RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs.

RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (Full Version)

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Aswad -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (7/31/2007 8:14:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WhiplashSmile Oh come on, it's not like they would be selling their soul to the devil or anything. Of course not. [sm=evil.gif] quote: Call me the devils advocate for the day. That's my job. Have you cleared this with the union? [:D]

IrishMist -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (7/31/2007 8:17:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross I dunno, just seems we got ourselves an influx of clueless newbies who happily leap into relationships with doms, clueless, idealistic- and then when it all crashes down to earth and reality, instead of saying "Wow I was stupid, shouldn't do that again" they say "Why do doms suck when us subs are so beautiful and wonderful?" I know, I know, nothing new, nothing different- clueless newbies are everywhere all the time. But felt like I should do something bold to hopefully help them out. Doms are people- you are an adult. Act like an adult who knows how to get involved with other adults using good sense. Getting into Ds relationships is NOT different from getting into vanilla relationships. Same issues need to be dealt with. If you get burned, take responsibility for what YOU did, face reality, and move on. /cheers very loudly

Aswad -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (7/31/2007 8:29:06 PM)
Edit: Post was redundant, so I nixed it.

feastie -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (7/31/2007 11:31:12 PM)
Using fast reply ... LA, I agree with you. However, the opposite is also true. Submissive people are human too and they also have their own idiosyncrasies and foibles as much as the next person. Inasmuch as submissives should not expect dominants to be perfect people, neither should dominants expect submissives to be perfect either.

Rockwell -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 12:06:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Using fast reply ... LA, I agree with you. However, the opposite is also true. Submissive people are human too and they also have their own idiosyncrasies and foibles as much as the next person. Inasmuch as submissives should not expect dominants to be perfect people, neither should dominants expect submissives to be perfect either. Thank you feastie. Surely Lucky Albatross would agree with you, but this fact is staring us in the face. Responsible adults. (Please don't kick the subs - unless they beg)

angelslave77 -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 1:31:13 AM)
quote: LA is right, submissives often come into this thinking us dominants are the answer to their own dysfunction and they need to grow the fuck up and become mature responsible adults and deal with whatever issues they have first. The more we demand that of people, the more healthy our dysfunctional little community will become. This right here is sooooooo true. I didnt come into this lifestyle so much expecting a dom to fix my problems but I was very needy , going through a black spot in my life and wonder if that in part is what drew me in. Now I have sorted my life out I am a much better person and far happier and my relationship with Master is better than it ever was (I am damn lucky he is understanding and patient ). But I would agree there is no point expecting another person, whether they be Dom vanilla whatever to fix you, You need to be strong within yourself or you are dooming yourself to failure before you begin

happypervert -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 4:11:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 Yup. But, as you pointed out, there's this myth running rampant about the teacher dom, the trainer, the mentor. No wonder some subs have these unrealistic expectations. And, oftentimes it's the doms that perpetuate this myth. Look at some of the dominant profiles. "Let me guide you", etc. Sorry, but you've got it backwards -- the myth is being perpetuated by the subs who say that's what they want, and the doms are merely practicing marketing by targeting that niche of fluffy headed subs in pursuit of a fantasy. This stuff is just an extension of male stereotypes perpetuated by Harlequin Romance novels that some chicks love, but guys know it is complete horseshit and won't read it. Doms would be far happier if subs said they just want to suck cock and fetch beers while the dom watches football; then the dom profiles would have a lot more truth in advertising and not much fantasy peddling. Instead, we're left with the bait and switch where they advertise the fantasy but it morphs to football and blowjobs . . . and then whining about dashed dreams on a message board. PT Barnum would be proud!

Level -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 4:16:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Using fast reply ... LA, I agree with you. However, the opposite is also true. Submissive people are human too and they also have their own idiosyncrasies and foibles as much as the next person. Inasmuch as submissives should not expect dominants to be perfect people, neither should dominants expect submissives to be perfect either. Well, that's just taking things too damn far!

Level -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 4:18:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: happypervert quote: ORIGINAL: bandit25 Yup. But, as you pointed out, there's this myth running rampant about the teacher dom, the trainer, the mentor. No wonder some subs have these unrealistic expectations. And, oftentimes it's the doms that perpetuate this myth. Look at some of the dominant profiles. "Let me guide you", etc. Sorry, but you've got it backwards -- the myth is being perpetuated by the subs who say that's what they want, and the doms are merely practicing marketing by targeting that niche of fluffy headed subs in pursuit of a fantasy. This stuff is just an extension of male stereotypes perpetuated by Harlequin Romance novels that some chicks love, but guys know it is complete horseshit and won't read it. Doms would be far happier if subs said they just want to suck cock and fetch beers while the dom watches football; then the dom profiles would have a lot more truth in advertising and not much fantasy peddling. Instead, we're left with the bait and switch where they advertise the fantasy but it morphs to football and blowjobs . . . and then whining about dashed dreams on a message board. PT Barnum would be proud! lol happy [:D] I'd say you and bandit are both right. Both things exist. "Blowjobs and beer"....... hell of a campaign slogan.

tawney1 -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 4:32:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tawney1 My view is that you, ( Dom or sub), have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take care of another. True of all relationships whether they be vanilla, kinky or some thing else. There maybe varying degrees of power exchange in a relationship but it still takes at least two to make one. tawney property of Odin quote: Now, what about a slave that has been released from her Master for whatever reason. What if she was not permitted to have a job, has no car, has no license, has no credit, does not have much in the way of family, and not much of anything else? Are you saying she needs to take care of all these needs first herself before she can enter into another relationship? -------------------- Good question Sir. Hopefully when negotiating the relationship at the beginning she made sure there was a provision in there in case it ended that would help her start out again on her own. But if not than she damn well better know how to get a job, manage money etc in order to survive. Another relationship is not likely to immediately drop out of the blue unless she is looking to be "rescued" from having to take care of things on her own and grabs the first Dom that shows interest. Definiately not a good reason to hook up with another. tawney property of Odin

ExSteelAgain -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 4:48:38 AM)
Yeah, well what about the way people just naturally defer to me and ask my opinion? I am a natural, charismatic leader who people want to be around. I am a natural Dominant man and I’m really smart, too. When I walk in a place, people look at me, stop moving and wait for me to tell them what to do. It is particularly embarrassing in large crowds. This happens around pretty women a lot. I went in Wal-mart the other day and the pretty old lady greeter smiled at me for no reason and I understood why. It is just me. I made her push the cart to me to show her my control. What can I say? She looked at me contentedly. It is just me. (Littlesarbonn, will you write me a profile?)

sambamanslilgirl -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 6:51:00 AM)
agreed in totem, LA must be that full moon phase again

simplyangelic1 -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 8:02:02 AM)
I couldn't agree more. To expect a Dominant to be perfect 100% of the time is unrealistic. Now granted there are "snakes" on both sides of the coin and there are those who's actions don't match their words. That being said, as one of the newbies that made some wrong choices, I personally used those bad experiences to learn about me and help redefine what I was looking for. There were a few times when those damn rose colored glasses kept trying to find a home and sometimes they did, cause I allowed it and sometimes they didn't. To sit and whine about those bad experiences is a waste of energy because we only have ourselves to blame if we ignore warning signs or rush into something that turns out to be everything we didn't want.

simplyangelic1 -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 8:10:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: tawney1 quote: Now, what about a slave that has been released from her Master for whatever reason. What if she was not permitted to have a job, has no car, has no license, has no credit, does not have much in the way of family, and not much of anything else? Are you saying she needs to take care of all these needs first herself before she can enter into another relationship? -------------------- tawney property of Odin YES!!!! A sub or slave whether male or female should be able to care for themselves before entering into a relationship. There is no guarentee that any relationship will last forever and when you don't know how to handle things yourself, you are lost. Even if a Dominant doesn't want a sub/slave to work, they should still know how to look for a job and keep one. Same goes for all aspects of living on your own. Just because you are sub or slave doesn't mean you should give up knowing how to handle life situtaions. Can you imagine all whining from all the released slaves out there if they didn't know how to pick up the pieces and move on.[sm=ofcourse.gif]

feastie -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 8:16:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rockwell quote: ORIGINAL: feastie Using fast reply ... LA, I agree with you. However, the opposite is also true. Submissive people are human too and they also have their own idiosyncrasies and foibles as much as the next person. Inasmuch as submissives should not expect dominants to be perfect people, neither should dominants expect submissives to be perfect either. Thank you feastie. Surely Lucky Albatross would agree with you, but this fact is staring us in the face. Responsible adults. (Please don't kick the subs - unless they beg) Yeah, right. You just go on believing that. Meanwhile, I'll continue to deal with the truth.

chiaThePet -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 8:34:16 AM)
Geeez, stay away from the forums for a day and i come back to find that it's all been a myth. Dominants aren't the divine, all encompassing glorious entities of absolute power and perfection i thought they were! Damn, now i'll have to dismantle that popsicle stick pedestal i've been erecting in Their honor. What a frigging disappointment. chia* (the pet)

sleazybutterfly -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 8:40:47 AM)
fast reply~ to Daddysprop247 I admit when I came to the boards I didn't quite understand Daddysprop. I felt like she always seemed so unhappy, so just accepting of her place that she couldn't see how wrong it was. I can now see after over a year of being here than I was the wrong one. I have always since that time read what she has written with interest, even if I didn't always understand it. I am sorry I judged you so harshly (in my head, not on here). What you and your Daddy have seems to work well for you both. I don't always agree with his methods, but I respect that it brings you both happiness. I do think you are happy, something I didn't think at first, but have come to see. You may not be happy in the same ways, but I can read how content you are and I admire that. I am not sure I could live in the same way, though it has appealed to me on occasion. If I am ever on the search again (which I better not be[;)]), it is something I might consider looking into more. I can say not having a father around left me wanting that guidance, that protection, that person to lean on and take care of things. I have had to come above that part of myself and learn to do things I honestly would rather not. While I am quite happy in my relationship, there are parts of yours that I do admire. I see love there, where most see you being used and abused. I can see love on both sides, where you both bring to each other what you need. I don't feel sorry for you as I once did. I am happy that you are living your life the way that you desire and you have found someone that will live it with you. You are very well spoken, very intelligent, and I am sure you make him proud every single day. It's not for me to understand everything, it's more for me to keep my mind open and realize there are millions of different types of happiness out there. I have mine, and see no call to take away from someone elses.

leatherette -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 9:04:22 AM)
I'd like to say I prefer the latter two.... Harlequin romance novels are a hard limit. I like football and..... the other... is yet higher on my list. <ducking> leatherette

dawntreader -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 9:08:14 AM)
Greetings LA, you have certainly recieved enough kudus on this thread that another probably doesn't matter but i will add it anyway. If this thread had been posted when i first came to CM, i would have approached my experiences with greater rationality instead of the "sub-frenzy" manner that i chose. i certainly hope that the newbies are reading the info in this thread and taking it to heart~ Excellent thread[sm=applause.gif]

leatherette -> RE: Doms are people, too. Wise up already subs. (8/1/2007 10:25:39 AM)
oops I forgot the beer [&o]

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