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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 6:10:55 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		while i do not fallow the sheep context. I do know from experince what works and what does not.. There are people who know more then i do.. the people i respect and trust all have paid their dues long before the net..
proof is in what you do not what you say.. I deal with this all the time in IT.  i always have fun when  young pup dumps data or crashes a massive network. the problem is when it cost us.. again someone at twenty would not have the knowledge other then text book knowledge to deal with bipoloar disorders. mpds tons of other issuses not to mention. health problems .fiscal problems.. with older subs.. infact how to treat and experinced sub... their mental state would be different.....

< Message edited by LATEXBABY64 -- 8/6/2007 6:13:37 PM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 6:19:09 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

while i do not fallow the sheep context. I do know from experince what works and what does not.. There are people who know more then i do.. the people i respect and trust all have paid their dues long before the net..
proof is in what you do not what you say.. I deal with this all the time in IT.  i always have fun when  young pup dumps data or crashes a massive network. the problem is when it cost us.. again someone at twenty would not have the knowledge other then text book knowledge to deal with bipoloar disorders. mpds tons of other issuses not to mention. health problems .fiscal problems.. with older subs.. infact how to treat and experinced sub... their mental state would be different.....


Agreed. But treating bipolar disorders is not part of the d/s lifestyle.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 6:57:21 PM   
MadRabbit


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

 Why do people have to proclaim - 'I have been in the 'lifestyle' more years than you' shit that seems prevalent?

 
Its the equivalent of a dick measuring contest, but one both genders can participate in.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark
Why do people believe that more years = more knowledge?


Compensation for erectile dysfunction,

quote:
Why do the white knights out there think we poor s-types need saving?

 
It makes the masturbation better after they log off
 
quote:


Why do some people think that new people need hand holding and cannot ask their own damn questions?

 
I would say that depends on the gentials and breast size of the new person asking the questions.
 
quote:
This is a bdsm site that is based on individual beliefs/fetishes blah - no?  So why do people still have a sheep mentality?

 
The natural duality of mankind. We all want to be different, but we want to be different with people who are different like us. 
 


_____________________________

Advice for New Dominants
The Unpolitically Correct Lifestyle Definitions

Obama is NOT the Messiah! He's just a VERY NAUGHTY BOY

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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 7:06:48 PM   
dawntreader


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quote:

ORIGINAL: heartfeltsub

Phin,

You will love it, i knew Geoff when i lived in SC and he is GREAT. Very good speaker, great player, makes his demos wonderful to watch.

heartfelt


i am just up the road in Charlotte and have been trying to get to one of Geoffs presentations for awhile. Perhaps this fall

_____________________________

It is choice - not chance - that determines our destiny~
Jean Nidetch

There is a war going on for your mind...if you are thinking, you are winning~
Flobots

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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 9:45:28 PM   
sublizzie


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Joined: 5/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

It really is about life experince. it is why you do not see a lot of ceos at 20 years old.. there is a set order to everything. a natural guide line so to speak.  or for that matter 20 a year old president lol


I would say it's about life experience of those who are willing to learn from both their own mistakes and the mistakes of others AND having a caring heart. I happen to know 2 Dommes in their 20's who would probably qualify more than some of the 40- & 50-something "Dominants" I have met here on Collar Me. The 20-somethings have more years than they legally should have in the lifestyle. Some of the 40- & 50-somethings have much less than that and have no clue about people. Experience is nice and very useful but having the wisdom to learn from that experience is more helpful. Knowing enough to learn from the wisdom of other people's mistakes is even better. A 20-something Dominant can have that ability and pick up necessary people skills that way if they are willing.

Just my thoughts.....

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 9:56:28 PM   
Darkhaven80


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Why do people believe that more years = more knowledge?



The reasoning there seems pretty logical to me.


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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 9:58:18 PM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkhaven80

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Why do people believe that more years = more knowledge?



The reasoning there seems pretty logical to me.




The problem is that time spent in the lifestyle does not mean a person spent all that time actively learning. A person can paint for 20 years and still be a crappy painter if they never bothered to learn anything.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:00:02 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		i am sticking to my guns on this one just know from experince...and if you do the percentages a lot of  older lifestyle people will tell you the same.. you might know the motions or the text book knowledge for something in a ds long term relationship with out that real life experince it just is not going to work. that hs been proven

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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:03:48 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

i am sticking to my guns on this one just know from experince...and if you do the percentages a lot of  older lifestyle people will tell you the same.. you might know the motions or the text book knowledge for something in a ds long term relationship with out that real life experince it just is not going to work. that hs been proven


Well, you are the only one I hear this from and I'm relatively active in a local group comprised of people twice our age and older. You are assuming that 20-somethings only have textbook knowledge. Valyraen and I live a very real d/s relationship and we are in our 20s. He is a wonderful dominant for me and we are both learning as we go.

You can only learn to be a dominant by actually being one. You don't magically get the knowledge when you hit 30 or 40. The only way you learn how to own a slave and how to care for one is to do it. So you start doing it when you are ready to start learning. Maybe you weren't ready to start learning when you were 20 but some people are.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:07:06 PM   
sublizzie


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Joined: 5/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Well, you are the only one I hear this from and I'm relatively active in a local group comprised of people twice our age and older. You are assuming that 20-somethings only have textbook knowledge. Valyraen and I live a very real d/s relationship and we are in our 20s. He is a wonderful dominant for me and we are both learning as we go.

You can only learn to be a dominant by actually being one. You don't magically get the knowledge when you hit 30 or 40. The only way you learn how to own a slave and how to care for one is to do it. So you start doing it when you are ready to start learning. Maybe you weren't ready to start learning when you were 20 but some people are.


I would agree with you, Aqua. The 20-somethings I know are living it and have been for a while, longer than some 50-somethings I know. So, who has more experience? And if they are capable of reading other people's stories and learning from them, then they've absorbed that knowledge as well so they don't have to make the same mistakes. Some people aren't capable of doing that.

Just my thoughts......

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:08:14 PM   
sublizzie


Posts: 1252
Joined: 5/26/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

i am sticking to my guns on this one just know from experince...and if you do the percentages a lot of  older lifestyle people will tell you the same.. you might know the motions or the text book knowledge for something in a ds long term relationship with out that real life experince it just is not going to work. that hs been proven


I have yet to see that proof, but I do respect your right to be wrong.

Just my thoughts.......

_____________________________

"cooking is my kink"

Collared June 19, 2008
(uncollared 12/21/09 with his death. RIP my Santa)

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:09:00 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		well we can put this to a poll question just for fun

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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:09:52 PM   
Darkhaven80


Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darkhaven80

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Why do people believe that more years = more knowledge?



The reasoning there seems pretty logical to me.




The problem is that time spent in the lifestyle does not mean a person spent all that time actively learning. A person can paint for 20 years and still be a crappy painter if they never bothered to learn anything.


Yes, that's also common sense. I'm not including players and non-active lifestylers since that's not what he wrote. I'm just going with his simply stated sentence. If a person is in the lifestyle for a longer period of time (actually in there, not pretending to be), then they will have acquired more knowledge. They would have seen more, spoken to more people in the lifestyle, and likely have tried more personally. There is no given rule with it but clearly I can see why people would assume it. A person in one profession or hobby would have gained more knowledge than a newbie in it.

Don't take me wrong - if you're a dominant that's a natural then you don't need the years to make you a great dominant, because you already are one. I know there's plenty who have been out there for awhile and most subs here wouldn't give them the time of day long.

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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:09:54 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

I can think of many reasons why there isn't a 20 year old president and experience doesn't even enter the top 100.
Besides, a 20 year old could have far more experience of BDSM than a 50 year old.
Age does not facilitate experience.  And experience doesn't aid judgement.
 
Peace
the.dark.

 
Let's hope you don't vote.

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RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:13:01 PM   
AquaticSub


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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sublizzie

And if they are capable of reading other people's stories and learning from them, then they've absorbed that knowledge as well so they don't have to make the same mistakes.


That's actually one of the main reasons I haunt the forums so much. I know we are still new to this and we want to see where things can go wrong, see where other people have had problems and try to figure out how we will handle them before it happens. It's helped a great deal.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sublizzie)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:15:06 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

well we can put this to a poll question just for fun


You certainly can if you like. But I'm sure that you will understand that it won't affect my feelings on the matter, as I know it won't affect yours.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:32:46 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		anyone can read a text book it is how it is applied that make the difference and that is something that only real life
experience can teach you

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 10:37:57 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

anyone can read a text book it is how it is applied that make the difference and that is something that only real life
experience can teach you



You aren't listening.

We aren't learning from a textbook. We learn from others. We attend a local group where the more experienced dominants and submissives teach us. We meet with other BDSMers our own age where we share experiences, techinques, styles, tips and how-tos. We pay attention to those on the forums and learn from their experiences. We are respectful of those with more knowledge and they show us what they know.

I pay attention to how others here conduct their relationships. I make notes, I listen. I see what works for them. We see if it works for us.

There is no textbook, only a living classroom with other BDSMers as our teachers and our fellow students.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 11:06:20 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

anyone can read a text book it is how it is applied that make the difference and that is something that only real life
experience can teach you



You aren't listening.

We aren't learning from a textbook. We learn from others. We attend a local group where the more experienced dominants and submissives teach us. We meet with other BDSMers our own age where we share experiences, techinques, styles, tips and how-tos. We pay attention to those on the forums and learn from their experiences. We are respectful of those with more knowledge and they show us what they know.

I pay attention to how others here conduct their relationships. I make notes, I listen. I see what works for them. We see if it works for us.

There is no textbook, only a living classroom with other BDSMers as our teachers and our fellow students.


.. I do not care how you get from point a to point b but you are responsible for what you do with the person your with..and with that being said accountable.. that means nilla and ds.. if joe public was able to hand le such responsiblites in life as to deal with the levels of ds whcih come with real life experince years they would be great at twenty and we would see more instructors at that age... but you don t because they do not have a masters skills to be just that can only be done by  real life experince long term how many poly house holds do we with a twenty year old dom lol how many books do see or events done by twenty year old doms..
how many  lectures are given at events by twenty year old doms 
i am sorry its just the way it is....

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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: .why. - 8/6/2007 11:11:26 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: LATEXBABY64

anyone can read a text book it is how it is applied that make the difference and that is something that only real life
experience can teach you



You aren't listening.

We aren't learning from a textbook. We learn from others. We attend a local group where the more experienced dominants and submissives teach us. We meet with other BDSMers our own age where we share experiences, techinques, styles, tips and how-tos. We pay attention to those on the forums and learn from their experiences. We are respectful of those with more knowledge and they show us what they know.

I pay attention to how others here conduct their relationships. I make notes, I listen. I see what works for them. We see if it works for us.

There is no textbook, only a living classroom with other BDSMers as our teachers and our fellow students.


.. I do not care how you get from point a to point b but you are responsible for what you do with the person your with..and with that being said accountable.. that means nilla and ds..

Of course.
quote:

  

if joe public was able to hand le such responsiblites in life as to deal with the levels of ds whcih come with real life experince years they would be great at twenty and we would see more instructors at that age...

Instructors are people who know a great deal and have earned a great of respect in the BDSM community through time. Not every dominant is an instructor.
quote:

  
but you don t because they do not have a masters skills to be just that can only be done by  real life experince long term

Every master starts somewhere. They do not simply appear.
quote:


how many poly house holds do we with a twenty year old dom lol how many books do see or events done by twenty year old doms..

That doesn't apply to us since we aren't a poly household and aren't going to become one anytime soon. If we do become one it will be when we are settled. Think in ten years.
quote:


how many  lectures are given at events by twenty year old doms 
i am sorry its just the way it is....

Again, lectures are given by a select few who have proven their skills over and over to many people. The vast majority of dominants and masters are simply not instructors and do not give lectures.

That is simply the way it is.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LATEXBABY64)
Profile   Post #: 80
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