MzMia
Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: julietsierra How fortunate for you that you had someone you could "belong with" before you came into this lifestyle. That's a rarity. How nice that for all of us who were single when we discovered this - for those of us who, without the support of someone who cared for us, learned with us, loved us, that due to our "baggage," we were only doing this because we wanted to "belong" as well. How nice that all of us who were single when we discovered this about ourselves seem to be reduced in your post to the image of grasping and dysfunctional grabbing at the little brass ring of "coupledom" that you enjoy and just can't seem to "ask the right questions." I wonder how you'd have fared if that had been your journey as well. But you must feel very enlightened that you didn't have to navigate the waters of lies and ruses and misinformation, desire and flat out need with no one to learn from or with along the way. This may not be the way you're thinking, but it sure comes off that way in your post. juliet Juliet**I missed this post last night. I agree with you 100% on this one. Many of us were introduced and learned about BDSM online. I was approached by a submissive male 4 years ago in a non/BDSM chat room, who introduced me to this lifestyle. I knew NOTHING about this lifestyle, except I thought S/m were weirdo's that did weird things. I was separated from my husband, bored with vanilla dating and it piqued my interest. We talked for several months online and on the phone, and he helped open my eyes. The point is, we all enter this lifestyle for different reasons and at different places in our own lives. Personally, I love to read so I began "researching" this lifestyle, by reading, reading and reading, sitting in BDSM chats {which I learned little except to stay away from most in there}, and talking to people in this lifestyle. I am thankful to all the Dominants and submissives that have helped me along the way. One thing I have learned, is that for some reason many with a lot of experience in this lifestyle for some reason often feel like they are "better" than those of us with less experience. At this point, it is nothing more than amusing. If some people feel that being an expert at this lifestyle and being an authority makes them feel "special" or better than others, than I am happy for them. My self worth is really not tied to being an expert or authorty on all things BDSM. My self worth is based on who I am, my goals and dreams, helping others and making the world a better place. I come here to laugh, learn and have fun and I am not here to impress others. **By the way, I have learned a lot in many different areas here at CM, sometimes more in the OffCHat, I have also made some wonderful lifestyle friends here. Some with A LOT more experience and some with NO real time experience, my choice of friends is based on how they treat me and their character, not how long they have been in this lifestyle. Some of the women I have found the most helpful and friendly are Professional Dominants. In fact, the submissive male that I am growing very fond of, has very little real experience. But he is the most remarkable man I have met in years. **I prefer those with limited experience, they are often more pliable and we get to do wicked NEW fun things together as we grow and learn, together.** Peace
< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/13/2007 6:06:41 AM >
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Namaste' To Each His/Her Own "DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain What's your favorite fetish? "My partner's whisper"--bloomswell
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