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RE: Bartering business for service - 7/20/2007 9:41:19 PM   
ModeratorEleven


Posts: 2007
Joined: 8/14/2005
Status: offline 		Settle down, kids.

XI

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This mod goes to eleven.

(in reply to goddessAVA)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/20/2007 10:11:57 PM   
goddessAVA


Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		I love my sisters in the sex industry and have brought them into my playspace
before, there is no divide between  escorts and Dominas on a business level, it is just a different approach to what we are providing.  Having not actually sessioned with an elite pro-I do not know how you can feel qualified to comment on what a session entails.  You make an awful lot of blanket statements.  Good for you that you want a relationship, many cannot do this. 

Bdsm is a desire that does not go away anymore then being gay does, however many men are married in sexless relationships and need to act out their desire to submit to a women.  I feel the money exchanged pays for trust AND goodbye-thus not complicating either lives more but mutually satisfying needs.  The lack of even exchange comes in when the other person is completely vulnerable in bondage or having their cock fucked or whatever-the Domme WILL do as she pleases, hopefully you are ok with that.

I consider myself a successful business woman and I am proud of that, marketing, investments, advertising all play a part in what I do.  I also play for fun-I have had couples in my studio, other Doms playing with subs, my own pets.  This is why I post here-there is a very blurry line in the pro dominas life between business and pleasure, perhaps more then other areas of business.  I am experienced in business and I can say with authority that this IS different.  It is not good or bad, just not 50/50-if you ever got involved with a top Pro-Domme, you might understand, until then I refuse to take your opinion seriously as you know not what you speak of.  At the very least read some of the posts on max fisch to get an idea of this world.

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cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/21/2007 12:56:12 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		Ava,

I appreciate that you're proud of what you do.  You seem to think that because I don't use the services of professionals, I am therefore green in this regard.  Indeed, this is a reasonable deduction, but it is also wrong.  I've played with women who are professionals.  I'm not going to get into details of how this came to be.  Although not an expert, I do have some insight that comes from experience.  Whether you take my opinions seriously or not is entirely up to you.  I will say that playing with a professional is nothing like playing with a relationship partner.  The two are completely different things.  Sex, fluid bonding, and many other things I find essential in my BDSM play are not the domain of professionals.  And of course, there is a totally different kind of intimacy with a romantic partner who you wake up with in the morning.  You mentioned that some people don't want to or are in a situation where they cannot engage in BDSM in a relationship.  Professional dominas certainly do fulfill this need.  We've seemingly drifted way off the topic of the OP so I'll just concede that our views and approaches to BDSM are probably different.  Neither your approach or mine is any less valid.  They are simply different.

ElanSubdued.

(in reply to goddessAVA)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/21/2007 10:29:19 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		Ava,

I hate how the Collar Me message boards only leave the edit button functional for a few minutes after one posts.  So, just to clarify... :-)

I hope you don't take my tone as antagonistic.  While writing, I was a wee bit miffed, but my intent is to communicate politely, respectfully, and intelligently.  Therefore, I should have simply written "I don't use professional dominas, but I have had a few experiences."  I apologize for the fluffy (and thus somewhat condescending) way that I actually made this statement.

Something else I wrote also came across oddly or at least unclearly.  I wrote:  "You mentioned that some people don't want to or are in a situation where they cannot engage in BDSM in a relationship.  Professional dominas certainly do fulfill this need."  What I mean is that there are those who want to practice BDSM, but who cannot or do not want to do this in a committed, romantic relationship.  You and I pretty much agree here and yes, professional dominas fulfill this need.

Where I clash with many professional dominas is over style and approach.  For example, someone who calls their clients pathetic, unworthy, or any other derogative label along these lines instantly causes me to raise an eyebrow.  Likewise, when professionals outright demand tributes and gifts, and make it appear that their primary goal is to bleed client's pocketbooks dry, this also tends to make me suspicious.  Yes, I realize these are kinks for a great many submissives, but these are also the same techniques that usurers and scammers (who label themselves pro dommes) use.

I'm much more comfortable with professional dommes who advertise in a straightforward way.  These dommes state their services and their rates, and describe why someone would want to session with them.  This seems, for want of a better word, "professional".  There is much less chance for ethics problems with this approach.  (Albeit, even someone who appears on the up-and-up may be a thief.)

As before, I'll concede that you and I probably see these issues differently.  Still, it is unlikely that you or anyone will change my opinion here.  If someone acts like a scammer (regardless of whether they are), my protective shields are going to be up and I'll likely exercise extreme caution.

Elan.

(in reply to goddessAVA)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/21/2007 4:25:21 PM   
goddessAVA


Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		well I have been rethinking things as well, and I realized anyone who wants to session in exchange for a metal birdcage or bed of nails ala Mistress Mir-I am there.
Seriously-your shield should go up-pampering and spoiling someone who demands it are not your thing-cool, move on.  I really enjoy it-it contributes to my erotic excitement, taboo as that is, as does full toilet, leaving marks etc..... I do not judge ANYONES approach here, we are adults, we are responsible for ourselves.  I am demanding, bossy, spoiled, caring, conservative with edge play and safety-I have a degree in Biochemistry, years of experience in Horticulture, 3 cats and a stable of boys I play with for fun.  My point is we are all multi-layered and complex, our sexual drives come from god knows where, but they do not dimish or go away.  This diversity is what makes BDSM beautiful in my opinion. 
The elite Dommes, and I am not putting myself in their class as they have MANY more years experience and have contributed heart and soul so much to bdsm, do not post rates i.e. tributes.  They are who I look up to and want to mold myself after. I also want to share all the things I have learned with anyone who asks-i.e. the op, as I love supporting and learning from those here who know things or have done things I have not.  As I said, I know this is a tired subject but I will always answer when a comment is directed my way.

all this boils down to I am right and you are wrong! JUST KIDDING-lol

_____________________________

Philadelphia's premier Enema Nurse
cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/21/2007 7:41:51 PM   
ohioslave4u


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/25/2005
Status: offline 		i for one will never do it again, after making a nice cage, stretching rack, cbt chair, combo spanking bench, installing a suspension unit including everything, i got a hole 10 minutes on top of what i payed for, wow, that equals to about 10 hrs of welding grinding painting, plus around 7 or 8 hundred dollars in materials for 10 minutes, no more get me once your fault, the second time my fault

(in reply to goddessAVA)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/21/2007 11:29:05 PM   
GuidingLite


Posts: 233
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline 		"I have the pussy, I MAKE THE RULES!"

thats right girl!! and all the boys just hate us for it! hahah

(in reply to goddessAVA)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/22/2007 9:01:20 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline
quote:

Ava:  all this boils down to I am right and you are wrong!  JUST KIDDING-lol


Well... now we're getting somewhere!

Side note:  I love spoiling dommes (including those who demand this), but context is important here.  If the demand is a ruse just to get money or to be abusive, that puts a damper on the dynamics immeditely - at least for me.  Any time I want to have service and money demanded from me, I can just go to the local tax office.  The government does financial domination and humiliation far better than any domme I've ever met.  The only problem with the government's appoach is that it's non concensual.  In other words, if I don't go to them, they'll find me anyway.  And indeed,  nobody would likely argue that the government isn't a spoiled little bitch.

Elan.

(in reply to goddessAVA)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/22/2007 9:09:24 AM   
ElanSubdued


Posts: 1511
Status: offline 		GuidingLite,

quote:

goddessAVA:  I have the pussy, I MAKE THE RULES!

GuidingLite:  that's right girl!! and all the boys just hate us for it! hahah


No, we don't hate you for it.  We just learn.  And fast.  You might catch the young ones, but those of us with even a shred of experience avoid bitchy, high maintenance women and usurers like the plague.  It's a bit like the community garbage dump that is hidden behind pretty trees.  Sure, one might accidentally drive by, but once the foul smell hits, you purposely avoid that road in future.  Not a cut down.  I'm Just sayin'. :-)

(Note, there is a huge difference between cutely demanding and high maintenance.  The prior can be rather endearing, while the latter is almost always intolerable.)

Elan.


< Message edited by ElanSubdued -- 7/22/2007 9:29:51 AM >

(in reply to GuidingLite)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/22/2007 1:24:22 PM   
TheMistressL


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline 		Your skills are worthless if the Mistress holds no value to what you have to offer. So if what you have to offer is only your skill then you need to seek a Mistress who holds value to what you have to offer. It's not the amount of cost it's the value of it to each. Is it worth it to do an hour session for making a cross? That's up to you. Every Mistress is different. I personally have no desire for a cross so that would be of no value to me. Some other Mistress may have a high desire for one and might offer you 2 hours of a session for one. There is no definite answer. If that's what you are offering then you have to seek a Mistress who desires what you have to offer. Plain and simple.

I don't get the debate of Pro Dom and lifestyle Dom here. The only difference between the two is I get paid for what I love doing. That's my choice. It is ridiculous to think anyless of that. Like there's some sort of superiority to do the same for free? Whatever makes you happy. Exchange is exchange whatever form you are using. Though it maybe true some Pro Doms are not lifestyle but it's also true some lifestyle Doms are not really Doms. Really, whatever. It's a caddy debate.

(in reply to nikkicd10)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/22/2007 1:28:47 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		Thank you for a well stated opinion, Mistress L.
You certainly made your point very well.

(in reply to TheMistressL)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/22/2007 1:32:47 PM   
TheMistressL


Posts: 6
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued
Side note:  I love spoiling dommes (including those who demand this), but context is important here.  If the demand is a ruse just to get money or to be abusive, that puts a damper on the dynamics immeditely - at least for me.  Any time I want to have service and money demanded from me, I can just go to the local tax office.  The government does financial domination and humiliation far better than any domme I've ever met.  The only problem with the government's appoach is that it's non concensual.  In other words, if I don't go to them, they'll find me anyway.  And indeed,  nobody would likely argue that the government isn't a spoiled little bitch.

Elan.



HAHA!

(in reply to ElanSubdued)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Bartering business for service - 7/22/2007 4:02:05 PM   
goddessAVA


Posts: 221
Joined: 11/2/2006
Status: offline 		yes it is caddy-meow, I shouldn't have gotten sucked in but the op resembles a certain someone I turned down for this because he frankly skeeved me, then well the rest is history.  Love how you put it-its time to walk away kisses for stating the truth

a High Maintanence in EVERY sense of the word woman and PROUD (gee somehow I have still managed to find goodplaymates, guess they must not be real submissives)

< Message edited by goddessAVA -- 7/22/2007 4:06:03 PM >

_____________________________

Philadelphia's premier Enema Nurse
cleaning out America's assholes one at a time

(in reply to TheMistressL)
Profile   Post #: 53
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