RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held?

RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (Full Version)

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chey -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 5:25:47 PM)
LOL...do I want to know the truck story?

DarkWriter -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 5:37:31 PM)
Domiguy, What can I say? Snarkiness rules! You are great the way you are!

LadyIce -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 5:44:59 PM)
Domiguy is funny, what would we do without you?

LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 6:03:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: asubmissiveheart I just read someone's profile and journal, and then answered a post here on this board. I am thinking maybe I was a bit harsh, but I have seen this same individual come here for sympathy many times. I am asking the question, "Do you really want to hear the truth or do you want a pat on the back, and approval for any and all of your actions?" As adults, we have the right to do anything we want, and make impetuous and foolish choices. At what point do we take responsibility for those choices, and listen to what others really think? Or do we even want to hear what others think? If we do not want to hear what people really want to tell us, why would we post on these boards? i think the truth is always better. if i have to spend lots of time trying to unweave someones deceptions it is taxing and makes one bitter when you do find out the truth. some people enjoy being dishonest.. even at the expense of others. always take things slow

slaveluci -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 6:05:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists I don't think anything is wrong with wanting validation in our thoughts from time to time. However, if that is what you are seeking it is more straight forward to ask for validation than to ask for other people's opinions Yeah. I see your point. quote: It is rare to see someone post here asking for validation, mostly they ask for other people's opinions and then some feel flamed and personally attacked when the opinion is different than their own. In asking for other's to express their opinion, you should expect that there may be opinions that do not agree with your own. If you are not ready to handle that then I don't think it is wise to ask the question Again, agreed. I guess that's where the issue comes in then. Asking for opinions when you truly want to be validated. It would make more sense to be specific about it. quote: And the pronouns are generic and not necessarily meant to refer to you, luci. I know[:)]. Thanks for pointing out the distinction and for saying that needing validation from time to time isn't all bad. I think we all need it occasionally - whether we can easily admit that or not. Thanks Kyra...........luci

Masque66 -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 6:53:45 PM)
Lies serve no purpose, so I always want the truth. But just as there are people who are only seeking validation of their opinions, there are plenty who claim to be 'brutally honest' but really are just being cruel for the fun of it. If your criticism contains nothing constructive then it's unlikely you actually care about what you're commenting on.

SoftKajira -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/5/2007 7:36:34 PM)
well i usually just peruse these boards and don't post much, but yeah.. MOST.. not all post I see only want opinions that mirror their own. >>>> The Silent Observer[:D]

Twicehappy2x -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 3:40:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MsBearlee twice! How lovely to see you here. I hope all is well with you and that you are just having so much fun, you cannot be here as much as you once were. Hello yourself, grins. How is your summer going? The RA got me fairly bad, plus putting in time in my garden and it is riding season,lol, so i've been pretty buy. But the roses are beautiful.

StellaByStarlite -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 6:52:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Masque66 Lies serve no purpose, so I always want the truth. But just as there are people who are only seeking validation of their opinions, there are plenty who claim to be 'brutally honest' but really are just being cruel for the fun of it. If your criticism contains nothing constructive then it's unlikely you actually care about what you're commenting on. Amen to that. It's really hard to tell when a person is genuinely wanting to help, or feeding their egos by playing armchair Relationship Counselor. One thing I noticed about CM is the constant predictable drama. I mean, the debates all end up the same to me, even if they start out interesting. And there's always the old " well if you DON'T want the Harsh Truth, then you shouldn't have posted". Which is true... but some posters act like they have no control over their compulsive advice-giving. I've thrown my two cents in on a few relationship threads before, but I don't make a habit out of it. People need to figure things out on their own or with their partners. This is generally a stance I take offline as well.

sophia37 -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 7:43:16 AM)
I think the reason I never actually start a thread on this site, (besides the fact I dont have any groundbreaking topics to add), is I'm not really sure Im here to, "hear the truth"....about myself. For personal issues like Cuddleheart50, I go straight to friends and family. But, this is not to say I dont come here for the overall truth. This site gives me a fulls day worth of truth every time I pop in. It cant really give me truth about myself, since Im the only one here that reallys knows me. lol I do though like reading what people have to say about their own experieinces, which is all I can offer as well.

velvetears -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 9:09:08 AM)
i think most people probably want to hear the truth, in fact i would venture to say that they already know the truth. What i don't get is how the truth is sometimes delivered. You can respond with tact, diplomacy, and sympathy or you can throw all those out the window and care not how your words of truth, in the way they were delivered, affected the person posting. All snarkiness and meaness does is put the other person on the defensive, it accomplishes nothing.

LaTigresse -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 10:13:42 AM)
My honest opinion. Most people only want to hear sympathetic platitudes. On some level I think they already know the truth they just don't want to face it so they toss their dirty linen out for everyone to see, hoping that someone will tell them it really isn't as dirty as they already know it is. I have said many times that, when something annoys me, I know I need to take a closer look at it. Why, because it is usually something I need to deal with. Something I have been avoiding. The annoyance is my subconcious telling me to pay attention, I have work to do.......work on ME. Usually something rather unpleasant, something I don't want to own and take responsibility for. It would be great if I could just sit back, pretend that it is the person that annoyed me's fault for being annoying then I can ignore what I need to be doing within myself. But, what good does that do me??? Advice or words that rankle us and hit near a nerve, tend to do that. Piss us off, make us defensive, make us come out all huffy and self rightous, and usually we end up making a royal ass of ourselves. Only we are sooooooo self rightously upset at all the big meanies that gave it to us straight, we are the only ones that fail to see how bloody, awful, stupid we look. I see that alot on here and it is rather sad. People struggling with their issues, most people can see the problem immediately, especially if it is someone with a relatively long posting history, yet they just refuse to "GET IT". Instead they berate everyone that didn't double layer sugar coat everything and tell them how okay they really are and blah blah blah, ick, puke. Personally I believe in dealing with my shit under the radar. It is just my way. I think I know me and my stuff better than anyone else. I have always kept my stuff close and inside, so to deal with things in this manner makes sense. I do get a fair amount of people asking me for advice or telling me their problems. They do it because they know I won't sugar coat it. I won't be needlessly cruel but I will get my point across in whatever way is going to work best for the person in front of me. And most of all, I am honest and will not run around telling others about their shit. I kinda think that is important. But as for what comes out on here. Well, we are all supposed to be adults and we all choose to be on this site. If someone takes the time to do any reading on the threads prior to putting their shit out here for our consumption yet want to choose the feedback they get......they are fools and will get what they get, for it. We all talk about taking responsibility for our stuff, generally that is interpreted as the stuff we put out, what we write, the attitudes we send out. Well I also feel that there is a flipside to taking responsibility and that is how we process everyone else's stuff. We choose to take offense or not. Neither side of that equasion is without responsibility. To say otherwise is immature and ignorant.

lonlyrossInNeed -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 2:42:26 PM)
i want and would like to always hear the truth ross.g

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 2:55:54 PM)
ok....i have decided i want you to hold my hand, as you tell me the truth.......for today anyhow

brightspot -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 3:22:11 PM)
I come to the boards for the interaction and discussion. It doesn't even enter my mind to come here to CM to talk about and seek support for my present personal issues, I have close friends and family to support me in those areas. In fact it sometimes it really boggles my mind when someone comes here and pours their heart out about very personal issues, especially when they have a Domme/Dom to communicate with. Another thing that causes me to pause and go "huh?[8\|]" is when people ask questions that can easily and more appropriately answered elsewhere, but they're either too dense or to lazy to do a quick search on the net. It's like a question comes to mind and they run right here to CM to ask them, so hopefully others might have a quick answer or be willing to do their "work" investagating, for them, sheesh[>:]. Missy.

LaTigresse -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 3:24:47 PM)
I want to know how the snake got in my trash can!!! Also, how long has it been there? (yes he/she is VERY much alive and not at all happy)

LaTigresse -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/6/2007 3:29:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: domiguy quote: ORIGINAL: chey "snarkiness" What a great word! I learned it out here....CM is truly an education. I learned many valuable lessons. Don't sign over your truck would probably be number 1. Thanks earthy....Hmmmmm. I'm on double secret probation. Heyyyyyyy yeah! I was wondering how that story played out. I lost it.

asubmissiveheart -> RE: Do people want to hear the truth or get their hands held? (8/8/2007 3:12:37 PM)
Great post LaTigresse, if you come here and tell us what are clearly issues, don't be surprised if we inform you that you have issues. I have learned you need a thick skin to post here, but that is common with most message boards. I prefer reading a variety of opinions, and often even if I don't agree with someone else's opinion, I am given food for thought. Some are here to hear the truth, others are here to have their hands held.

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