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RE: Jealousy - 8/8/2007 10:02:12 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		add me to the list of jealous subs.... i'm not jealous of His current slave, it's just the thought of a new subbie coming into the picture.  i've shared my feelings with Him and He's quick to remind me that when/if He does select another she will not be a replacement.  being new to the Dom/sub relationship i have much to learn with regard to... well, to everything!  *smiles*
i am in complete agreement with the fact that my jealousy is about my insecurities, it's not about Him.  i suppose now that i've seen that reality, i'm better able to deal with my emotions.  i do hope to let the jealousy go and find only pleasure when thinking of my Sir with another, but until then i'll deal with it as best as i know how. 

(in reply to masterslb)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Jealousy - 8/8/2007 11:03:30 PM   
Keshia1969


Posts: 20
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline 		Greetings Master's, Greeting's Mistress's
greetings slaves.

i don't think anyone is immune from eighter jealousy or envy,I am not saying people are wrong for having them (I have a hard time vewing emotions as "good or bad"right or wrong", merely that thay exist), or that they should be suppressed- I do not believe suppression makes an emotion disappear. I am most definitely not saying I have never experienced envy or jealousy.Both envy and jealousy, in my opinion, means the slave is focused on herself, wether it is her desires, her wants, her measuring stick compared to others, or just her own doubts, sense of inadequacy,etc. But in this lifestyle there is no place for envy or jealousy if you feel that there is then you need to move on.


~~well wishes~~

keshia1969.

(in reply to FrankAr)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Jealousy - 8/9/2007 7:26:56 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Keshia1969

Both envy and jealousy, in my opinion, means the slave is focused on herself, wether it is her desires, her wants, her measuring stick compared to others, or just her own doubts, sense of inadequacy,etc. But in this lifestyle there is no place for envy or jealousy if you feel that there is then you need to move on.
Emotions happen. You can't shut them off. Odd things can trigger them. So telling someone that they need to get out of the lifestyle if they feel these emotions is flat out wrong. It's not the fact that you feel them, it's how you deal with them.
 

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Keshia1969)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Jealousy - 8/9/2007 8:46:58 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Keshia1969

Greetings Master's, Greeting's Mistress's
greetings slaves.

Why not greet the submissives as well??  This isn't a gorean board.

But in this lifestyle there is no place for envy or jealousy if you feel that there is then you need to move on.

Maybe in the gorean lifestyle there isn't. As OsideGirl mentioned teling anyone to get out of the lifestyle because they feel an emotion is "flat out wrong"




_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to Keshia1969)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Jealousy - 8/9/2007 9:16:21 AM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		bravo OsideGirl!  W/we are human thus W/we have emotion.  i've had many a conversation with my Sir about my emotions and my occasional desire to turn them off.  ha!  i suppose if i could do that i wouldn't be human now would i. *smiles*
thank You for the comment, "So telling someone that they need to get out of the lifestyle if they feel these emotions is flat out wrong.  It's not the fact that you feel them, it's how you deal with them."  amen Sister!  this is the type of attitude i expect from openminded individuals... isn't that a prerequisit to being in the "lifestyle"?  dang!  i've got to remember that..... "It's not the fact that you feel them, it's how you deal with them."

i remind myself daily, W/we think, feel, behave, and see the world differently.  this is a good thing!

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Jealousy - 8/9/2007 9:42:01 AM   
Milivoje


Posts: 57
Joined: 7/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theq
In a time I am secure in my relations with this girl...if I see a group of guys checking her out and starring at her...I'll instruct her to give them a bit of a show (whether it be a better glimpse of her cleavage...or whatever). On those days...my thoughts are..."like what you see, huh? She's mine...go away now boys and play with your toys."

In my case it was similar.

From our early beginning I could do the same thing, but chose not to. Why you may ask? Everything in her life changed when I arrived; and I, most certainly, will not be the one to mess up the new person who is flourishing out of the ashes of the old one. I wanted (and still do) my slave to feel safe, protected and looked after. In return for that I own an obedient slave who is seldom punished (I honestly can't remember the last time that I had to punish her for something).

As time went by, her confidence and self satisfaction grew. She grew proud of her self and of her submission to me. Only when she started feeling that her submission was the most natural thing in the world, as if it has always been there; only then I started instructing her in simple yet effective ways to toy around with "staring eyes".

One of my simple questions was: are you proud of your new found self?
Answer: Yes Master

The instructions that she got were simple yet highly effective: walk upright and proud. At first it was a bit strange from her point of view, but when I instructed her to look at her body in the mirror, she saw the difference between her normal stance and her proud stance. From then on she changed the way she walked, immediately attracting more attention from the people passing by.
In my opinion far more attention than if she went around in a see thru dress with no underwear.

I have no need to show off my property in public, but I do have the need for my property to stand out from the public.


< Message edited by Milivoje -- 8/9/2007 9:49:06 AM >

(in reply to theq)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Jealousy - 8/9/2007 8:25:42 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		I get the feeling that he's telling you he doesn't have to be faithful even though he said he would be, just because he's the dom. In that case jealousy would be the least of my emotions. Anger, resentment, hurt are more likely. But why get over it? Why not instead use this as a learning experience to know that you are not ever willing to consider an open or poly relationship since it doesn't work for you.

Why stay with someone who shows you through his actions that he doesn't care about you? You deserve better and once you come to realize that and refuse to take less than you deserve, the faster you will find yourself in a good relationship with someone where you are loved and cherished to such a degree that there are no unmet emotional needs any more. I hope you find that soon.

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Jealousy - 8/10/2007 4:02:01 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Keshia1969

Greetings Master's, Greeting's Mistress's
greetings slaves.

Why not greet the submissives as well??  This isn't a gorean board.

But in this lifestyle there is no place for envy or jealousy if you feel that there is then you need to move on.

Maybe in the gorean lifestyle there isn't. As OsideGirl mentioned teling anyone to get out of the lifestyle because they feel an emotion is "flat out wrong"





Greetings velvetears,

I thought of replying in length to the post of yours, in a nice way, you know how I am....just chuckles.  I had the wording going through my mind in a relaxed atmosphere and just kicking back.  I would have spoken about the greeting, the words, through my eyes. 

But then it is Friday evening and soon  I have to get to sleep for I have to get up 4 am for the Saturday work and then I also have Sunday work.  I might still reply, but then I might not, just grins.

Be well.

Frank Ar.

PS the one with the pic that really NEEDS to be UPDATED...geez.....LOL..


< Message edited by FrankAr -- 8/10/2007 4:04:22 AM >

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Jealousy - 8/10/2007 10:29:32 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

i can't control what people do to bring up an emotion in me but i can control how i react and what action i take thereafter and that in itself is VERY empowering.


and from Michael: "I think what you meant was that it wasn't a solution to anything and I agree. Talking to your partner, dealing with the issue directly is the way to move forward."

Exactly. What you are both saying is what I was getting at. People who own their emotions are not led by them. They understand it isn't the other person causing their emotions, it is themselves choosing what emotions to react with from the other person's actions.

Namaste, Dominic

_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Jealousy - 8/12/2007 7:07:34 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Keshia1969

Greetings Master's, Greeting's Mistress's
greetings slaves.

Why not greet the submissives as well??  This isn't a gorean board.

But in this lifestyle there is no place for envy or jealousy if you feel that there is then you need to move on.

Maybe in the gorean lifestyle there isn't. As OsideGirl mentioned teling anyone to get out of the lifestyle because they feel an emotion is "flat out wrong"





Greetings velvetears,

Boy the weekend has made me tired, but I will reply in more depth and I hope you can fathom what I am trying to say.

In Gor, and if she travels to other boards over the world, the female slave is taught how to address people.  The slave is shown how to address people on all forms.  The female does this over and over.  Now whether she is on the Gor boards or the BDSM boards, she will still greet as she is taught.  You have to think of the thought that for some people they do not even greet when they start on the post.  They just start their post and even finish without a goodbye.  I have done this, to some people whom do not address, because why should I address them and them not address me, even just with my first name.  It would be like going into a crowd going over to someone and starting to talk with them and then just walking away, in my eyes.  Does it really kill for a person to add a few extra words on the post and take another 3 mins for the reply?

So the female did not really address the subs.  Does it really kill them?  Nah.  With the post, did you address her, nah.  Just a thought on addressing people.  I have no concern if you do not address people, that is your perogative.  But, if you do not address others, then why fly off the handle about another?  But then it does say that you are evil on the posting totals.....just grins and smiles.

I also think that the slave did not word her posting correctly.  She should have mentioned that the lifestyle that she was talking of, meant only as a Gor lifestyle.  In Gor there should be no jealoussy.  I have put....should....as a slave has no feelings that should merit it.  As a FM of Gor, you have the right to own more than 1 female.  Let us face it, would it not kill the female to do all the household chores, so not why get more than 1.  If a FM can afford more than one, so be it.  Get 1 for the cooking, one for the cleaning, 1 for the gardening and so forth.  I have had a few people write to me on the other side about my posting of the jealoussy in a female and writing saying that this is how they are NOT going to treat their women.  I have no concern, for I can't live in their shoes and they can't live in mine.  I make my decisions in MY life, so then I can only write about it thinking of MY life.  If people do not like it, then let it be, don't say that I am right or wrong when the person does not live in my shoes.

Does my rambling make sense for you, velvetears? 

Be well.

Frank Ar.


< Message edited by FrankAr -- 8/12/2007 7:10:55 AM >

_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Jealousy - 8/12/2007 7:38:14 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Keshia1969

Greetings Master's, Greeting's Mistress's
greetings slaves.

i don't think anyone is immune from eighter jealousy or envy,I am not saying people are wrong for having them (I have a hard time vewing emotions as "good or bad"right or wrong", merely that thay exist), or that they should be suppressed- I do not believe suppression makes an emotion disappear. I am most definitely not saying I have never experienced envy or jealousy.Both envy and jealousy, in my opinion, means the slave is focused on herself, wether it is her desires, her wants, her measuring stick compared to others, or just her own doubts, sense of inadequacy,etc. But in this lifestyle there is no place for envy or jealousy if you feel that there is then you need to move on.


~~well wishes~~

keshia1969.



I agree completely with what you have had to say....It is wise and holds merit.....Why you ask, do I feel this way?...It's actually quite simple....If that is your pricture...You my friend, are fucking HOT!!!! HOT!!! HOT!!!

In actuality jealousy is not a good master to serve.....Did I mention that you are HOT?  Why aren't you naked in your profile....I thought all of you little Gorean girls run around naked all of the time?

Be gone Gorean!!! Your kind are not welcome here....Worse than illegal aliens.  But GeezLouise, she is a fucking cutie pie!  Why are all of the cute ones gay or gorean?  The Domidong is soooo sad.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 8/12/2007 7:39:01 AM >

_____________________________



(in reply to Keshia1969)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Jealousy - 8/12/2007 7:56:19 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: Keshia1969

Greetings Master's, Greeting's Mistress's
greetings slaves.

Why not greet the submissives as well??  This isn't a gorean board.

But in this lifestyle there is no place for envy or jealousy if you feel that there is then you need to move on.

Maybe in the gorean lifestyle there isn't. As OsideGirl mentioned teling anyone to get out of the lifestyle because they feel an emotion is "flat out wrong"






...In Gor, and if she travels to other boards over the world, the female slave is taught how to address people.  The slave is shown how to address people on all forms.  The female does this over and over.  Now whether she is on the Gor boards or the BDSM boards, she will still greet as she is taught..... 

So the female did not really address the subs.  Does it really kill them?  Nah.  With the post, did you address her, nah.  Just a thought on addressing people.  I have no concern if you do not address people, that is your perogative.  But, if you do not address others, then why fly off the handle about another? 

I also think that the slave did not word her posting correctly.  She should have mentioned that the lifestyle that she was talking of, meant only as a Gor lifestyle.  In Gor there should be no jealoussy.  I have put....should....as a slave has no feelings that should merit it.  As a FM of Gor, you have the right to own more than 1 female. 


Everyone has their own way of addressing their posts. Most, unless they are speaking to a specific person, don't address. On the gorean boards most kajira do address, i have noticed that. As you say they are taught to greet, i would think kajira would want to be polite and respect everyone so when they venture out of gor, why not teach them to greet the subs?  Unless they are specifically taught not to recognize them, even outside of gor, it would be good practice to.

If i were reading on a gorean board and saw her post as she did, i would not have batted an eye at it, as subs are generaly not recognized in gor. But she ventured out of the gorean boards and posted on a general bdsm board, so i think it is only appropriate and a show of manners that if a kajira address on a  general board, she address everyone or else some may be offended.  Not addressing a group that is included in a board, if you address at all,  is like saying - i don't recognize you, you do not exist to me, you are not worth speaking to. 

99% of the people don't address - i don't, that is my style, so when i post, i am not exluding anyone.  Btw, i didn't "fly of the handle" i made a remark. Flying off the handle to me means i lost perspective, was ranting and raving, and rude in my speech - none of which i did. i simply pointed out something i saw that to me seemed inappropriate.

i do agree that the jealousy thing is more a gorean concept then not.  Gor has certain rules and protocals that are set and everyone from gor follows them. This is not true of the general bdsm population, thanks for pointing that out.

Have a great week -

< Message edited by velvetears -- 8/12/2007 8:01:44 AM >

_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to FrankAr)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Jealousy - 8/12/2007 8:01:51 AM   
materpain


Posts: 4
Joined: 8/12/2007
Status: offline 		personally i feel that jealousy in a slave is a huge compliment to me and a real statement to their loyalty i would never take it as a bad thing if a slave/sub is jealous it means they have a true inner desire to serve you and it should be rewarded

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Jealousy - 8/12/2007 9:23:11 AM   
brattybabe4u


Posts: 26
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		sorry wrong post

< Message edited by brattybabe4u -- 8/12/2007 9:59:10 AM >

(in reply to Milivoje)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Jealousy - 8/12/2007 9:39:44 AM   
brattybabe4u


Posts: 26
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		sorry wrong place

< Message edited by brattybabe4u -- 8/12/2007 9:57:30 AM >

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Jealousy - 8/13/2007 5:34:00 AM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline 		Greetings,

I will break it down even more.

On Gor there it two types of female, slave and FW.  There is no sub on Gor, so if she addresses a FW and slaves, this then covers ALL females.

If you didn't want to make the address stand out in your mind, then why highlight it with a dark blue colour in your response.  Why not make it a normal colour as you write with other posting.  You highlighted it and thus were......flying off the wall....grins and chuckles.

Frank Ar.




_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Jealousy - 8/13/2007 7:17:39 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		personally i feel that jealousy in a slave is a huge compliment to me and a real statement to their loyalty i would never take it as a bad thing if a slave/sub is jealous it means they have a true inner desire to serve you and it should be rewarded

From reading your brief (barely intelligible) profile, it makes perfect sense to me that you would make this absurd comment. Jealousy is an emotion based on insecurity and low self-esteem, truly a real statement of their mental and emotional health as well as their loyalty to you.

Namaste, Sir Dominic



_____________________________

You teach best what you have lived.

(in reply to materpain)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Jealousy - 8/13/2007 10:33:43 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

Greetings,

I will break it down even more.

On Gor there it two types of female, slave and FW.  There is no sub on Gor, so if she addresses a FW and slaves, this then covers ALL females.

Ok and as i said before the general bdsm section isn't gor and there are subs outside of gor - to assume everywhere is going to accept the norms of gor is short sighted and not going to promote good feelings or relations when venturing outside of gor, in other words the kajira are going to come off as.. well... snobbish.  Just as when someone who isn't gorean goes to gor and you expect them to respect your way of life, the same consideration should be given.

If you didn't want to make the address stand out in your mind, then why highlight it with a dark blue colour in your response.  Why not make it a normal colour as you write with other posting.  You highlighted it and thus were......flying off the wall....grins and chuckles.

i post two different ways, When i want to make seperate points instead of using the quote thing a bunch of times i just post underneath what i am addressing in the op and use a different color so as not to confuse others who is speaking.  It depends on my mood which way i post. i am podting this way here to give you an example.  

Frank Ar.



_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to FrankAr)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Jealousy - 8/13/2007 4:58:34 PM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

Greetings,

I will break it down even more.

On Gor there it two types of female, slave and FW.  There is no sub on Gor, so if she addresses a FW and slaves, this then covers ALL females.

Ok and as i said before the general bdsm section isn't gor and there are subs outside of gor - to assume everywhere is going to accept the norms of gor is short sighted and not going to promote good feelings or relations when venturing outside of gor, in other words the kajira are going to come off as.. well... snobbish.  Just as when someone who isn't gorean goes to gor and you expect them to respect your way of life, the same consideration should be given.



Greetings,

Will explain my thoughts by dividing the quotes from each other, because I know that you might be just rolling your eyes and saying....bloody hell does He not GET it....just grins and laughs.

The greetings is generic.  Like I have said that the FW title also covers subs.  But then I never said that..I just said that there is only slaves or FW on Gor, so I wasn't covering all the bases that should have been covered.  I have seen many posts from all types of people, Doms, Dommes, subs and slaves, Masters from the BDSM side, giving their two cents worth, but being heard.  Why were they heard, because they just wrote what was on their mature mind, but had a very good mental thought to back up what was on their mind.  They used what they did in life and had done.  All have had great conversations with Gor Free and the kajira and no skin has been taken off.  It does not matter whom posts, if you have a great thought with some good mature basis for the thought, then we will hear you.  You get some idiots, let us face this even on this side of the fence, that come in and just say some crap and then try to get into arguments.

Do we ever have slaves promoting good Gor...just grins with tongue in cheek.

I hope you understand my train of thought even more, but then we can just go on for hours on end about this topic and let us both face this, I am just stubborn sometimes...just grins...to just let it go.

Be well.

Frank Ar.


_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Jealousy - 8/13/2007 5:02:04 PM   
FrankAr


Posts: 817
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: velvetears

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr


If you didn't want to make the address stand out in your mind, then why highlight it with a dark blue colour in your response.  Why not make it a normal colour as you write with other posting.  You highlighted it and thus were......flying off the wall....grins and chuckles.

i post two different ways, When i want to make seperate points instead of using the quote thing a bunch of times i just post underneath what i am addressing in the op and use a different color so as not to confuse others who is speaking.  It depends on my mood which way i post. i am podting this way here to give you an example.  

Frank Ar.




Greetings,

I see where I did make the mistake by thinking that you were trying to outline your thought trail by writing in the blue colour, but it is to just seperate the writing for your posting.

I'll give you that one.......just chuckles and raises the eyebrows a few times in quick succession...and then laughs even more...

Be well.

Frank Ar.


_____________________________

I am just me, simple ol me.

Even the softest whisper can be heard in the loudest group....Frank H.

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 60
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