slavegirljoy
Posts: 1207
Joined: 11/6/2006
From: North Carolina, USA
Status: offline
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For the most part, i agree with what you wrote here. More years doesn't necessarily equal more experience, but it can, if someone continues to do something repeatedly over the years. For example, my mother loved to sail and she had a lot more experience at sailing when she was 60 than she did when she was 30, because she had sailed a lot more during those 30 years than she had in the previous 30 years.
More experience equals more experience. Doing something many times over is the only way to get more experience at it. It's a fact that, if you do something many times, for many years, you are going to be more experienced at it. That doesn't mean you are necessarily going to be any better at it, but more experienced, just the same. Someone young can be much more experienced at something, than someone older, if they have done it more times than the older person. For example, i was a lot more experienced at swallowing cum and pee by the time i was 25 than many women are by the time they are 75, because i had done both, repeatedly and frequently for several years, by then, and many women, who were much older than me, had never done either, even one time. That made me more experienced in those activities than many older women.
Experience, alone, isn't necessarily going to make you any better at something, either, but it does give you the opportunity to find out what you like and what you don't like. You can then get more experience with the things you like. Experience can also give you the opportunity to develop your own style and to become more comfortable and confident at what you do. But, if you do something over and over and you do it poorly and always do it the same, you are always going to do it poorly, no matter how much experience you have. For example, i love to dance and i dance every chance i get, usually several times a day, even when i am just cleaning the house. i have always loved to dance and i have always been very poor at it. i dance the same way now as i did 30 years ago and i was a poor dancer then and i am a poor dancer still, even with all my years of experience, but i enjoy it, just the same, and i have my own style and i am comfortable with my dancing.
The main difference between how i do things now, with years of experience, as compared to how i did things when i was much younger, is that i do them, not really any better, but with more ease and self-confidence. i am not filled with the anxiety i had 30 years ago. i'm not all tense and worried that i am going to look stupid when i dance (because i know i look stupid when i dance and i accept that and feel okay about it and just enjoy it) and i'm not tense and worried when i give a blow job, now, like i usually was when i was a lot younger. That's not because i am more experienced and, therefor, any better at it now, but because i am more comfortable and confident in giving a blow job, now, than i was when i was younger. i used to think that i had to give a"perfect" blow job and, if i did anything less than perfect, i would be rejected. That was due to my own feelings of insecurity then. i am much more secure in myself now. i know that there is no such thing as a perfect blow job and that every blow job is a perfect blow job, even if there is no ejaculation with it.
i think the "flippant mentality of youth", that you mentioned, is really just a defense for being insecure. And, i believe you are right, that being secure about yourself, who you are and what you do, is something that does come from age and maturity or, at least, it should. Although, again, there are some who are very mature and self-assured at a younger age. Always the exceptions.
For me, age, not experience, has brought maturity, a mature way of looking at myself and other people and at the world and accepting myself and believing in myself. Age and maturity have brought me less insecurity, less anxiety, more confidence and a feeling of comfort about myself and my sexuality and my value as a person. That acceptance and confidence in myself has allowed me to do what i do (which is the same stuff i was doing when i was 18), not necessarily better, but with a grace and ease that i didn't have when i was a nervous and insecure 20 year old. So, even if i don't do it any better, i definately enjoy doing it a lot more now.
For what it's worth, these are my personal views on this.
slave joy
Owned property of Master David
"Commitment transforms a promise into a reality."
quote:
ORIGINAL: palerose
More years behind you does not equal more experience. Neither does being younger equal less experience. In my opinion, as a beginner, I would not choose a Dom of my own age.
My personal reasons against having a younger Dom are nothing to do with their experience in the BDSM world. It is to do with the flippant mentality of youth. I want someone who knows what he wants and has the belief in his own convictions (and as such somone whos convictions I can believe in) to take on the repsonsibility of ownership over another person. Something which I believe comes with age as you gain more security in yourself and in your life.
Perhaps these things don't come with age, but if not the older people I know are putting on a damn good show.
PR x
PR x
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RE: I have a theory... - 
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