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When "real life" crashes in...or rings as the... - 7/20/2007 6:11:32 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		I'm looking for the subs/slaves point of view on this.  Dominants are free to chime in but if I scroll past it don't get your leather in a bunch. 

My slave and I have been at this on and off for 4 years.  Wwe decided a few months ago no more of the LDR, Wwe're going to do the big move within the year (International boundaries and country regulations and immigration don't make it a flash in the bucket type move.)  Today, Wwe had a problem.  It's a problem that has evidenced itself once before and today it went straight up to the Amytiville nerve in Me that turns My head around backward and makes Me want to drag a slave up the wall and leave him hanging upside down from the roof.

chia is really to blame for this lmao.  There's a thread about submissives seducing dominants that got dream and I worked up for a couple days now.  So today, Wwe're doing a little roleplay.  Naughty student and the Evil Substitute Teacher...chia is responsible for that too....(good scene idea by the way) ....so it's all set up via webcam and Wwe're having Oourselves a jolly good time and I'm just hitting My stride....you know that point where its all good and a flood below is imminent because damnit it's that good.  Brrrrrrrrrrrrrring Brrrrrrrrrrrrrring ...phone call...on his end...."That's my sister I have to leave, Mistress."  I stop mid ruler swing fully in shock...say frickin what?????  Ummmmmmm don't you see I'm in the zone here" I'm thinking.... then it changes to I'm gooing to kill a mofo.  Sooooooo I let him go coz it's that or I'm going to change to 1s and 0s and someone is going to get hurt real bad.  I'm a bear when someone comes between Me and My cunt fulfillment ( yes I like hard c words, ccccunt, ccccock,ccccunnilingus...it's a thing get over it). 

Much later after I THINK I've calmed down and he has returned Wwe sit down to have a little cam to cam chat.  I tell him I'm not pleased.  The Goddess Cunt is not pleased either.  he fires back with Oour agreement that he still has to fulfill his familial and work obligations while he is still there and these disappear once he gets here.  Normally, I'd have no problem with that...let's say if Wwe were reading websites together, playing on yahoo games, his Mom calls....go. see you later, pet. BUTTTTTTTT Wwe're playing here!!!!!!!! he's naked.... I have My globe and everything...and it's the sweet groove, you know like when the whip just seems to understand that you want it to land JUST THERE! he's going over to do some handy man crap. 

he thinks I'm being unreasonable and did the little pouty shit and the petulant, May i go to bed.  What I really wanted to do was slap the taste of out his mouth but again breathe positive energy in, negative energy out.  I really was going to say something I would later regret so I said go to bed but this topic is not over by any means. 

Okay question? Should I cyber slapped the living daylights out of him? No that wasn't the question...the question is....from the sub/slave perspective...am I being unreasonable?  I'm human. I err.  It's rare but it's been known to happen. 

< Message edited by NefertariReborn -- 7/20/2007 6:16:15 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:22:45 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		i am thoroughly convinced that i shall someday be responsible

for the fall of mankind itself..........oops, hold on, it's my phone,

i'll get right back with You.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:31:38 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Yes, actually, I believe yo are being unreasonable to be angry with him. IF you dont want to explain to everyone why he cant answer the phone while he is trying to get you off, thats your choice. However when its family, that phone call could be important.  If the agreement you had was to fulfill familial obligations than he does have to answer. If he decides to stay on the phone and shoot the shit with said sister instead of making it a quick cal to assure there is no emergency and saying he is in the middle of something and can call her back later... thats different.
Make rules. Ones that cannot be argued on either end. Cut and dry. With Angel, he is to answer phone calls from family and certain friends while we are together. If there is some immediate need for his attention, he has to go deal with it. He comes back when he is done. If they just want to chat, he is to tell them he is in the middle of something (or tel friends he is out with me) and that he'll cal them back when he is free.  It has worked out for nearly a year, and no one is any the wiser of his being controlled.

DV



_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:37:16 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		Thanks for your suggestions.  Duly noted.

< Message edited by NefertariReborn -- 7/20/2007 6:41:47 PM >

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:40:59 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i think you are wrong to be angry.  If you continue, you could cause him to resent you.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to NefertariReborn)
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RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:43:12 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		AS i said, you are wrong to be angry for his answering. The alternative is that he not answer, which was what I tried to say. I am not criticizing, and if you would get down off your soap box and read what *I* said, youd know that.  He did as you said he could, so you cant be angry. Its how he manages it AFTER he answers that you need to address.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to angelic)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:46:08 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		I am NOT angry that he answered the phone....I am angry about what happened AFTER he answered the call.  Let's just make that clear.  And I did realize your If which is why I edited even before you reposted. 

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:47:14 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		And sorry it's My soapbox, paid for it and everything, so I stay up here as long as I like.  But I do like your other suggestions just fine.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:47:50 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		There, sorry, my sincere apologies, it was that damn Wank Hu confirming
my order for Chinese take-out, back to the issue at hand.

This was NOT an emergency? Oh my my, not good, not good at all!

Hence, future sessions, (especially those inspired by the chia* school of fine arts)
shall include the tethering by chain of the boy known as dream, allowance for
worship to You, but freedom shall only come by Your design. Priority is priority,
a Temple in full bloom shall not be left without proper adoration and exaltation.

i myself do adhere to the Guiding Principle, no harm must come to the relationship
of a submissive with their family due to the binds of the M/s, D/s relationship.
However, duties of a handyman, short of a possible explosion do to a gas leak,
should not trump the requirements and desires of one's Dominant. Tsk, tsk.

Now, for the rendering of payment for an obvious faux paux, i believe the ever
popular chocolate custard enema, with no allowance for underwear, required
white muslin pantaloons, and no other avenue home but by good old legs,
does seem in order here. Ma'am can refer to such in the future as the "dream
whip" rememberance of the moment which almost was.

Now, back to the fall of mankind, or as i like to refer to it,

"How best to rid the world of the utterly 'man'dicapped".

chia* (the pet)  

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:52:26 PM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		with a resounding YES you're being very unreasonable and many (didn't say the dreaded word all) of your Dominants fail to realize this. we all have a real life somewhere behind our titles (i hope) and there will be times when we have to step out that role to answer the call of the real life.  Daddy understands i have obligations (social, family and work) scheduled or not to fulfill likewise He does too so sometimes we won't be able to meet like we planned.

< Message edited by sambamanslilgirl -- 7/20/2007 6:54:19 PM >

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:54:34 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		Wwe were already in full meet ...sort of a different scenario...ever so slightly but slightly...

(in reply to sambamanslilgirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:55:57 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		'Xactly, Lucy ummm chia...the Temple was in bloooom

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:57:16 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		Okay, I guess I what I consider family obligations is way different than what your guy sees them as. Going over to her house to do handy man crap? Seriously? I mean, weddings, funerals, hospitals.. shit like that, yes, go.. run! .. call me when you get back and let me know that everythings ok.. but fucking handy man crap?

Seems like this boils down to a lack of communication on both your parts and a lack of putting out clear expectations on your part. So, be mad at yourself for failing to clarify that and then straighten out his ass on what, exactly, you mean by family obligations. Since he didn't know (and that's your bad) I'd give him the pass 'this' time for the handy man crap, but no way in hell I'd let his attitude pass without saying something. It's one thing for you to fuck up with unclear communication.. quite another for a grown man to pout and act like a child.

Handy man crap. ::shakes head::

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 6:58:28 PM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		Family is a difficult kettle of fish to handle. Even if it was not an emergency, I would find my own "zone" shot to hell by the phone ringing, and having to speak to family, even if only for a few minutes. The odds of me coming back and being able to pick up smoothly from the point we left off would be small.

If this situation happened with me, the best course of action would probably be to have me disconnect the phone for the course of the session. If it is just chatting, then leave the communication lines open, but when things begin to get hot and heavy, just say "time to make sure we are not disturbed". Unless someone has a child they have to be available for, or a relative who is very ill, it would not do any harm to be out of touch for an hour.

Then, no interruptions, and you both have each other's undivided attention.

_____________________________

A true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best. At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires. Robert Heinlein

The last thing I want to do is hurt you...but it is still on my list.

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 7:00:51 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NefertariReborn
Okay question? Should I cyber slapped the living daylights out of him? No that wasn't the question...the question is....from the sub/slave perspective...am I being unreasonable?  I'm human. I err.  It's rare but it's been known to happen. 


Personally, I don't think you should be all that angry at him. From the submissive side, it also *REALLY* sucks to lose that high when the phone rings. But it's family, you suck it up and deal with it.

From now on, you could just limit sessions to only taking so long and insisting he unplug the phone (that way if there was a crisis of some sort he could reached in an hour or so). Then punish if he disobeys.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 7:01:35 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		Thank you! Thank you! Taking notes as this goes along...

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 7:02:37 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: NefertariReborn
Okay question? Should I cyber slapped the living daylights out of him? No that wasn't the question...the question is....from the sub/slave perspective...am I being unreasonable?  I'm human. I err.  It's rare but it's been known to happen. 


Personally, I don't think you should be all that angry at him. From the submissive side, it also *REALLY* sucks to lose that high when the phone rings. But it's family, you suck it up and deal with it.

From now on, you could just limit sessions to only taking so long and insisting he unplug the phone (that way if there was a crisis of some sort he could reached in an hour or so). Then punish if he disobeys.


Excellent suggestion....writes this one down too

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 7:10:02 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline 		You might want to consider having his family text him with a 911 in the event of an emergency as well. Cell phones.. a modern day marvel. :)

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 7:12:04 PM   
sublimelysensual


Posts: 298
Joined: 7/25/2005
Status: offline 		Honestly to me it would depend on what the situation was..was her faucet exploding and gushing water all over the kitchen? Was her toilet flooding the bathroom? Not all handyman stuff is trivial, though it sucks there's no one else she could call. If it were something urgent, I would chalk it up to bad timing. As to what happened afterwards, family is a touchy thing, it doesn't surprise me in the least that he went into "defensive" mode in the heat of the conversation. There also may have been more behind his asking to leave than just the sulk. Personally speaking, if I get upset to the point that I know I'm going to say something I shouldn't, or be disrespectful, I do the same thing. I'm not excusing that he did it, or that he got irritated, just trying to put it at a different angle. At any rate, I don't know him, so I could be totally off base, but, it's something else to consider, at any rate....
 
-a

_____________________________

"To make oneself an object, to make oneself passive, is a very different thing from being a passive object." -Simone De Beauvoir -'The Second Sex'

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 7:15:25 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		Thank you as well.  observations noted.  he's like you, truly non confrontational... except at work.  I've heard him chew ass and when the accent gets going ....well hellfire.

< Message edited by NefertariReborn -- 7/20/2007 7:18:19 PM >

(in reply to sublimelysensual)
Profile   Post #: 20
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