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Bullies - 7/15/2007 12:30:05 PM   
satyrsnymph28


Posts: 379
Status: offline 		I am being bullied in my own home.  Well, its not MY house, I don't own it... but I do live here. 

I live with my parents, and my brother is right now staying the summer before he then again leaves for college in the fall. 

I am the only working member of the household.  My parents are both retired, and my brother sleeps til 2 or 3 in the afternoon and then gets up and goes out and parties.

I'm the oldest of the two of us. 

Anyway, I work, and I have a paycheck (obviously).  I don't make enough to move out.  I found a cheap place that I would have been able to afford, just a few weeks ago, but my mom voiced a very strong opinion that she didnt want me to move, and she told me that I couldn't take any of the furniture thats in my room now, which created costs beyond what I could afford, to be able to have a bed to sleep on if I moved out. 

So I stayed.  I didnt really have a choice. 

Anyway, things were better for like two weeks, and then everythng fell back into normalcy again. 

Things my mom does that I have come to consider normal:
  • taking the entire contents of my room out to the garage (including my bed) when she gets mad at me about something
  • reminding me that i am fat, and i need to not eat so much (ie. mouthing "stop eating" at the dinner table, calling me fat, taking food away, and making my plate for me with insanely small portions and not allowing me to eat any more)
  • stealing my mouse and keyboard when something of hers goes missing, even if I didnt take it, or have no idea of where it could possibly be. 
  • telling me that my artwork (painting, collages, etc.) is childish and that it looks like garbage. 
I'm sure theres much more. 

Anyway, one of the big things in my house is about saving money.  I save, for the most part... my parents buy the groceries but anything else I want is on me.  I try to plan to make the most of things I buy... like if I am going to order out, it will last me two nights, and I will do it when my parents aren't going to be home to cook. 

The other night I was at a friend's house and I ordered a pizza half and half for us to share.  I paid for it.  He didn't like my half, so I took it home and put it in the fridge when I got home. My parents had said they were going out the next night, so I figured I would save my two left over slices for when they weren't here. 

I put my pizza in the garage refrigerator at 1:30 am when I arrived home. My brother walked in at 4:00 in the morning, and discovered my pizza in the fridge.  Ofcourse he ate it.  I should not be responsible for feeding him.  He's not my son, he's their son.  When he eats my food, it should be replaced.  I talked with them about this... and they told me that I didn't need to eat the pizza anyway, because I was already fat, and that they wouldn't give me back the money that he essentially ate, when he ate my pizza. 

This, to me, is infuriating.  There are TONS of other things in this house that he could (and usually does) eat.  I was told that I should have thought to grab a black sharpie at 1am and write my name on my pizza if I wanted it to be there for me the next day.  I had ALSO been told (just the day before) that writing my name on things that were mine was absurd... (which came up because my brother drank all of my Mocha Frappucinos that I bought). 

Its not about the pizza... thats just how the issue manifested itself in the house.  Its about me choosing to spend my money on something and having someone else take, use, eat, that something that belongs to me.

There are TONS of other issues as well... in brief:
  • I get asked to do everything around the house... cook, clean, dishes, vaccuum, and maintain the adjoining bathroom between my brothers room and mine.  They never ask anything of him
  • Without fail, my mom comes in at 8:30 every weekend morning to ask me something.  My brother has never been woken up for any reason. 
  • I am expected to keep my room clean, but she cleans his for him
  • I've been doing my laundry since I was 13.  He doesn't know how to do his laundry
  • They pay for his schooling, and refuse to even help me with mine.  
  • He uses foul language all the time, but when a word thats even slightly inappropreate passes my lips, I get told that I shouldn't talk like that. 

Anyway , I am looking for advice on how to deal with the situation.  I can't move out, so thats not a helpful answer... and I am looking for a better job, so thats not a helpful response either. 

I just need some coping skills... methods to deal with all the goings on of the household.  And maybe even some answers as to why this happenss... its so brutal when you're living it. 

Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 12:42:14 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

I am being bullied in my own home.  Well, its not MY house, I don't own it... but I do live here. 

I live with my parents, and my brother is right now staying the summer before he then again leaves for college in the fall. 

I am the only working member of the household.  My parents are both retired, and my brother sleeps til 2 or 3 in the afternoon and then gets up and goes out and parties.

I'm the oldest of the two of us. 

Anyway, I work, and I have a paycheck (obviously).  I don't make enough to move out.  I found a cheap place that I would have been able to afford, just a few weeks ago, but my mom voiced a very strong opinion that she didnt want me to move, and she told me that I couldn't take any of the furniture thats in my room now, which created costs beyond what I could afford, to be able to have a bed to sleep on if I moved out. 

So I stayed.  I didnt really have a choice. 

I'm going to be blunt, but I hope you don't take it as being harsh. Yes, you did have a choice. Sleeping on a simple pallet on the floor, made of blankets, is certainly doable.

Anyway, things were better for like two weeks, and then everythng fell back into normalcy again. 

Things my mom does that I have come to consider normal:
  • taking the entire contents of my room out to the garage (including my bed) when she gets mad at me about something
  • reminding me that i am fat, and i need to not eat so much (ie. mouthing "stop eating" at the dinner table, calling me fat, taking food away, and making my plate for me with insanely small portions and not allowing me to eat any more)
  • stealing my mouse and keyboard when something of hers goes missing, even if I didnt take it, or have no idea of where it could possibly be. 
  • telling me that my artwork (painting, collages, etc.) is childish and that it looks like garbage. 
I'm sure theres much more. 

Anyway, one of the big things in my house is about saving money.  I save, for the most part... my parents buy the groceries but anything else I want is on me.  I try to plan to make the most of things I buy... like if I am going to order out, it will last me two nights, and I will do it when my parents aren't going to be home to cook. 

The other night I was at a friend's house and I ordered a pizza half and half for us to share.  I paid for it.  He didn't like my half, so I took it home and put it in the fridge when I got home. My parents had said they were going out the next night, so I figured I would save my two left over slices for when they weren't here. 

I put my pizza in the garage refrigerator at 1:30 am when I arrived home. My brother walked in at 4:00 in the morning, and discovered my pizza in the fridge.  Ofcourse he ate it.  I should not be responsible for feeding him.  He's not my son, he's their son.  When he eats my food, it should be replaced.  I talked with them about this... and they told me that I didn't need to eat the pizza anyway, because I was already fat, and that they wouldn't give me back the money that he essentially ate, when he ate my pizza. 

This, to me, is infuriating.  There are TONS of other things in this house that he could (and usually does) eat.  I was told that I should have thought to grab a black sharpie at 1am and write my name on my pizza if I wanted it to be there for me the next day.  I had ALSO been told (just the day before) that writing my name on things that were mine was absurd... (which came up because my brother drank all of my Mocha Frappucinos that I bought). 

Its not about the pizza... thats just how the issue manifested itself in the house.  Its about me choosing to spend my money on something and having someone else take, use, eat, that something that belongs to me.

There are TONS of other issues as well... in brief:
  • I get asked to do everything around the house... cook, clean, dishes, vaccuum, and maintain the adjoining bathroom between my brothers room and mine.  They never ask anything of him
  • Without fail, my mom comes in at 8:30 every weekend morning to ask me something.  My brother has never been woken up for any reason. 
  • I am expected to keep my room clean, but she cleans his for him
  • I've been doing my laundry since I was 13.  He doesn't know how to do his laundry
  • They pay for his schooling, and refuse to even help me with mine.  
  • He uses foul language all the time, but when a word thats even slightly inappropreate passes my lips, I get told that I shouldn't talk like that. 


Anyway , I am looking for advice on how to deal with the situation.  I can't move out, so thats not a helpful answer... and I am looking for a better job, so thats not a helpful response either. 

I just need some coping skills... methods to deal with all the goings on of the household.  And maybe even some answers as to why this happenss... its so brutal when you're living it. 

Again, you should have takent he cheap room/place mentioned. Do you have any friends to put you up? It seems to me, that you're worrying about him and what they do for him way too much. Focus on what you want and getting it, ignore them, and get it done.
 
And "brutal"..... brutal is living in a cardboard box.





_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 12:48:53 PM   
Arpig


Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline
quote:

And "brutal"..... brutal is living in a cardboard box.

 
A cardboard box??? Luxury!!! We used to dream of living in a cardboard box!!



_____________________________

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Ha Ha...Charade you are!

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Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 12:59:22 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Your Mother and brother do not know how to respect boundaries. If you set them and you should, you need to stand by them otherwise these folks are going to continue to walk all over you. However I can see you are in a financial pickle. Have you thought about renting a room thats furnished? or perhaps a room and buying a futon? I know some places have layaway and if you started paying for it now it could be paid for by the time you moved out. Your other alternative is to find a roommate that you can get along with.

It sounds to me as if your Mother has babied and spoilt your brother so bad that he may never leave home.  In a way  Mother's who do this cripple their offspring. Be glad you know how to do your laundry and other things, at least you won't have to go around begging people to do it for you when Mom is no longer there.

Good luck,
~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to satyrsnymph28)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:00:40 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

quote:

And "brutal"..... brutal is living in a cardboard box.

 
A cardboard box??? Luxury!!! We used to dream of living in a cardboard box!!




 Yeah, sleep in a ditch a couple of nights, that box starts to look mighty inviting.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Arpig)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:02:00 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lashra

Your Mother and brother do not know how to respect boundaries. If you set them and you should, you need to stand by them otherwise these folks are going to continue to walk all over you. However I can see you are in a financial pickle. Have you thought about renting a room thats furnished? or perhaps a room and buying a futon? I know some places have layaway and if you started paying for it now it could be paid for by the time you moved out. Your other alternative is to find a roommate that you can get along with.

It sounds to me as if your Mother has babied and spoilt your brother so bad that he may never leave home.  In a way  Mother's who do this cripple their offspring. Be glad you know how to do your laundry and other things, at least you won't have to go around begging people to do it for you when Mom is no longer there.

Good luck,
~Lashra



Good post, Lashra, especially the part about being grateful she can do things for herself.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:07:49 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Sounds horrendous.

1) You had the money to afford a small place of your own, but couldnt stretch to furniture. I'm going to make the presumption here, that you had to save a deposit to secure the small place of your own? In that case you need to save to get some furniture too - it doesnt need to be new of course; whatever works will do when you start out alone. You'll also need cooking stuff of course - get a wok, a decent knife, a wooden spoon and a ladle and one saucepan - you can cook anything with this limited equipment.

2) Get the hell out of there. Sounds to me like if you dont make every effort to do so, you will still be there ten years from now.

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:09:00 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:


  • I get asked to do everything around the house... cook, clean, dishes, vaccuum, and maintain the adjoining bathroom between my brothers room and mine.  They never ask anything of him
  • Without fail, my mom comes in at 8:30 every weekend morning to ask me something.  My brother has never been woken up for any reason. 
  • I am expected to keep my room clean, but she cleans his for him
  • I've been doing my laundry since I was 13.  He doesn't know how to do his laundry
  • They pay for his schooling, and refuse to even help me with mine.  
  • He uses foul language all the time, but when a word thats even slightly inappropreate passes my lips, I get told that I shouldn't talk like that.  


    • I'd take the hint that it's time to fledge.  Focus on getting another job in add it o the one you have until you can find one to support your needs.  I would surmise that your brother wil be "encouraged" to leave in the same way when his time comes.  (I'm assuming your brother is younger)
     
    Some parents have a difficult time coming right out and saying "Honey, we think it's time you go out on your own" so they resort to this sort of chilldish behaviour hoping you will get fed up enough and leave. 

    They are shooting themselves in the foot.  The offspring are the ones that choose their nursing home :)
     
     

    _____________________________

    Life Lesson #1

    I'm not your type.
    I'm not inflatable.


    (in reply to satyrsnymph28)
    Profile   Post #: 8
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:09:17 PM   
    satyrsnymph28


    Posts: 379
    Status: offline     		This is exactly the kind of response I knew I would get... Moving out is simply NOT an option... I made sure to say that when I posted, to attempt to avoid all those responses.  If I could move, I would... I simply can't afford to.  Every time I move in with someone its way more of a loss than it is a gain because suddenly my stuff becomes their stuff... and its just like being at home. 

    I'm looking for more of a how to cope type answer... I have to be here right now, its a way of life... so how do I deal with it in the intrum until I CAN move out?

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    Profile   Post #: 9
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:23:38 PM   
    SeeksOnlyOne


    Posts: 2012
    Joined: 5/14/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

    This is exactly the kind of response I knew I would get... Moving out is simply NOT an option... I made sure to say that when I posted, to attempt to avoid all those responses.  If I could move, I would... I simply can't afford to.  Every time I move in with someone its way more of a loss than it is a gain because suddenly my stuff becomes their stuff... and its just like being at home. 

    I'm looking for more of a how to cope type answer... I have to be here right now, its a way of life... so how do I deal with it in the intrum until I CAN move out?



    you can choose to stay there and deal with things......or you can leave......there is always a choice and options.....

    if you stay, id suggest getting another job so you can work most hours of the day, leaving no time to spend money, thus saving more money to move away.......eat while youre away from home, and just dont bring anything in the house you dont want to part with.....

    or you can look around and find a room for rent, an extended stay motel, a friends house......become a nanny......find a way to get out of there ASAP, if the behaviors you must put up with bother you so much......

    it all boils down to .......the dreaded.......egads...."as long as youre under my roof, you will do as i say!"............when you get your OWN roof, you can make the rules........until then, work more, go for long walks, take up meditation, do whatever you need to to survive.....

    personally, id find a cheap room to rent somewhere.......

    _____________________________

    it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

    in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

    (in reply to satyrsnymph28)
    Profile   Post #: 10
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:41:16 PM   
    LuckyAlbatross


    Posts: 19224
    Joined: 10/25/2005
    Status: offline     		Suck it up, save like a demon, and move out ASAP.

    They aren't going to change.  You have to change your living situation and over the years you can retrain them how to treat you.  But first, you have to become a stable secure independent adult.

    _____________________________

    Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

    "Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

    (in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
    Profile   Post #: 11
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:52:52 PM   
    Level


    Posts: 25145
    Joined: 3/3/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

    This is exactly the kind of response I knew I would get... Moving out is simply NOT an option... I made sure to say that when I posted, to attempt to avoid all those responses.  If I could move, I would... I simply can't afford to.  Every time I move in with someone its way more of a loss than it is a gain because suddenly my stuff becomes their stuff... and its just like being at home. 

    I'm looking for more of a how to cope type answer... I have to be here right now, its a way of life... so how do I deal with it in the intrum until I CAN move out?



    quote:

    I found a cheap place that I would have been able to afford, just a few weeks ago, but my mom voiced a very strong opinion that she didnt want me to move, and she told me that I couldn't take any of the furniture thats in my room now, which created costs beyond what I could afford, to be able to have a bed to sleep on if I moved out. 

    So I stayed.  I didnt really have a choice. 



    Moving out WAS an option, and if one comes again, grab it and don't make excuses.

    quote:

    If I could move, I would... I simply can't afford to.  Every time I move in with someone its way more of a loss than it is a gain because suddenly my stuff becomes their stuff... and its just like being at home


    If everyone  you know treats you this way, why do you think that is?
     
    How to cope..... either talk to your family, very bluntly but kindly, or stay away from them as much as possible. Get a lock for your room. Meditate. Go out and walk.

    _____________________________

    Fake the heat and scratch the itch
    Skinned up knees and salty lips
    Let go it's harder holding on
    One more trip and I'll be gone

    ~~ Stone Temple Pilots

    (in reply to satyrsnymph28)
    Profile   Post #: 12
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:58:15 PM   
    popeye1250


    Posts: 18104
    Joined: 1/27/2006
    From: New Hampshire
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Level

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Arpig

    quote:

    And "brutal"..... brutal is living in a cardboard box.

     
    A cardboard box??? Luxury!!! We used to dream of living in a cardboard box!!




     Yeah, sleep in a ditch a couple of nights, that box starts to look mighty inviting.


    That's nothing, I slept on a bed of NAILS when I was young.
    Outside.
    In the Winter.
    And my brother slept on top of me!
    To keep me warm!
    Boy are people spoiled these days!

    BBL, I'm going out for a swim. In a pool of HOT LAVA!
    Pusseys!

    < Message edited by popeye1250 -- 7/15/2007 2:02:07 PM >

    _____________________________

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    Profile   Post #: 13
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 1:59:40 PM   
    lilsubl


    Posts: 4595
    Joined: 2/6/2006
    Status: offline     		your family & your situation sounds sooooo familiar!!  my mother's siblings lived like that with their parents also...the parents were from Norway, but i'm not sure how much their culture had to do with their behavior...the male offspring were favored & had to do little around the house while the females were required to do everything....i watched my aunt beat her head against this brick wall till it was bloody right up to the demise of both her parents & probably beyond...

    you need to deal with what is, not what you think it should be...& what is, is that your parents & brother are who they are & will continue to act this way & you can't change anybody but yourself...they are who they are & as long as you continue to relate to them the way that you have been, they will relate to you the same way that they have always done up to the present...my epiphany with my mother came when i woke up one day & decided that she wasn't going to suddenly become the mother of my dreams, so i needed to not only find a way to get along with her but to accept her & enjoy her...i found the way to do that & my interactions with her were no longer awful...in fact, we had fun together & made each other laugh...your way to do this will be different than my way was, so i can't really tell you how to do that, just that it's what made my relationship with a difficult parent an enjoyable one...

    i understand that you don't see moving out as an option...sometimes the things that we can't envision as options actually are options, so please don't close your mind to that possibility...as long as you live there & as long as the 4 of you continue to relate to each other in the same way, your life will remain the same...the way to deal with bullies is not with aggression or passivity, but with assertiveness...an understanding in your gut that you no longer desire to be bullied & learning to not accept the bullying...again, they won't change because you want them to, so you have to change yourself & your attitude toward their behavior...

    i wish you luck & happiness......


    _____________________________

    Linea, collarded pet of the evil Sir Max & his lovely & equally evil wife


    it's no fun unless you're scared

    if you can't be brave, be determined & you'll get to the same place

    wannabe member of the subbi mafia

    (in reply to satyrsnymph28)
    Profile   Post #: 14
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 2:04:34 PM   
    domiguy


    Posts: 12952
    Joined: 5/2/2006
    Status: offline     		Kill them...Put their bodies in the deep freeze....Sell their stuff and move out...Or work harder..2nd job? ....I would rather work 16 hours a day then live in your current hell hole...There is no coping available unless you start doing some serious drugs....These people sound like A-holes and you sound rather pathetic yourself for not being able to control any aspect of your life....It seems that you are wearing a "Please, walk all over me" sign.

    Move to a shelter....Get the fuck out.

    _____________________________



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    Profile   Post #: 15
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 2:05:23 PM   
    SeeksOnlyOne


    Posts: 2012
    Joined: 5/14/2007
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Level


     snip 
    How to cope..... either talk to your family, very bluntly but kindly, or stay away from them as much as possible. Get a lock for your room. Meditate. Go out and walk.


    we must have been typing the same thing at the same time......one of us needs to be vewwy vewwy afraid  

    _____________________________

    it aint no good til it hurts just a little bit....jimmy somerville

    in those moments of solitude, does everyone sometimes think they are insane? or is it just me?

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    Profile   Post #: 16
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 2:09:00 PM   
    bbwsubnnorcal


    Posts: 104
    Joined: 4/24/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: satyrsnymph28

    This is exactly the kind of response I knew I would get... Moving out is simply NOT an option... I made sure to say that when I posted, to attempt to avoid all those responses.  If I could move, I would... I simply can't afford to.  Every time I move in with someone its way more of a loss than it is a gain because suddenly my stuff becomes their stuff... and its just like being at home. 

    I'm looking for more of a how to cope type answer... I have to be here right now, its a way of life... so how do I deal with it in the intrum until I CAN move out?



    Bullshit!  Sorry---i've rented PLENTY of rooms in places and NEVER had the problems you are saying you've had in renting.  Sounds like you keep RUNNING back home to mommy and daddy expecting things to miraculously change. That somehow they will "see the light".

    Well, ggguuuueeeesssss what?!  THEY WON'T!!!  EVER!!! They are set in their ways and see no reason to change. The only one who can change is--yourself!

    Moving out is not an option----then shut up and deal with it...

    Or suck it up, get a second job---don't give them any $$$ other than what rent needs to be paid... and save save save...

    Whining to a bunch of Dom's and sub's isn't going to get you any sympathy, dear. All it will get you is plenty of verbal abuse---

    Of course, if you're into that sort of thing... then you are right at "home".

    (in reply to satyrsnymph28)
    Profile   Post #: 17
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 2:28:29 PM   
    velvetears


    Posts: 2933
    Joined: 6/19/2006
    Status: offline     		Your mom is contolling you and you are allowing it.  So what "she voiced a very strong opinion that she didn't want me to move"  Stand up for yourself and tell her to keep the stuff and simply walk away.  It sounds like your parents live the double standard on how to treat girls and boys.  i agree not to ficus on how they threat your brother - trust me he will pay dearly for it because they are basically crippling him. He knows darn well not to take your things and food - he does it because he can get away with it.  i had worse scenario then you when i was younger then you and i left home with only the clothes i could fit in a car and slept on a blanket on the floor for about a year till i could assemble an apartment and my own life. i worked 2 to 3 jobs easily and went to school.  i had a vision of what i wanted for my life and nothing at that time was going to disuade me or be an obstacle.  Potatos and ramen noodles were my staples - and i was deleriously happy and felt like a 1000000 lb weight was lifted from my shoulders - the deprivation i endured was nothing compared to their opression and abuse.  Get out at all costs or you will slowly be chipped away at till you are nothing but rubble. Those people don't want to see you succeeed, they are so miserable they want to see you as unhappy as they are, don't allow it. 

    If you stay in that house #1 - Get a lock on your door #2 - Get a mini fridge to keep in your room  #3 - start saving every penny   #4 - Sit down with them and at least try to set boundaries - tell them you will not acccept them calling you names or telling you how you choose to eat, when what where how etc  #5 - Don't react emotionally to them - if my instincts are correct they feed of drama and seeing you upset #6 - spend as little time as possible at home  #7 - if they don't change tell them in a very calm tone that once you move out, if they continue to treat you like dirt - they will not be seeing you again.

    Once you stand up to bullies they back down.  Once your mom knows you are serious she will change or you will be out of her life.   The house is so dysfunctional it's going to eventually destroy you emotionally if you stay. Nothing is worth that.  Good luck to you and please see options - maybe they are hard to make but they are there.

    _____________________________

    Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

    (in reply to satyrsnymph28)
    Profile   Post #: 18
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 2:37:41 PM   
    Level


    Posts: 25145
    Joined: 3/3/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: popeye1250

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Level

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Arpig

    quote:

    And "brutal"..... brutal is living in a cardboard box.

     
    A cardboard box??? Luxury!!! We used to dream of living in a cardboard box!!




     Yeah, sleep in a ditch a couple of nights, that box starts to look mighty inviting.


    That's nothing, I slept on a bed of NAILS when I was young.
    Outside.
    In the Winter.
    And my brother slept on top of me!
    To keep me warm!
    Boy are people spoiled these days!

    BBL, I'm going out for a swim. In a pool of HOT LAVA!
    Pusseys!


    I know! When growing up (in the ditch), I made the mistake of complaining about the rocks we used to fill our pillow cases.... the next night, I found mine had been replaced with cow patties! "Soft enough for you?!"

    _____________________________

    Fake the heat and scratch the itch
    Skinned up knees and salty lips
    Let go it's harder holding on
    One more trip and I'll be gone

    ~~ Stone Temple Pilots

    (in reply to popeye1250)
    Profile   Post #: 19
    RE: Bullies - 7/15/2007 2:40:04 PM   
    Level


    Posts: 25145
    Joined: 3/3/2006
    Status: offline
    quote:

    ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

    quote:

    ORIGINAL: Level


     snip 
    How to cope..... either talk to your family, very bluntly but kindly, or stay away from them as much as possible. Get a lock for your room. Meditate. Go out and walk.


    we must have been typing the same thing at the same time......one of us needs to be vewwy vewwy afraid  


    That would be you.

    _____________________________

    Fake the heat and scratch the itch
    Skinned up knees and salty lips
    Let go it's harder holding on
    One more trip and I'll be gone

    ~~ Stone Temple Pilots

    (in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)
    Profile   Post #: 20
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