"Willing to relocate"

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BossySSBBW -> "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:28:06 PM)
Do any other Dommes have problems with sub/slaves having that in their profiles, they contact you, state that moving is no problem, then a few weeks into communicating, they back out of the relocation thing? Are they just too stupid to say, this is not working out, you are not what I was looking for, I don't want the same things as you and just use it as a convienent excuse? People, get some balls and be truthful. I guess that would be too much to ask for them to do. Sorry for the rant. :)

MasterFireMaam -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:34:33 PM)
Why are you talking to them about relocation after only a few weeks? You're asking them to uproot their lives. In my opinion, it should take longer than that...no matter what the context of the relationship. Master Fire

GreedyEvilBych -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:38:05 PM)
I have guys IM me stating in the FIRST conversation they are willing & ready to relocate...to me this just says "Im homeless. or about to be" and I want to mooch of you for awhile...NO THANK YOU. I ignore those emails so fast, it will make their head spin.

bandit25 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:40:44 PM)
LOL!!! Thanks a lot GEB...I was swallowing a mouthful of Diet Coke and choked when I read your post!

GreedyEvilBych -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:41:59 PM)
lol sorry bandit!

Devoura -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:43:41 PM)
Personally, 'Willing to Relocate' means that it's an option in my future. Moving in with someone you've just "met" online seems like it's just asking for trouble. I'd have to know this person -in real life- for quite sometime before deciding to move in with them. Just my two cents ~Dev

GrizzlyBear -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:45:23 PM)
What "willing to relocate" should mean, is that for the right situation, they would move. What it should be unlikely to mean, is that they are desparate enough that they will move anywhere for anyone. Perhaps you just didn't turn out to be the right situation.

DrkJourney -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:55:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BossySSBBW Do any other Dommes have problems with sub/slaves having that in their profiles, they contact you, state that moving is no problem, then a few weeks into communicating, they back out of the relocation thing? Are they just too stupid to say, this is not working out, you are not what I was looking for, I don't want the same things as you and just use it as a convienent excuse? People, get some balls and be truthful. I guess that would be too much to ask for them to do. Sorry for the rant. :) I could be all wrong, but I took this post to mean that they have willing to relocate within their profiles, not that they are in active discussions for them to actually move. What I read was they were just in the normal talks of getting to know each other, then all of a sudden, the person she is talking to changes their minds about starting a relationship....and uses the fact that he can't move as an excuse. If this is the case, all I can say is you are fortunate on two levels...one, at least he is letting you down easy, the second is, at least he telling you "something". I would much rather someone come up with an excuse than to just disappear and you spend time worrying if the person is alive or dead before you just come to the conclusion that it's just another flake. Just my opinion...of course....lol

hereyesruponyou -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 3:58:57 PM)
I find the best way to deal with these types is to ask for more than i really want from them and see the response. If they are not reasonable then they are either fantasizing or nuts and i don't want either of those....

DrkJourney -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 4:05:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hereyesruponyou I find the best way to deal with these types is to ask for more than i really want from them and see the response. If they are not reasonable then they are either fantasizing or nuts and i don't want either of those.... I agree totally....I don't call them on it though...I just let them go on....eventually they will stop emailing....and when they come back (usually when they are "in the mood" again)...and they usually do, I use my "get out of jail free" card. I tell them that we obviously aren't looking for the same things, since they could go for weeks without contact...wish them well, and that usually takes care of the majority of them. Cuts down on the back and forth of them trying to convience me that they are indeed serious....I just let them prove it first, then nail them...lol

MsOpal -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 4:12:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Devoura Personally, 'Willing to Relocate' means that it's an option in my future. Moving in with someone you've just "met" online seems like it's just asking for trouble. I'd have to know this person -in real life- for quite sometime before deciding to move in with them. Just my two cents ~Dev While what Dev said here is really a generally good rule of thumb and I would never actually advise anyone to do otherwise; ... I "met" Argent on July the 3rd, 1979 but we actually didn't really see each other except in group situations and then it was only 3 or 4 times, until the following September when I called and invited him to my house for dinner. He still hasn't gone home!!! He was totally moved in by New Year's and we married in Oct of 1981. After raising 2 UMs we moved into a 24 7 Ds relationship in 1998, had a recollaring in 2005, and in exactly 1 week from today we will welcome "our girl" into our home 24 7. We met her on CM in April, she has visited here one time. Too fast? It sure doesn't feel like it. Not a good idea for everyone, but sometimes you "just know when it feels right". She is NOT the first girl we considered, but none ever felt like this does. We are not her 'first' consideration either. She did not jump into the first situation that popped up and we did not ask the first girl we met - she has been looking for 4+ years, we have been looking for almost 3 years. She is relocating 2,000+ miles for us. We made the arrangements and have/are paying all her expenses. She has her own room here and "owes" us absolutely nothing except her honesty once she arrives. But with 2,000 miles between us, jobs, plane fares, (plus serious flying phobia) there was just no place for the relationship to go until we were together. Maybe Argent and I, given our past history with each other, make this sort of decision quicker than some and so far luckily for us the one that got us together turned out pretty good. Since we met her here in April we have probably actually talked to her more than many husbands and wives talk to each other in real life. The 2 and 3 hours on the phone ( not phone sex, just talking, asking questions, learning about families, likes and dislikes in all areas not just Ds and bdsm, learning about childhoods, schools, growing up, favorite foods and so on.) Plus the shorter daytime chats and lunch time phone calls, the ims just to say hi. We "know" her as well as we can from here. So we all decided it was time and taking longer in an LDR was not going to make it any better/easier to cement a good solid relationship. It might not be what worrks for everyone, and we cannot guarentee it is 100% right for us. But I knew my 1st husband for over 2 years before we got married and it was a disaster from the get go! Anyway - just the other side of the coin. As for the will or will not relocate - I agree it really should mean "will relocate for the right person when it seems right". I too get gentlemen almost begging to move here (so I can feed, clothe, take care of, play, whatever else) although my profile clearly says boys must be local and will not be live in. Go figure. MsOpal

LadyHeart -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 5:25:18 PM)
I advise people to leave the "willing to relocate" option blank. In my opinion, it is just an invitation that attracts the sort of person that keeps others hanging at the end of a computer keyboard for months to jerk them around, and it indicates desperation. If a connection is good, the practicalities can look after themselves. Why hang up a sign that says "mess with me"? :)) LH

thetammyjo -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 6:11:49 PM)
Personally I am incredibly wary of anyone who announces they will relocate. I think it either bespeaks of lack of consideration of the risks involved for all parties involved OR it bespeaks of someone who is running or hiding from things in their current life. Both of those scream immature to me and while I may adore younger men (and women) I do not like immature ones.

MistressSassy66 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/18/2007 6:43:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyEvilBych I have guys IM me stating in the FIRST conversation they are willing & ready to relocate...to me this just says "Im homeless. or about to be" and I want to mooch of you for awhile...NO THANK YOU. I ignore those emails so fast, it will make their head spin. You are so right More often than not they want to move in right away. Usually they are fleeing some foreign country and have "ben slave me hole life"...lol right okay,no thanks I'll pass. I have made one exception but he lives in the states and W/we have been chatting for 2 months so far...While I am not ready(for moving him in) after 2 months of chatting it shows that he is serious,even got a second job to pay his own way,again that shows seriousness on his part. When I see that kind of devotion then I am willing to make an exception. IMO chatting/phone calls for at least 4-6 months seems appropriate,but thats not written in stone as sometimes P/people just click right away.

MadameDahlia -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 5:27:56 AM)
Relocation... Strange sense of deja vu. About two days ago I received this email from someone in Ireland: "may i kneel in front of Your feet Mistress please? i'm seriously looking for a 24/7 live in slavery position Mistress and i can relocate." Ummmmmm... No. You may not. What on earth are people thinking when they send this sort of thing as their first email to someone? Ohhh right. They're not thinking at all! To be honest it sort of creeps me out. Yes, sometimes it can work out gloriously. Yes, sometimes you find the diamond in the rough. But I get the strange sensation that the vast amount of others are looking for a free ride or perhaps interested in jumping state lines to avoid their parole officer. And those who, in their first email, want to come racing to you from overseas seem a little too zealous, thank you very much. I am not your Green Card factory. Creepy. Just plain creepy.

EmpassionedRogue -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 6:19:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Devoura Personally, 'Willing to Relocate' means that it's an option in my future. Moving in with someone you've just "met" online seems like it's just asking for trouble. I'd have to know this person -in real life- for quite sometime before deciding to move in with them. Agreed. Completely. that, and the fact that i really would like to get out of this dinky town, to an actual city. and at some point i will. but the question is to where. that i havnt befun to work out. yet.

littlesarbonn -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 6:20:36 AM)
I've had "willing to relocate" on my profile from time to time (and it may be there now for all I know). For me, it doesn't mean my desire and intention is to pack up the second some dominant decides that it's "time" for me to relocate. What it means is that I'm not tied to my present living condition, and that if the right person came along, I would consider moving closer to that person if all other things fell into place (like a job, for instance). For me, it's not a big deal because I've been in the educational system for so long doing graduate degrees. I'm getting close to being done, and then I pretty much have the option of moving wherever I want. So, yes, relocation is an option for me, but even though I'm a submissive, it's most likely, and definitely, going to be on my own terms as I am not about to be beholden to someone I don't know once I arrive in an unfamiliar part of the country/world.

DrkJourney -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 7:56:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66 You are so right More often than not they want to move in right away. Usually they are fleeing some foreign country and have "ben slave me hole life"...lol right okay,no thanks I'll pass. LOL you're killin' me....lol I also love the ones that are obviously from other countries...usually Africa, but claim they live here in the states....and want to come live with you on the first email. These people usually pick large cities.....usually one in your state. I've seen one guy change his location countless times to fit whomever he was talking to. I loved the one that wrote that he live in Merryland....lol I cornered him and he finally admitted that he live in Ghana....he said he did it because: "well look at the line at the top of the page, they all say that Ghana is a scam and that we are liers" I did it so you would give me a chance. LOL....way to go dude....lol

DrkJourney -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 7:57:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadameDahlia Relocation... Strange sense of deja vu. About two days ago I received this email from someone in Ireland: "may i kneel in front of Your feet Mistress please? i'm seriously looking for a 24/7 live in slavery position Mistress and i can relocate." Ummmmmm... No. You may not. What on earth are people thinking when they send this sort of thing as their first email to someone? Ohhh right. They're not thinking at all! To be honest it sort of creeps me out. Yes, sometimes it can work out gloriously. Yes, sometimes you find the diamond in the rough. But I get the strange sensation that the vast amount of others are looking for a free ride or perhaps interested in jumping state lines to avoid their parole officer. And those who, in their first email, want to come racing to you from overseas seem a little too zealous, thank you very much. I am not your Green Card factory. Creepy. Just plain creepy. heeeeey....I believe I got that same email....and I thought I was special...sniff sniff

Unrepentant1 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 11:16:42 AM)
I consider finding the right Domme the most important part, once you do that the rest can be fixed. I am willing to relocate, but you go and visit, get to know each other just like any other relationship, it just takes a bit longer.

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