RE: "Willing to relocate" (Full Version)

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SlND3R3LLA -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 12:02:03 PM)

Anyone that I become involved with would have to relocate.  There are just circumstances that make it impossible for us to move at this time.  I would not want someone to decide to do it right away, nor would I expect that to come up in the early conversations.  It takes so much time to get to know someone, more-so if they are far enough away for that to be a concern in the first place.  You have to meet, spend lots of time together, and take things slow.
 
I do have it in my profile, but I hope no one takes it to mean it is something I expect right off the bat.  I wouldn't expect someone in the vanilla world to move in quickly, my standards are no different because of the dynamic we are entering into.
 
Sin



LadyPact -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 1:30:14 PM)

(Using fast reply.)
 
I can't say I put much into the 'willing to relocate' mention.  Since I'm more of a mind to look for someone locally, at least within reasonable driving distance for occassional meetings before moving to something more permanent, I don't give relocation much thought.  It's enough of a task to find someone within a two or three hour drive that is genuine.



ready4srvce4all -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/19/2007 5:13:29 PM)

I put willing to relocate in my profile.  I have the opportunity to do so.  I'm not rich, but neither was I tied to the stake.  If you can relocate, why not state so?   My only advice to anyone putting "willing to relocate" in their profile is they not only better  be able to move, but also have the ability to move back, or survive where they went to, if things don't work out.  If you relocate and don't have a fall back plan, you could be homeless.   



MistressSassy66 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 10:22:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DrkJourney

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressSassy66

You are so right
More often than not they want to move in right away.
Usually they are fleeing some foreign country and have
"ben slave me hole life"...lol right okay,no thanks I'll pass.



LOL  you're killin' me....lol

I also love the ones that are obviously from other countries...usually Africa, but claim they live here in the states....and want to come live with you on the first email.  These people usually pick large cities.....usually one in your state.  I've seen one guy change his location countless times to fit whomever he was talking to.

I loved the one that wrote that he live in Merryland....lol   I cornered him and he finally admitted that he live in Ghana....he said he did it because: "well look at the line at the top of the page, they all say that Ghana is a scam and that we are liers"  I did it so you would give me a chance.

LOL....way to go dude....lol



I'm sorry I dont mean to kill you...just make you squirm...hehe

I know what you mean about the big cities...NY is common for My area,even
though I live in Maine and its a 6-8 hour drive,not exactly My area...Butt anyway
The dead give away that they come from a foreign country...should I even say this?   is the way they write,the terms and spelling are huge red flags,screen names can be a dead give away too.


I had one just today said he "would pay thousands dollars for extreme scene"
Ummm sure okay...I can use that kinda money,butt what on earth would cost that much for extreme scene?   AND    No I didnt ask....lmao..I'm sure I dont want to know...another thing I stay away from is the one's who want to be "mutilated"
I'm mean but not that mean. [8D]



BossySSBBW -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 10:27:13 AM)

When I originally posted this, I failed to say that to consider someone who could relocate I would have to communicate with them for more than six months, have at least two face to face visits not in my home, and have a lot of personal information about them to verify they are not sexual offenders (registered ones), child molesters, ex or current felons...etc.
I like where I live, my bills are minimal in that I have no debt.  Most people I talk to have rent, mortgage, etc. 
Also, I had my home built to accomodate my wheelchair.  Why would I think of moving to a place that would have to be completely remodeled?
I think that people who do list "willing to relocate" make sure they can stretch the ties that keep them where they are or cut them.  It does not mean they can't keep in touch with family and friends, even have visits to or from them.  Just know that it means starting over in a new place.
Thanks for all the comments.



Politesub53 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 10:30:45 AM)

Only thousands of dollars Ma`am ?.... Why not millions ?
And i could see a dead slave not being much use, except as a foot rest [:D]



DiurnalVampire -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 10:40:10 AM)

Whenever I spoke to someone overly willing to relocate I made sure they understood one thing about their move...It would not be into MY home. Being willing to relocate is fine, since for the right situation most people are.  But being willing and able to move into a realistic situation where you will be responsible for taking care of yourself makes most people think again. I have no interest in relocating someone to a 24/7 situation right off, I like living on my own. Eventually, after living nearby if things are working out I might have considered it (before Angel...) but if someone couldnt manage on their own for a few months to a year in an apartment of their own with a job then I didnt want to have anything to do with them.
Thats just me, though.
DV



MistressSassy66 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 10:53:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Politesub53

Only thousands of dollars Ma`am ?.... Why not millions ?
And i could see a dead slave not being much use, except as a foot rest [:D]



Millions...now your talking...lol

Actually...I could have the dead slave stuffed and use him as a coat rack.
Or maybe just stuff his you know what and mount it on the wall...and no I
dont mean literally,if that were the case I would mount him on My computer chair...lmao
Then there is always the fertilizer route in the flower garden....lol



Politesub53 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 11:04:29 AM)

Fertilizer Ma`am !  That adds a whole new meaning to help with the gardening. [;)]



thetammyjo -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 11:46:15 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Whenever I spoke to someone overly willing to relocate I made sure they understood one thing about their move...It would not be into MY home. Being willing to relocate is fine, since for the right situation most people are. But being willing and able to move into a realistic situation where you will be responsible for taking care of yourself makes most people think again. I have no interest in relocating someone to a 24/7 situation right off, I like living on my own. Eventually, after living nearby if things are working out I might have considered it (before Angel...) but if someone couldnt manage on their own for a few months to a year in an apartment of their own with a job then I didnt want to have anything to do with them.
Thats just me, though.
DV



Even though I do have a 24/7 slave who lives with us and would be open to adding more that's something everyone would have to be comfortable and ok with. That takes times, lots of time.

Not to mention the fact that my formal process or training is no guareentee to anything else and the test session itself is no promise of a training contract.

Why would anyone want to move for more getting to know me and my existing household? It makes no sense to me at all.



Deboyce -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 12:06:48 PM)

Geographic shackles have not encumbered me, I’ve lived in a number of places; Japan the United States, Spain, Saudi Arabia and a brief stay in Canada. My view is one goes where the challenges and rewards are the greatest but for the most part, it’the challenge I seek, far more so then the reward.



AdventurousLife -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 12:30:55 PM)


Wow, I'm quite surprised to see the sensitivity people have to those who are willing to relocate--- plus am amazed at the number of people who think this means you're running from the law or escaping some broken personal life. And I think its a big mistake to assume that because someone tells you they are willing to relocate they are desperate or not serious -- of expect to show up and live with you in a few weeks time.

On the contrary, it shows a level of seriousness-- if you value your interpersonal relationships sufficiently, then your job or where you live are likely not as important.

I think behind all of these negative impressions is the assumption that someone who is willing to relocate is therefore somehow flakey... probably because you would never do it?

I've been traveling much of my life-- childhood as an airforce brat resulted in me going to more than 12 schools in first thru 12th grade. I've been living in Seattle for about 15 years now, but am preparing to start traveling again. I can't imagine what I would be running from (well traffic is getting more and more congested).... and we are certainly focusing on where we're going-- oh the places we'll see! So, consequently, not only are we looking for people who are willing to relocate we're looking for people who are interested in a nomadic lifestyle. I am eager to spend several months in Berlin, then several months in Vienna, then several months in Bratislava, then several in Paris, or London, or a rural town in any of these countries, or Rio de Janeiro, or Buenos Aries or any of hundreds of cities I can't spell correctly. Seems like a pretty ideal life to me and so we're seizing it.

But before this international travel, we'll be doing a trial run traveling around the US. Which means we're willing to relocate near submissives who might be interested in us, and stay there for several months getting to know each other before asking them to uproot their lives and join us. I sure hope none of them assume we're intending to show up and live with them!

Personally, I can understand someone who has a job situation that doesn't allow them to easily relocate-- this was my situation for many years where there are only a few cities in the country where my job specialty is valued. But I think someone with a generic job, who is unwilling to relocate for a significant (long term collared relationship) has their priorities out of whack--- except of course if there is an obligation that ties you to a location. (EG: an ill family member)

But it should also go both ways- no reason doms shouldn't' be willing to relocate to subs.

It may be you have different priorities, or you think the hassle of relocation makes it not worth it... but in and of itself, a willingness to relocated should not have a stigma.... and prejudices about how these people must be running from someone just seem silly to me.








lateralist1 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/20/2007 12:54:41 PM)

I need the right sub to be willing to relocate to live near me. If he isn't within travelling distance.
Not with me.
I can't move to him.
So I check before I get into a relationship that it is possible.
I don't want to get into a relationship and have it fail because we can't be near enough to see each other regularly.



MisPandora -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/22/2007 12:52:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

I've had "willing to relocate" on my profile from time to time (and it may be there now for all I know). For me, it doesn't mean my desire and intention is to pack up the second some dominant decides that it's "time" for me to relocate. What it means is that I'm not tied to my present living condition, and that if the right person came along, I would consider moving closer to that person if all other things fell into place (like a job, for instance). For me, it's not a big deal because I've been in the educational system for so long doing graduate degrees. I'm getting close to being done, and then I pretty much have the option of moving wherever I want. So, yes, relocation is an option for me, but even though I'm a submissive, it's most likely, and definitely, going to be on my own terms as I am not about to be beholden to someone I don't know once I arrive in an unfamiliar part of the country/world.

I think we've had this topic come up before.  I think someone that is based in reality and opens themself up to the willingness to move realizes that in order to find their true fulfilment, they may need to change venues.  In this day and age, that's not too far fetched really, when you think about communicating with people all over the globe.



LadyIce -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/22/2007 1:05:11 PM)

I would have to know a submissive a very long time, and very well before I
would even consider relocating.
I think it would take a few years at least, it is just to big a committment.
I would not want someone to move from his job, support system, friends, etc. and
it did not work out.
That would be too much on my conscience.



Politesub53 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/22/2007 1:20:27 PM)

LadyIce..... With respect, if this was to be a D/s couple then no one would think twice. Even then though it can go wrong, i have a friend who left the UK to live in Australia with his girlfriend, she had moved there to work. Even though they had been together ages here, it still only lasted 4 weeks, as both felt the other had chnaged while they had been apart.

i have to say what Earthycouple and robert have embarked on was a very brave step, as it adds more dynamics to the equasion. ( i really hope that works out for you )

i would think its easier to make the move knowing you will be part of a couple. Even so its a risk moving in with someone local. [;)]



MHOO314 -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/22/2007 2:38:37 PM)

Yep, it ranks right up there with, Im bi but Im not, Im a Dom but Im not.



LadyIce -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/22/2007 2:40:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

Yep, it ranks right up there with, Im bi but Im not, Im a Dom but Im not.


Now that sums up most on here, thank you. 



bignipples2share -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/22/2007 6:47:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Whenever I spoke to someone overly willing to relocate I made sure they understood one thing about their move...It would not be into MY home. Being willing to relocate is fine, since for the right situation most people are.  But being willing and able to move into a realistic situation where you will be responsible for taking care of yourself makes most people think again. I have no interest in relocating someone to a 24/7 situation right off, I like living on my own. Eventually, after living nearby if things are working out I might have considered it (before Angel...) but if someone couldnt manage on their own for a few months to a year in an apartment of their own with a job then I didnt want to have anything to do with them.
Thats just me, though.
DV



I agree with you 100%.

I also get emails saying, they're visiting my area and want to get together. I just reply that I didn't realize I was on the Travel & Entertainment Brochure of sites to visit and that I certainly need to get my name removed.

My response these days is, "Oh, you're moving to my area. That's great. Contact me after you're moved and settled in and we'll do coffee in some nice crowded location. Talk to you then. Bye!"

~Big



DiurnalVampire -> RE: "Willing to relocate" (7/22/2007 7:12:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AdventurousLife


Wow, I'm quite surprised to see the sensitivity people have to those who are willing to relocate--- plus am amazed at the number of people who think this means you're running from the law or escaping some broken personal life. And I think its a big mistake to assume that because someone tells you they are willing to relocate they are desperate or not serious -- of expect to show up and live with you in a few weeks time.

The problem is that is EXACTLY the offers we get for those interested in relocating.  They dont wat to relocate to the area, they want to move in from day one. I cant tell you how many of the submisives I spoke with when I was still looking lost interest when I told them that a 24/7 position was a possibility but not a given and that they would have to work their way up there. There are also quite a few that want to relocate, give up wirking and become your housepet. The REALISTIC ones who I spoke with were few and far between, which is why I made the selection I did.
And I moved to him, ot becasue I had to, but because I chose to. Had I waited another year, after he graduates, he was considerig moving to my area. But I wanted out.  The stigmas that exist around the willingness to relocate unfortunately have a base in reality from what we are offered so often.

DV 



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