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Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 10:53:26 AM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline 		After posting on a thread here this morning entitled "Do you service others for your Master's enjoyment?" and after having read several other threads recently as well about sharing and how a slave "should be" treated to "truly" be owned, I decided to start this thread.  

There are tons of subs/slaves out there willing to be shared to please their doms/owners/masters.  This isn't to say it doesn't please them as well.  Just in the big picture their being shared does please their dominant partner.  So this brings me to my question.  Are there subs/slaves out there who desire to be shared but whose doms/owners do not permit it?  How many sub/slaves are out there who wish to be shared but are willing to not be shared in order to please their dominant? 

It is often spoken of how being shared makes one feel "more owned" because their  dom/owner is lending them out for His own pleasure.  For you subs/slaves who wish to be shared and are not allowed to be, does this make you feel "more owned" in that you are being denied your own desires in order to please your dom/owner? 

Whether being shared or not being permitted to be shared, if we're doing it in order to best please our doms, then is their really any major difference?  One may be doing something they do or not wish to do in order to please and the other group is being denied doing something they wish to do in order to please as well. 

Master made it very clear before I became His slave that I would never be shared with another man again.  No scening, no play, no sex - nothing.  Same thing with dominant women.  Vanilla or sub/slave females are fine for play but that is all that is permitted.  So, as a person who had formerly been very sexual and had had my share of different male partners over the last (nearly) two decades, I was left to decide if I could live with that rule.  It wasn't hard to decide that I indeed could.

I have admitted to myself and my Master that I would find it hot to be shared with other men (in His presence) but that is not something that interests Him at all.  "Mine, Mine, Mine" is His reply to that and no other man is ever going to be involved.  So, when I read of subs/slaves being shared and how this often makes them feel even more "owned" for this service/pleasure they are providing their doms/owners, I think of how not being permitted to be shared really drives home my own slavery.  Being controlled and denied in that manner really reminds me who owns this body and it isn't me. 

Does anyone who is not shared but wants to be have any input here? Surely I'm not the only one.  I'd appreciate your thoughts. Thanks...........slave luci 



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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin
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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 11:33:47 AM   
his2pet


Posts: 23
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline 		I am not owned but am married to my Sir.  I do have a strong desire to be shared and used under my Sirs control and direction.  I want my Sir to be there and maintain utter control.  There are many things I would like to have done to me and ways to be used that Sir is not interested in.  I think this would allow me to grow for him while under his control.  But it will never happen without Sirs consent and I am ok with that too.

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 11:37:25 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		In all my relationships before 2004, I was very restricted in what I could do and who I could do it with.  I hated it, I chafed under it, I was not true to myself because of it.

At the time of course I just tried to be a "good girl" and be happy with what I got.

When I became owned by my last master who ENCOURAGED me to be with others as much as I wanted, I felt like I'd come home, I felt MORE attached to him than anyone else.  Because he gave me the freedom to be me.

And I know now that I will never be in a relationship with someone who would restrict what came my way.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 12:04:24 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: his2pet
I think this would allow me to grow for him while under his control.  But it will never happen without Sirs consent and I am ok with that too.

Thank you for your answer, his2pet.  I, too, am ok with Master's desires in this area and every other.  I was fully informed of how it would be before becoming His property so I entered into our M/s relationship eyes wide open and I certainly have no regrets.  Unlike what you stated above about "growing for him," I don't see my being shared as effecting such a thing.  It would simply be for my pleasure.  Therefore, to me, it comes down to my pleasure or His and we know whose wins out.  But...as I said in the OP....it does certainly give me a different type of pleasure to be denied the opportunity to be shared.  It shows me who really has control over this body and who really decides what's done to and with it.  That brings about a special kind of pleasure all it's own.  Do you feel that as well?..........luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 12:15:08 PM   
tricia


Posts: 231
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I think of how not being permitted to be shared really drives home my own slavery.  Being controlled and denied in that manner really reminds me who owns this body and it isn't me. 


Honestly, slaveluci, i never thought about it from that angle.  I very much agree with you.
 
I have mixed feelings about the whole concept of being shared. If it wasn't something he wanted i would never miss it.  If it is important to him that i occasionally serve others - then it's important to me, as well. 
 
Thus far, i've never served another in my Masters presence - the idea of this actually makes me more nervous than his not being present.  I'm not sure why that is.
 
As i've said before - my relationship with my Master doesn't include scening or many 'bdsm' activities so the few 'encounters' i've had outside of my relationship have been educational (at times ) enlightening and for the most part -  positive experiences.  I've always been allowed a say and opinion on the couples that i do join.  Ultimately, they became people that i enjoyed spending time with in and out of the bedroom. 
 
This isn't to say in the beginning i didn't have many of the negative feelings that many have spoken about on the message boards.  Or that it was always rainbows and butterflies.  But that's another thread :)





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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 12:16:32 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
In all my relationships before 2004, I was very restricted in what I could do and who I could do it with.  I hated it, I chafed under it, I was not true to myself because of it

I understand what you mean, LA.  But it presents a bit of a quandry for me.  I would enjoy being shared but not being so doesn't make me hate it or chafe under that rule.  I don't feel it's not being "true" to myself, really.  It's more that I'm not permitted to do something that I would probably choose to do if on my own.  It's not that strong of a desire for me but it is something I would rather enjoy from time to time.  On the other hand, I would really not be "true to myself" if I were to make an issue of this and thereby displease Master.  Pleasing Him is much more of a desire and need than being shared.  I understand where you're coming from but it's simply not that strong of a need for me to be with other men.
quote:

At the time of course I just tried to be a "good girl" and be happy with what I got
This is exactly what I am and desire to continue to be.  And, as I said in the OP, I knew full well that becoming Master's property meant no other men ever again.  It's not like He "pulled one over on me".....lol.  I knew it and I agreed. 
quote:

When I became owned by my last master who ENCOURAGED me to be with others as much as I wanted, I felt like I'd come home, I felt MORE attached to him than anyone else.  Because he gave me the freedom to be me

And Master gives me this in a million other ways.  I feel exactly the same way about Him that you just described.  It's just that sharing is never going to be a component of our relationship.
quote:

And I know now that I will never be in a relationship with someone who would restrict what came my way

I think it's great that you learned this about yourself and decided that is what's healthy for you.  "Restricting what comes my way" is part and parcel, however, of Master's ownership and control of me.  I placed those decisions in His Hands when I became His. 

To go back to the original question, I asked.....when you were being "restricted" from others, did you experience any positive feelings from that as it was essentially pleasing your master at the time?  Though you weren't able to fulfill yourself as you would have chosen to, did it bring you happiness to know you were being denied and, through this particular denial, thereby pleasing your master at the time?  Just curious and thanks for the answer...........luci

< Message edited by slaveluci -- 7/23/2007 12:17:27 PM >

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 12:24:55 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tricia
Honestly, slaveluci, i never thought about it from that angle.  I very much agree with you.

Great.  We haven't always agreed a whole lot before.  I thought there may be others who maybe hadn't looked at it this way or perhaps they have.  I'd love to hear their feedback.
quote:

I have mixed feelings about the whole concept of being shared. If it wasn't something he wanted i would never miss it.  If it is important to him that i occasionally serve others - then it's important to me, as well

I certainly understand this.  As I said to LA, I think I would like to be shared some but it's not that big of an issue.  I would much rather please Master totally than press for something like that that would displease Him very much and only kind of fulfill me.  It's just not that much of a desire for me.  And, frankly, I know it's never going to be allowed so there's no point in making it an issue that could potentially drive a wedge into an otherwise blissful relationship.  Thanks for your answer, tricia............luci   





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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 12:43:07 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci
I think it's great that you learned this about yourself and decided that is what's healthy for you.  "Restricting what comes my way" is part and parcel, however, of Master's ownership and control of me.  I placed those decisions in His Hands when I became His. 

For me it goes again what is real, and what is love.  To feel something calling within yourself, to KNOW there is something here that you are being called to explore- and not be allowed to do that, for me now that is about as cruel a thing you can do to someone spiritually.  Would your master prevent you from praying or practicing your religious rituals which you felt were necessary as a part of your spiritual fulfillment?

This is what not being allowed to be with others is like for me.  It is a calling, it is my nature.  Even if I never feel it with another person again, to live in a state of being in which i would not be ALLOWED to do such is simply wrong for me.

For me, love IS allowing someone to be true to who they are.  To deny that in any way would deny love itself.
quote:


To go back to the original question, I asked.....when you were being "restricted" from others, did you experience any positive feelings from that as it was essentially pleasing your master at the time?  Though you weren't able to fulfill yourself as you would have chosen to, did it bring you happiness to know you were being denied and, through this particular denial, thereby pleasing your master at the time?  Just curious and thanks for the answer...........luci

It was always a mixed feeling.  In the happy times, I could gloss them over and focus elsewhere.  But there's a reason those relationships ended and I knew they were not right for me.

Of course it still took me years before I finally wised up enough to what I needed and stopped accepting less than that.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slaveluci)
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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 12:54:00 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		luci my Master is the same as yours Mine, Mine, Mine.   (I however have no desire to be shared) He said i will never share you  with anyone you are mine.  I teased him and said you did not share well as a child did you? He said no and i still don't share what belongs to me.

Matt's littleone

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 1:01:16 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
For me it goes again what is real, and what is love.  To feel something calling within yourself, to KNOW there is something here that you are being called to explore- and not be allowed to do that, for me now that is about as cruel a thing you can do to someone spiritually.  Would your master prevent you from praying or practicing your religious rituals which you felt were necessary as a part of your spiritual fulfillment?

No.  He absolutely would not.  And I honestly believe that if being with other men meant that much to me, Master and I would probably never have entered into our relationship to begin with.  We really did talk it over thoroughly.  He made His stance clear and it was up to me to decide if it really meant that much to me to be with other men.  It did not.  Therefore, I never feel that I'm being denied some major need.  Praying and the other things I do for spiritual fulfillment were non-negotiable and that was discussed thoroughly as well.  He has no issue with respecting that.
quote:

This is what not being allowed to be with others is like for me.  It is a calling, it is my nature.  Even if I never feel it with another person again, to live in a state of being in which i would not be ALLOWED to do such is simply wrong for me

I totally understand.
quote:

It was always a mixed feeling.  In the happy times, I could gloss them over and focus elsewhere.  But there's a reason those relationships ended and I knew they were not right for me.
Of course it still took me years before I finally wised up enough to what I needed and stopped accepting less than that

Good for you.  Thanks again for your wonderful answer.  I think it's terrific that you realized what you truly needed and no longer settle for less than that.  So many of us never do...............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 1:05:51 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35
luci my Master is the same as yours Mine, Mine, Mine.   (I however have no desire to be shared) He said i will never share you  with anyone you are mine.  I teased him and said you did not share well as a child did you? He said no and i still don't share what belongs to me

Yeah, little one.  Master says the same thing  - that He "doesn't play well with others."  He views me as His absolute possession.  His property.  Not to be lent out for use by others.  He's the same with His truck and His guitars.  Guess He's always been that way and He always will.  He loves "showing off" what He owns but draws the line at others touching it or using it.  I respect that He stands by what He desires and believes even though He knows I might enjoy it if He sometimes shared just a little.......luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 2:11:23 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Are there subs/slaves out there who desire to be shared but whose doms/owners do not permit it?  How many sub/slaves are out there who wish to be shared but are willing to not be shared in order to please their dominant? 


I would love to be shared but it won't happen.

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 2:24:20 PM   
fadedlace


Posts: 137
Joined: 5/17/2005
From: Louisiana
Status: offline 		My first Master never shared me because it didn't fit who he'd molded me into and what he desired...my second did share, to the degree of his personal limits...both relationships worked very well for the person I was at those times.  At the current time, if I had my choice and having experienced it quite a few times, I'd want to be shared at least occasionally - but I've only had that personal choice in the past when I was not owned.  Sharing or desiring any others' involvement would have to be discussed before any initial agreement for submission or surrender.  (I should add that I have no one to answer to right now, but when I searched 8 years ago for a Dominant who was open to sharing, I realized that many Dominants around here have sharing as a hard limit.)

< Message edited by fadedlace -- 7/23/2007 2:27:52 PM >

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 2:28:04 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have a fantasy in my head about being shared.  I am not sure how the reality of it would feel though.  It is something he talked about in the beginning, but I tease him about how he loves me too much to share me now.  I think it was something that sounded fun and like a turn on, but I think that is as far as it goes with him now. 
 
We have talked about swinging, but I don't know if that will ever come to pass.  I don't know how it would sit with either one of us to see the other with someone else.  I wonder if it would be a turn on, or if it would hurt..and I suspect he thinks the same thing. 
 
If we decide to do it, it will be a big step and one that we both have to be sure about.  That might happen soon, a couple of years down the road, or never at all.
 
I do enjoy sex a lot, and I do love to experience it with others.  I don't waste emotional energy with it when I decide not to, I just enjoy the ride.  I would like to experience that again, but I would never do that if it risked the wonderful love I share with my husband/Master.
 
 

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 2:30:44 PM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline 		in my service in His House of Wolf, she is not shared nor does He want the scent of another male on His property.....and this is not at all a bad thing since He wants her forcus on important things of Life instead of sexual pleasures.
In the past, living within another House, she was shared at times in the presence of Master...He felt it an honor to have desirable property and was selective with Whom had the pleasure of His property's time....and only within His House.

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 4:42:07 PM   
HisBoo


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/18/2007
Status: offline 		My owner is the same. I have always wanted to be with him and another man but he is so jealous and of course posessive that he would more than likely want to kill the guy. We have been with other women, where part of my submitting to him involved dominating her. But he would never have me submit to anyone other than him. I believe this is showing more ownership than sharing. Also, I think because the D/s part of our relationship is less prominent, part of it is more emotional than technical. I'm sure it would hurt him to see me giving that part of myself to another man, even if it is just once. (I don't know if I've explained that well enough but bah).




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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 6:08:53 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: proudsub
I would love to be shared but it won't happen.

Ok...and this makes you feel?  I'm curious how those who wish to be shared and aren't permitted to be feel about this.  Does it make you unhappy in some way or do you see it as "reinforcing" your slavery/owned status/etc. since you are not permitted to do what you would choose to?  Is it a "turn on" in a different way than being shared, knowing you are being denied the pleasure of being shared by the one who controls you?  I'm just eager to know if there are others out there who feel that way.  Thanks for your answer, proudsub............luci

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To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 6:11:11 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly
I do enjoy sex a lot, and I do love to experience it with others.  I don't waste emotional energy with it when I decide not to, I just enjoy the ride.  I would like to experience that again, but I would never do that if it risked the wonderful love I share with my husband/Master.

Ditto, sleazybutterfly.  That's exactly how I feel.  Thanks for your answer...........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 6:12:37 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul
she is not shared nor does He want the scent of another male on His property

Wow, I love the way you stated that.  I'm sure Master would agree 100%.  Thanks for your answer, atendersoul.......luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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RE: Do you desire to be shared but aren't permitted to? - 7/23/2007 6:14:42 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: fadedlace
when I searched 8 years ago for a Dominant who was open to sharing, I realized that many Dominants around here have sharing as a hard limit.)

I find that somewhat surprising as I would tend to think many doms would desire to share.  Guess Master isn't so unusual after all.  Thanks for your answer, fadedlace (I love your name by the way)..........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

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