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ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Of course this is just one possibility of why we see these "UM stupid questions"  which I wonder.. are they really that stupid? 

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I've seen quite a few more folks of dubious intelligence offering replies than asking questions. 

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ORIGINAL: Rover

 And in the course of my observations, I've seen quite a few more folks of dubious intelligence offering replies than asking questions. 
 
John

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ORIGINAL: Rover

Questions are neither stupid nor brilliant.  People are.

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ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

I don't know, Knight. My path to BDSM was somewhat anarchic and empirical, somewhat like yours it seems. While my way wasn't based in a mature, cooperative intimate relationship--that came chronologically after "discovering" kink--"finding" BDSM was, for me, a process of realizing that there were words (well, letters) for what I had been doing privately for some time.

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I tend to think that there are not stupid questions, but there are foolish ways of posing answering questions--in other words, it's easy to succumb to inefficiency in inquiry or intellectual laziness. When I see questions like, "I've realized I'm into BDSM, how do I find out what I like?" I think the questions are perhaps poorly posed, and a touch more thought would reveal that the authors do have some ideas about what they like--otherwise, how would they know that they might be attracted to BDSM?

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It's true that many people new to BDSM could stand to be told that they get to have the kinds of BDSM relationships they want, and that while it's useful to figure out what other kinky people call the activities and relational styles they like, they don't have to imitate their fellows. Heck, shortly after I learned that there were letters for those weird sex acts I had been doing, I worried that there was a proper way and that I needed to learn the proper way to do things. Now, to an extent, this was true--there were more effective and safer ways to do what I wanted to do, and learning those helped--but some of the habits I regarded as "correct kink" didn't make my BDSM more rewarding, and I think I and my partners would have been better served if I had been a touch choosier about habits to imitate and less interested in creating false legitimacy for some delightfully illegitimate activities.

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So, newbies: you get to do BDSM how you want--and, for that matter, you get to do sex, hobbies, and relationships how you want. Some of you could stand to think a little more about how and to whom you should pose questions, but by all means, ask questions, and remember to consider the answers critically. Learning about BDSM before you do it, you'll most likely go through less Neosporin and perhaps less emotional confusion than I did, and I wish you as much giggling and falling over one another experimentation as I enjoyed (and enjoy!)

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

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I've seen quite a few more folks of dubious intelligence offering replies than asking questions. 

That's what makes this place so entertaining....

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ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub

Ach! I know we all have been told that there is no such thing as a stupid question. But I also sometimes think people ask questions that I find stupid because they are trying to get a certain reaction going..to create furor so to speak, so actually in some instances there are stupid questions, but deliberately so..Now you have questions that are ignorant, those questions may be viewed differently. It just comes down to the sincerity factor...You were lucky that you and Alandra developed together and created your life the way you wished and thus may of had no need for "community" interaction..your "community" was each other..:0)..I feel many wish to "belong" simply because from that "belonging" will come the learning from others, their experiences and struggles, the meeting of a potential mate...and thus their own emerging dynamic...Tempting

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ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

er, that's not quite the impression i got out of the OP. Contemplative more like.

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ORIGINAL: PairOfDimes

I tend to think that there are not stupid questions, but there are foolish ways of posing answering questions--in other words, it's easy to succumb to inefficiency in inquiry or intellectual laziness. When I see questions like, "I've realized I'm into BDSM, how do I find out what I like?" I think the questions are perhaps poorly posed, and a touch more thought would reveal that the authors do have some ideas about what they like--otherwise, how would they know that they might be attracted to BDSM?

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ORIGINAL: beargonewild

At firsy glance, these questions do appear to be "stupid" or even redundant. Yet for a newbie who is tentatively entering this world of BDSM, they are very unsure of themselves and are fearful thier question could be considered stupid.

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I too, have avoided asking many questions when I first gtahered the courage to actually walk this path and I still recall how nervous, fearful, insecure, and very wary of asking anyone what a label meant or what is ______play. We who are/were newbies, have an inate fear of being ridculed and especially regarding something we have a great interest in that is considered by the general population as to kinky or too weird.

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Being told thundreds of times over the years that no question is stupid, I try to keep this in mind when I read a question posed by a person. I remind myself constantly that I too, was in their shoes at one time and that helps me keep an open frame of mind. My journey into this realm of BDSM took me through many different paths along the way. My path is unique to myself in the same way your path is unique for you. Yet in the overall scheme of things, we travel the same general path. So when I look beyond all the layers, I have to honesty answer that there are no stupid questions asked.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Eh.  I know what you mean, but some questions really are fucking stupid.

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ORIGINAL: Rover

Questions are neither stupid nor brilliant.  People are.

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ORIGINAL: KMsAngel

actually i like it when the flame wars happen too. for example, the racist kevin. the opinons and attitudes of some people i've been following (not the stalkerish sort of following!) were often times as revealing as his small minded comments.