Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Moth to the flame


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Moth to the flame Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Moth to the flame - 7/13/2007 5:24:47 PM   
notbad2day


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		How is it that we are drawn to the lifestyle?  I don't find myself particularly submissive in the vanilla world, but for some reason am drawn to the bottom when thinking about the lifestyle.  I mean I'm even willing to rewrite my profile in an attempt to satisfy a dominant female who feels I'm...confused.  Go figure.  Any comments or words of advice fellow grunts?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Moth to the flame - 7/13/2007 5:33:55 PM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Don`t rewrite your proflie for anyone but you. i spent ages to figure out why i was submissive than decided to hell with it...... i just am.
Good luck and welcome to the boards.

(in reply to notbad2day)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Moth to the flame - 7/13/2007 5:34:05 PM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		My interests go back to childhood.  Started with bondage.  That seemed like it was my entry-point into the Lifestyle (although there was this one woman I now know as submissive that I dated a few years before I understood 'the package').  But once I started seeing all of the facets of 'what we do', I figured out I could pick and choose amongst the things that seemed interesting to me, and expound on them.

I always tell people that who/what you are now (at LEAST interest-wise, if not in general), is not the same person you'll be 6 months down the road, and certainly a year along.  This assumes that your real-time interactions are consistent and regular.  That isn't always how it is for people, but that's certainly best-case.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to notbad2day)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Moth to the flame - 7/13/2007 9:59:38 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		i rewrite our profile on a semi regular basis. If what is written is not bringing the results you want, maybe you should consider this too. If the woman suggesting something to you has a good idea, it is no reason to kick yourself. You did not make a radical change that is permanent or life altering. It's a profile!

There are many people with powerful, demanding jobs and lives who prefer to submit in a lifestyle relationship. There are many reasons, but not the least of them being that they need a break, they need to let go. i know a few Dommes whose "dance cards" are full of highly successful professional men for just this reason.

Everyone joins and experiences the lifestyle for different reasons. Relax and enjoy the ride. It's not supposed to stress you out.

Be Well~* Master's dorei

(in reply to mstrjx)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Moth to the flame - 7/13/2007 10:01:07 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: notbad2day

How is it that we are drawn to the lifestyle?  I don't find myself particularly submissive in the vanilla world, but for some reason am drawn to the bottom when thinking about the lifestyle.  I mean I'm even willing to rewrite my profile in an attempt to satisfy a dominant female who feels I'm...confused.  Go figure.  Any comments or words of advice fellow grunts?


Personally, I like your profile. If you want to rewrite it or are going to rewrite for 'your' Mistress, that's one thing, but to do a rewrite for some random Internet stranger, eh, why bother? You'll never be able to please all the random Internet strangers you meet, so, please yourself, be yourself and the one who likes you for who you really are will be along when the time is ripe.

Good luck and welcome to the boards.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to notbad2day)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Moth to the flame - 7/13/2007 11:01:19 PM   
notbad2day


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		Master's dorei...I do tend to have a demanding job and although some may see it as powerful I do not.  It is wrought with compromise and frustration.  I suspect my personal life is also interwoven within this psyche.  However, I am here to serve and may someday realize that fantasy.  I reach out for Her.  Thank you for your comment.

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Moth to the flame - 7/13/2007 11:06:39 PM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline 		Hang in there. :) It sometimes takes a while to find a good fit, but the good people on these boards will keep you company.

Master's dorei

(in reply to notbad2day)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/15/2007 2:44:21 PM   
MastersMaiden


Posts: 51
Joined: 7/17/2007
Status: offline 		i agree, you definately cant please everyone :)

i guess i've always been drawn to the lifestyle as a submissive...i never really knew what that meant until about 2 years ago though. it was cemented what i WASNT when my ex wanted me to roleplaying, like"those dominatrix chicks" lol. That was when i DEFINATELY knew i wasnt a switch or a domme. i did try though, lol.

it was always just a feeling of something missing in my life, i would always try and get my ex to me more dominant, and take charge of things, and he just wasnt that way. Then i met my Master :), who explained things to me, and helped me to understand what i was feeling. i'm still wayyyyyyyyyyyyyy noobie though lol.

*a little of the current topic, but relevent to the OP, i think * :D

(in reply to MasterNdorei)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/15/2007 2:58:30 PM   
BoundDragon


Posts: 265
Joined: 3/20/2007
Status: offline 		I have always been this way... I may have only put a name to it in the later years but the same feelings and stimuli have always been there....

I am as nature intended me & embrace my tendancies to the utmost.

(in reply to MastersMaiden)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/15/2007 3:02:28 PM   
IvyMorgan


Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline 		That's a question I'm never going to have an answer to, and at the same time, know exactly why.

I'm like this because I was trained/molded to be this way.  But whether I would have been like this without the training, whether this was already inside me before then, I won't know.

Trying a dose of "accept self as is" is working for me though.  I am who I am, and how I got here is almost irrelevent.

(in reply to BoundDragon)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/16/2007 7:48:25 AM   
becca333


Posts: 1050
Joined: 4/11/2006
Status: offline 		I'm like this because... I am.  Nobody made me this way, no trauma or training or whatever.  Life made me this way, I suppose, but I've always felt this yearning, before I even knew the name for it. 

Don't rewrite your profile, you can't change how you are.  Enjoy it, and find someone who values you for you.

(in reply to IvyMorgan)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/16/2007 7:15:40 PM   
johnnyak


Posts: 64
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline 		notbad2day just reading your post is like a mirror reflection of what i thought about writing.Im also in the same boat.In the vanilla world im far from submissive but the lifestyle is just so much of a lure and something that,as of yet,not sure as to whether to feel guilty about my submissive urges towards Women,whether it makes me feel like less or a man or whether to embrace it.Im one confused young man at the moment!

(in reply to becca333)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/16/2007 7:20:53 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		My boys just feel its right to be submissive. Angel tends to be that way with most females, Kitten was that way with just me.  For some its how you deal with personal iteraction, for others there is just someone you cannot help but give yourself to.
You ARE confused... give it time. But d not rewrite yourself to make others happy. Find someone to grow with. Its a rough journey, bt OH so worth it in the end

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to johnnyak)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/17/2007 7:47:13 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		I was born submissive even as a child.  It was not until i met my late mentor that i could put a name to my feelings that was 7 almost 8 years ago and i fought it then but now i am fine and happy about it.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Moth to the flame - 8/17/2007 2:17:33 PM   
Constanza


Posts: 57
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline 		Since i have a Master and i am not looking for another one, i keep my information on my profile to a minimum. If people want to know more about me, they are free to ask him about me or check my signature.



_____________________________

Collared by Lord Sully on Saturday august 25th 2007, The man i adore and love.

Fetish Gear

(in reply to littleone35)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Moth to the flame - 9/1/2007 4:54:45 PM   
notbad2day


Posts: 10
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		Although submissive I do not find myself in a hurry to be a slave.  I desire more to offer myself to a Domina for a sense of worthiness or as a way to see that another values me.  Odd huh?  I have value...why do I seek it from someone who wishes to dominate others?

(in reply to Constanza)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Moth to the flame - 9/1/2007 5:16:57 PM   
kossack


Posts: 82
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline 		I knew I was interested in erotic submission even while I still thought sex was 'icky.'  Like you, I'm not at all submissive in the rest of my life--just the opposite, actually.  But, somehow I feel more secure, more protected, more alive when I relinquish all that responsiblity and let someone else drive.  I can't describe it well, it is like trying to describe a candle light when you only have a florescent to exam it with, but it is just part of who I am.

(in reply to notbad2day)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Moth to the flame - 9/1/2007 5:57:26 PM   
Babybass


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline 		In vanilla life and in business I am not submissive - but I have always known that I have the tendancy to be submissive - it is my natural state. I have found only one man that i can give myslf to completely - mind, body and soul. If any other man were to say what he says or ask what he asks of me I would laugh at them or backanswer - but I am his completely and always will be. If this relationship were to ever end would i look for another master - in time probably yes - but he would have very big shoes to fill!!

_____________________________

"To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you like everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight and never stop fighting" - e e cummings

(in reply to kossack)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Moth to the flame - 9/1/2007 8:31:06 PM   
iammachine


Posts: 1549
Joined: 1/25/2006
Status: offline 		I, for one, actually like your profile. It's brief, but well written.

I, for one, re-write my own semi-regularly, but I do so for myself though I do tend to take some sort of feedback when I do to better tailor what I'm wanting to say. So, I guess, input good, but that's an influence, not a deciding factor.

As for how I was drawn to the lifestlye, I guess I've always had something of a kinky inclination. One of my favorite toys as a little girl was a pair of trick hand cuffs.


_____________________________

I still hear you scream... in every breath, every single motion

(in reply to notbad2day)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Moth to the flame - 9/1/2007 9:05:01 PM   
RaynaSub


Posts: 185
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I am in this lifestyle, because this is who I am.
I don't really feel like I have a choice.

(in reply to notbad2day)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Moth to the flame Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094