RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held?

RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (Full Version)

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CuriousLord -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 12:09:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati I like hand holding...its so intimate... Daddy likes.

earthycouple -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 12:12:26 PM)
When Rober and I parted ways I shared because I knew people appreciated our banter here; enough so I got other side emails about it. I knew if all of a sudden he was just gone and I didn't share there would be questions....asked questions, not just wondering silently. I chose to create the "no question" thread that the first line read: "Because it began here, it should end here" because I wanted those who really gave a damn to know that things had changed. I interspered how I felt about it because I try to be who I am when I write not what someone wants me to be. I can't change how I felt or what happened and I certainally can't make anyone understand the inner workings of me, lest they want to do so without judgement but I know what was real for me and I know that there were a few people on these forums that gave a damn about what was going on. For anyone who didn't give a damn, they passed over that thread just like I pass over threads that don't entice me to write. I don't mind hearing if you have an idea different than mine...as I stated I am frank here too. I tend to say things straight from my heart (sometimes my heart is angry and I call someone Holier than thou but that is what it is) Other times my heart is full of love or sadness and I share that too. I've never been a closed book about too much. I've always found that sharing what's inside of me, even with strangers, as some catharsis to it. (Isn't that why support groups exist?) So, people's perceptions of me are what they are, I can't change them; don't want to change them but certainally find them interesting, entertaining and yes, sometimes hurtful...whether the hurt is meant or not.

MsBearlee -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 12:20:42 PM)
twice! How lovely to see you here. I hope all is well with you and that you are just having so much fun, you cannot be here as much as you once were. In the same way we must consider who writes the OPs...we must also consider who writes the replies. As you said, only we can determine how we react to the stuff we read here. After all, we are really just pixels in the wind, huh? Hugs, Beverly

asubmissiveheart -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 12:28:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BlueCollar quote: ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart I am asking the question, "Do you really want to hear the truth or do you want a pat on the back, and approval for any and all of your actions?" Over the course of the 27 years of my existence on this Earth, I've found that 9 times out of 10, people simply want a pat on the back. Sad but true. I am older than you, but that has also been my experience. In other words, it does not appear to be PC to be honest with people, better to say what they want to hear. I would agree that around here people want the pat on the back.

NorthernGent -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 12:39:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart I would agree that around here people want the pat on the back. In order of preference: 1) Female flesh. 2) Money P.S. I'm not remotely interested in the truth or a pat on the back from anyone 'round here, or anywhere else on the planet for that matter. I have a soft spot for lies, however.

GhitaAmati -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 12:51:24 PM)
Wow..I never knew NothernGent and I had so many priorites in common

TemptingNviceSub -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 1:23:04 PM)
Expecting to have your hand held on collarme??..I have never expected such..nor have I ever received such. and frankly would not want it..If I am posting a thought or question or whatever all I need is some to be given some info for the clarity I seek..now I know it will not be found in all the responses, but sometimes wether snarky repsonse or serious well though out..a gem can be found, a new thought process, so IMO its all good...And frankly I have found myself to be pleasantly pleased that on the occasion someone does receive a well deserved hug or whatever that even some of the toughest,hardest of us on collarme have dished that out as well....Tempting

NorthernGent -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 1:35:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GhitaAmati Wow..I never knew NothernGent and I had so many priorites in common Two kindred spirits devoid of the inner sanctum of human flesh...........

submittous -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 1:37:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart quote: ORIGINAL: BlueCollar quote: ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart I am asking the question, "Do you really want to hear the truth or do you want a pat on the back, and approval for any and all of your actions?" Over the course of the 27 years of my existence on this Earth, I've found that 9 times out of 10, people simply want a pat on the back. Sad but true. I am older than you, but that has also been my experience. In other words, it does not appear to be PC to be honest with people, better to say what they want to hear. I would agree that around here people want the pat on the back. I'm a LOT older than both of you and I agree. Almost every time I am asked for advice it turns out what someone really wants is confirmation of their belief or action. The only glaring exception would be my partner and co-dom Iris, we often ask for advice from each other because we want to know what the other thinks... Bill

beargonewild -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 2:10:48 PM)
I'm always ready to hear the truth from someone though it is their truth through their eyes. If I believe it has some merit then I will take it under consideration. The only approval I seek is from myself. Most if not all of my actions I have no choice but to take responsibility for. Once I embark on a course of action, that is when my responsibility begins. I may ask for opinion if I'm not quite sure about my decision yet I know in the end I am the one who pays for that choice good or bad. When I don't want to hear another's opinion I will not ask in the first place. When I do post a question here, it is to seek answers that I am not able to find myself. Recieving different answers does help me to find the answer which is right for me and nobody else.

Mirysien -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 3:12:21 PM)
Here and elsewhere I appreciate genuine comments that may or may not coincide with my opinion or wish for the way things to be. It is also true that I do not always want to hear what is being stated/suggested/advised, but I generally will pay attention. And the more difficult it is for me to hear, the more I will attend to it - at least eventually. I do agree with earlier posters that it is often the case that people who 'ask' for opinions/advice are not really wanting open to listening to anything different than what they've already made up their minds about.

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 3:27:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: cuddleheart50 If I want sympathy, I wont come to a message board ...I will go to my family who support me not matter what. amen

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 3:32:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsBearlee Wow, some really great questions today...I'm not gonna get nuthin' done!!! Okay, I cannot speak for others, but when I post, I am looking for information most of the time...or sharing it. Occasionally, especially of late, I post stuff just to get ideas, opinions, another angle by which I can look at something. I view this place as a place to learn…and I have learned a LOT here; least of all how to better couch my replies! <grinz> One thing I’d like to point out, however, is the fact that sometimes all is not as it seems. I have a 33 year old son with some pretty severe …challenges. Were he computer literate and could type…he’d be here doing what he does in real life; looking to stir the pot. He is desperate for people to like him (and he is VERY likable, but shamed by his…differences), so what he does is try to make people laugh. And I’ll be damned at what he comes up with to make people laugh. He goes for shock-effect, and the nervous laughter that he gets in return, he considers success. It’s sad, really (lordy, suddenly I’m crying). Anyway, one of the things I try to remember here…is that some posters may not be as they seem; they can be both very, very young….or not thinking in the same way most of us do. I try to remember that, always. And I hate short, yellow bus jokes; bigotry is bigotry. Beverly ahhhhhhhh dont cry-and remember the really smart target program kids ride the short bus too! my son had to.

slaveluci -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 3:43:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart Thank you Knight's Kyra, ma'am. I have noticed many people ask for other people's opinions on here, but it seems to me they have already made up their minds and are only seeking validation. Forgive me as this is a veer off-topic but....I will ask the same question again that I've asked many times before here without any answer: "What is so horribly wrong about seeking validation?"[;)] "Seeking validation" is flung around like a filthy insult so many times and I certainly don't think (note: my personal opinion) it should be. I think we all seek to have our thoughts and opinions validated at times. Some things, I believe so strongly I don't care if no one else on earth agrees. Other times, I think we all could use a bit of validation, especially from those whose opinions, thoughts, and views we respect. "Validation" - It's not always such a terrible thing to seek. Ok...end of editorial[:)].........luci

kyraofMists -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 3:54:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci Forgive me as this is a veer off-topic but....I will ask the same question again that I've asked many times before here without any answer: "What is so horribly wrong about seeking validation?"[;)] "Seeking validation" is flung around like a filthy insult so many times and I certainly don't think (note: my personal opinion) it should be. I think we all seek to have our thoughts and opinions validated at times. Some things, I believe so strongly I don't care if no one else on earth agrees. Other times, I think we all could use a bit of validation, especially from those whose opinions, thoughts, and views we respect. "Validation" - It's not always such a terrible thing to seek. Ok...end of editorial[:)].........luci I don't think anything is wrong with wanting validation in our thoughts from time to time. However, if that is what you are seeking it is more straight forward to ask for validation than to ask for other people's opinions. It is rare to see someone post here asking for validation, mostly they ask for other people's opinions and then some feel flamed and personally attacked when the opinion is different than their own. In asking for other's to express their opinion, you should expect that there may be opinions that do not agree with your own. If you are not ready to handle that then I don't think it is wise to ask the question. And the pronouns are generic and not necessarily meant to refer to you, luci. Knight's Kyra

chey -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 4:00:19 PM)
I'm not sure I would come to the message board for advice because I have friends I can talk to but I guess not everyone does. If I did however I would want people's honest opinions even if they were not flattering. At least that way I could walk away with more points of view than my own. It would be easier for me then to look at it from many perspectives and try to come up with a more informed conclusion.

DarkWriter -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 4:09:45 PM)
I find the notion of seeking a shoulder to cry on in a place like this (a message board) ludicrous. I mean, if you just have to do it electronically, at least go that extra mile and get onto Yahoo IM so you can do it in real time! Of course, cuddleheart50 has the best idea. Family is, or at least should be, a soft place to land when we fall. OK, my snotty comment aside, I do not know anyone who cannot find something in their lives to be pitiful about, even me. That is simply the nature of life. The question is how do you deal with it? Do you blame others? Do you spend time blaming yourself? Or, do you shake your fist at the heavens and blame God for this or that going wrong in your life? While any of these may provide an emotional release, none of them are particularly useful in solving a problem. Of course, that requires a level of focus, discipline and personal responsibility, a combination of traits that most folks in our society do not have. Hey, isn't that what we're all about here, focus, discipline, personal responsibility? Just asking...

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 4:24:24 PM)
take my hand DG....i will show you the way

chey -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 4:30:42 PM)
"snarkiness" What a great word!

domiguy -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 4:37:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chey "snarkiness" What a great word! I learned it out here....CM is truly an education. I learned many valuable lessons. Don't sign over your truck would probably be number 1. Thanks earthy....Hmmmmm. I'm on double secret probation.

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