RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (Full Version)

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smoothcoco -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 9:35:45 AM)

hmmm, I know a number of people in the lifestyle up in German, Netherlands, UK, AND Sweden.   You see, I am in the adult business.  I will ask around see if anyone knows you, on paper you sound like a joke, but this should be fun. 

Thanks for the laugh.

 
 
 
 
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsSophie

I think this may be a time in your life when you need to sit down and redefine your needs and wants. Make a list, for yourself, of what you are looking for and try to determine if anyone could possibly match those wants. Have you taken into consideration that this person has needs and wants of their own? You may not be able to find all that you want in one person, so define which is the most important!

quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco
I appreciate all the comments, positive and negative.  I think some of you clearly either misinterpreted what I said or just made simple assumptions.  I have been a sub for 16 years, so if you got the impression that I am a newbie then I am sorry, but I am not.  I am WELL AWARE of what it means to be a sub, and I dont mean to sound arrogant at all but there really isn't anyone who can tell me about what it means to live the lifestyle. 


Fair enough! I won't tell You what it means to live Your lifestyle, but kindly don't tell Me that Mine is not for real. You certainly dish it out, but you don't seem to be willing to read, and really take in, what people respond with. And, frankly, you do sound increadibly arrogant - in My humble point of view, of course.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco
I am here to serve, my feelings and satisfaction is irrelavent, but there are a number of FAKE FEM DOMS who are trying to hijack this culture and that is the truth. 


Well, that's a bloody stupid thing to say! Obviously your own feelings are very relevant to You, just as they should be. But, along the same lines, please accept that other people have different views on things.

If you're here to serve, and your own feelings and satisfaction is irrelevant, why have you got such a bee in your bonnet about what other people want in terms of service? If they don't fit your mold, then just move on to the next one and stop whining about it!


quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco
Some of you assumed that I haven't been getting the responses I expect because of how I phrased my profile.  On the contrary, I get a fair bit of responses, my question IS people if people are haven't the same experiences in their city as I am in mine... where their are clearly alot more subs than doms.


Oh, yes! I have heard people from almost every other corner of the world whine about the same thing. Problem is, it still doesn't change the fact that there are 50 preditory male subs on every to every dominant female.

I have had the same ad here for over a year now. In this ad I am very explicit about what I'm looking for. Do you know how many responses I have had? Thousands... Do you know how many of those actually seem to have read the ad and profile, and respond to what it is I search? Less than ten...
It's all "I want to lick your feet and then you may sit on my face and force me to lick you out for as long as I want"

quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco
Lastly, the comments about me wanting sexual domination were.... well lets just say they didn't make much sense.  The lifestyle IS ABOUT SEXUAL DOMINATION!!!!  Now, how one(a Dom) performs such sexual domination will vary and is strickly up to her(that could entail just spankings, humiliation, or whatever), but FAKE FEM DOMS are the ones who have tried to redefine the culture and make it about someone merely doing your household chores, or paying her bills, or trying to get a slave/sub to boost her own ego and justify her existance in the world. 


This, of course, should read "MY lifestyle IS ABOUT SEXUAL DOMINATION!!!!", not THE lifestyle.

And once again you are the one hi-jacking, and redefining. This isn't all about sexual domination. That is just one aspect of it all. All forms of domination may give you a "kick" sexually, but it's not all about face-sitting and strap-on play... Some people actually do get a kick out of paying their dommes bills, ironing and laundry. Are you claiming these people are fake too?

Frankly, your post smells of "I want all the experience, toys, looks, services and charisma of a fetish-model/pro-domme but I don't want to pay for it".






LaTigresse -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 9:37:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Most male submissives are complete fucking idiots.  Please note I said MOST implying quite clearly to those who can read that that means there ARE exceptions.  Socially competent male submissives who enjoy actually improving the lot and life of a Domme are few and far between, most are just looking for a fetish delivery device, not a full fledged woman who is also a Domme.




I agree. Too many bottoms, not enough top servicers.


Yes, and unfortunately it is not only limited to the males. In my experience, there are many sub/slave females in this category also.



SimplyMichael -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 9:52:57 AM)

Coco,

Any chance you arrived here on a yellow bus shorter than the bus the other kiddies ride?



littlesarbonn -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 9:57:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly


quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Most male submissives are complete fucking idiots.  Please note I said MOST implying quite clearly to those who can read that that means there ARE exceptions.  Socially competent male submissives who enjoy actually improving the lot and life of a Domme are few and far between, most are just looking for a fetish delivery device, not a full fledged woman who is also a Domme.




I agree. Too many bottoms, not enough top servicers.


Yes, and unfortunately it is not only limited to the males. In my experience, there are many sub/slave females in this category also.



There's a similar reverse problem going on as well. There are a lot of women who don't actually know what they're looking for but imagine they'd love having a service submissive. I've stopped looking as a service submissive because I got tired of being contacted by women who were actually looking for a free maid service with nothing else attached. And for those that say that "well, that's what a service submissive is supposed to be", that's why I stopped looking. I don't think people really understand service submissives but because they're dominant, they're convinced they know and then get upset at legitimate service submissives for "not measuring up". I blame two culprits (and yes, this will probably piss some people off): First is what I call the lazy domme syndrome, women who want free work done and then figure that they can do this by acting dominant, even though they really have little to no actual experience with service submissives. Second, I blame the non-service submissives for contributing to the problem by pretending to be service submissives. This creates a fantasy element behind the service submissive so women can then say "but I've seen it before, and I know there are lots of guys who want to be just that...I'm just having trouble finding one myself." Usually, these submissives are subs who are trying hard as hell to do or say anything to get some play time, and when they get into a situation where their needs were never met (because they lied their way to get in), they bolt, leaving the dominant wondering why it didn't work out, but jading her into believing that the next one will be better.



CuriousLord -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 9:59:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco

Well that is the situation in my area.  I am in south florida, and there are about 50 subs for each Fem Dom(not an exaggeration).  Most of the Fem Doms down here are sort of fake, few of them are real.  Anyone else experiencing the same thing where you live???


From what I've observed in my time on CollarMe.com, male subs vastly excede Dommes (a major contributing factor to the prevalence of pro Dommes).  I am unaware of any means by which you may fix this situation outside of trying, despite poor odds, and trying well (being more appealing).  Pro Dommes are also an option (though I would recommend considering them well before doing this, as many are claimed to be fruedulant).



GhitaAmati -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 10:27:45 AM)

I lived in south florida for a while..actually its where I first encountered the lifestyle..not sure how well I can comment on it, since I tended to associate with the Male Dom groups instead of the Fem Dom ones, but I have noticed that I often see more male subs than Fem Dom just about anywhere I go in florida. Why that is I dont know, just seems to happen.

Now, about this whole "the lifestyle is about sex" issue. Most of those uncollared male subs I see clammoring for a Dommes attention seem to all have this opinion about the lifestyle.

Sir and I had a discussion similar to this last night. I happen to be a submissive...what a Dom does or doesnt do to me doesnt change that, its just who I am. I dont have to get beat on or fucked to feel like a submissive to my husband. Do I enjoy it when he does that? Hell yea...but it isnt what its all about (TO ME)...if thats what its all about to you, then fine...but please learn to rephrase your comments to not be "all inclusive" some of us really dont like getting shoved into your narrow minded veiw of the world.



Jasmyn -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 10:43:00 AM)

quote:

Lastly, the comments about me wanting sexual domination were.... well lets just say they didn't make much sense.  The lifestyle IS ABOUT SEXUAL DOMINATION!!!! 


Anyone who says it isn't is shitting themselves.  [:D] 

It's undeniably a part

Ps ... when was the last time you were pretty in pink?




umisprite -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 10:48:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco
I am here to serve, my feelings and satisfaction is irrelavent, but there are a number of FAKE FEM DOMS who are trying to hijack this culture and that is the truth. 


I can not comment on the lack of 'true' FemDoms. In reading through this entire thread, however, I keep going back to the above statement. What do you mean your feelings and satisfaction are irrelavant? If that were true you wouldn't be here at all because none of this would matter. Don't you think that mutual satisfaction is an important part of this lifestyle? Aren't you searching for an appropriate FemDom for mutual satisfaction?
 
I'm submissive and I feel great satisfaction from giving my *dominant partner* whatever he needs, service or sex...whether it's doing his laundry, vacuuming his home, clipping his toenails or being his ever-ready sex toy. When he's happy, I'm happy. And when I'm happy, he's happy. We wouldn't be in the relationship if there was not mutual saisfaction. Are there things I wish I didn't have to do? Of course. But I do them for him.
 
Individual feelings and satisfaction are sooo relevant.



*when I have one*



detrimentalist -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 11:03:12 AM)

As a I sub I find that the problem is that there are many Doms but not many serious or 'good' ones. I find that all too many of the people who contact me just have control issues and they've found Dom-thing fits in quite nicely with their mindset.

Obviously that doesn't apply to everyone - I shouldn't need to clarify that but from reading the rest of the thread I can see that misunderstandings are all too easy!



sublizzie -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 11:06:35 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse



ORIGINAL: MistressDolly


I agree. Too many bottoms, not enough top servicers.


Yes, and unfortunately it is not only limited to the males. In my experience, there are many sub/slave females in this category also.



There are many Dominants who don't know how to handle a good service-submissive either. (Not saying that about you, LaTigresse.) They either think all we want is to do the work with nothing else but having done the work as our reward or they think service is all about sexual service. I love giving service but part of that, for me, is being told that what I did was appreciated. A standing ovation at a sit-down multi-course dinner I manage to prepare and serve for 70 people in a campground with no running water and no electricity does a lot toward getting me to do it again.

Just my thoughts......



BitaTruble -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 11:10:49 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: smoothcoco

The lifestyle IS ABOUT SEXUAL DOMINATION!!!! 


I'd like to give you the opportunity to ammend your statement and make it all about 'you' rather than all about 'The" lifestyle. I have zero issues with your lifestyle being all about sexual domination and I'd really rather be able to agree to disagree with you on the subject. I hope you take me up on the offer.

Celeste



MistressDolly -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 12:13:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: umisprite

I'm submissive and I feel great satisfaction from giving my *dominant partner* whatever he needs, service or sex

...whether it's doing his laundry, vacuuming his home, clipping his toenails or being his ever-ready sex toy. When he's happy, I'm happy. And when I'm happy, he's happy. We wouldn't be in the relationship if there was not mutual saisfaction.

Are there things I wish I didn't have to do? Of course. But I do them for him.


This, imo, epiitomizes the ideal submissive mind-set!



instynctive -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 1:13:33 PM)

There's plenty of "dom/mes" around here.  Every idiot with a flogger and a tribal armband thinks they're a fucking dom/me.

[sm=banana.gif]



BossyShoeBitch -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 1:19:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Coco,

Any chance you arrived here on a yellow bus shorter than the bus the other kiddies ride?

[sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]



SimplyMichael -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 1:38:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: instynctive

There's plenty of "dom/mes" around here.  Every idiot with a flogger and a tribal armband thinks they're a fucking dom/me.

[sm=banana.gif]



I get so sick of idiots with the same tatoo as a million other idiots telling me how "individual" they are because they got a frigging tatoo!  Thanks for this!



smoothcoco -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 2:54:25 PM)

And King of that village of IDIOTS is definitely the "Simpleton" name Michael!







quote:

ORIGINAL: instynctive

There's plenty of "dom/mes" around here.  Every idiot with a flogger and a tribal armband thinks they're a fucking dom/me.

[sm=banana.gif]




smoothcoco -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 3:01:24 PM)

And ofcourse when a sub is happy his fem dom is happy and vice a versa.  Duh.... thanks for comming out to the idiot.  If I didn't ENJOY being a sub I wouldn't be.  Sounds to me many of the people on here are about simple role play then anything else... WHICH IS FINE you do your thing, BUT dont question me about the lifestyle. 

I have served with some of the best in the culture, for me its not mere role play, its a lifestyle.



kc692 -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 3:31:11 PM)

For lots of us, it is not about role play, it is a lifestyle.  Just because we live ours differently does not make us fake, it makes us DIFFERENT.



smoothcoco -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 9:50:58 PM)

Let me get this straight, I address a question on this post that had NOTHING to do with what I want from a dom, but when people responded to this post they(including you kc692) went on to my profile, read my profile and address what I put in my profile, NOT the question I posed on this post.

You and a small number of others attacked ME about how I live my life being a sub, but then you get defensive when I drop some science on you with respect to being a fake???  Sounds to me like sour grapes. 



quote:

ORIGINAL: kc692

For lots of us, it is not about role play, it is a lifestyle.  Just because we live ours differently does not make us fake, it makes us DIFFERENT.



Sinergy -> RE: To many Subs, not enough Doms (8/7/2007 11:05:45 PM)

 
The problem I do not have is finding women who would like to submit to me.  According to one
of my jobs I am the most frequently hit on instructor they have ever had.

It is convincing Mr. Tiny that I need to be able to have an intelligent conversation with her before I
want to spank her and ravage her.

Sinergy

p.s.  I am not sure what the answer is for submissives, but I would ask them "what qualities would you like to see in a submissive if you were a Dominant?"   Then be that submissive.






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