RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Full Version)

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NakedGirlScout -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:41:26 AM)

Wouldn't it be better to take someone's word for it that they really want to hurt themselves, whether the rest of their story is true or not, and either give them actual good advice or just ignore the poster if you can't bear to take it seriously? What if it's someone who is a compulsive liar and mentally unstable who is just looking to create a small uproar... does that mean it's suddenly ok to goad them into doing more, maybe really hurting themselves or perhaps their children where we can't see the effects of our words, offline?

Just one possible scenario:
The poster has dissociative identity disorder (multiple personality). They post in a confused, contradictory way because they're confused in themselves about what's really happened. They slip in and out of different personalities, each with its own version of truth. But they really are hurting badly, and at least one of the personalities is a self-mutilator. They read "go and commit suicide!" and in a confused state they start hearing voices urging them to cut or burn...

That's only one possible scenario. Far fetched? No, I've seen it at least several times in reality. Think it's none of your business if you make a joke at someone's expense and they happen to be unstable enough to act on it? Then it's none of your business making irresponsible comments, not knowing the facts. It's usually the same people with the same belligerent, condescending, hateful attitudes; you're making asses of yourselves far more than some hysterical perhaps confused or deranged poster.



mistoferin -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:41:58 AM)

I would suggest that sometimes the most helpful thing that a person can read is that bullshit drama is inappropriate and won't be catered to or tolerated and that not everyone is an idiot who is going to fall for such blatantly obvious stupidity and stroke your "center of attention" fetish.



Emperor1956 -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:46:26 AM)

As I'm apparently one of the thoughtless "mockers" who is destructive to our community, yadda yadda yadda, I'd like to weigh in here. 

The issue of whether the OP is sincere, authentic, etc. seems to me to be very much at issue.  Mistoferin and others have identified the red flags that made this post look like a troll.  One I'll add is that in her journal she talks about being "only 18" where as on her profile she's 21.  Odd for a person to forget their age. 

And once you or I decide its a troll, then I guess the issue is do you (or I) rise to the bait?  Do we turn the page?  Do we post OT?   There is another tiresome thread on here where the "Goreans" are telling the non-Goreans to go away and leave their section of CM to those who follow their philosophy -- my answer to them is the same as my answer to Stephann and others:   This is a free system, and I can post where and when I want to.  If it upsets you, if it is uncaring (in your eyes), hell, if it is stupid, tough.  You may judge me (and God knows, enough of you do*) but I still have the right to post when and where I see fit.

Said another way:   I'd rather read threads of uncaring mocking and loopy replies than phony "Oh what about this poor poor girl!" and "I'm so much holier than THOU!" 

E.

___________________
*Not a whine; rest assured, I judge you too.



mistoferin -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:46:43 AM)

I'm sorry, where was it that I encouraged the poster to go kill herself?



came4U -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:49:07 AM)

Well, there are some things I would joke about but never this.

one should always assume the person is genuine,

If I fell for it, oh well, no loss either way, If I hadn't and a person took a flying leap, whether I found out about it or not, I would be scared for life.

ok, maybe not for life. Since this is neither my occupation (as a suicide prevention officer) nor my responsibility.

Either/or, anyone who falls so deeply so quickly, sigh...

No man worth dyin' for.  (ok ..maybe Garth Brooks)



LaTigresse -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:53:05 AM)

Using fast reply.


Or we could call it the law of natural selection..........



CrazyC -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:53:12 AM)

Chey,

When i worked at a crisis line, the most important thing was to make sure you treat every call like it is a real and true. Even if you feel like there might be some untruth to a situation, it might be completely real to that person at that moment. Since we don't know a persons mental state or what they have gone through, we cannot judge what is real or not....just be leary. I am always willing to help another and always will be. The point of when someone might be justy using you or making drama is when after you try to help it is turned with more excuses of why something can't work, or keep asking for the same kind of help. I don't how many times i have had to just sit and let someone talk out their issues, because that is all I can do. I leave never knowing if i really did them any good, but i keep hoping that maybe having someone listen was all they needed.

Stephann....Thank you for the story. I love it.



mnottertail -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:57:21 AM)

agreed, but there is a vast difference in a one on one phonecall and coming to collarme and asking your closest 20,000 friends whether or not you should cakk yourself, first post out. plus it pays to read the profile and all kinda stuff. 

My experience is that if someone is going to cakk or otherwise do themselves up, they might quietly say something vague to one or two people, but nobody starts a telathon on tv about cakking themselves other than oral roberts, in which case you know he had no intention of cakking himself.  



mistoferin -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 10:59:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
Well, there are some things I would joke about but never this.


I haven't joked about anything. The cumulative story this poster has told on her posts is IMPOSSIBLE, not improbable. I called bullshit to what is bullshit. As for her suicide threat, I didn't joke about it or encourage her...actually, I didn't address that aspect at all.



Stephann -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:01:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

I would suggest that sometimes the most helpful thing that a person can read is that bullshit drama is inappropriate and won't be catered to or tolerated and that not everyone is an idiot who is going to fall for such blatantly obvious stupidity and stroke your "center of attention" fetish.


Why do you feel empowered to be their psychologist?  What fix does it give you, to declare how stupid another person is?  Do you usually point at homeless people on the street and tell them they wouldn't be homeless if they stopped drinking and doing crack?  Why do it in front of us?

Obviously, there's some mental and emotional issues at work, far deeper seated than anything we can address here in this thread.  That's why I strongly suggested that the management simply remove the thread.  It does nobody any real good, and has nothing to do with the BDSM community.

Stephan





CrazyC -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:03:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956


And once you or I decide its a troll, then I guess the issue is do you (or I) rise to the bait?  Do we turn the page?  Do we post OT?   There is another tiresome thread on here where the "Goreans" are telling the non-Goreans to go away and leave their section of CM to those who follow their philosophy -- my answer to them is the same as my answer to Stephann and others:   This is a free system, and I can post where and when I want to.  If it upsets you, if it is uncaring (in your eyes), hell, if it is stupid, tough.  You may judge me (and God knows, enough of you do*) but I still have the right to post when and where I see fit.

Said another way:   I'd rather read threads of uncaring mocking and loopy replies than phony "Oh what about this poor poor girl!" and "I'm so much holier than THOU!" 

E.

___________________
*Not a whine; rest assured, I judge you too.


IF this was just a post to get attention, how is giving the troll negative reenforment helping the issue any? Some people like attention no matter what form it comes in.



CrazyC -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:06:29 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
Well, there are some things I would joke about but never this.


I haven't joked about anything. The cumulative story this poster has told on her posts is IMPOSSIBLE, not improbable. I called bullshit to what is bullshit. As for her suicide threat, I didn't joke about it or encourage her...actually, I didn't address that aspect at all.


Please take a step back.....no one ever said it was you. It is a general statement since those who did....know who they are.



CrazyC -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:11:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

agreed, but there is a vast difference in a one on one phonecall and coming to collarme and asking your closest 20,000 friends whether or not you should cakk yourself, first post out. plus it pays to read the profile and all kinda stuff. 

My experience is that if someone is going to cakk or otherwise do themselves up, they might quietly say something vague to one or two people, but nobody starts a telathon on tv about cakking themselves other than oral roberts, in which case you know he had no intention of cakking himself.  


There really isn't a diffrence. If she is just looking for some type of validation that things are ok, then that is the same as each phone call that i got where i just had to sit and listen. And i have seen the profile which does leave me to think things are fishy. Does that give me rights to mock her and make fun of it? No. It just means i put the person at arms length.



mistoferin -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:12:42 AM)

Stephann,
I posted my opinion to her of the situation in my first post. In my second post I called attention to the facts as she has presented them. I didn't embellish upon them or even go into great detail. I did so in order to forwarn others who may not want to invest a bunch of thought and time into something or someone that is obviously not being honest. Not all of us care to be manipulated into lengthy interactions with others who simply want attention or sympathy. If you would like to suck the ass of everyone who cries poor me, by all means feel free to do so. There are some of us however, who have no desire to be likewise engaged.



came4U -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:13:56 AM)

haha CrazyC, I was going to say that, but I scrolled down to get this posting box and you already did , lol thanx.

and if and when it comes down to it, I don't 'do' internet anger., not here to take my frustrations out on strangers. *I take it out on my friends LOLLL

save the finger pointing for lil 'ol ladies asking directions.




gooddogbenji -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:23:28 AM)

I'm the first one to admit:  My post was a joke, and a funny one at that.  I did not do initial research; I did not need to.

You're gonna off yourself?  Shit or get off the pot.  And if the responses on an online forum influence your decision, even if it is my direct response, I will feel no remorse.  If that's all it takes, you would have done it anyway.

The easiest way to see if someone is serious is to call their bluff.  They do it, their loss, and I may read it in the paper if they were all that important.

My life will go on.

Yours,


benji



Stephann -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:24:55 AM)

erin,

It would seem by your regular participation in this thread, that you have some motivation for putting...whomever in your place.  Why take your frustrations out on the girl in question, or others who you feel don't meet your standards of emotional health?

Stephan



mistoferin -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:38:59 AM)

Stephann,
I would have to wonder why it is so important to you to understand why I respond the way I do but, I will try my best to explain, at least in this instance. In my logic when I see a bird that looks like a duck and walks like a duck and quacks like a duck and flies like a duck and swims like a duck and has webbed feet and feathers that repel water like a duck....chances are really good that it is probably going to turn out to be....a....DUCK.....and the chances that it is probably going to turn out to be a porcupine are pretty slim.

I don't question your motivations for responding the way you do. I don't critique the manner you respond in. Please, feel free to interact on this board however it pleases you.....I will continue to interact here in a manner that pleases me.



came4U -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:49:58 AM)

she asked for advice...whether it is bullshit or not, who cares?

I don't even view the profiles of who posts, who replies bla bla. Research the whole story? no thanks.

if she is a fake..it would only effect someone she actually meets or implies to meet. Anyone can be a fake, and I would fake that I care that they are a fake.

k this joint a dud now lol.




gooddogbenji -> RE: help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (7/27/2007 11:53:02 AM)

Actually, it would also affect me in my response.  If I'm about to invest time into giving advice, I'm not gonna waste it on bullshit.  I'll have fun with it, then forget.

I'm not one for wasting time.  I prefer to spend it usefully being an asshole.

Yours,


benji



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