical Profession that girl Is NOT THE ONE That He Wishes To Be The Master Or Dom Of.

girl Has given Up the Home that she Owned & Has Moved Over a Thousand Miles One Way from all That she Knew & from every Person that she Knew Or Was in any way Familiar With.

In Service to Master she has Given Her utmost Complete All At All Times.

Master Had Collared girl & Has Now Requested that girl Remove HIS Collar.

girl has No Where else that she can go & Master Wishes girl No Ill Or harm.
Master Has Grasiously Allowed girl To Remain in His Residence Until; Such time as girl May Find a Safe Alternative Solution.

Is There Any One In The Lifestyle Who might Offer a Safe & Reasonable Solution to girl That Would Take Into Consideration that girl is Still on the Medical Mend?




siamsa24 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 7:53:33 PM)

Not to ask a stupid question, but I can't figure out what you are trying to ask. Are you looking for a roommate?



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 7:56:33 PM)

Yes she is essentially looking for a roommate after supposedly being released because she's got a lot of health issues including surgery for breast cancer.

My guess is the situation's a lot more complicated than that, but yes the looking for a roommate is the basic jist of the question.



siamsa24 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 7:57:35 PM)

Ok, got it. I thought so, but I thought that I would ask just to make sure.
Thanks



mousiemae10126 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 8:02:49 PM)

girl is New to CM Forum< However Thank You For At the Very Least Asking if that Were girl's Question.

girl is Not Vanilla, And a Roomate Although Maybe a Great Suggestion Is Not Quite The Answer girl Was Seeking.
girl wonders if A Medical Issue Such As breast Cancer Or Something Of Such a Nature Is An Appropriate Reason For a Dom Or a Master to Un Collar a subservient submissive.
I Do Suppose that is More the Sort Of Way that girl Should have ask or Phrased the Q.



siamsa24 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 8:10:10 PM)

Personally, I think it's a horrible idea to uncollar someone due to health problems that are quite beyond their control. I'm sorry that I do not have any kind of specific answer for the issue of finding a roommate. I do believe that there is a site for finding kink friendly roommates, I will see if I can find it for you.



siamsa24 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 8:21:55 PM)

Ok, I found a few sites for seeking "alternative" roommates, not specifically BDSM, but I'm sure with some digging you will find some.

Alt I know they have the option of listing yourself and searching that way, but I have never had good luck with this site.

RoommateRoommateRoommate

Roomie Match


I hope these can help you in your search.



SecretDomme -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 8:25:35 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mousiemae10126

girl is New to CM Forum< However Thank You For At the Very Least Asking if that Were girl's Question.

girl is Not Vanilla, And a Roomate Although Maybe a Great Suggestion Is Not Quite The Answer girl Was Seeking.
girl wonders if A Medical Issue Such As breast Cancer Or Something Of Such a Nature Is An Appropriate Reason For a Dom Or a Master to Un Collar a subservient submissive.
I Do Suppose that is More the Sort Of Way that girl Should have ask or Phrased the Q.


It's not nice for anyone, Dom or not, to turn away someone because of a medical issue like that. Whether it's "appropriate" is something that only he can answer for you, because I am assuming that you knew what he was like and had an understanding of the foundation upon which your relationship was based when you moved to be with him.

I hope you can find someone to help you in your area. I wish you luck and a fast recovery.

Be well,
Julie



wetrope -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 9:55:22 PM)

That is unbelievable, sounds like your mister master is a real low life, looking for only the good times, too bad he cant take a little of the bad with the good uv given him.

Best move on and look after yourself cus he obviously is only interested in his #1 interest.

Wish i was closer so i could swat him for you!!!



Rascalyrabbit -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/19/2005 10:38:01 PM)

I think that you are better off without a master to treat you like that. Take care of yourself and find a REAL master that will be there for you when you need him.



MasterArn -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/20/2005 12:54:39 AM)

to UnCollar your Slave / Submissive at thier most dire moment of need like that, displays a breakdown in Trust; the FIRST and FOREMOST buildingblock in this Lifestyle. without Trust, how can there even be Communication?
i will light a candle for your healthy recovery.
as for your "master", i do believe Wetrope is correct. he was NOT a Master. a Master would have suck by you reguardless of something that is beyond his AND your control. you should shame him, and go find yourself another caretaker when you feel up to partaking in the Lifestyle once more....



EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/20/2005 5:27:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mousiemae10126

girl wonders if A Medical Issue Such As breast Cancer Or Something Of Such a Nature Is An Appropriate Reason For a Dom Or a Master to Un Collar a subservient submissive.
I Do Suppose that is More the Sort Of Way that girl Should have ask or Phrased the Q.

If he feels he is unable to effectively own you due to this reason, then yes, it's much better that he admit it and release you rather than forcing you into a dysfunctional situation.

It's a sucky situation, and one can hope that he made the decision out of true care for everyone in the long term, but much better that he be honest.



kc692 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/20/2005 8:21:30 AM)

Unfortunately, jerks are jerks, so, whether appropriate or not, that is what he did.....you have more important things to worry about at the present than him, my best wishes are with you...



perfection20005 -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/21/2005 3:25:12 PM)

Although I'm not a Master, I don't think it is right for Him to release you just because of your health at the time. I think its awful that he would do that, but it just goes to show you that people can be real a__holes. I'm sorry you have to go through this, and I hope you find someone who can help.

perfection



BeachMystress -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/21/2005 3:41:23 PM)


*hugs* I am so sorry the one you trusted and gave yourself to wasn't worthy of you. It can be hard to find that the ones we have trusted are not the type of person we'd believed them to be. A collar is for good times and bad. In my book, he is neither a Master nor a Dominant, but a user out to have some fun.

You have my thoughts and wishes on your recovery. You might want to look into some self hypnosis or biofeedback methods to help control any pain you might experience. It helped a lot with my sister's cancer. (She's been in remission for 25 years now.)



pandoravampire -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/21/2005 4:04:57 PM)

Im sorry that you are clearly suffering here. But optimistic that you will be released shortly from this wankers hands. Then you can begin to rebuild again.
I must admit i am incredulous that you would ask if this is acceptable or normal behaviour? Why would a slave, accept someone's collar, without first informing themselves of the sorts of acceptable behaviour she can expect from her Master, what each of your roles would be?
From all the This girl That girl milarky, i presume you have learnt enough about slavery along the way to KNOW this is not acceptable behaviour of ANYONE let alone a master.

I simply cannot accept that you do not know this is wrong. Sorry, but i dont believe you. Therefor, you are behaving in a way that is manipulative of the readers of this thread. And prpbably of others you interact with. You have put something in such a way, as to solicit sympathy. Why manipulate? Why not ask for support? We would have to be pretty mean to not feel sympathetic toward such a situation, as you should know. In the time it takes you gather your strengths to move on to something better, try to look at your manipulative behaviour, coz it would annoy the shit out of me.
Honest straightforward communication, that gets to the point, is respectful of others, and does not try to manipulate, is a skill worth having.

If you really do not know if this sort of behaviour is wrong, i apologise profusely, i have misjudged the situation horrendously and in that case, YOU are in danger. You simply lack the capacity to make a informed consent to any BDSM. Therefor, you will only ever attract abusers, as without consent, that is what BDSM is.

For you personally, i wish you a speedy recovery, and a outcome that brings you happiness, whatever that may be. I wish you self worth, self respect, self awareness, courage, pride, dignity and respect of others, you deserve it.

take care of yourself,
pandora



cumslutcockwhore -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/24/2005 7:17:16 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Rascalyrabbit

I think that you are better off without a master to treat you like that. Take care of yourself and find a REAL master that will be there for you when you need him.


If i understand the originalposter....how can she?
no resources and now a huge medical bill?

where was the committment to begin with? up his ass?




MaggieLynn -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/24/2005 8:17:01 AM)

While I found the original post very hard to understand with all the third person speak and the screwy caps and all, I sorta got an idea of the quesstion by the follow up posts.

Speaking as someone who has cancer herself, you can still take care of yourself, even during the recovery process. If you are in an area where you do not know anyone and cannot turn to family or friends for assistance speak to a social worker at the hospital or doctors office where you go for treatment/follow ups. Speak with Cancer support groups in your area as well. You don't have to do the whole "my Master released me" thing... "My boyfriend broke up with me" will do just fine.

To be perfectly honest, I too find it hard to believe that you didn't know the answer to your own question on wether this was acceptable behavior from a Dom/Master. I also get the impression that you are more trying to find a replacement Dom rather than advise on if this was right or wrong or where to look for a room mate situation.

Being "vanilla" or not shouldn't even be registering on your list of priorities right now. Taking care of yourself and finding a place to live should.

Stop speaking in the third person and start looking at things from a practical standpoint of survival.

I don't really mean to sound harsh, I've had cancer since 1992. I know the fight involved and I know the struggles. I've had surgeries, chemo, radiation and just a few short months ago a full stem cell transplant.

The "lifestyle" shouldn't be a concern you're wasting your energy on right now... your "life" is....

edited to add: Another question that springs to mind for me reading this is why do you not know anyone in that area? Why do you not have any friends or any type of support system around you?

Either you have not been there very long, or the man you were with isolated you.

If it's the first, then why can you not turn to those in your "hometown" for help in returning or help with making arrangements to move back? (Travelers Aid in every state I've ever lived in will buy you transportation to go home under this type of situation as long as they have someone at the end destination that states that you will have a place to live once you arrive. They will not put you on a bus/plane with the chance that you are simply wanting to move to a nother city and will be homeless).

If it is the second....that smacks of abuse to me. That is the first thing an abuser does, isolate you from friends/family or any type of support system. If this is the case then it's been going on a while and him "releasing" you really isn't suprising.



Kinkypupper -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/24/2005 10:23:56 AM)

Am very sorry to hear about your problems.

I tend to agree in general with many who have posted here on this subject.

It is easy to call him a "scumbag" but I also know that there are many who want a D/s relationship that has no emotional attachments and is purely "mechanical" in nature.
I myself admit I made that mistake in that after I found one I did "collar" her and then realized that I as a person needed a lot more then just a mechanical D/s relationship. I feel that she and I are good friends but I also know "she" has a hard time accepting my comments as "she" had created an emotional attachment toward me.
( When I met her I was still in the confused state after my last marrage dissolved due to my "level" of kink. So I thought that what I wanted was a non-emotional bond. When in reality that "emotional" attachment is extremely important to me.

I also know however that for one to be "collared" requires a HUGE commitment to each other, For "better or worse" . We all need to remember that "we" are getting into a relationship and commitment to another that predates modern "marrage" and is a LOT more meaningful then a simple legal piece of paper.



FelinePersuasion -> RE: girl would like to ask a Question. (6/24/2005 6:46:32 PM)

Plenty of people don't know lots of people in their area, and they're not new nor are they being abused. I've lived in my home town my whole life, with exception from 13 to 18, I'm not being kept away from people nor am I new here and I don't have any social peer friends in my area. Except my bf.



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