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RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 4:47:32 PM   
umisprite


Posts: 132
Joined: 6/16/2007
Status: offline 		Cheating is the antithesis of Dominance.
 
If a Dominant makes it clear from the start that there will be others and a submissive agrees to this condition then it is not cheating.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 4:50:35 PM   
classykindasassy


Posts: 291
Joined: 12/13/2005
Status: offline 		No offense, but online so-called relationships are so unreal - you have absolutely no idea if anything about the other person is as they say it is. I really can't believe all these posters on this thread are sucked into believing any such relationship can be considered real to the point of cheating even being a consideration. Unless you have someone face to face creating something with you, how can you expect anything about it is more than a fantasy? People can lie then too!

_____________________________

"The less I seek my source for some definitive, the closer I am to fine." -The Indigo Girls

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 5:03:05 PM   
onmykneesforhim


Posts: 112
Joined: 6/18/2006
Status: offline 		I think *They* explain this phenomenon as cockholding.
hg

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 5:35:20 PM   
chellekitty


Posts: 3923
Joined: 3/27/2005
Status: offline 		i believe the word you are looking for is cuckolding and no, thats consentual...

(in reply to onmykneesforhim)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 5:58:30 PM   
shyinini


Posts: 550
Joined: 5/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

I had been in an online relationship for the past three months (never again!), and I had thought everything was going well.  We talked everyday, we had begun making plans for me to come visit her during winter break.
And then, yesterday, a friend in the lifestyle finds not one or two, but three CM profiles of young girls all my age, "owned" by this same Domme.  And, whats more, I get contacted by a few submissive females telling me that my Domme is contacting them and wanting to own them.
So, of course, I confronted this same Domme about what was going on. At first she denied it, and said these girls were all out to get her, and that she would never, etc.   Then the story changed that she was looking to find me a playmate.  When I reminded her that I did not want anything like that, she told me that it wasn't cheating on her part, because she is a Dominant and can do what she wants, and that I should be grateful that she was giving me her time at all.
As you can imagine, that didn't go over well with me, so I broke it off.  Her attitude changed again, begging me to stay, telling me she loved me, etc.
So, my question is...is it less wrong for a Dominant to cheat than a submissive?  If you are a Dominant, do you feel that it is your perogative to take on another slave, keeping the first slave in the dark about it?  Submissives/slaves, would you stay with a Dominant who took another sub/slave?
Thanks in advance!
Rose



I'm confused or maybe it just seems plain way too silly in my thinking....
Rose is all bent out of shape cause her online Domme is trying to possibly find someone real time and is thus cheating on her
....and Rose says in her profile she doesnt want to be owned but is like wrecked cause like she aint the only one?
I'd like to read the profileof the Domme.
 
Rose says she doesnt want real time she is happy with friends...and then she accuses friends of..???
Rose has a bf she is perfectly happy with, from what I conclude when I read. 
 
This is the second drama I read since I came on tonight...
I gotta go......night kids,
I'll leave the light on, the beer and soda are in the fridge,
popcorn in the cupboard, right where it belongs.
 
Have fun
 
Sir's girl gone for the day

_____________________________

With grace and gratitude, I am owned.
A Man who always seeks to be the best He can be for you
is the only Man truly worthy of being called Sir.


(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 6:16:58 PM   
PairOfDimes


Posts: 324
Joined: 7/20/2006
Status: offline 		<sigh> Dominants, being people, must abide by the same ethical standards as other people, like keeping their agreements. It's okay for dominants to have multiple submissives (and it's okay for submissives to decide that they want no part of a relationship involving that), but they have to make that clear and do it with their partners' consent, just like all the rest of us nonmonogamous/polyamorous/open/whatever people.

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 6:17:05 PM   
CrazyC


Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline 		Rose, Sacramento has some of the best teachers for those just getting into the style. :) I remember when i first decided to get involved....i was scared shitless, but I have been lucky in finding supportive friends.

< Message edited by CrazyC -- 7/22/2007 6:39:48 PM >

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 6:57:00 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Lying about having sex is okay for dominant men. Now what famous man lied about having sex? Actually, a lot more than the one you are thinking of.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/22/2007 8:31:33 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Actually, if you force your partner to watch, it's not cheating.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Obviously you have never had the experience or the bliss that online cheating can bring.....To stare directly at your newly acquired cyber snatch....While you force your non-complicit partner to watch as the whole thing goes down

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 12:28:37 AM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline 		I am sorry if my post was in any way confusing...I did change my profile today, after this all went down.
This "relationship" was not online for onlines sake.  There was every intention, at least on my part, and seemingly on hers, of having a long distance D/s relationship.  Cybering and "*kneels in wonder*" sort of things really do nothing for me.  We had been talking of me coming out to visit and see if we got on well in person.  It was definitely stupid and immature to accept "ownership" on such a basis, but we all make mistakes.  I have learned from mine, and thus is the reason for the profile change today.
However, in my oh-so-humble opinion, cheating is having any sort of relationship behind the back of a partner.  If I believe I am someone's partner, and they are fooling around with someone else (even online), that is a betrayal of trust, and thus, wrong.

(in reply to umisprite)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 12:38:21 AM   
WyckedMystress


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/24/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I love to cheat....Especially online....It is just so much more upfront and personal.....Nothing is a better reminder of an online conquest, after a hard and long session,then to hold my fingers up to my nose and to be greeted by the all to familiar and pungent scent of Compaq. Sometimes, afterwards, I won't wash my hands for days.



LMAO

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 1:25:59 AM   
NControlofU


Posts: 204
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Cheating implies that there was some deception or fraud involved (that shouldn't have been expected, and online encounters should always expect some fraud and deception) or that there was a breaking of some mutually agreed upon rule.  You were chatting online with this person.  You hadn't met yet.  Had you even discussed such things as monogamy?  Had the two of you agreed to be monogamous with each other, or were you just assuming that would or should be the case?  If being monogamous with each other wasn't discussed and agreed to, there wasn't any cheating.  If she never told you that she only wanted to be with you and only you, then there was no cheating.  If you never told her that you expected to be her only one and she didn't know that's what you expected, there was no cheating.  Just because you talked every day (online?), doesn't mean that the two of you had any special or exclusive relationship with each other.  Of course its the prerogative of a dom or domme to have multiple partners, if that's what they want.  Just like its the prerogative of a sub to choose to not have a relationship with someone who wants multiple partners.

< Message edited by NControlofU -- 7/23/2007 1:51:03 AM >

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 1:33:37 AM   
brightspot


Posts: 3052
Status: offline 		For myself, I wouldn't let myself become that
involved "heart wise" until I have met the person
and have decided we would like to continue our
adventure together monogamously. 

When in said relationship, if it is based on openess
and honesty and something is going on secretly,
then there is something wrong with the picture.
 
Missy.

< Message edited by brightspot -- 7/23/2007 1:35:09 AM >

_____________________________

"Comedy is NOT Pretty!" ~Peter Nelson

But..."May at Least One person have a sense of Humor!" ~KML.

http://360.yahoo.com/my_profile-TD4TwEw8crWS3GHFDcs_DK1rHmW6Dq_E;_ylt=Av2PfG9gH0wkQrMPivuMCivGAOJ3

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 5:22:03 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		If she actually believed her behavior acceptable she would have been upfront about it. It goes for anyone, if they feel something is somehow 'wrong' or 'unaccepted' they hide it. If they feel it is natural and nothing wrong, it should come up easily in conversation if prompted.


(in reply to brightspot)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 9:31:16 AM   
Rose4Mistress


Posts: 162
Joined: 3/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds

If she actually believed her behavior acceptable she would have been upfront about it. It goes for anyone, if they feel something is somehow 'wrong' or 'unaccepted' they hide it. If they feel it is natural and nothing wrong, it should come up easily in conversation if prompted.



Thats what I am thinking.  And yes, there had been a discussion of monogamy.  She had told me that she wanted to be my only dominant, with the exception of my boyfriend, and that I would be her only submissive, except for her husband.  I wouldn't assume monogamy unless it had been discussed, and it had.
But oh well!  Live and learn!

(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 10:04:18 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		when someone cheats. they are just all about them.. they never respect you or anyone else.. they lack empathy and understanding of what a true sub is only people that wish to be objects should be with this kind of persona. learn about the cheating heart and avoid if all possible. past will always tell the future.. most tigers or tigress never will change there strypes

(in reply to BBBTBW)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 10:34:32 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Sir and I have talked about our "definition" of cheating....not just in our relaitonship but as a whole. To us, the whole issue of cheating has nothing to do with sex...its the betrayal of a trust. Once you enter into an agreement with someone, you need to keep it. What that agreement is depends on your relationship, if at the beginning you agreed to be monogomous, you need to stay that way, Dom or sub either one, you keep your word. Now, you also need to really define "monogomous" anymore...Sir says he could care less how many keyboards I have sex with when he isnt around, I dont cyber, but the fact remains that He doesnt see that as cheating. To me, cheating doesnt even have to involve sex....if I was to go out to a movie and hold hands with some guy without telling Sir about it it would be seen as cheating to me. Now, if Sir knew the guy and was Ok with it, its no longer cheating....same with sex....if Sir knows im going somewhere to have sex withsomeone and he knows the person..its no longer cheating...cheating is just a betrayal of an agreement...whatever that agreement is...if you didnt HAVE an agreement, then chalk it up to a misunderstanding and learn to be more upfront with your definitions of words and expectations next time

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 10:40:24 AM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		it is a spirtual thing joining of two souls to be one enity..  thats why you know when someone cheats kinda like esp kinda of creepy really but it is true if your tuned into your own chi you can do some amazing stuff maynard ...

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 12:51:15 PM   
MissOchistic


Posts: 315
Joined: 4/30/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

when someone cheats. they are just all about them.. they never respect you or anyone else.. they lack empathy and understanding of what a true sub is only people that wish to be objects should be with this kind of persona. learn about the cheating heart and avoid if all possible. past will always tell the future.. most tigers or tigress never will change there strypes


What a great load of bull.


_____________________________



"The amount i care for Thee
is more than two, but less than three."

"Submission is a potlatch."

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Cheating...A Dominants Privilege? - 7/23/2007 1:07:38 PM   
slaveish


Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rose4Mistress

So, my question is...is it less wrong for a Dominant to cheat than a submissive?  If you are a Dominant, do you feel that it is your perogative to take on another slave, keeping the first slave in the dark about it?  Submissives/slaves, would you stay with a Dominant who took another sub/slave?



I've got no problem sharing as long as it is clear from the beginning that the probability is there. It was cowardly and chep to lie and to keep lying after being confronted. She was finding you a playmate? Hogwash.

If she can't cough up the truth then she can't muster control, and in fact her lies and subsequent begging put her power in the hands of her submissive. Trust is broken. Only you can decide if it can ever be rebuilt.

_____________________________

You only lose what you cling to. ~~Gautama Sidharta

If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

(in reply to Rose4Mistress)
Profile   Post #: 60
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