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RE: A good Dom - 7/28/2007 6:48:02 PM

ShyMistress

Posts: 173
Joined: 6/21/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Masternslave07

A Dom can never experience submission as a sub/slave would. I don't think a Dom will learn anything more than pain hurts. Which he probably knew already. I would say it is more important that a Dom understand the role he has chosen and work to be good at it. That seems to me to be a better use of time.

I would have to disagree as I not only Dominate, but submit...both on a daily basis. And though Dominant, I submit to My Sir with as much servitude and submission that anyone has ever shown when serving Myself. I have the heart of a kajira where He is concerned.

Though to be honest, I do not claim this as making Me any better in Domination, I can't really say that is has or hasn't. All it has done is give Me a little more insight on the thoughts and emotions My girl may have while serving Me.

< Message edited by ShyMistress -- 7/28/2007 6:49:21 PM >

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RE: A good Dom - 7/28/2007 8:44:14 PM

Lillith1

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Joined: 6/2/2006
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i agree with most of what has been said here. Dominants do not have to be slaves/submissives in Their path to Dominance in order to be good at it. As was stated previously, this is an Old Guard concept. What i would like to add to all the comments though is this: i very firmly believe that ALL good Dominants must test whatever toy/play method/etc that They intend to use on you on Themselves beforehand. This allows them to have some knowledge of what it feels like and how to safely use it on you. Well that's my two cents. Good luck on your journey.

~ puppet

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RE: A good Dom - 7/28/2007 11:37:36 PM

SimplyMichael

Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
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To be good at anything you have to the opposite. That is why I am currently having my ass reamed by a well hung man so that I will be "good and true" at fucking my woman in the ass. I also learned to crash airplanes and sink boats so I would be a better pilot and captain.

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RE: A good Dom - 7/28/2007 11:50:22 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
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I could never be submisive. It isnt in my makeup to be comfortable giving power to someone else. So, does that mean I could never be a good Dominant? I dont think so. Id be a lousy topping-from-the-bottom sub, which means I wouldnt get much from a sub experience even if I did decide to try and have one. And it certainly wouldnt give me any insight into how an actual slave that enjoys the role sees it. I could physically allow myself to be bound, or whipped... but it would mean nothing more to me tha knowing what the sensation felt like. I wouldnt understand anymore about what my slave got out of it, nor about the interest in giving that power to someone else. Before I use a toy on someone I do fel what it is like on my own skin, I would never subject one of my boys to a tool I didnt know the sensation of. However, I dont find that submissive of me, just responsible.

My 2 cent
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RE: A good Dom - 7/29/2007 12:03:28 AM

twistedkytten

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I have friends on either side of this discussion, and no I do not think it makes a difference one way or the other.

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RE: A good Dom - 7/29/2007 9:22:46 AM

daddysliloneds

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oh please! you've been talking to too many switches!

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Post #: 26

RE: A good Dom - 7/29/2007 12:42:16 PM

PrincessDonna

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A Good Domm may have experienced some type of pain in the past,but not always, as to many being a Domm is about control and does not suck up so much of my energy or time looking for ways to inflict pain,that just flows easily to an honest,true Domm.

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Post #: 27

RE: A good Dom - 7/30/2007 6:19:18 AM

Mystique567

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I too think it can go either way

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Post #: 28

RE: A good Dom - 7/30/2007 6:57:02 AM

puella

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The problem I see with this argument is one that goes much deeper than that which the original question probes.

If you are a dominant by nature or a submissive by nature, 'becoming' a Dom or sub for a period of time to test out toys and methods will not suddenly place you in a better space for learning. I do not think you need to 'become' something you are not to learn about it or understand it... the fact of the matter is if you are not a submissive by nature simply being flogged by some Dom is NOT going to recreate that experience for you as a submissive experiences it.

I am not a masochist. Yet when my owner uses tools on me I become effected. I can even receive great pleasure (much to my surprise) because what is happening is effecting that most organic and submissive of parts of me which is responding to the moment, rather than me getting a pleasurable response from the pain itself. There is more to the experience of, lets say, being flogged, than just the placement and impact of the flogger… it is not so simple.

I have every confidence that my owner is using implements on me which he has taken the time to learn about. I do not feel that simply having been flogged provides a practical education on how TO flog. I have been flogged... by people who did it well and people who, in my opinion, did not... having been flogged does not guarantee that I can reproduce the 'good' flogging with any more of a certainty than the bad.... I know my owner, who has not submitted to a flogging knows exactly what he is doing when he picks up his tools.. and will pull from me what ever experiences and responses he wants from me with them, not because he has submitted, but because he is a responsible, intelligent and diligent man who knows the potential dangers of his pleasure and has taken the time and effort to actually master himself, his craft and his slave.

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Post #: 29

RE: A good Dom - 7/30/2007 9:23:42 AM

atendersoul

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Have heard that a Dom/Domme that has felt the other end has a bit more compassion and understanding due to this....suppose this is also the reasoning for switches to a point but have never served One that was not more than being a Dom.

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RE: A good Dom - 7/30/2007 7:29:00 PM

Celeste43

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Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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The only thing he would learn about following someone else's orders is how very much he dislikes it. He wouldn't feel the same way I do because he isn't wired for it. He wouldn't enjoy being spanked so what would it gain him except to know for certain that he has no bottom/sub tendencies.

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Post #: 31