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MaitresseEden -> RE: Dick and a Paycheck (6/26/2005 11:55:21 AM)
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We had plans this weekend and I suggested we go dutch. Because of past problems I've had with partners and money, I'm not comfortable letting him foot the whole bill. Perhaps, in time and with trust, that will change, but for right now, I feel very strongly that I should contribute to our outings financially.
I totally understand that dilema Lily, However what happens when you don't have the funds to go "dutch"? I have found that while many like that idea and some want it. When I say " I'm sorry, but I can't afford that at this time, there tends to be some resentment.
As a result of trusting someone in a vanilla relationship to take care of the finances, I'm pretty much financially ruined for the next 10 years or so. He defaulted on my student loans and never told me, even though I was giving him more than enough money to cover my end of our expenses. (Yes, I know I could sue him; I know all that so I'm going to thank you all in advance for the tips. ;-) Needless to say, I've been slowly working on rebuilding my credit.
Been there done that.. I've taken the opposite roles in that I make it plainly clear that if they want to do something I expect them to pay. However this in turns leads them to believe that I am solely interested in thier paycheck. Which In all honesty I'm not. I am just as content to have a quiet night in, grilling some burgers than to go paint the town at 5 star resturants. I can do both, and enjoy both, but often I opt for the more relaxed at home dates than the night out on the town ones. I consider myself to be extremely low maintence in the area of "entertainment" as I would much prefer a deep conversation and a foot massage to a night of "tripping the lights fantastic"
But money is difficult in relationships sometimes. I think of all of the 'outside' forces on a couple, especially a new couple and doubly especially where a D/s dynamic is incorporated, the power of money and the residual 'side effects' need to be respected on the outset
BINGO!.. the power of money and or lack thereof. often is the great eqaulizer in relationships, be them DS or otherwise. Here are some current Statistics courtesy of Amer. Assoc of University Women:
Two-equally-qualified people follwo tthe same careet path in education, skills, and abilities. The only difference is that one is a male and the other , a female. Statistics prove she will earn only 76 cents for every dollar her male counterpart makes.
In he makes $10,000 She makes $7,600
20,000 --- 15,200
30,000 ----- 22,800
40,000 ---- 30,400
50, 000 ---- 38,000
60,000 ---- 45,600
70,000 ---- 53,200
80,000 --- 60,800
90,000 ---- 68,400
100,000 ---- 76,000
The United states Census Bureau reports that the average mean income for women in $40,404 annually. The average mean income for men is $47,532 annually.
based on this single statistic, you are right to assume that- as things stand today- you would be earning more money if you were a man. What would you do with a a raise of $7, 128?
If you believe the woman's movement address the issue of pay equity in its rabble-rousing heyday of the 60's and 70's think again.
Woman have only gained TWELVE CENTS toward pay equity with men in the last 30 years up from 64 cents to 76 cents for every dollar and equibalently-employment man can earned.
At this rate, it will take another 60 years before pay equity is achieved.
Do you have that long to wait? Is this what you want for your daughters and grandaughters?
I guess what perturbs me more than anything is when I see the countless number of posts from men who complain that woman are only out for thier paycheck.. In particular you hear within the scene males complain about the Dommes who want $, or assume they just want to be taken to dinneer, etc. ( referenceing some previous recent threads in which accusations were made toward woman). I posted this in general because I would love some of the men to comment on the topic as well. Perhaps if people had a greater understand of the wage disparity between men and woman they would be less likely to be so hostile about the subject. Granted there are always exceptions, and nothing is ever absolute. It all goes back to what BLKTALLFULLFIG said.. we need to be discussing values, more and $ less.
Ms. Eden
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