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RE: Jealousy - 8/13/2007 5:56:21 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: masterslb

Please help me find a way to get over jealousy...i know there is no place for a sub to be jealous...but to overcome this i need to focus any advice?

First... appreciate what exactly is Jealousy

I consider Jealousy to be the fear of losing something you believe is yours to someone else.

Now... I know many stated that Jealousy is an insecurity. In part, I disagree with that. It is an insecurity... but it is an insecurity caused by a fear to lose what you believe is yours and you want it.

To look at Jealousy.. you need to specifically look at what ignites the fear of that loss. This can be the hard part. Because we are dealing with your preception of a situation. Sometimes the fear can be very accurate and then sometimes it is not. Sometimes we are making judgements based on circumstantial evidence and not actual facts. The more we allow the fears to rule our perception and judgement.. the more likely we will make wrong judgements and the more we depend on circumstantial evidence. IE. just because there is lipstick on the shirt collar doesn't equate to cheating. It is circumstantial and alot more is need to make a fair judgement.

To deal with jealousy you need to consider what is igniting the fears in a more unemotional manner. It's not easy. But taking the time to actually evaluated the actual evidence that ignites the fears in a logical manner will help to control the fear and the jealousy. It of course can only serve to prove the point of the jealousy in the first place. Contrary to opinion, jealousy is not a useless emotion. It is actually very useful protect measure... IF, you use the emotion.. instead of the emotion using you. Secondly, the emotion is not neccessarily rooted in a person's Insecurity. It may.. but even the most secure person will feel jealous, if the right conditions exist. The difference between an Insecure person feeling jealousy and a secure person is the way the deal with the emotion.

Also.. alot of individuals in my opinion state jealousy when the more appropriate word would be Envy. Envy is wanting and craving for something that someone else has.. which in effect is not yours to have in the first place. So do .you really have jealousy issues or is it envy... maybe it's both

anyways.. that's enough of my rambling

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Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to masterslb)

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Post #: 61

RE: Jealousy - 8/13/2007 11:33:00 PM

Keshia1969

Posts: 20
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline

Greetings

this one is sorry she offened anybody...but what this one was taught that in gorean lifestyle if you feel jealousy then the gorean lifestyle is not for you . that there is no room in the lifestyle for that.Master's will have more than one slave you need not be jealouse. this one was just posting what she was taught.

~~well wishes~~
keshia1969

(in reply to KnightofMists)

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Post #: 62

RE: Jealousy - 8/14/2007 6:36:33 AM

velvetears

Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

The greetings is generic. Like I have said that the FW title also covers subs. But then I never said that..I just said that there is only slaves or FW on Gor, so I wasn't covering all the bases that should have been covered.

i suppose at this point it's beating a dead horse but the point i keep trying to make is she posted outside of gor, inside of gor subs are not recognized they are lumped together as freewomen, so if one ventures outside of gor shouldn't they recognize that maybe their gorean assumptions are not accepted and well recieved and perhaps insulting to those of us who do identify as submissive?

Goreans want others to respect their ways, especially when they venture over to the gorean boards. i would think they would want to return the same respect back and not impose gorean standards on those who do not adhere to them.

i am not a FW, i am not a slave, i am a submissive.

Just something to think about....

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Post #: 63