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Hard limits - 7/21/2007 3:02:20 PM   
winterlight


Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline 		Would U can't kill me be a reasonable one? I have a problem with that one. Especially if you end up with some nut.
He/She isn't going to care about your limits.
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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 3:05:26 PM   
ELUSIVE1


Posts: 536
Joined: 9/11/2005
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Sounds like a very troubled soul to me...I knew a sub that was released and got in chat rooms asking someone in there to make a'snuff movie'out of her...I don't list that as a hard limit, knowing that anyone I consent to play with understands that is a hard limit..


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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 3:05:34 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		Maybe it's just me, but I see a potential problem with a relationship that has to have "U can't kill me" laid out as a ground rule.

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 3:06:21 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Would U can't kill me be a reasonable one? I have a problem with that one. Especially if you end up with some nut.
He/She isn't going to care about your limits.


Umm... the "you can't kill me" limit is a VERY reasonable hard limit. If someone is taking issue with that limit, that is a sign you should probably leave.

Edited to add: Now Valyraen is trying to freak me out with daggers... *grumbles*

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 7/21/2007 3:07:08 PM >

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 3:09:12 PM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Maybe it's just me, but I see a potential problem with a relationship that has to have "U can't kill me" laid out as a ground rule.
I agree.

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 5:39:42 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline 		"no lasting damage" has always been a hard limit.  death would pretty much be a lasting damage.  *smiles*

kitten, who has too much to do to take a sick day much less have time to be dead...

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 5:52:33 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have a problem with the term "hard limits." It causes confusion. A limit is something I do not have a submissives's consent to do. Period. Everything else is a "strong dislike".  Where did this fuzzy wuzzy stuff creep in? In BDSM we need clear communications. I'm not in favour of anything that makes the edges blurry. In my book, a limit is just that - a limit.

Just my opinion.

:))
LH

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 6:00:47 PM   
NicholasLeather


Posts: 11
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: New York, NY
Status: offline 		I think it has a lot to do with the idea of "pushing limits."  A hard limit is a limit that is not to be pushed.  Some people like to play that way, others don't, and in mutual space we adopt new language so everybody's clear.

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 6:05:35 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline 		i often am confused by the term 'hard limit' also.  i view a limit as a boundary... now unless i am on a island, a boundary can be crossed.  i may joke about having hard limits, but if i say no to something, it is no longer a limit.  It is simply something that will not happen.  A limit (to me) suggests that it is subjective,  i.e. i say golden showers are a limit.  It does not mean that with the right Master i might not eventually enjoy them.  Killing me is most certainly not a hard limit, it is something that will not happen (at least not willingly on my part).

This is one of those frustrating times where i know what i want to say, but the right words are failing to come out. 

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 7:58:13 PM   
Aneirin


Posts: 6121
Joined: 3/18/2006
From: Tamaris
Status: offline 		To me,a hard limit is just that,a place not to go.Those I am with,I respect immensely and if they say they do not desire something,their reason being their own,I will respect and not even venture in that direction unless who I am with feels comfortable to explore and wishes for me to help through trust.
Even then,carefully and with thought,every deference to them so that they may comfortably explore themselves.

Those that say,'no limits' are I am afraid people whom I walk away from,everyone has limits.

< Message edited by Aneirin -- 7/21/2007 8:00:01 PM >

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 8:12:22 PM   
trustingsub


Posts: 36
Joined: 7/17/2007
From: VA
Status: offline 		i would assume that this is a given? if You feel the need to tell someone not to kill You, i would get the hell away from that person...

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 9:17:03 PM   
slaverosebeauty


Posts: 1941
Joined: 12/12/2004
From: Cali
Status: offline 		{giggles}
 
EVERYONE has limits, this proves it. I have limits, hard and soft limits. Not killing me is DEFIANTLY at the top of my list. If 'don't kill me' is NOT a limit, then their are issues.

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 9:20:29 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		What if you make your sub only "mostly dead?"    Just a quick trip to Miracle Max....And you'll be up and running in no time.

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RE: Hard limits - 7/21/2007 11:58:16 PM   
kiyari


Posts: 631
Status: offline 		I don't remember any 'running' after that 'miracle' LOL

Great movie... the book did not end so well

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RE: Hard limits - 7/22/2007 12:00:44 AM   
kiyari


Posts: 631
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

Would U can't kill me be a reasonable one?
I have a problem with that one.

Especially if you end up with some nut.
He/She isn't going to care about your limits.


I am thinking this is some light sarcasm,
in regards those who think that even 'hard limits' are to be pushed?

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RE: Hard limits - 7/22/2007 2:41:38 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

What if you make your sub only "mostly dead?"    Just a quick trip to Miracle Max....And you'll be up and running in no time.


now you are freaking me out ... I have that film on in the background!

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RE: Hard limits - 7/22/2007 2:43:42 AM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kiyari

I don't remember any 'running' after that 'miracle' LOL

Great movie... the book did not end so well


they didnt wait the 45 minutes for full effect ...

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RE: Hard limits - 7/22/2007 3:54:37 AM   
Politesub53


Posts: 14862
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		How about letting someone kill you once, but making them promise not to do it again if you dont like it ? 

A hard limit should never be pushed, although that doesnt mean what i see as a hard limit now, will always remain a hard limit. Also there could be limits within certain activities that one only agrees to some aspects of it. An example would be to agree to water sports but not agree to ingest fluid.

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RE: Hard limits - 7/22/2007 5:07:39 AM   
Phin


Posts: 1802
Joined: 2/26/2007
Status: offline 		One bottom that I play with regularly and I were chatting one day. I jokingly asked, "you dont have any limits, do you?" her responce: children, animals, dismemberment and death.

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RE: Hard limits - 7/22/2007 5:24:49 AM   
ready4srvce4all


Posts: 767
Joined: 3/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

Maybe it's just me, but I see a potential problem with a relationship that has to have "U can't kill me" laid out as a ground rule.


True, but at the same time, just before you're snuffed, the last words on earth you want to hear are, "You never said it was a hard limit"

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