Needing a shoulder (Full Version)

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MagiksSlave -> Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 6:01:56 PM)

Hey all,

Please Im asking you now to hold back on the I told you so's I really cant take them right now, and really Im doing enought of that for everyone here on the boards.

Master dissapeared on me for a few days, putting pure fear into me of where he could be becuase he never does that, and after a year I didnt think it would ever be an issue unless something was really very wrong.

Today he finally answered his phone, telling me he needed time to think about what he was going to say to me. And then he droped the bomb on me. He tells me he cant be a Dom right now when all he feels is like beeing submissive. I understand that, but it doesnt stop it from hurting like hell. he said he wants to scale things back and really work on our friendship and see where we are in a few weeks. He is going to work on finding someone to Dominate him, but right now he doesnt feel like he is even in enough controll of his life to let alone controll someone els'... This hurts me a lot but I do completley understand where he is comeing from.  Im not loseing him I know that, but right now my head is so confused I dont know what to say to him at all. I hung up the phone because my mom heard me sobbing and wanted to talk to me (she knows about my involvment with Master and all but she couldnt really understand why I was feeling so hurt if I wasnt really completley losing him so thus I come here to people that will understand) im suposed to call him back, but I dont know if I want to talk to him right now at all, i dont even know what to say at this point...

So im comeing here to vent and cry a bit to people that understand what it is im losing, even if Im only loseing it tempereraly (time will tell that) and maybe to get some advise because I dont know where to go from here with him.


Just me..



AquaticSub -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 6:11:50 PM)

Just remember that things are going to get better hon. *hugs* My heart goes out to you



MagiksSlave -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 6:13:42 PM)

Thanks Aqua, you have been such a wonderfull help throughout all of this.. you are truely a wonderfull friend!!!


just me



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 6:13:53 PM)

I am so sorry you are going through this. Just give him time to work through all this. I know it doesn't help the pain but know that others are here to support you.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 6:18:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetnurseBBW

I am so sorry you are going through this. Just give him time to work through all this. I know it doesn't help the pain but know that others are here to support you.


Thank you, I know we will both be ok I care about him so much  and want him to be my Master.. but if he cant be in controll right now I understand.... doesnt mean I dont still want it or need it it just means Im putting his needs first, so in a way Im still submitting... if that makes any sence at all
 
 
Just me



ThinkingKitten -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 6:38:29 PM)

Hang in there MS. I'm sure you feel as though the rug was just yanked from under your feet (which it kinda has been!), and boy, landing hard on your backside is just no fun at all. To put a positive slant on a confusing situation - he may have gone underground for a few days, but ultimately he has told you what the situation is. That takes courage and strength of feeling - I can think of a lot of guys who would have just done a bunk completely, or flat out dumped you. It is a measure of the strength of your relationship that he felt he could tell you, and that you would understand.
 
You are under no obligation to discuss this with him though until you are ready - when the tangled mess of feelings and thoughts in your head have unravelled themselves into something that makes sense. Take it slowly, and remember - BREATHE.
 
So often, remember, when one door closes, another one opens. Cliched I know, but someone came up with it for a reason.....



subsfaith -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 6:52:27 PM)

Passes Majik my shoulder and smiles warmly.

Faith



LotusSong -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:21:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave


Thank you, I know we will both be ok I care about him so much  and want him to be my Master.. but if he cant be in controll right now I understand.... doesnt mean I dont still want it or need it it just means Im putting his needs first, so in a way Im still submitting... if that makes any sence at all
 
 
Just me


No need for BOTH of you to put his needs first.  You had better take care of you.  I just hope the domme he finds knows he switches and doesn't fall for him like you did.  This is the heartbreak of it all.
 
(switches.. gotta love 'em, eh?:/)



MagiksSlave -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:26:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave


Thank you, I know we will both be ok I care about him so much  and want him to be my Master.. but if he cant be in controll right now I understand.... doesnt mean I dont still want it or need it it just means Im putting his needs first, so in a way Im still submitting... if that makes any sence at all
 
 
Just me


No need for BOTH of you to put his needs first.  You had better take care of you.  I just hope the domme he finds knows he switches and doesn't fall for him like you did.  This is the heartbreak of it all.
 
(switches.. gotta love 'em, eh?:/)


I knew he was a switch when we got involved.. We just werent counting on it beeing so hard for him to find someone to Dominate him. we have been together a year and in that time he has literaly had no luck, He isnt pulling a bait and switch I knew full well what i was getting when i sighned on...

Just me



MagiksSlave -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:29:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ThinkingKitten

Hang in there MS. I'm sure you feel as though the rug was just yanked from under your feet (which it kinda has been!), and boy, landing hard on your backside is just no fun at all. To put a positive slant on a confusing situation - he may have gone underground for a few days, but ultimately he has told you what the situation is. That takes courage and strength of feeling - I can think of a lot of guys who would have just done a bunk completely, or flat out dumped you. It is a measure of the strength of your relationship that he felt he could tell you, and that you would understand.
 
You are under no obligation to discuss this with him though until you are ready - when the tangled mess of feelings and thoughts in your head have unravelled themselves into something that makes sense. Take it slowly, and remember - BREATHE.
 
So often, remember, when one door closes, another one opens. Cliched I know, but someone came up with it for a reason.....


You hit the nail on the head!! I feel like the rug was pulled from beneath me and i landed rather hard right on my ass..  And i know im under no obligation to tell him anything just yet, like I said I dont even know what I want to say... I know he is upset Im hurting and I know we both still care about eachother, starting this thread has helped me put a lot of words to feelings so when I do feel like talking to him I will have a better idea of what I want and need to say.

Just me



LotusSong -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:29:54 PM)

Then just focus on you then :)  You're a nice lady.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:31:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: subsfaith

Passes Majik my shoulder and smiles warmly.

Faith



Thanks!!!

Just me



DiurnalVampire -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:34:02 PM)

When Angel had to leave me to figure himself out, it hurt. I didnt completely lose him, no, but that didnt make it any easier.  The worst part is not losing the person, its not knowing if you'll get them back.

If you love something, let it go. When it comes back to you you will know it was meant to be.

He needs this to be happy, and without it, he coud not function for either of you. Everything will work out somehow and somewhere.

DV




LadyPact -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:38:01 PM)

ms, I hope you know that there are folks pulling for you, and that you are going to be ok.  You must be really dazed and confused right now.  That can be really tough, but you're going to be just fine.
 
Also, I agree with the earlier comment.  It takes good character for someone to not just disappear completely and leave you hanging.  At least he's being honest with you, which you definitely deserve.



NefertariReborn -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:39:53 PM)

I'm sorry for you both.  In time lets hope each of you finds what you seek.



MagiksSlave -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:44:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire

When Angel had to leave me to figure himself out, it hurt. I didnt completely lose him, no, but that didnt make it any easier.  The worst part is not losing the person, its not knowing if you'll get them back.

If you love something, let it go. When it comes back to you you will know it was meant to be.

He needs this to be happy, and without it, he coud not function for either of you. Everything will work out somehow and somewhere.

DV




Thank you so much.. this is exactly it!!! He needs to figure things out he needs space and he needs something he isnt getting and I cant give him. I have let him go and I know that when he is getting what he needs he will come back, Im not loseing him completley and that is a comfert, I want him to be happy but I deserve to be happy to, this is something he himself tought me.

If you love something, let it go. When it comes back to you you will know it was meant to be.

that may seem cliche' but your right, and I know that doing this will be benaficial to our relationship in the long run, and it isnt like we are ending things, we are takeing time to work on the most fundamental and importent part of our relationship, the underlieing friendship that has most deffinetly been suffering as of late. it will just take some time to re adjust and I just hope that given time things will get better, and be better then they are and where.

Master or not I care about him as a person as my friend... possably my best friend possably the best friend I have ever had.

Just me



MagiksSlave -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 7:45:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

ms, I hope you know that there are folks pulling for you, and that you are going to be ok.  You must be really dazed and confused right now.  That can be really tough, but you're going to be just fine.
 
Also, I agree with the earlier comment.  It takes good character for someone to not just disappear completely and leave you hanging.  At least he's being honest with you, which you definitely deserve.


Thanks... dazed and confused sounds about right... kind of upside down inside out you know.

Just me



completenz -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 8:08:54 PM)

hi hon
no 'i told you so's' from me either.
Just a big hug and lots of positive thoughts
take care
c



octavia -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 8:21:05 PM)

just..
*hugs*



SunNMoon -> RE: Needing a shoulder (7/22/2007 8:30:28 PM)

I’m so so sorry. I know that it really hurts right now *passing you some of my Ben & Jerry’s* I went through something similar about 2 months ago and it hurts, really hurts. I know you are in pain right now and it’ll get to be less painful. Take the time to spoil yourself, take care of you right now. Hugs. I’m hurting less now but I still have my days, big hugs. 



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