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RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 8:47:23 AM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

On what basis do you conclude that selflessness is the only outcome arising from self-awareness? 
 


I look at examples of people who are considered enlightened and I note they all bear the hallmarks of selflessness. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, MLK, they all were driven to care for others by their self-awareness.

Those who develop their self-awareness not only come to realize they are compassionate beings, but furthermore discover they are driven to be compassionate towards others. It becomes increasingly difficult to summon an attitude of hostility towards others.
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

That's a preconceived outcome that would invalidate any individuality.  Something that seems rather contrary to observation and experience


The three examples I provided arrived at similar places through their own unique paths. As I see it, individuality is a valid path to enlightenment and increased self-awareness.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 8:49:54 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
I look at examples of people who are considered enlightened and I note they all bear the hallmarks of selflessness. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, MLK, they all were driven to care for others by their self-awareness.

And I think if you looked and really examined, they all would have explained how important it is to remain aware of self, conscious of self, needful of self, and not selfless to the point of losing self.  Holding onto one's sense of self and selfishness is even more important when one chooses to be selfless.

As to Rover- I think psychotics and sociopaths have such a whacked self that we can't really apply any of the normal language or processes to them.

 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 8:54:34 AM   
Rover


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I look at examples of people who are considered enlightened and I note they all bear the hallmarks of selflessness. Gandhi, Mother Theresa, MLK, they all were driven to care for others by their self-awareness.


How do you know that's what inspired them?  This is your idea of "proof"?  Perhaps it was divine inspiration... they are all men and women of the cloth. Perhaps they did so out of a sense of desperation.  Perhaps they were simply chosen by a constituency.  Perhaps they even did so out of selfishness, to atone for some real or imagined transgression and/or to secure their place in heaven.  Seriously, you're applying your own preconceived motivation to people you do not know, have not spoken with, and have no idea what "enlightened" them.

quote:

 
Those who develop their self-awareness not only come to realize they are compassionate beings, but furthermore discover they are driven to be compassionate towards others. It becomes increasingly difficult to summon an attitude of hostility towards others.


That's what self-awareness may mean to you.  But you're just expressing another version of "the one true way".  Seriously, this is flawed to the extreme.

quote:

 
The three examples I provided arrived at similar places through their own unique paths. As I see it, individuality is a valid path to enlightenment and increased self-awareness.


You validate individuality so long as it arrives at your preconceived notion of the "one true" destination.  This has some of the characteristics commonly associated with cults.
 
John

< Message edited by Rover -- 8/3/2007 8:56:41 AM >

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Bobkgin)
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RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 8:57:45 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Errrmmm..... you might want to read Gandhi's autobiography... he was a lawyer and politician, not a cleric.

(in reply to Rover)
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RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:05:45 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

Having a healthy ego doesn't stop a dominant from making sure that everyone is ok. I find myself attracted only to men and women who have healthy egos, who know they are good at something and can prove it. Self-confidence is a key factor of attraction for many people. I know more than one dominant who prides themselves on how well they take care of the subs they are playing with. Having played with them, I can say that they have earned that right to be proud.

As for selflessness and selfishness... I really don't want to be playing with someone if it's a selfless act for them. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the submissive. I will endure things selflessly for Valyraen but if Valyraen or another dominant I'm playing with isn't enjoying the act, I'd much rather them not bother. Maybe that's selfish of me.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Alumbrado)
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RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:11:08 AM   
Rover


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Status: offline 		He was also, unquestionably, a man of God. 
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:12:23 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		Which is not the same as a man of the cloth... but if your ego won't allow you to admit the mistake, don't worry about it..

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:15:16 AM   
Bobkgin


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From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rover

quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Those who develop their self-awareness not only come to realize they are compassionate beings, but furthermore discover they are driven to be compassionate towards others. It becomes increasingly difficult to summon an attitude of hostility towards others.



That's what self-awareness may mean to you.  But you're just expressing another version of "the one true way".  Seriously, this is flawed to the extreme.



I see that my position wounds you John.

No disrespect intended.

None taken.

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:15:52 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Without ego, there would be death and loss and the human race would be nowhere.
 
I would never have been drawn to Darcy had he not the Ego he has.   I have an ego and it rocks.  Ego played and does play a huge part of our relationship.  You are viewing Ego in a negative light, when it is a positive representation of the self - it is understanding.  I don't think you essentially grasp the concept of 'ego' and by simply using 'Websters' as an example (which is a slightly second rate definition tool) is like using wiki to find your information.  It is 'I' - and without 'I' - the 'We' cannot exist.
 
Bdsm in itself is an acronym that contains selfishness and selfish acts.  The whole concept of concent is a selfish act.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:19:08 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I see that my position wounds you John.

No disrespect intended.

None taken.



And yet, for a person who does not seem to find ego agreeable, that is a classic sign of one.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:22:00 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin
I see that my position wounds you John.

No disrespect intended.

None taken.


And yet, for a person who does not seem to find ego agreeable, that is a classic sign of one.

Peace
the.dark.

Ditto.  That's a very arrogant and presumptuous statement to make.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:22:49 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

~Fast Reply~

Having a healthy ego doesn't stop a dominant from making sure that everyone is ok. I find myself attracted only to men and women who have healthy egos, who know they are good at something and can prove it. Self-confidence is a key factor of attraction for many people. I know more than one dominant who prides themselves on how well they take care of the subs they are playing with. Having played with them, I can say that they have earned that right to be proud.

As for selflessness and selfishness... I really don't want to be playing with someone if it's a selfless act for them. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the submissive. I will endure things selflessly for Valyraen but if Valyraen or another dominant I'm playing with isn't enjoying the act, I'd much rather them not bother. Maybe that's selfish of me.


I feel immense satisfaction whenever I've taken care of those who depend upon me. I am fulfilling my purpose, to love them and care for them as they need it.

They give me their love, their trust, and their obedience.

Being selfless does not mean an inability to receive. More an inability to take. Consent becomes even more essential (if possible) for the selfless than the selfish.


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:23:08 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		I go, you go, we all gots Eeeeego...

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:23:44 AM   
Rover


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Joined: 6/28/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

Which is not the same as a man of the cloth... but if your ego won't allow you to admit the mistake, don't worry about it..


No ego problem here!!  *LOL*  A poor choice of words on my part.  More correctly stated, they were all men and women of God.
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:25:46 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

Being selfless does not mean an inability to receive. More an inability to take. Consent becomes even more essential (if possible) for the selfless than the selfish.




That's the thing. If you aren't actively taking in pleasure in what you are doing to me, then as far I'm concerned, it's a waste of time. I want the dominants I play with to take pleasure in what I give to them.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:25:52 AM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline
quote:

No ego problem here!!  *LOL*  A poor choice of words on my part.  More correctly stated, they were all men and women of God. 
 



I'll drink to that ( and thanks for noticing the tongue firmly planted in buccal region )

< Message edited by Alumbrado -- 8/3/2007 9:26:22 AM >

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:26:06 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobkgin

I see that my position wounds you John.

No disrespect intended.

None taken.


I can be exceptionally dense at times, so you'll have to help me out here.  How have I been wounded?  And will it require medical attention?
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Bobkgin)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:26:48 AM   
Bobkgin


Posts: 1335
Joined: 7/28/2007
From: Kawarthas, Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Without ego, there would be death and loss and the human race would be nowhere.
 
I would never have been drawn to Darcy had he not the Ego he has.   I have an ego and it rocks.  Ego played and does play a huge part of our relationship.  You are viewing Ego in a negative light, when it is a positive representation of the self - it is understanding.  I don't think you essentially grasp the concept of 'ego' and by simply using 'Websters' as an example (which is a slightly second rate definition tool) is like using wiki to find your information.  It is 'I' - and without 'I' - the 'We' cannot exist.
 
Bdsm in itself is an acronym that contains selfishness and selfish acts.  The whole concept of concent is a selfish act.
 
Peace
the.dark.

 
Ah, but what happens when you learn the "I" is an illusion of our senses and that "We" are all that has ever been?
 
What becomes of one's personal ego when one realizes it isn't "one" and never was?
 
Enlightenment and self-awareness ask such questions.

(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:27:12 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Good humor is good humor... regardless of the region from which it originates. ;)
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Alumbrado)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: The role of Ego in bdsm (o.O) - 8/3/2007 9:29:33 AM   
Rover


Posts: 2634
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline 		Fast reply....
 
Does anyone else sense that this has been a serruptitious discussion of New Age religion all along? 
 
John

_____________________________

"Man's mind stretched to a new idea never goes back to its original dimensions."

Sri da Avabhas

(in reply to Rover)
Profile   Post #: 40
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