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RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 4:53:48 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mstrjx
I can't speak for everyone (nor should I), but I would say there are those that play in public because they really don't have anywhere to go, short of getting a hotel room.

I never really thought about that as being a reason. Good point. I know that's not why everyone does it but it does make sense. Thanks for the answer.......luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 21

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 4:57:19 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
It's a good question, and I want to say first off that I don't find it offensive at all. It's obviously just something you are curious about hearing from different perspective.

Thank you very much for saying so, LadyPact. I'm glad my motivation is obvious.

quote:

I can say that I have also had experiences with public play that My connection with My submissive was so strong that I have completely forgotten that other people were in the room. I've completely forgotten about the observation by others and only come back to the realization that they were there after the scene was over. These experiences are great because you get the best of both worlds.

Wow....that must be amazing that you can totally forget you're being observed. I never thought of it getting to that point.

quote:

To answer your question directly, however, no, I would not give up playing if I could no longer do it publicly. The play itself is more important to Me than the enviornment in which it occurs. There would be a sliver of disappointment that certain things would be lost.... The exhibitionism, the freedom, the connection made with the observers, but more important to Me would be the fact that I wouldn't be giving up everything.

Thanks so much for your answer. It really makes sense to me

.........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 22

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 5:45:26 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Wow....that must be amazing that you can totally forget you're being observed.

I tend to only play with people I share a deep connection with, usually only a primary partner. Forgetting their are others once we get going happens pretty often depending on the scene. Heck in the most intense scene I have ever done I forgot I was human.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 23

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 7:17:56 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I'd be happier with only private play than I would with only public play. I used to play in public a LOT...almost exclusively. Now, I don't as much. This past year, I've probably played less than a dozen times in a public dungeon.

May I ask why?

Why I played in public a lot or why I don't any longer?

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 24

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 9:23:22 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I'd be happier with only private play than I would with only public play. I used to play in public a LOT...almost exclusively. Now, I don't as much. This past year, I've probably played less than a dozen times in a public dungeon.

May I ask why?

Why I played in public a lot or why I don't any longer?

Master Fire

Why you don't any longer. Sorry for the confusion there. Someone accused me earlier of asking folks to justify why they wish to play publicly because I said "May I ask why?" What I really meant was not why you did but why you now don't

. I wasn't clear enough. I was just curious why you no longer do so much, yes. Thanks for asking for clarification and I hope you don't mind me asking that........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 25

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/16/2007 9:42:11 PM

Vancouver_cinful

Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline

I concur with Master Fire on this 100%.
Cin

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

I'd be happier with only private play than I would with only public play. I used to play in public a LOT...almost exclusively. Now, I don't as much. This past year, I've probably played less than a dozen times in a public dungeon.

Of course, I'm assuming private is with the partners of my choice. If I choose to play with one and have others there, that's still private to me. Public = social or public dungeon. Private = my home OR by invitation only.

Master Fire

_____________________________

Cin

quote:

My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 26

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 3:15:26 AM

SirMichealspeach

Posts: 73
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline

I would hate the thought of having to choose. I am very much an exobisionist(sp). while Master and I don't get to go to clubs per say that often, we have had many play parties here in our dungeon for our local group and being the good host and hostess we are, we always do a scene for our guest. hehehehe..... also we have done D/s scenes on open webcam at a webcam site we frequent. while web cam is not the same experience as a live audience it does lend to knowing someone is watching which is exciting for me.
On the other hand, Our private time is extremely important also. We do a different type of scene when alone, more intimate, usually more intense. I cannot (nor will He allow) go to subspace when there is an audience. the aftercare is too important to Him.
so there are pros and cons i guess to both situations...i would not want to give either.
peach

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)

Post #: 27

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 4:04:27 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: bschwimmer

i am a slut and will play any where

hehehehehe.... he said slut!

(*laughing* sorry... just playing off your family guy pic. I'll answer the question in more detail - more seriously - in a minute.)

juliet

(in reply to bschwimmer)

Post #: 28

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 6:05:52 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

ok. Now, my more serious response:

First of all, there are things we do privately that we don't necessarily do publically. However, the reason we don't do these things publically is that the venues tend to prohibit what we do, not because we wouldn't do them. (We have done those things in public in other venues that were more open to the possibilities before, so that's not that big an issue.

We play in public venues - and would continue to play in public venues because
1. We don't have the equipment (crosses, spanking benches and so on) that they do in public locations. We love spanking benches but since our private venues would tend to be my home, hotels, or my folks' when they're in FL for the winter, it's not like spanking benches are really workable at any of those places. I have other family members who would ask, and I don't want to explain, so that's out.

2. We go to socialize. Those folks are our friends. We do other things together as well - bbqs, dinner at each other's homes, boating, getting together for drinks, etc. We just happen to have this one interest that gets a bit kinky.

3. When we play publically, the moment he says "take off your clothes," my entire world narrows to the point where I see just him. There's no one else around as far as I'm concerned. On top of that, he uses a blindfold for me, so my world is narrowed even further to just what I'm lying on, the things I feel hit me and out of whatever may be going on in the room, all I hear is him.

4. I'm not so much the exhibitionist. However, what I do love is that when we're done with everything from undressing to aftercare and putting away the toys to dressing again, there are our friends. The submissives amongst us, laugh and compare marks. The dominants among us praise the marks, congratulate the person who administered them, and it's all very... family-like. (I wish I had another word to describe it that didn't sound so odd, but honestly, that's what it feels like - a group of people completely accepting of us and what we do that it feels like home should feel)

If I had to give up private play, I'd still want to play in public. This isn't about where I play as much as it is that I do play. And if public is all I could have, I'd still do what I do and find ways to become more intimate in those venues. I think that if everyone were denied (howEVER that would work) private play, venues would open their rules a bit more to include things penetrative. They'd find ways to deal with the obvious bodily fluid issues and we'd move forward anyway.

I'm a submissive. I'm a masochist. He's a dominant. He's a sadist. None of that's going to change simply because one of our avenues of exploring these sides of ourselves and living our lives to the fullest has been denied us.

juliet

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 29

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 7:25:29 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
Why you don't any longer. Sorry for the confusion there. Someone accused me earlier of asking folks to justify why they wish to play publicly because I said "May I ask why?" What I really meant was not why you did but why you now don't. I wasn't clear enough. I was just curious why you no longer do so much, yes. Thanks for asking for clarification and I hope you don't mind me asking that........luci

Clarification: I don't play MUCH. I do still play, just not anywhere near as often. And I don't for a combination of several reasons.
1) A lot of my play was tied to being an officer of a group. Lots and lots of newbies came in and we always made an effort to show them that their fears were often unfounded. For many, the fear was that a scene, ANY scene, would be too much for them. So, I played, and played softly, with a LOT of people to show them that is doesn't HAVE to be that way. Now, that kind of play just frustrates the hell out of me. Since I'm not an officer of the group anymore, I feel no obligation to cater to anyone. Finding a partner to match me that I'm interested in playing with (and vice versa) is hard.

2) After that, I met someone who really did match me. We played a lot in private due to the time we could spend together and some surgery of his. When he got shipped out (Army), I went through a period of mourning and a huge "not him" phase and so I didn't play at all, public or private. After having that connection and having someone who was even somewhere close to match me, playing with just anyone wasn't going to be fulfilling. I did spiritual work, but that's different than play.

Now, I'm beginning to play in public again a little, on MY terms this time.If I have a partner who matches me and I'm following the rules of the dungeon, I'll play. But, circumstances dictate that there are few in each group where there is a mutual interest. In one group, most are taken, in another, most are new or sensual players. I think this will change after my move, or at least I'm hoping it will. But even then, I have no idea if I'll play much in public. I have no qualms about it...it will simply happen if it's meant to.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 30

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 12:40:24 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Public "play" is only public for the observer. Between us, there is no difference in how we interact, what we do, or the intensity; whether playing in our home or anywhere else, with or sans observers

Very interesting. I've never thought about that. I guess I just assumed there would BE differences. It's great that there is not.

quote:

the primary reason for going out is social. We both enjoy that aspect. We are both very social. Sometimes we'll just go and not play but just socialize; especially is play space is limited

I'm finding several people are saying the social aspect is very important to them. That makes alot of sense.

quote:

Were it not available we'd miss it, but not to the detriment of our relationship.

Wonderful

quote:

I'm getting to an age where there is nothing like a good nap after a few intense hours in a dungeon

Master had a good laugh at this. He knows how you feel

. Thanks for the very informative answer..........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 31

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 12:47:13 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado
Do you have a 20 foot rig, a working medieval rack, a spinning cross, a 500 watt sound system, professional lighting, a vacuum bed, electric chair, waxing table, power hoists, 30 feet of headroom, and so forth in your private play space?

Why, yes I do

. Seriously, no I don't but wanting to use them still would not attract me to a public play space. I totally understand why it would for others, however.

quote:

If not, then why are you expecting other people to justify such an obvious choice?

Well, first of all, it's not an "obvious" choice. That's kind of the point of this thread. It's not "obvious" for my Master and I or many others. The fact that all the equipment is available simply isn't enough to make us decide to "go public." Secondly, please read post #25. I wasn't expecting anyone to justify any choice. What I meant to ask was why she had stopped playing pubicly, not why she would want to in the first place. I think it's obvious by my OP that I am NOT wishing anyone "justify" anything. Simple curiosity is what motivated this thread.............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Alumbrado)

Post #: 32

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 12:50:18 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael
There is something about sitting on a couch talking about politics and hearing some woman groaning/screaming from having her cunt tortured

Wow, I'm sure. That does sound very appealing I must say.

quote:

I love playing the hard core dominant with the slaviest of slaves but it is much more of a turn on in public

Ok....I see how that would be the case. Thanks for your answer.............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to SimplyMichael)

Post #: 33

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 12:55:34 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra
When we play publically, the moment he says "take off your clothes," my entire world narrows to the point where I see just him. There's no one else around as far as I'm concerned. On top of that, he uses a blindfold for me, so my world is narrowed even further to just what I'm lying on, the things I feel hit me and out of whatever may be going on in the room, all I hear is him

Interesting. There have been several who have responded that their view/world "narrows" as you have described so that they really aren't all that aware that others are even present. I can't imagine being able to do that and not be aware of them but, obviously, it's not something I've ever experienced so I'm not positive about that.

quote:

I'm not so much the exhibitionist. However, what I do love is that when we're done with everything from undressing to aftercare and putting away the toys to dressing again, there are our friends. The submissives amongst us, laugh and compare marks. The dominants among us praise the marks, congratulate the person who administered them, and it's all very... family-like. (I wish I had another word to describe it that didn't sound so odd, but honestly, that's what it feels like - a group of people completely accepting of us and what we do that it feels like home should feel)

Very cool. That must be a great feeling. Thank you for your wonderful answer, juliet. I always totally enjoy your responses............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 34

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 12:58:04 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam
Now, I'm beginning to play in public again a little, on MY terms this time.If I have a partner who matches me and I'm following the rules of the dungeon, I'll play. But, circumstances dictate that there are few in each group where there is a mutual interest. In one group, most are taken, in another, most are new or sensual players. I think this will change after my move, or at least I'm hoping it will. But even then, I have no idea if I'll play much in public. I have no qualms about it...it will simply happen if it's meant to

Thank you for explaining, MasterFireMaam

............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 35

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 1:09:29 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

In my life I have mostly been a private submissive. Public is fine, and what I choose to do now that I am on my own. Public makes meeting new people easier, and safer in my view. But I am not an exhibitionist, nor a voyeur, so public as such is not a draw for me. I will always prefer to do this within a private relationship.
I like sex with my bdsm and that isn't going to happen in front of a crowd.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 36

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 1:44:46 PM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

I am a full exhibitionist and a community oriented person in general.
I do very much enjoy playing in public, and watching others play in public.
It is fun to be on display, but it's also fun watching others for me.
In watching others it's shown me things I'd not tried before, and allowed me to see things I'd have never dreamed of trying till I asked the sub about what was the thing they enjoyed about something.
For example saline injections are horribly painful to watch, and probably worse to experience, but in watching someone do that and hearing she loved how her twat felt for three days after was enough I'm motivated to want to experience it now.
It's alos stimulating to see others play.

To answer your question yes, I'd still wear fetish clothing if no one but my Dom would see them as I already do that when we play privately.
Over all the only thing it would change is the level of noise I could have in my play.
I live in an apartment and the Dom I'm dating lives in a vanilla room mate situation.
If we did not play in the public dungeon most things like floggers would just stay in the toy bag due to the loud noises they make.
I'd also miss being able to watch him playing with other people.
It's not so much it's erotically stimulating to watch him play, but more like watching a Meistro (sp?) conduct a symphony for me.
So over all while I love public play who I am goes waaaayyy deeper than just the exhibitionist in me.
I would still play and dress basically the same as I do now.
Mostly I'd miss the community spirit more than gawking at others or being seen playing.
suzanne

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 37

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 1:50:26 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
I am not an exhibitionist, nor a voyeur, so public as such is not a draw for me. I will always prefer to do this within a private relationship.
I like sex with my bdsm and that isn't going to happen in front of a crowd.

This is exactly the perspective we share, kyst. I think it's great that so many enjoy the public aspects and have really been curious about why they do so (and why folks such as yourself do not). I have gotten a wide variety of answers here. Thank you all........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 38

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 1:50:34 PM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

Interesting. There have been several who have responded that their view/world "narrows" as you have described so that they really aren't all that aware that others are even present. I can't imagine being able to do that and not be aware of them but, obviously, it's not something I've ever experienced so I'm not positive about that.

I'm another who can say after about the first 5 minutes of play my field ends up about a 6ft circle around me and the Dom I'm playing with.
There have been many times people came and said something about watching us and I never even saw them there, but they said I was looking right at them.
I think once the energy exchange hits and the two of us go on the journey not much other than the Dom gets in as I'm so focused on him.

(in reply to slaveluci)

Post #: 39

RE: Hypothetical Question................ - 7/17/2007 1:55:00 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: onestandingstill
In watching others it's shown me things I'd not tried before, and allowed me to see things I'd have never dreamed of trying till I asked the sub about what was the thing they enjoyed about something.
For example saline injections are horribly painful to watch, and probably worse to experience, but in watching someone do that and hearing she loved how her twat felt for three days after was enough I'm motivated to want to experience it now

Wow...now that's a good "side effect" of public play! Seeing things done that you formerly wouldn't have considered participating in and then becoming intrigued enough by them to change your mind. No one has mentioned this yet, I think.

quote:

Over all the only thing it would change is the level of noise I could have in my play.
I live in an apartment and the Dom I'm dating lives in a vanilla room mate situation.
If we did not play in the public dungeon most things like floggers would just stay in the toy bag due to the loud noises they make

A good point some others have noted.

quote:

It's not so much it's erotically stimulating to watch him play, but more like watching a Meistro (sp?) conduct a symphony for me

Beautiful image

quote:

Mostly I'd miss the community spirit more than gawking at others or being seen playing

Thank you for this great answer, suzanne. I think you are in good company as several other posters mentioned the community spirit/social aspect. Sounds like it's much fun for you. Congrats...........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 40

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