Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as the case may be


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as the case may be Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 7:25:29 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I've had my boy fully tied up in rope and had to untie him and leave a party because his on-call phone lit up. Even when you are in the same space this problem may never completely go away. It sucks, but if you've mutually agreed to the same parameters it's life. That's what maturity and a Wahl coil are for.


(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 8:21:08 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		**Hoping Nefertari will read my post!**
 
Okay I read your thread TWICE young lady.
 
When you are in a "serious" LDR, and on the phone/cam, especially having a scene--that is a date.
Would you answer the phone or door in real life, in the middle of hot sex?
Hell no, that is what answering machines are for--tell him to get one and use it!

Now, IF it was anyone but his darling mother or Aunt Mia, I would have a problem with him answering the phone.

You only get one mother, is she ill/ in a bad way?  Does she tend to call 5-8 times daily?
These are questions I am not sure of.
If she was not ill, dying, or in a bad way---he should have let the answering machine pick up, listen to the message,
and pick up the phone IF it is a situation that he needs to deal with immediately.
 
Now that said, I don't like him acting like a brat.
MzMia does not like brats.
Do you tolerate the pouty shit and petulance act?
If you do tolerate it, don't be surprised when he pulls it often if/when he relocates.
 
I am sorry your cam date was ruined and of course lets just blame chia.
I think you need to establish phone/door bell rules PRIOR to the next cam session.
 
I am more annoyed with his behavior AFTER you expressed your disappointment then him answering the phone.
I think he needs some attitude adjustment training, good luck NR!
Great post by the way!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 8:29:30 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

**Hoping Nefertari will read my post!**
 
Okay I read your thread TWICE young lady.
 
When you are in a "serious" LDR, and on the phone/cam, especially having a scene--that is a date.
Would you answer the phone or door in real life, in the middle of hot sex?
Hell no, that is what answering machines are for--tell him to get one and use it!

Now, IF it was anyone but his darling mother or Aunt Mia, I would have a problem with him answering the phone.

You only get one mother, is she ill/ in a bad way?  Does she tend to call 5-8 times daily?
These are questions I am not sure of.
If she was not ill, dying, or in a bad way---he should have let the answering machine pick up, listen to the message,
and pick up the phone IF it is a situation that he needs to deal with immediately.
 
Now that said, I don't like him acting like a brat.
MzMia does not like brats.
Do you tolerate the pouty shit and petulance act?
If you do tolerate it, don't be surprised when he pulls it often if/when he relocates.
 
I am sorry your cam date was ruined and of course lets just blame chia.
I think you need to establish phone/door bell rules PRIOR to the next cam session.
 
I am more annoyed with his behavior AFTER you expressed your disappointment then him answering the phone.
I think he needs some attitude adjustment training, good luck NR!
Great post by the way!


LMAO can I trust you on the phone with him? he's got a seriously sexy ass and these cute glasses ...but back to being pissed.....I'm annoyed too and yes he's gonna pay for that (sorry subs but I AM the pack leader).  Say mean shit about Me in your mind but don't pout. 

I do however take full responsibility for the ambiguity about the phone.  I should have cleared it up the first time it happened.  Caesar would be so disappointed in Me.  Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa. 

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 8:36:23 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Can you call him NOW and drag his ass out of bed?
Maybe wait until around 3a.m. and call.
That is the sort of thing I would do.

I don't like to be predictable, and it is good to keep submissive's on their little toes.
I am the sort of person that will set my alarm to call you at 3:30 in the morning.

< Message edited by MzMia -- 7/20/2007 8:37:57 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 8:51:31 PM   
Thomas13


Posts: 4
Joined: 9/6/2006
Status: offline 		I feel as though there must be other issues regarding trust that would upset you to the degree that you would not bend on the issue of his family member.

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 8:59:20 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia


 
I am sorry your cam date was ruined and of course lets just blame chia.



Oh sure, blame the pet!

i know, i know, back in the corner.

Damn, what did i do with those crayons anyway?

i suppose the Playground Monitor and the teeter/totter

with wooden pegs and tabasco lubrication, and the

Head mechanic with the dance of the hydraulic dildo

scenerios will simply reap me additional corner time.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 9:13:25 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		Good lord what is it with you subbies and trust.  Let Me put it in bold for you

THE TEMPLE WAS IN BLOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes there's no deep dark secret no skeleton in the closet....no need to be deeeep....it just is what it is....A sexually frustrated Domme which in itself is cause for capital punishment.

< Message edited by NefertariReborn -- 7/20/2007 9:15:43 PM >

(in reply to Thomas13)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/20/2007 9:17:57 PM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NefertariReborn

Good lord what is it with you subbies and trust.  Let Me put it in bold for you

THE TEMPLE WAS IN BLOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes there's no deep dark secret no skeleton in the closet....no need to be deeeep....it just is what it is....A sexually frustrated Domme which in itself is cause for capital punishment.


LOL
Off with his head!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 3:47:07 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		I have only read the OP and no other posts, so that is the frame of reference for my opinion.

From the perspective of my relationship that is also long distance, across international boundaries and currently dealing with immigration issues... No, you are not being unreasonable to expect him to continue his interaction with you instead of answering the phone.

For my relationship, if I am interacting with him whether it is face to face, telephone or via chat I need his permission to put that interaction on hold and do anything else.  If we are talking and the phone rings, I would ask for permission to answer the phone.  If he says no, then that is the end of it.  If I knew that a family member was going to call at a specific time to talk about something, then I would provide that information to him before that time.  It is then his decision on whether to ensure that I am able to answer the phone or not.

Just because a family member calls does not mean that I am obligated to answer the phone and just because I don't answer the phone does not mean that I am shirking my obligations to family.  I am only at the beck and call of one person in my life.  Meeting my responsibilities to my family does not mean that I have to answer the phone every single time they call.

My question for him, is if you were face to face what would he have done?  And if that is different than what he did here, why?  Why would you treat interruptions to your interactions that occur over a distance any different than you interruptions that occur face to face?

My question for you, do you have a structure in place that requires him to seek your permission to interrupt an interaction with you?  If not, then I don't see how he did anything wrong.  He didn't do what you wanted in that specific moment, and it bothers you.  For him it seems that he thinks he is doing what has been required of him.  It may be time to have a talk about priorities and who gets to make the decision on what takes priority in a particular moment. 

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to NefertariReborn)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 3:59:33 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Okay, I guess I what I consider family obligations is way different than what your guy sees them as. Going over to her house to do handy man crap? Seriously? I mean, weddings, funerals, hospitals.. shit like that, yes, go.. run! .. call me when you get back and let me know that everythings ok.. but fucking handy man crap?

Seems like this boils down to a lack of communication on both your parts and a lack of putting out clear expectations on your part. So, be mad at yourself for failing to clarify that and then straighten out his ass on what, exactly, you mean by family obligations. Since he didn't know (and that's your bad) I'd give him the pass 'this' time for the handy man crap, but no way in hell I'd let his attitude pass without saying something. It's one thing for you to fuck up with unclear communication.. quite another for a grown man to pout and act like a child.

Handy man crap. ::shakes head::

Celeste


If I had read the whole thread I may have just said "What she said!" and left it there.

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 4:11:31 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

Yes, actually, I believe yo are being unreasonable to be angry with him. IF you dont want to explain to everyone why he cant answer the phone while he is trying to get you off, thats your choice.


What is to explain?  I am really confused; do you explain to everyone why you don't answer a particular phone call?

Family obligations to me do not mean that I am at their beck and call.  The only person that I have to offer an explanation to for why I cannot answer a phone when it rings is my Lord.  Anyone else does not get an explanation and if they ask for one, will most likely only get that I was busy.  If they press for more details, I might just give them more than they bargained for and say I was masturbating.  *eg*

Knight's Kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 4:56:58 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		IMO, real time family problems out-trump long-distance cyber play.  You can play anytime, but you only have one family. 

Do you think the "BLOOM" will never get interrupted when you move to real time?  Shit happens, you just have to suck it up and deal with it.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to kyraofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 10:03:52 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes


Do you think the "BLOOM" will never get interrupted when you move to real time? 


Of course it will but not by someone else's stopped up toilet.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 10:18:29 AM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes


Do you think the "BLOOM" will never get interrupted when you move to real time? 


Of course it will but not by someone else's stopped up toilet.

Celeste


Hmmm.....toilet plunger fetish.....

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 1:57:22 PM   
substance78


Posts: 12
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Victoria, Canada
Status: offline 		2 Things will interupt my life

1. Work, this is the most important thing to me. i am always on call even when on leave. (in the military btw), so its one of those things i have to respond to. i dont respond, i get in shit (shit in this case can equal confinement to ship, hundreds if not a thousand or two in fines, and or a court martial depending on the severity of the situation) as you can see this is important. no job no money, Mistress wont support my ass, and i dont depend on others for my living

2. Family, no matter if its just to say hi, or because someone died.  I dont really care for most members of my family, but my sister (last interval between seeing her was 8 years) and my parents (i see them once a year or every two years as i can).  i dont get to see them often, but they still mean more to me than myself, and that does include my Mistress. its one of those things she understands.  my family is my family.

my Mistress does get all other attention from me when she deems fit,
if a friend calls, i ignore it, how do i explain it? i dont, i dont need to

She understands that there will be interuptions in our relationship, and sometimes it can happen at inconvienent times. we try to schedual time to ourselves.

so yes i think your being unreasonable
as for his attitude, chia seems to be that sort of person. being angry at his personality is something it seems she had time to either change or accept.
others may not find it cute, she obviously finds some redeeming quality in it, so just one of those quirks of their relationship

other have sudgested unplugging for a bit of time, that is not unreasonable to ask

as for blameing him, you of course have every right, your the Domme, and Dommes get to place the blame elsewhere

_____________________________

Pain can be endured and defeated only if it is embraced.
Denied or feared it grows in perception if not in reality

(in reply to windchymes)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 2:10:06 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sublimelysensual

There also may have been more behind his asking to leave than just the sulk. Personally speaking, if I get upset to the point that I know I'm going to say something I shouldn't, or be disrespectful, I do the same thing.  



Got to second this. When I know I'm really upset I will ask Valyraen to give me time alone so that I can calm down. Sometimes I can't do it as nicely as I should, because I'm fucking pissed or really hurt. Irish temper and all that.

Sometimes getting that space means going out for drinks with the girls, sometimes it means a few hours on the computer by myself but either way... it's good to have your space so that you don't say something stupid you don't mean.

Edited to add: Looking over this, maybe it just depends where you put your family on your list of priorities.

Valyraen simply doesn't come before my family and my family simply doesn't come before Valyraen. Each situation is assessed independently but I have to know what is going on before we can make the call as to what is more important. This is how we both feel it should be, and even if I didn't feel that way, it wouldn't matter because it's the way he feels it should be.

Perhaps you should have a talk with him about it before he makes the move.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/21/2007 2:19:09 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sublimelysensual)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 4:28:50 PM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: substance78

2 Things will interupt my life

1. Work

2. Family

so yes i think your being unreasonable
as for his attitude, chia seems to be that sort of person. being angry at his personality is something it seems she had time to either change or accept.
others may not find it cute, she obviously finds some redeeming quality in it, so just one of those quirks of their relationship

other have sudgested unplugging for a bit of time, that is not unreasonable to ask

as for blameing him, you of course have every right, your the Domme, and Dommes get to place the blame elsewhere


substance78, ahhhh actually three things will interrupt your life,

work, family, and ya ta ta da, chia* (the pet)

While you're out there searching for starfish, see if you can find your way
back through this thread. Why you ask? i'll break it down for ya;

1. Nefertari's boy is referred to as "dream", (a hot sexy little number)

2. i am referred to as chia* (the pet), (a hot hairy little number)

3. Nefertari's boy "dream" left while the temple was in full bloom

4. chia* pet tilled the garden and planted the seed to encourage the bloom

5. As for attitude, claiming one has such without substance, is ignorance

6. chia* pet is the sort of person who loves to find the lighter side of all things

7. Be sure you know all the characters in the play before offering critique

8. Off to your left, there's a shark fin, GET OUT OF THE WATER!

9. chia* pet wouldn't warn you of such if he was "that kind of person"

chia* (the pet)  

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to substance78)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 6:10:44 PM   
farieanne


Posts: 65
Joined: 2/24/2007
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline 		i do not think Ms. is being unreasonable. my Master and i started out LDR and i have two kids and He has one, younger than mine, and when Wwe were "playing" if the phone rang Wwe had certain rings set up for family, thanks to cell phones, and We let it ring no matter who it was. Now if they called back right away Wwe would then assume it was important or an emergencey and answer and THEN it depended on the cituation on what happenes next, but Master always had final say. That was part of my trusting Him to make the right decision.

_____________________________

Master Peter's

"A woman will always sacrifice herself if you give her the opportunity. It is her favourite form of self-indulgence.” - William Somerset Maugham

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 6:13:20 PM   
LadyIce


Posts: 406
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline 		I agree that you need to put rules in place prior to playing next time.
A submissive needs to know your expectations in advance.
At least your problem is easy to solve.

(in reply to farieanne)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as... - 7/21/2007 7:24:22 PM   
NefertariReborn


Posts: 381
Status: offline 		UPDATE
 
Wwe had the long chat about how play will proceed in the future; that I am not trying to go back on My decision to let him continue his obligations until he moves, in fact that I am not setting Myself up in competition with his family...the Me or them scenario as someone emailed Me I was. (subbies are so damn suspicious sometimes...I wouldn't want some of you people to be on a jury panel when there is a case before Me.  I might be convicted of murder when all I did was say he was an idiot who deserved to die. Ease up people, ease up!)  Dealt with the pouting thing, and because I AM the pack leader punishment was meted out....(Thanks Mia.... he sounds groggy very groggy at 3 am...LOL) and all is well in Reborn land.  Thank you to those who posted their opinions and advice, even the mystery writers.  chia...I wrote those scenes down.  you're depraved.  I like it!


No more posts, everyone, case closed! *cue music and fade to black*

(in reply to LadyIce)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: When "real life" crashes in...or rings as the case may be Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.092