RE: Body image issues and BDSM

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/14/2007 7:14:46 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww
Are those women just into humiliation or they care more about the personality?

Well I am into humiliation, but I'm not humiliated by being with a really hot guy all the time. I'm pretty darn lucky (hence the name)

My partner DOES actually prefer rounder women, which is good for me, but he has assured me he will still enjoy me physically if/when I lose the weight I want to lose.

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/14/2007 7:18:07 PM

BadCanadian

Posts: 7
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Windsor
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Well The truth behind that Miss is that its in the other persons eye. I have seem Pretty and wonderful women go by my way but i have seen others mocked at them. So it really dont matter what they think as long as u belive in your self well i dont have a pic now but i will post later cause it dont matter what u look like only what u feel ^^

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/14/2007 8:07:50 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati

quote:

I think plenty of people due to poor self image on many levels look toward the BDSM and Leather community because they see a large group of fairly unattractive, overweight people and think they look good compared to the rest. It's a false sense of security.

BoiJen,
I did this in the beginning....now I could care less how I look compared to others....I get up there in front cause I know im gonna go home with a bruised ass....

and as to you having self image issues...how could anyone as cute as you have issues? I mean really...everytime I see your picture I just wanna steal you....

Amazing the power we give to others' words isn't it? Like I said I'm over the issues now and it took me time. I wouldn't attribute my own self growth in any sense to the community as a whole...but to individuals within the community as friends and extended famil? Sure with a big "s."

As for being stealable well I appreciate the comment truly but I'm not on the "market" perse. Thank you again though. Be safe.

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/14/2007 8:19:43 PM

GhitaAmati

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Joined: 5/30/2007
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lol..i know you arent...cant help a girl for wishing though huh....

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Post #: 44

RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/14/2007 8:26:26 PM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
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ehh it's all good I make a good friend :)

be safe

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/14/2007 9:04:54 PM

sublimelysensual

Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
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The thing with emotional abuse (ie, being told you're fat, lazy, a bitch, whatever the case may be), is that after being told that enough times, you start to believe it about yourself, even while in the back of your mind, a little voice is saying.."you know he/she is just saying that to get to you". It's something I've definitely struggled with after being in a bad marriage, and something I'm sure a lot of others have struggled with as well. Mentally, I've come a million miles from where I was right after I left, but there will always be that small part of me that's apprehensive right after sending out a pic. The difference is, now if someone isn't attracted, I think, "okay, their loss" and not "if they think I'm ugly/fat/*insert term here*, then I must be that thing. Instead of focusing on what you don't have to offer..ie, a size 6 body, perky breasts, think about what you do have to offer.

As to the lifestyle, when I walked into my first munche, my jaw dropped, because of seeing so many other women like me. I do think people involved tend to be more accepting, as it's been my personal experience. As to whether they're snickering behind my back..well..I don't give a sh*t, to put it bluntly, lol. And while I will happily go nekkie and free at a play party or dungeon, for the most part in that situation, I know the people that matter are going to see the beauty of my submission, or my intellect, or my sense of humor, regardless of whether they see beauty in my nudity, and if nothing else, I think inner beauty tends to influence the way someone sees outward appearance.

- just as a sidebar since I can't post a piccie, I'm 5'8, and weigh 225...-

-a

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Post #: 46

RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/15/2007 10:17:12 AM

zumala

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I admit that I have body image issues, although sometimes I just have over-all self-worth issues as well. There are times I don't mind what I see in the mirror, and other times when I get just plain furious at what I see. I've already decided that I am whatever I am in basics. I'm not going to get cosmetic surgery to change what I was born with. So all I can do is try to make the best of what I do have.

Of course, that's the hard part. I'm never good enough. As of right now, I need to lose about 15 pounds and I can't run because of leg injuries. I'm hoping to start working on that problem next week, as I have two doctors appointments concerning them.

Hmm... I think I'm babbling. Sorry about that.

zuma

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/15/2007 3:06:49 PM

domiguy

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Joined: 5/2/2006
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If you don't have a sound understanding of the person paying the compliment it is just nice to hear but nothing more....

We can compartmentalize people rather easily...When I was but a Domiboy I would categorize women based upon many criteria...The more qualities that a women possesed would depend on where she would fit on the scale.....Is she fuckable? Killing Time material? Presentable? Dateable? Is she relationship material? Is she someone that should be used without giving at all of myself?

I don't let many people's words carry much weight....When it comes to determining a course of action, accepting criticisms or compliments....I have to place value on that person. That takes time and consideration.

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/15/2007 3:21:34 PM

PairOfDimes

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Joined: 7/20/2006
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Congratulations! I think being happy and feeling accomplished about what my body can do, sexually or otherwise, makes me feel happier about how it looks. And, too, I think feedback and attention indicating that I'm attractive encourages me to believe myself attractive. I'm not sure that this is exclusively due to BDSM--I often get a little thrill when I receive a polite, appearance-based compliment by a stranger or a non-fuckable friend, and I feel happy when I succeed in a particularly hard workout--but surely BDSM activities are among the many things that can encourage me to feel attractive.

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RE: Body image issues and BDSM - 7/15/2007 5:08:30 PM

MsPleasure

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Joined: 1/1/2007
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I was pleasantly surprised and shocked when I saw my first pictures in lingerie and nude. EVERY woman needs to take pictures using YOUR digital camera with a trusted male/female friend. Most imperfections we preceive are mental lies that we believed from our past. I dare you to do it.

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