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ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy


For me, it's not really a necessity to be understood, especially since i don't fully understand myself.  What i do need to feel, in order for me to want to remain in an intimate relationship with someone, is that i am accepted for who i am and that i can be myself and not be afraid to reveal myself.  It doesn't matter, to me, if the other person "gets it" or not, as long as they can accept that this is who i am. 

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CuriousLord:

I do not feel people can truly know one another.  At best, they can pick out identifying points and aspects.

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Donnalee:

I believe that people can become deeply known as they are in a moment, but that those moments change, and people evolve.

If you want to get absolutely technical, there are no absolutes, but as far as a working hypothesis goes, I believe it can be done, and I also believe that being known deeply  itself changes a person.

I enjoy and am honored by the commitment it takes for another to try to know me, and I'm often astounded by the things they see in me that I wasn't aware of.  The more known I feel, the more emotionally vulnerable I feel, and if  that person is a safe one, I'll also feel more secure.  Its interesting to say the least.

I love getting to know people better...how they think...how they make decisions...how they feel.  It facinates me to no end.  When someone lets me in, I try to honor that trust as best I can and do no harm.

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Rich:

To simply be accepted, warts and all, might be the best we can really hope for.  I think that is enough.

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kyra:

It is vital for me in my intimate relationships.  In getting to know my Lord he used the analogy  of a store.  A lot of people only window shop and look at the surface.  Some decide to go inside and look around a bit more.  When he came into my life he came in and went to the most important, precious part and wanted to know all about it. 

I do not focus so much on being understood but on being vulnerable and accepted for who I am and that includes the most intimate and precious parts of me.  I also focus on accepting others for who they are as well.

However, acceptance to me is not the same thing as agreement.  He accepts me for who I am and cares about me enough to call me on it when he thinks I am doing something stupid.  Those that I care about I treat the same way.  I accept them for who they are but if I think they are doing something unhealthy, then I express that.  If I don't care about the person, then I keep it to myself.

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lh:

being known and having the freedom to express myself is extremely important.  to me, that is the ultimate definition of trust in a relationship.  I would expect anyone that I'm in a long-term relationship, D/s or romantic, to feel the same way, to feel free to express their desires without the consequence of me turning away, or vice versa.

I don't know if it's necessary to be understood, because there are still parts of myself I don't understand.  I would also expect that in revealing those things I don't understand, the other person would help me do so.

Methinks we're seeing a trend here ; lack of understanding is bearable as long as acceptance is present. It makes sense.

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SexyRed:

I believe that people are deeply afraid of being  genuine and revealing their true nature.

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Knight:

Being Understood and Accepted. Doesn't equate to Agreement.

Many use the words wanting to be Understood and Accepted... but too often I find... what they really want is Validation and Agreement.  It's a fine line between the two.... a person usually finds out how much they want to be understood and accepted when you don't agree or validate their opinion.


editted to add

Confident and esteemed individuals will seek to be understood and accepted

Unconfident and Insecure individuals will seek Agreement and Validation

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some want to have smoked blowed up their ass... I guess you could called it their kink

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DrkJourney:

what a nice dream it would be to find that person....I hope he has long hair and a nice chest

I hope she has long hair and a nice chest.

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julia: Amen, Rich

Rich: Not to hijack a great topic, but isn't this a sign of the apocalypse or something???

Yes. Yes, it is. I'm typing this from a deep bunker.

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Jo:

Wow, that's quite flattering Level. I'm actually blushing. LOL Now if only I could answer that question. I'll have to think on that and come back to reply

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ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Oh fuck...I'm still discovering new things about myself every day.  How could I expect anyone to know all there is to know about me?  All I can expect is that he takes time to really think about new discoveries before he decides whether or not it's acceptable for him.

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ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

to this slave, it is essential if a relationship is to be beyond that of an acquaintance or occasional date that we "get" each other, as much as two uniquely different individuals possibly can. Master has "got"ten things about this slave even she didn't exactly "get" until He gently pointed them out!  this slave has been known to reveal early and often, though.., and is very grateful for those in her life that do "get" her!!!

lol beth  well said

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ORIGINAL: Level

A quote from Anne Rice, in a post by CM's lovely Miss Jo, sparked the idea for this thread.

"Each of us has within him a dark chamber where real desires flower; and the horror of it is that they never see the light of another's understanding, those strange blooms. It is as lonely as it is dark, that chamber of the heart."

How important is being known, and understood, to you? I mean, being able to bare yourself to another, and have them "get it", and still not turn away, and to still care for you, whether it be a friend or lover.
 

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

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ORIGINAL: Level

A quote from Anne Rice, in a post by CM's lovely Miss Jo, sparked the idea for this thread.

"Each of us has within him a dark chamber where real desires flower; and the horror of it is that they never see the light of another's understanding, those strange blooms. It is as lonely as it is dark, that chamber of the heart."

How important is being known, and understood, to you? I mean, being able to bare yourself to another, and have them "get it", and still not turn away, and to still care for you, whether it be a friend or lover.
 

I never knew until recently how important it was for me to not be fully 'known', and the lengths I have gone to, in order to hide those "dark chambers".  

Sometimes it's hard to show all of yourself.

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ORIGINAL: Level

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ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

A quote from Anne Rice, in a post by CM's lovely Miss Jo, sparked the idea for this thread.

"Each of us has within him a dark chamber where real desires flower; and the horror of it is that they never see the light of another's understanding, those strange blooms. It is as lonely as it is dark, that chamber of the heart."

How important is being known, and understood, to you? I mean, being able to bare yourself to another, and have them "get it", and still not turn away, and to still care for you, whether it be a friend or lover.
 

I never knew until recently how important it was for me to not be fully 'known', and the lengths I have gone to, in order to hide those "dark chambers".  

Sometimes it's hard to show all of yourself.

Hi marie. It surely can be hard to do so, a lot of people live their entire lives without doing so. If you feel comfortable doing so, it'd be interesting to hear why not being known was important to you.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo
Maybe it has to do with being vulnerable, embarrassed, judged, laughed at, rejected or just "known".  To me there is something scary about removing all the armour--- I think the toughest part about 'exposure' ( especially when dealing with a person who wants to dig for it) is that it turns out to be an exercise in self-examination.  And if you were me, you'd know just how scary that is. lol

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ORIGINAL: kittinSol

I always longed to be famous. I was horribly aware of my shortcomings, and that was what stopped me from seeking fame (the 'I'd rather not play for fear of losing' syndrome).

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ORIGINAL: Level

marie, I think you may be further along than you know *smiles* you're doing fine, good lady.

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ORIGINAL: Arpig

Not even slightly important

Curmudgeon!

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ORIGINAL: Level
How important is being known, and understood, to you? I mean, being able to bare yourself to another, and have them "get it", and still not turn away, and to still care for you, whether it be a friend or lover.
 
Edited to add: I'm not just speaking about D/s, either.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

A quote from Anne Rice, in a post by CM's lovely Miss Jo, sparked the idea for this thread.

"Each of us has within him a dark chamber where real desires flower; and the horror of it is that they never see the light of another's understanding, those strange blooms. It is as lonely as it is dark, that chamber of the heart."

How important is being known, and understood, to you? I mean, being able to bare yourself to another, and have them "get it", and still not turn away, and to still care for you, whether it be a friend or lover.
 
Edited to add: I'm not just speaking about D/s, either.