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RE: how to punish a slave - 7/26/2007 7:55:39 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mastersangelbaby

Thank you to those who offered advice and to those who had rude and unhelpful comments. Bite me. My Master is not lazy and yes asking here is part of the punishment. It is not called for to be rude and hateful.


Since you haven't met your Master as yet, you really have no way to know whether he is lazy or not.  It could be that he's just as much a noob as you are and he doesn't know how to punish you either.  However, I don't believe in punishment.  I believe in correction, as I illustrated previously. 

You put your problem on a public board ... unfortunately, that means that you may not like the responses you receive.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/26/2007 8:16:41 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mastersangelbaby

I am new to the site and the lifestyle. I have meet a Master and am quite happy with our online relationship until W/we have the chance to meet. I need help though. See Master gave me a task which i din't complete and lied about it to Him. It was a small lie and one that I am truely sorry about. He has said that i must find 15 different ways to punish someone online. Being new and never haveing a Master before, r/t or online, He has given me His permission to ask the Master here for ideas. How would You punish a slave that lied? Please if you would help me with ideas I would be greatful.


First of all, welcome to the site and to BDSM. 

I can't claim to be any sort of expert regarding the online M/s relationship, but I am in a long term (10+ years) r/t M/s relationship so take what I have to say with a grain of salt.. and feel free to take what others here have had to say with a huge shot of brandy.

Okay, first.. IF I decided to even keep you for telling a lie, my first inclination would be to have you write an essay on lying. Why did you do it? What were the motives and what did you hope to gain from your deception? I would require it to be well researched with X number of pages, footnotes and within a certain time frame. During the writing I wouldn't allow you any access to the computer until it was written to my satisfaction. Since my standards are very high, that may take more than a draft or two before it would be accepted. Upon completion, we'd discuss the paper, the reason it needed to be written and what steps you were willing to take in the furture to ensure it didn't happen again. This, of course, based on the assumption you would want to remain mine. By lying to me in the first place, I'd surely need  to be convinced of your sincerity .. small lie or not.

I believe there were a few other suggestions you got and hopefully, you'll think of a few on your own.. it is 'your' homework after all. Good luck, sorry for the cold shoulder that some have given to you.. and the assumptions made regarding your Master. I hope it doesn't put you off the forums although, I suspect, we might not see you around again. Can't say that I'd blame you if you decided not to return.

Celeste





_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/26/2007 8:21:39 PM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mastersangelbaby

Thank you to those who offered advice and to those who had rude and unhelpful comments. Bite me. My Master is not lazy and yes asking here is part of the punishment. It is not called for to be rude and hateful.


Angelbaby,

If in fact you are really a submissive woman and not some wanker looking for new masturbation material (which happens all too often here), please read on...

While it doesn't seem right or fair, the reason that you've received mostly sharp responses here is because those of us who have been around here for awhile see brand new sub after brand new sub (and I'm including slave in there, too) come here asking for assistance with punishment ideas.  These subs have invariably gotten involved with some online "master" who has determined that the sub has made a grievous error and must be corrected. 

The problem is, these online "masters" aren't really masters... or they're very poor ones (and I'm being very charitable there).  More often than not, these subs are never heard from again.  That, or it isn't too long before the same submissive is back here heartbroken asking what to do when her master disappears... or when he won't meet her in person... or when she finds out he is married... or has twelve other online "slaves"... or wants her to find a "sister".

Do yourself a huge favor and dump this guy who most likely collared you within a few days without ever having met you.  Delete the contract and list of rules that he's sent you and erase all your online chats and emails.  Take a deep breath and consider it your first lesson learned.  D/s (or M/s) relationships, like any real relationship, take time.  You wouldn't go and marry some man three days after meeting online without ever laying eyes on him, would you?  Do you think giving yourself to someone is any less serious?

Take your time here.  Read the forums... read some books on D/s relationships... talk to people... ask questions... consider checking out a local BDSM group.  Give yourself some time to learn... not only about this lifestyle, but about yourself and what to look for and expect in a partner.

Best Wishes,
Treasure


(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/26/2007 8:26:52 PM   
sleazybutterfly


Posts: 2801
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		When I was talking to a dom online, before I started in real life, that is actually a punishment that he gave me (the flyswatter).  I think it is very hard to punish yourself, unless cutting off contact would be harder on you than anything else (and that may very well be).  You lied and you shouldn't have.  You are an adult and that is something you already knew.  Why did you lie to him?  That is probably something that you do need to get to the bottom of. 
 
I think for most of us just knowing that our dom is letdown by our actions is enough, maybe that is enough for you also.  Perhaps you could write an essay, I have heard of that before from others (though it was never one of mine). 
 
I guess I really just don't believe in punishing an adult.  You should find out why they did it, you should talk to them about it, but to punish seems sort of childish to me (though I am friends with a lot that get it).
 
Being online with someone in a relationship is hard enough without having to be concerned whether all of the parties involved are commited 100%.  Lying is not something I stand for, nor does my Master..I would be out on my ear.  Just tell him you are sorry, you know what you did was wrong and that you will not repeat it in the future. 
 
Stay here and keep learning.  We all have bad days, hours, and even seconds around here..we are only human.  I for one have had a poo-poo day and wasn't in the best of advice modes.
 
I just think that sometimes things should be handled in a private matter between the dom/sub/slave/switch..rather than plastered all over the boards (been there, done that...it ain't pretty).
 
I really do hope it all works out for you, we have all been new at this at some point.  There is always something to learn..and only time and real experience will get you there.

edited to add:  What Treasure said above.  Please just be safe and cautious.

< Message edited by sleazybutterfly -- 7/26/2007 8:29:23 PM >

_____________________________

~Flutterby
~Curvylicious
Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, she became a butterfly.
Life is not a popularity contest, it's better to be hated for what you believe, than loved for a lie.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/26/2007 9:02:01 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Lying would be a major offense for me, however big or small.  I would be berated quite sharply for it, I would have to write an essay on why a slave should never lie to her Master and why I did, and like you, I would probably be asked how I think he should punish me for it - Not because he can not think of punishments on his own, in fact he is quite creative in his punishments, but to get me to think about what I am putting him through. 

Lying, however big or small, is dishonest and disrespectful.  Even if it were a tiny lie, he would come down on me quite hard to make a point.

Oh and like you, I met my Master online, too, and submitted to him prior to ever meeting him.  I hope you are able to meet soon.  Best of luck to you.

(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/26/2007 9:35:35 PM   
SweetCaleigh


Posts: 59
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline 		Lieing can be caused by being fearful.  If you lied because you feared what He might say or do then there is no trust.  If you can't trust Him then there is no relationship.  Either take the time and find out what you are afraid of or move on to better pastures.
 
*sweet caleigh*

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/26/2007 10:11:37 PM   
Kinkypupper


Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline 		Or go buy a Tens unit put it on your outer lips and turn it on 10.

Now turn around 3 times saying " I look like a fool, I look like a fool"

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 1:14:50 AM   
spankinnewbie2


Posts: 6
Joined: 4/6/2007
Status: offline 		Is it possible my Master is lazy and that is why I was ordered to write on this board? Is it possible that He can't come up with a punishhment Himself? Yes, it is possible. Anything is possible, anyone in this site could be a 16 year old boy getting his kicks. Do I believe he only ordered me to post because of this? No. He has explained His reasoning behind this order and while some might not understand it, I do. I am not some dimwitted little girl that has no mind of her own.I have not been collared by Him and will not be until W/we have met and are secure in O/our relationship to take it to that level. As to why I lied it was because I was scared, but not scared of Him. In doing so I realize that I was wrong and that there is no true excuse for doing it. I will accept any punishment HE desides is needed and more on with the relationship.

I thank those of Y/you that have given honest and caring advise. I greatly apprieciate it. Thank Y/y for the welcomes also.  

(in reply to Kinkypupper)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 2:11:37 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Frankly, as an 'online' punishment, this sounded like a good one, with real life value.

Telling a slave to write fifteen ways she should be punished, should mean that every single one she writes, she's shuddering in misery, thinking about how horrible it would be, and how terrible she felt for deserving it.

It's not about the crop folks, it's about what's in your head.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 2:17:18 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		but in actuality, why is your punishment to punish others?

it is not like you are following through with your AA 12 step program and apologizing to people you have wronged.

what did we (people of the net world) do to him?

nothing.

making you mean, is the punishment? so it is a 'carry it forward' negative-style?

he is not lazy, he is merely making you become like one more internet pest LOL. Goodies, that is all the world needs.


(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 2:24:33 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I don't feel punished.  If anything, reading this thread gave me a new idea on punishment.  I hadn't considered the value of such a task before now.....

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 3:23:47 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		I didn't say she began yet, she is asking why he is doing this.

where and when she does this? who knows it could be on a political site.

Nothing wrong with asking what he means but only he knows that answer I guess.

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 6:26:04 AM   
MasterMataeo


Posts: 215
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline 		think of your deepest darkest fears ,, write them in your journal ,,, that should give you a few ideas of what punishments you don't want,, ,, as for me i prefer to discipline ,,, corner time,, making them sleep on the floor,, leave the bathroom door open,, walk around the house naked if they don't like to ,,  clean the house,, spend time in a closet,,  simple things can be the most effective,,
there i helped,,, ,,
But if i was you i would listen to these people,, most on-line "masters" aren't true,,  but there are the few that are,, and you ,, and only you can figure out that for sure

MasterMataeo

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 6:51:26 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Ive had to write sentances as punishment before...and half way through I started using the & intead of actually writing out "and"...and had to write them all over again...really sucked.

anyway, half the punishment wasnt the fact that my wrist hurt so bad I didnt think Id be able to use my right had for weeks, it was the degreading feeling that this was something a child would be made to do....but then, some of us actually like that feeling too....so...who knows...

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to MasterMataeo)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 7:15:08 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just what we need, more doms thinking that "punishment" will solve all their problems.  Thinking that if they scare the sub, get aggressive and "put her in her place" that all will be well.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 7:50:01 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Please if you would help me with ideas I would be greatful.


If you want ideas click "search" at the top of the page and put in "online punishment" and "long distant punishment" and change the options to topics and subjects, and you will get several threads that have ideas in them.

I had a list of threads for you but for some reason they didn't post, i probably clicked cancel instead of post, sorry.

< Message edited by proudsub -- 7/27/2007 7:51:18 AM >

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 7:56:28 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		What I'd like to know, is when, in the long hisotry of the world, did it occur to people that punishment will somehow make a submissive person feel more submissive?

I was chatting with someone new just last night.  He was joking around, talking about corner time and whatever and the conversation ground to a halt because I let him know I didn't share the same views as seemingly most of the BDSM (for lack of a better description) world regarding punishment.  Of course, he immediately went on the defensive tack of accusing me in not so many words, of topping from the bottom, etc. 

The point I made to him was this ... that every person is different and what may work for one won't work for another.  I happen to be fully aware of my personal reactions to such events and I am definitely one of the ones for whom it doesn't work.  He deflated, as if it were a mortal injury that I would dare be anything outside the box.

To the OP ...

You are new to all of this, according to your own post.  You might try taking all the comments, whether you agree with them or not, under advisement and think about all of them.  There is not one, concrete, black and white method to ANY of this.  You have to do what you feel is best for you, personally, but you also have to be open to self-reflection and introspection.  Don't take anything anyone says, including your dominant, at face value.  Explore all the avenues, all the sides, and learn about you.  Don't accept just because you're told to accept.  Question and learn.  Above all, take care of yourself.



_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 10:42:10 AM   
HypnoticDan


Posts: 463
Joined: 5/23/2007
Status: offline 		Your master has made you into a punishment troll.  Nice.  

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 12:36:23 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mastersangelbaby

Thank you to those who offered advice and to those who had rude and unhelpful comments. Bite me. My Master is not lazy and yes asking here is part of the punishment. It is not called for to be rude and hateful.
Sorry, I agree with LA, it makes your "Master" look bad.  It just makes me roll my eyes and say "Here we go, again."

I can tell you that Master would consider airing our dirty laundry on a forum full of strangers to be far worse than what you did to begin with. This would actually emabarrass him.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 7/27/2007 12:56:54 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 12:59:10 PM   
mastersangelbaby


Posts: 4
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		Sorry, I used a friends computer last night and didn't realize that I was under her name.


came4u, will you explain to me why it is a punishment to you? No one asked you or forced you to read this thread, you choose to do so on your own. How was that question mean? I only became "mean" when people started to bash U/us.

I never once asked  here why He was he was doing this, I was already informed by Him as to the reasons behind it. It was part of His corrective measures. I will take anything He desides, not because I'm some weak little sub that will do anything just to have a Master, but because I know that what I did was wrong and that there should be consequences for wrong actions.

how is it wrong to ask for advise here? That is what I thought the boards were for. If I can't ask here, without rude and hateful people jumping my case and disrespecting me and my Master, where should I ask? Where do you feel is the appropriate place for this?

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 40
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