RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (Full Version)

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goddessAVA -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 4:56:06 PM)

Hey-I think your question is very valid.  I am going to give you a pro's prospective, like it or not hehehe, I have had many Latino me approach me and have had GREAT sessions with them, Indian man as well, one of my fondest memory is with an Indian male Sub, god was he a hottie!   My ex-Husband was sub to me for 10 years and African American, since then however, unless it is a black male wanting me to use racial slurs, I have not had the opportunity to play with any one identifying as black and sub-so I ask you, why not?  I would LOVE to!



DarkDaddyZ -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 5:03:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: goddessAVA
My ex-Husband was sub to me for 10 years and African American, since then however, unless it is a black male wanting me to use racial slurs, I have not had the opportunity to play with any one identifying as black and sub-so I ask you, why not?  I would LOVE to!


That's an interesting observation. I know that when I used to bottom, I got off on the racial aspect of play, the slurs and the whole nine yards and in some elements of play today, I still get off on that, it's a taboo and part of my draw to the lifestyle was tapping into taboos.

I had a right wing submissive play partner that had her views and we rarely agreed on politics or anything but our play dynamic when it came to race and rape play was like no other but that's hijacking this thread [:D]




EvilGeoff -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 6:55:11 PM)

Having come up in the South, in the 60's, I'm not about to say I'm anything approaching color-blind.   But inter-racial play certainly creates it's own interesting dynamics, fer sure.  My first slave was Native American.  My second was a latina., my janey is of Native American extraction too.

And I've learned from some of the best in the scene, Lady D & Master Hines from Atlanta, Rorie, Lady A and Lady Silverfoxx from Charlotte, LordScorpion from Elizabethtown, vi Johnson, Sir DonTre', Master Regi- from here in Columbia ...  and they just happen to be members of various minority ethnic groupings.  I didn't ask or care about the pigment of their skin, just their skills and attitude.  I've been blessed by their friendship and their wisdom, one and all.

I wish I had an answer about how to get more integration into the Scene.  Diversity is a good thing!

YIK,
- Geoff



Mystique567 -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 7:39:44 PM)

I do seem to have alot of men of color that are Dom that contact me, I really don't see alot in the public scene around here though.



domiguy -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 7:50:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mystique567

I do seem to have alot of men of color that are Dom that contact me, I really don't see alot in the public scene around here though.


It's because you live in Wisconsin.....When I grew up in Appleton the only time you saw someone black was when one of the Packer's players were in town....lol.

Thank God times have changed.

When I chose my avatar I had no idea how rich the payoff was actually going to be.



LSUDomme -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 7:53:23 PM)

I have to agree with juliet there. It isn't that we are not there, it just might be that alot don't engage in it publicly.

That and maybe their minister said something against it. It could be a myriad of things. The only thing we should really worry about is making every person feel comfortable, kicking out the dangerous ones, and being balanced.



MzMia -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 7:56:06 PM)

Hello LSU Domme, I usually pass on all the "racial" threads.
But, I will say this....
Do you really think most Black people, especially women feel comfortable
around or interacting with many in this lifestyle?
I am debating right now if I feel like attending a lifestyle event.

I personally see what I perceive as a lot of racists in this lifestyle.



DarkDaddyZ -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 8:03:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Hello LSU Domme, I usually pass on all the "racial" threads.
But, I will say this....
Do you really think most Black people, especially women feel comfortable
around or interacting with many in this lifestyle?

I personally see what I perceive as a lot of racists in this lifestyle.

While this wasn't directed at me and while I get that there aren't many black people there are out in their local communities and I believe that many of us blacks were nervous to branch out in their local communities because of a perception that we may have given ourselves out of fear, I really can't say there are many racists in my experience within the lifestyle (and I've been all over the South, East Coast and I reside in the Bay Area now).

In Atlanta, that doesn't have many black people there are still several leatherfolk who are black that are considered community leaders (though I do not really like that term).  Lady D headed People Exchange Power-Atlanta (or PEP Atlanta) for over 10 years.  As I said in a previous post regarding Old Guard, Rico Ware ran many leather events and a leather club (Bulldogs) and though he goes between Atlanta and the Bay Area now, Hines has taught all over the country and is well respected (and a good friend). Jill Carter, vi johnson Gayton, Queen Cougar and Cain Berlinger have tons of experience within the SM community and have mentored many of us in one way or another and with the exception of Cain (and you would just have to know Cain) I haven't heard much from them about having issues based on race, and Jill and vi were active in Tulsa, OK in the mid 90s ! (Okay, I'm not hating on Oklahoma, but you get the idea)

Could you share your experiences as to why you think the community is more racist than other elements of society?

Thanks,
Z-



MzMia -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 8:07:19 PM)

I am not going to really debate this, I normally steer clear of the "racial" threads.
IMHO, many in this lifestyle, including a great many here at CM are racists.
 
Again, that is MY opinion, your's may be different and you are entitled to it.
 
By the way, my ex-husband is White, and I primarly only deal with White men.
 



DarkDaddyZ -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 8:12:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

I am not going to really debate this, I normally steer clear of the "racial" threads.
IMHO, many in this lifestyle, including many here at CM are racists.
 
Again, that is MY opinion, your's may be different and you are entitled to it.
 
By the way, my ex-husband is White, and I primarly only deal with White men.
 


I understand it being your opinion but you brought that in the forums as a blanket statement so in trying to open a dialouge, I was curious what you based that on.
I'd also like to ask what your ex husband being white has to do with it or is it that there has been some resistance in your experience as a Black Woman with a White Husband (I am not sure if it was a power exchange relationship or not).

I haven't served many women of color when I bottomed over 14 years ago and I have only had 2 submissives/slaves who were black. I'm not colorblind but I like what I  like. My current slave of over 5 years is white too, but her racial make up wasn't why I wanted her, it was her desire to serve and the connection we have :)

But that's hijacking the thread isn't it? [:)]



MzMia -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 8:15:03 PM)

I mentioned my ex-husband to drive home the point, that I am far from being racist.
It's nice seeing you post, don't be a stranger.[:)]
Again, as I said, this is MY opinion only.
 
I also need to state that I never said "all".
This is an issue for ME, and a concern for ME, and why I don't attend more events.
I can't speak for other people.



LSUDomme -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 8:47:38 PM)

well....
it is all about who you are involved with. Example: I have friends who are involved with RSVP( a munch in my old baton rouge) if you are in idiota town,usa..then it won't be cool. Just be sure to have your boundaries.
That is all I can say. If you don't feel safe, don't go..or bring friends.



MzMia -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 8:50:28 PM)

Oh, I feel safe, LOL, I am in the big city.
I am hardly going to 2Twigs,Alabama or out in the middle of nowheresville.

I would not go anywhere I don't feel safe.
But, I can't "open" up or feel comfortable "playing" in a situation where I have
a certain "vibe".
Ya feel me?

Also being a Black Female Dominant and not a little scared submissive does not help.
If I was on the submissive/slave ticket I would probably fit right in.
Again, it is a perception thing, we all perceive differently.



Descara -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 9:04:07 PM)

A lot of thoughts are flowing in my head at the moment, but most of them have already been said. What I will add is that if you look at any given community racial minorities are in the minority in most if not all of them. The BDSM scene is no exception. It does seem to lend some logic to why we're called minorities...and I don't mean to sound flip. Seems to me you only find a majority of a particular racial minority in situations that are specifically created for those minorities.



julietsierra -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 10:38:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Oh, I feel safe, LOL, I am in the big city.
I am hardly going to 2Twigs,Alabama or out in the middle of nowheresville.

I would not go anywhere I don't feel safe.
But, I can't "open" up or feel comfortable "playing" in a situation where I have
a certain "vibe".
Ya feel me?

Also being a Black Female Dominant and not a little scared submissive does not help.
If I was on the submissive/slave ticket I would probably fit right in.
Again, it is a perception thing, we all perceive differently.


Well, I can't answer for the rest of the country MzMia, but here in Detroit, you'd be welcome. My Master is definitely not on the submissive/slave ticket and it definitely works for him.

There are probably those around us who are dealing with racist views of things, but I gotta tell you, I see more of that at my vanilla community than I do in the bdsm community. However, I am also caucasian, so I may be more unaware of the undercurrents than he is.

We do take our time and only play when and where we feel comfortable with the people and the venue. So, if you're attending a party - especially one that is monthly, it might be worth your while to take your time. Attend and simply get to know people before you bring in your toy bag. Then, when you feel comfortable with your surroundings, whale away.

juliet



LadyHeart -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/26/2007 10:41:18 PM)

To get minorities of whatever kind involved, the main community has to go out and actively seek them. There is no other way. Minorities tend to assume they are unwelcome unless they are shown otherwise - not told, shown. In order to get gay males and lesbian females along to our parties we had to go looking, to build bridges, and to show them we really wanted them there. It's no different with racial minorities or with people with disablilites or whatever else makes people a minority. Someone has to care enough to go looking, and to make sure that others are welcoming when they finally join the main community.
That's my experience, anyway.
:))
LH



Stephann -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/27/2007 2:08:03 AM)

So I'm going to make a few statements, at the risk of seeming unqualified to do so (being clearly caucasian.)

My experience has been that educated blacks (specifically) tend to be more religiously christian than their white counterparts.  This religious influence has an important cultural anchor, with clear historical roots.  You can add to this the powerful impact that segregation had on minority communities, that forced blacks to stick together in a way that whites have never had to.  Simply put, blacks are more likely to be community minded than whites.  BDSM and D/s lifestylers, in contrast, often seem not to have the same depth and importance of their families and communities.  BDSM is, afterall, a personal and very private endeavor.  Frankly, it's hard to go home from a play party at 2 am, to be up by 7, to be in church by 9.  The individualistic thought that BDSM (seems) to encourage also seems to run contrary to the community ideals that christianity (especially the sort of community christianity practiced by many blacks) encourage.  I will say, this is from my experience in the US; I suspect that in the UK and Australia, minorities would be more likely to be evenly represented; anyone care to comment on this?

Beyond this, I've not found asians or hispanics to be especially under represented in the BDSM community, though first generation asians and hispanics seem to have the same issue as I discussed with african americans, in terms of the role their family and community play in their activities.  Middle Eastern minorities seem to be the least represented, though.  I'm not exactly sure why not, other than it could be cultural in nature.

Just my arm chair ramblings.

Stephan



wandersalone -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/27/2007 3:10:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
 I will say, this is from my experience in the US; I suspect that in the UK and Australia, minorities would be more likely to be evenly represented; anyone care to comment on this?
 

I don’t know if minorities are any more evenly represented in Australia …I think I am about the only Australian-Indian that goes to one of the Perth munches … wow maybe I am under-represented.  However I tend to forget the Indian part of my heritage until I look in a mirror or someone is disappointed when they find out that I can’t cook curries. [:D]



LadyHeart -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/27/2007 4:11:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wandersalone

quote:

ORIGINAL: Stephann
 I will say, this is from my experience in the US; I suspect that in the UK and Australia, minorities would be more likely to be evenly represented; anyone care to comment on this?
 

I don’t know if minorities are any more evenly represented in Australia …I think I am about the only Australian-Indian that goes to one of the Perth munches … wow maybe I am under-represented.  However I tend to forget the Indian part of my heritage until I look in a mirror or someone is disappointed when they find out that I can’t cook curries. [:D]



Smiles at wanders - actually, I know of four including yourself, but that's the only ethnic minority I do know of - definitely haven't seen anyone of Aboriginal descent, nor any Polynesians, and only a couple of Asians that I can think of.

:))
LH



Stephann -> RE: More minorities in the lifstyle (7/27/2007 4:16:12 AM)

But I'd briefly ask, is that in stark contrast to the numbers of these minorities you see in your day to day life?

Stephan



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