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RE: how to punish a slave - 7/27/2007 1:51:41 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Feastie actually gave you great advice.

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
You might try taking all the comments, whether you agree with them or not, under advisement and think about all of them.  There is not one, concrete, black and white method to ANY of this.  You have to do what you feel is best for you, personally, but you also have to be open to self-reflection and introspection. 


I also feel that there is a difference between asking advice and asking a bunch of strangers to determine how to handle your relationship with your submissive. Well, he didn't even do that. He sent you to ask others how to tell him how to handle his relationship with his submissive. He's expecting others to do it for him. That's why you're getting the reaction you are.

You might also want to consider that several of the posters that said that your "Master" should be more concerned with the "Why" of the transgression rather than punishment for it are in long term (as in multiple year), real life, 24/7, sucessful relationships, instead of getting angry at not getting the answer that you wanted.



_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/29/2007 3:12:09 PM   
labrat18610


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		I've had three Masters. If I did anything to displease them, I got an instantaneous whack. I knew that what ever I just did was forbidden. You learn fast that way. The other was the Master's "look". A glare meant He was displeased and you better be begging for His mercy. Quite frankly, I didn't have the "balls" to lie to them. Any experienced Master would  have taken immediate drastic actions for  this terrible error of dishonesty. It sounds as though your online Master maybe new at this.
BTW,  On line? Remember that truth is a lost commodity on the net.
Rick

(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/29/2007 5:16:18 PM   
SirBass


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		This is getting out of hand. Everyone of you who has stated that he is lazy and not worthy of the term Master has dishonored yourself and Whom ever you serve. I have done this very thing MANY TIMES to those I have trained. Both Doms/Dommes and sub/slaves. I never ONCE used the ideas they came up with due to the very fact the act in and of ITSELF was the correction that was needed. She knew she was wrong and is accepting of the punishment. She is learning what COULD happen. Not what WILL happen.

One lie is all they are allowed. Two lies and they have my dissappointment and no long belong to me. Period.

I truely can not believe that there are so many scornful and hate filled people out there that they would trash both Him and her. People have asked me why I do not read the forums. Most of those who have posted to this thread are the very reason I dont. Instead of being helpful and explaining what has happened to you in the past you can only call him lazy even without knowing the entire conversation. Even after she posted part of the conversation you CONTINUED  to belittle Him and her. The old adage goes "If you dont have something nice to say, Then say nothing at all." Or even better. "Better the world thinks your a quiet fool then opening your mouth and proving them right."

< Message edited by SirBass -- 7/29/2007 5:18:17 PM >

(in reply to labrat18610)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/29/2007 5:19:46 PM   
grlneedstolearn


Posts: 728
Joined: 1/29/2007
Status: offline 		When i do something wrong my Dom will usually talk to me first about why, and than we discuss what punishment i should have. i put a thread/post on here regarding punishments and yes some of them, not all, said that we both need to figure it out on our own; ty everyone who told me that by the way. So i would say talk to your Master and come up with something that would let you know that you did something wrong.
  Best of luck

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/29/2007 5:27:58 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		With all due respect Bass ...

Your way works for you...it doesn't work for everyone.  Each person is entitled to his or her own opinion, as you are yours, but that's all it is.  Opinions are the same as assholes, everyone has one.

I haven't read anywhere in the TOS that everyone is assured of platitudes when they make a post here.  In fact, the only thing assured is that if you violate the TOS, then you will be called on it.  Having an opinion, based on an OP is not against the TOS. 

You might stop to consider why there might be so many people of the same mind on this issue.



_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to grlneedstolearn)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/29/2007 5:54:39 PM   
silentguy


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/6/2006
Status: offline 		    Truly an interesting read, i must say I agree with Bass, and like so many have pointed out, each and every relationship is different. Far be it from us to judge any but our own sub. We all cross the bridges we chose and others we burn before or after we cross them.
   Punishment works for some, it works for me, and I do it because I can, my slave knows as much. There is no discussion on what punishement is dispensed, she is informed on what it is, and a great deal of the times it's her job to figure out why as well. This obviously is not the case, but when a sub/slave lies to it's Master/Dom, punishment is due.

Silent

(in reply to feastie)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/29/2007 9:46:06 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		If they didn't wish their situation and relationship to be judged or open to speculation, they shouldn't have made it public, Silent.  Did they really expect that people would just pony up and behave as they felt they should?  That's a bit naive.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to silentguy)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/30/2007 12:36:46 AM   
robertolapiedra


Posts: 520
Joined: 5/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mastersangelbaby

I am new to the site and the lifestyle. I have meet a Master and am quite happy with our online relationship until W/we have the chance to meet. I need help though. See Master gave me a task which i didn't complete and lied about it to Him. It was a small lie and one that I am truly sorry about. He has said that i must find 15 different ways to punish someone online. Being new and never having a Master before, r/t or online, He has given me His permission to ask the Master here for ideas. How would You punish a slave that lied? Please if you would help me with ideas I would be grateful.


Hello mastersangelbaby. Ok... let's say your master found an "original" way to punish you... by "lying" to you! He really does not give a shit about what the people here suggest as he "knows" you would be making him look bad. He also knows that you won't find 15 ways to punish lying.

What you are getting here is an object lesson. He is exposing you as a liar in "cyber-public" to humiliate you. Consider yourself punished. Go tell your dom you understand and won't do it again. Do not forget to tell him how devilishly smart he is. RL

Edit: Typo


< Message edited by robertolapiedra -- 7/30/2007 12:38:11 AM >

(in reply to mastersangelbaby)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/30/2007 8:29:45 AM   
chey


Posts: 121
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		I like the way you are looking at it Robert! I have no idea what his motive is but when I first read the post I almost felt the same way, that he was not actually looking for ideas but that he was making her commit to this post thread and listen to what everyone had to say both good and bad. So I did not think the bad comments were a horrible thing. She may need to hear it, maybe it will make her feel exactly what her Masters is hoping she will feel. If I were her I'm sure it would make me feel regret over what I did. Who is to say that when she comes back to him with 15 ways others punish and her experience here that he is not going to ask her how she feels? What she learned? I for one probably would feel a bit of humiliation. 

Or.....maybe he just did not know how to punish her. I personally would rather think the other scenario! *smiles* Makes for a better story.

Oh, and as for punishment: I kind of like the physical but totally understand how it is different when you have done something bad and the mindset not being even remotely the same as when you are doing it for enjoyment. However I met a dominant man who uses essays and math problems for punishment. Okay, I love writing so I would not mind the essay (unless it was research) but math? Shoot me!! I would have to cheat.

What personally works for me is understanding. Sit down and talk to me first, tell me what I did, ask me questions. A lot of times with questions I end up talking myself through it and with a knot in the pit of my stomach completely begin to see what I did and feel regret for it, wishing I could take it back. Usually it never has to go any further because I will not make the same mistake, however if I do? Then no more talking, a simple "we've talked about this before" and a punishment get the point across.

Good luck and I hope it all works out.

(in reply to robertolapiedra)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/30/2007 9:37:05 AM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		What you are getting here is an object lesson. He is exposing you as a liar in "cyber-public" to humiliate you. Consider yourself punished. Go tell your dom you understand and won't do it again. Do not forget to tell him how devilishly smart he is. RL

You hit the nail on the head there .. Correct a mundo !!!

_____________________________

" Weapon Of Ass Destruction" † Bitch tested slut approved †

(in reply to chey)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/30/2007 1:27:01 PM   
labrat18610


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		SirBass, Sir;
I agree that some of the comments posted here do indicate that the master is lazy, not a "real" Master, etc. Having Your slave find out what other Masters would deem  as an appropriate punishment for her insubordination may be a learning experience for her/him.
Yet, Sir, You also stated, "One lie is all they are allowed. Two lies and they have my dissappointment and no long belong to me. Period". I'm quite sure that You indicated Your intentions to Your slave in no uncertain terms.
From the slave's post, it seems her Master is farming out his punishments rather than directly dealing with her insubordination. While a knowlegde of how deeply other Masters view her error may give her a sense of the gravity of the situation; You, Sir, took control.and set limits. This Master's control sounds lacking from her post.
With respect, Sir.
Rick

(in reply to SirBass)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/30/2007 3:48:28 PM   
chey


Posts: 121
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		Rick, I'm not sure I see that perspective coming from the original post. I only saw one line that stated

He has said that i must find 15 different ways to punish someone online.
 
How do you infer from that one sentence that he is not able or willing to deal with her in his own way? Maybe I missed something, I will have to go back and re-read the first post. She also may have condensed the actual events to keep the post short so there could be more. I would like to hear back from her and find out what he ended up doing.

(in reply to labrat18610)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/30/2007 6:15:20 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chey
What she learned? I for one probably would feel a bit of humiliation. 
  Personally, I don't believe that humiliation should be used as punishment. It can do permanent damage to the psyche, which violates my first rule D/s BDSM "Do no harm". I think it's poor practice even in a relatively mild scenario like this one.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to chey)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/31/2007 5:56:04 AM   
chey


Posts: 121
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		And humiliation may not have been proper word. If receiving some off color comments on a message board are going to do you harm then perhaps this is not the best path for you for many reasons. I'll be more careful with my words next time!


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/31/2007 12:30:05 PM   
labrat18610


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Dear chey;
After I re-read that line a few times, it set off my bulls*** meter. "Someone"? SOMEONE ? That word sticks out like a red flag.
Either her online  Master is a voyeristic geek with a computer or this is a troll question. Her Master gave her "permission" to ask this question to the group, but hadn't he already ordered her to find 15 online ways? Which is it? See, things are not fitting neatly into place.I know it's little things that seem not to fit in, but the more you closely read it, the more this doesn't pass the smell test.
Chey, you, I  & others may have been trolled.
Rick

(in reply to chey)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/31/2007 1:03:46 PM   
rc4otkVA


Posts: 52
Joined: 9/12/2005
Status: offline 		I'm giving your master the benefit of the doubt here, and assuming that he is not being a lazy ass, but is in fact giving you an opportuniy to see how other masters might correct a lying slave. He's probably expecting you to find that he is very forgiving compaired to what some would do to a slave who lied.

If I were trying to correct that type of behavior from an online sub, I'd have them wirte an esay on why they lied, and why it was unacceptable. It forces the sub to consider what they've done and mentally lecture themselves.

Harsh punishment for lying only give the slave so much to fear, that they only learn to tell better lies to avoid punishment.

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/31/2007 1:12:39 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		What is that old saying.......if it looks like (fill in the blank ) and it smells like (fill in the blank ) then it probably is (fill in the blank )

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to rc4otkVA)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/31/2007 2:39:29 PM   
chey


Posts: 121
Joined: 7/1/2005
Status: offline 		Rick I saw her wording more of case of poor writing and not so much lying.

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: how to punish a slave - 7/31/2007 4:41:09 PM   
labrat18610


Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
Status: offline 		Hi chey;
I think almost everybody is picking up something odd about this post. It's either a lazy Master or something just doesn't make sense. I do think the person, who wrote this, genuinely wanted to know about online punishment; but perhaps, added some artistic license as to her reasons why.
Rick

(in reply to chey)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: how to punish a slave - 8/1/2007 9:49:36 PM   
Keshia1969


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings

this one got punished by not speaking with her for around a week for little things , but her ex Master punished her for a month without words from him or no contact from him  for lieing ....the worst this one got punished for was standing and throwing rocks at my ex Master cause we lived so close to eachother....because another Master told her to so do such and me being slave you have to answer to every free ....i had gotten 10 lashes across my butt....but after he saw that just excited me,then it became the silent treatment.

~~~well wishes~~~
keshia1969

(in reply to sleazybutterfly)
Profile   Post #: 60
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