RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege?

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RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:08:55 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

ok, but what does that have to do with the price of cocoa in Holland?

He's just pointing out that some people don't think cheating is always wrong.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 21

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:16:48 PM

BBBTBW

Posts: 836
Joined: 5/21/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

ok, but what does that have to do with the price of cocoa in Holland?

He's just pointing out that some people don't think cheating is always wrong.

Following that line of thinking, it still doesn't make sense.

I think he is just being his typical smart assed self....no harm, no foul.

_____________________________

"You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means" -- Inigo Montoya, The Princess Bride

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 22

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:18:29 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress
So, my question is...is it less wrong for a Dominant to cheat than a submissive? If you are a Dominant, do you feel that it is your perogative to take on another slave, keeping the first slave in the dark about it? Submissives/slaves, would you stay with a Dominant who took another sub/slave?

If by "cheating" you mean having some type of intimate relationship without the others' knowledge, then I think it is as equally "wrong" on either parties' behalf. I know there are those who would say that their dom/master can have all the relationships he wants (with or without the sub/slave's knowledge) but that is simply not how it works in my relationship. If it works for others, that's wonderful. Our relationship is based on total honesty and this doesn't only work one way.

Master and I discussed everything before I became His property and it was agreed upon and accepted by me from the beginning that He has the privilege, as you say, of having relations with how ever many females He chooses. It was agreed upon, as well, that if and when He chooses to do so, I will be told about it. His happiness is paramount and He can freely do what He desires. He needs not be dishonest in anyway or hide anything from me. He would not feel ethical doing so and He knows there's simply no need for it. He won't get nagging, pouting, disapproval and so on from me and He knows it.

So far, He has not chosen to have any other relationships without my participation. If He does, that is a choice that will be respected and honored. It's not "cheating" because He has no desire to keep me "in the dark" about anything He does. I rather hope that someday we will find another slave to live in a poly household with us. I actually think I prefer that idea more than He does so it may never happen. If it does, however, I will welcome it happily

.

I think what it all boils down to, for me, is the openness and honesty. Master can and does do whatever pleases Him. He is the boss. He has no need to sneak, hide, or deceive at any time. His ethics wouldn't permit it...............slave luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 23

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:20:51 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Smart ass maybe, but topical and intelligent, all one needs do is check the last 1,000 fuckin' threads on this topic and some lame argument along the lines I layed out was constructed most commonly as a ploy to elicit sympathy towards the cheater, with the ever heart tugging, you don't know, you're not me, you can't possibly know how it is to be in my shoes-----
and yadda yadda yadda....

< Message edited by mnottertail -- 7/22/2007 1:21:36 PM >

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 24

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:22:45 PM

MrsWallis

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

Cheating = Lies

In my view if a Dominant has to lie they are not dominant at all... Dominance is about being a leader the Alfa.
One who has to Hide behind Lies is not Alfa...

Hiding is for those who are less than able to come forward with thier beliefs and convictions and those who fear the truth and have to hide from them.
Waves to the liars out there face your fears and tell the truth, stand up and be counted be brave be Dominant be honerable and be faithfull to yourself.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 25

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:39:01 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

Rose, I'm sorry.

To answer your question, cheating is cheating is cheating. An open relationship is different and to me (and to you it would seem) what happened wasn't an open relationship, and therefore cheating.

(in reply to MrsWallis)

Post #: 26

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:42:50 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I just love jumping on these kinds of threads. It gives Me the opportunity to surprise some folks. Always have to recycle the material once and a while for the new ones.

I understand that the OP is concerning a online relationship. Not really going to emphasize that a whole lot, since it seems it was with the intention of taking it to the next step. In either case, I don't consider cheating to be a 'priviledge' of a Dominant, because in My view, lying isn't a priviledge. It has absolutely nothing to do with a Dominant chosing to have other relationships. That is an entirely different subject.

In My view, honestly is absolutely essential. It is the only way to base a cornerstone of trust, which can't be negated in any kind of relationship. How on earth to you trust a Dominant who doesn't have a great track record of telling the truth? If they are lying about other things, how much faith do you have in them, for example, that a safe word or a hard limit will be respected? I wouldn't want anyone taking those kinds of chances.

If a Dominant is going to do WIITW(T)D, they should at least have the balls to be upfront and say so. Power and control has absolutely nothing to do with sneaking around and hiding.

(in reply to MrsWallis)

Post #: 27

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:51:49 PM

sfdrew

Posts: 124
Joined: 6/15/2007
Status: offline

no two relationships are exactly the same, and the details are going to differ from couple to couple (or more if it's a poly).

cheating is something which is not posible in my relationship because i have no desire to see any other women (dominant or otherwise), and i have made it clear that every second of Her time is Hers and She can spend it with whomever She wishes, and that i am grateful for every second She chooses to spend with me. i don't feel i have the right (or anybody else for that matter) to demand that somebody else spend their time and affection on me only. i do not have such a large head as to think that i might be only person who can bring Her pleasure or satisfaction. because of this open communication (very important), the threat of cheating becoming an issue in O/our relationship is greatly declined.

i believe that any relationship can be a success, but you will never get there without good communication.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 28

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:52:29 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: BBBTBW

ok, but what does that have to do with the price of cocoa in Holland?

He's just pointing out that some people don't think cheating is always wrong.

Following that line of thinking, it still doesn't make sense.

I think he is just being his typical smart assed self....no harm, no foul.

Smart assed with a point. Some people don't think cheating is a bad when leaving the situation would (in their opinion) cause more harm then good.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 29

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 1:55:06 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
If a Dominant is going to do WIITW(T)D, they should at least have the balls to be upfront and say so. Power and control has absolutely nothing to do with sneaking around and hiding.

Yes, LadyPact. That's the point I was trying to make

. I couldn't agree more........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 30

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 2:07:07 PM

sambamanslilgirl

Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline

i left my former (also a member here) because he wanted to have a stable of women at his beck and call even if i was there with him or not. he did feel justified in having me search the profiles here and elsewhere for women because he also felt i would enjoy being bi (another reason why i left him).

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...

...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 31

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 2:09:35 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

Liar Liar pants on fire!

It is not wrong for a Domina to have more than one submissive IF she has been honest that is what She has or seeks---this crap of playing games---is s$#@ and I do not cotten to it---IMHO and I can assure you She played games in the vanilla life----

Honesty is the mark of a genuine Domina---to have the balls, baby She has to have the balls!

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 7/22/2007 2:33:19 PM >

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 32

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 2:13:06 PM

Rose4Mistress

Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline

thank you everyone who has responded to this thread. It really means a lot to me.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 33

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 2:30:46 PM

passionflower2

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/21/2007
Status: offline

when i met my master he assured me he wanted a monogomast( excuse spelling lol)
relationship, but he does have someone else.I explained how i felt cheated and lied to and he said he loved me enough to end it with her!
The problem is hes done this several times before in previous relationships and i have my doubts hes actually ended it, so its up to me now, if i find out hes lied then yes i will walk away as i said from the start what i wanted and he agreed that he wanted the same.His words were well its only 1 more!!
If its agreed then thats fine but lying isnt acceptable, without trust no relationship can grow.If youre not happy walk away, thats my decision if i find out hes lied, i have more self respect for myself than to be lied to .

(in reply to BBBTBW)

Post #: 34

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 2:33:30 PM

mstrjx

Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline

Is it a Dominant's wont to do what they wish? Well, that would be part of the job description. But is doing what they want without considering the feelings of another when the topic has come up in any way responsible?

Please.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 35

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 3:43:53 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

mmmmmmmm this makes me wonder what else he um she lied to you about.....

are you sure he um she was a female?...

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 36

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 3:44:02 PM

blmtrsne

Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline

In this case your correspondant wants to lure you into a relation, so she lost the trust you could give her.
Build in a period of getting to know each other: a lot of Mistresses or Masters will collar you (accepting you) as their sub/slave once they think the time is come: they know you enough and you know what to expect. At that time you'll accept terms and conditions. When you are owned and agreed on giving up all your rights (suppose you want that), She doesn't even have to explain anything to you: you trust your Domme, don't you ? Before, it's time to explore the possibilities.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 37

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 3:46:16 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

I would say, in a nutshell, that a dom doesn't have the privilege of cheating, but does have the privilege of fucking other people.

Either you accept it or you don't.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)

Post #: 38

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 3:58:34 PM

mythi

Posts: 257
Joined: 2/25/2007
From: Naples, FL
Status: offline

In my eyes a 'Dominant' OR 'submissive' ceases to be one at that point, because they have forfeited any and all trust and respect. Any agreement/relationship, whether D/s or vanilla, at that point is null and void. And anyone who stays knowingly after that is doing it to themselves. I'd like to be more sympathetic, but I can't. In the end they're just proving to the cheaters of the world that 'it cant be too bad because plenty of people do it and their partners put up with it'. It's even considered a mark of prowess in some circles. So cheaters will continue to cheat because they can get away with it, minimal consequences.

You want to show me you're a man or woman and prove your prowess? Keep the same partner(s) happy day in and day out for decades. Teach your children to be polite, responsible, contributing adults. Hold a job, pay your bills, and provide for the day that you might not be able to any longer. To me, that is what defines a man or woman...Dominant OR submissive!

Cheaters just prove to me that they're not fully formed human beings yet.

_____________________________

“The truth doesn’t change based on our ability to stomach it.”
Flannery O’Connor

(in reply to mstrjx)

Post #: 39

RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 4:37:50 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I would say, in a nutshell, that a dom doesn't have the privilege of cheating, but does have the privilege of fucking other people.

Either you accept it or you don't.

Dude....You are soooo wrong!!!!....Obviously you have never had the experience or the bliss that online cheating can bring.....To stare directly at your newly acquired cyber snatch....While you force your non-complicit partner to watch as the whole thing goes down....You, breathing in deeply and pretending your smelling her essence in lieu of that plate of tacos from yesterday night....While your old faithful sub stares in horror just mouthing the words "no...no....no" and sobbing uncontrollably as you touch the screen of your computer as if you are actually able to feel your new found sub's self inflicted welts rise.....God, I love online cheating.....It gets me so fucking hard!!!

_____________________________

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 40

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