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Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experience... - 7/30/2007 2:54:02 PM   
BIllCT


Posts: 160
Joined: 9/14/2004
Status: offline 		How many have actually been in a BDSM or D/s Relationship in real life and understand that it is not all about the play, or sex, it is all about the actual relationship and making it last?.

How many realize the all that is included in a vanilla relationship also applies to a BDSM or D/s Relationship in full with the additional responsibilities of the kinks, needs,desires, wants, of said relationship?

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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 2:55:28 PM   
solia


Posts: 115
Joined: 8/1/2004
Status: offline 		  *raises hand to vote*

I learned a lot about relationships in general when I learned about BDSM (and all the variations of it).  There are many aspects that are beneficial to either vanilla or non-vanilla minded persons.  That said, I have noticed that alot of people in BDSM do seem to forget that there's more going on outside of play. And in my vanilla relationships I continually have to declare that no, it is not my desire to do your laundry.  There are stereotypes on both sides, extremes to both ends and I think that most of us settle down in the middle of it all somewhere.

solia

< Message edited by solia -- 7/30/2007 3:00:06 PM >

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 2:57:38 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		D'oh!
 
(joking...a good topic, actually; I wish more people 'got it').  You are spot on!
 
MsB

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This one, as well!

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 2:58:10 PM   
Elegant


Posts: 1024
Joined: 3/15/2005
Status: offline 		......votes 'yes' to all of the above..and makes sure there are no hanging chads

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Elegant
~Slave To Master Archer

http://www.FantasiesInLeather.com

(in reply to solia)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 2:58:49 PM   
DarkDaddyZ


Posts: 805
Joined: 4/7/2006
Status: offline 		Preach brother, preach!

Oh and to answer the poll, the answer would be Me!

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Vanilla Official Music Page http://www.myspace.com/djzulu

(in reply to MsBearlee)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:00:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT
How many have actually been in a BDSM or D/s Relationship in real life and understand that it is not all about the play, or sex, it is all about the actual relationship and making it last?.

Well I have been around awhile, and some of my relationships ARE all about the play or the sex.  And some of them are about a lasting relationship.
quote:


How many realize the all that is included in a vanilla relationship also applies to a BDSM or D/s Relationship in full with the additional responsibilities of the kinks, needs,desires, wants, of said relationship?

Bill you should really stick around awhile longer if you think that's going to be mindblowing to most of the people here.




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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:03:35 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		hum.....yes, I live a D/s life when I have a live in slave...go figure.  Yes I have play partners on occassion who also engage in aspects of BDSM with me

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D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:05:40 PM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Yes

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Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


(in reply to earthycouple)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:07:44 PM   
abytchgoddess4u


Posts: 268
Joined: 10/17/2004
Status: offline 		Me.
~raises hand~

And Holy Fuck is that ever a button pusher for me!


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Ask all from yourself." Rumi

"The world will know and understand me someday. But if that day does not arrive, it does not greatly matter. I shall have opened the way for other women."
George Sand

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:10:01 PM   
MagiksSlave


Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		((raises her hand)) me me me

ms

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.


-Rodney Atkins-



(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:10:42 PM   
krista


Posts: 109
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Yes to all of the things listed..
i had it all...i lost it all....i hope to have it again....

regards
krista
joy through service

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:12:26 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BIllCT

How many have actually been in a BDSM or D/s Relationship in real life and understand that it is not all about the play, or sex, it is all about the actual relationship and making it last?.

How many realize the all that is included in a vanilla relationship also applies to a BDSM or D/s Relationship in full with the additional responsibilities of the kinks, needs,desires, wants, of said relationship?



I have been in relationships that ARE all about play and sex. Kitten and I are very much a play/sex relationship only and not about making it last.  Our "actual relationship" is a strictly sexual one, and we are both very happy with it that way.

With Angel, its  all about the relationship enduring and very play oriented, but its completely not about the sex.

There is no one way, as its said all the time. For some people, it can be all about the sex and the play, but that isnt the end all be all of the possibilities of BDSM relationships.  It should depend on what the people involved are looking to make it regardless of the lifestyle it falls under.

DV


_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:12:47 PM   
MsBearlee


Posts: 1032
Joined: 2/15/2006
Status: offline 		Actually, rather than be flip here, I think I'll include part of a note that I JUST sent to someone:

Well, I'm with you on the real-time part!  Online is just so much...wanking!  LOL  Really, what IS the point? 

Anyway, I guess it's a moot point, in that you are so far away, but I don't have the idea that submissives are somehow degrading, or that enjoying them as human beings is, either.  Of course, all the wicked fun we do might LOOK like it is (or we might even pretend it is), but in the real world...we're all interested in being in a relationship where we are respected and cared for; are we not?

Do look out for yourself and keep in mind that it IS okay to be happy and liked, even loved, for who you are. 

There is another young man here who is really stiring the pot and ill-received for his age and enthuasism are seen as 'do me'.  In reality, what he wants is contact and experience and possibly relationship.  Of course, there ARE those who want to play more and relationship-less and we (the OP and myself) must be careful not to suggest 'relationship' makes things more true and worthy; just different.  As the boy said; "To each their own".
 
MsB

_____________________________

A must read for submissives! (click here)

This one, as well!

(in reply to BIllCT)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:14:30 PM   
spiral23


Posts: 1053
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		yep had relationships and play..but still know i got lots to learn...buts thats kinda cool!

(in reply to abytchgoddess4u)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:14:46 PM   
violetaelf


Posts: 74
Joined: 5/29/2006
Status: offline 		Happy to say - Me!-
And soon to be living with Sir.. ohh can't wait.. just hate the distance.

(in reply to krista)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 3:15:50 PM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, OP ...

There are many people that know these things ...

But there are just as many that it's just not that way for them, on or offline.

_____________________________

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to MsBearlee)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 4:48:21 PM   
cuffnspankme


Posts: 2812
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		Yes I have had one lifestyle relationship and am currently feeling out having another one. I know it is about more then sex and play and the more is really what I seek. Sure sex and play are nice, but its the guts of a D/s relationship that really gets me going.

Of course all the aspects of a vanilla relationship apply AND the aspects of having compatible kinks, which makes it doubly hard to find someone. I like a little vanilla with my kink, I think to realisticly have a working lifestyle relationship, whether its 24/7 or weekend or what have you, there has to be a little vanilla there. I have a kid and I am sure many others do and that just throws another wrench into the mix. But, IMO, a good relationship is worth a little work and compromise and rolling with the punches life throws at you.

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I do not know why it is, but the condition of slavery makes a woman very beautiful. It removes inhibitions to the manifestation of her femininity and her deepest needs.

(in reply to feastie)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 4:50:11 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have had 3 of them over the years. The first one lasted 8 years, the second one 3 years and my present one is 2.5 years. I hope this present one is my last one, he is a keeper.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to BIllCT)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 4:54:55 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Balance is a key in maintaining a long term relationship. My slave and I have been happily married for over two years and counting. But I guess some people are not looking for long term at this time in their life, so play or sex would suffice. 

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Boycott Whales!

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: Poll, How many have actually had D/s Or BDSM experi... - 7/30/2007 6:34:54 PM   
DaddysSweet1


Posts: 14
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, been married/collared to Master 5yrs now

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 20
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