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how long do you look - 8/7/2007 2:10:21 PM   
atendersoul


Posts: 167
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
I enjoy reading the profiles on this site and this has interested me about people meeting in real time each other.....how long have you been looking and have you any success?
If you are still looking, what is the problems you encountered in finding what you seek?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 2:27:27 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
Don't 'look'.  Just enjoy the ride as you walk along your path.  It swerves and deviates sometimes and then it can cross with others - and that is when the real fun starts.
I didn't meet Darcy here, but we did meet online elsewhere and not on a dating site and we just clicked.  Much excitement to come as we embark on creating more together workwise and learning about each other personally.  It has been over a year now and we rock! (Hows that for ego?)
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________


RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to atendersoul)
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RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 4:11:05 PM   
KiandPhoenix


Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline
I spent a year on another site. Had some good luck in finding friends, because I made it my focus. I wanted a partner, but it is a totally different mentality to seek friends and just be open to seeing if more would happen. I still have friends. I went to TX and spent four days with a wonderful girl. I have friends online who talk on the phone occasionally. I have women who call me before their husbands when something goes wrong. Some of them have seen me though hard times. So yes, I have had a lot of success. I consider myself lucky to have met these people even the ones we stopped talking after a few messages.

Have I met a partner online? No. But I don't measure success in partners, but in relationships of all types.

~Ki

(in reply to RCdc)
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RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 4:33:41 PM   
Einzelganger


Posts: 221
Joined: 4/8/2007
From: Orlando, FL
Status: offline
I've been looking for a few years now.  It's taking some time, if for no other reason than my age, or lack thereof.  I seek someone with a certain level of maturity...one that usually only comes with age; most of the women who possess it, it would seem, prefer someone closer to their own physical age...say, somewhere between 30 and 40.  As such, I've got some time to kill. *smiles*

In the meantime, I've met some very cool people here, very open minded (as would be expected, I suppose) and very honest; some brutally so (I always loved that in my friends).  I've met several of said people in real time.  Hell, I've even met a couple who hired me to play for a business dinner for their company, and another three whose BMW's I now maintain on a regular basis.  I hate to steal an already overused phrase, but...this place really is like a box of chocolates.  There's something interesting and different about everyone here...even if a few of them are nutty. *grins*

-Einzelgänger

P.S.  Yes, I know...I'm a bit nutty myself.

< Message edited by Einzelganger -- 8/7/2007 4:35:39 PM >

(in reply to KiandPhoenix)
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RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 4:46:10 PM   
givemyall


Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline
Someone off here that I would like to call a friend once gave me the line 'when you stop kicking so hard, you float naturally' - I took his advice and stopped searching so hard.  Since then I have met so many wonderful people, people that I would class as close friends, that I can't imagine not having then in my life now..... his advice was priceless, so I don't care how long I am looking for that 'special person' as im meeting magnificent people along the way. 

Problems ive come across?...... just the usual idiots that read half my profile and miss the humour then send me shitty messages telling me what a cow I am, but they just end up as journal/laughing fodder... so they are good too I guess 

(in reply to atendersoul)
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RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 4:49:46 PM   
abda


Posts: 48
Joined: 6/10/2007
Status: offline
I have decided not "look" and just enjoy myself attending lifestyle events such  as munches, conferences. I know that he will find me. Like the saying goes, good things come to those who wait and I am going to wait.

(in reply to atendersoul)
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RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 5:24:04 PM   
cattus69tabernus


Posts: 18
Joined: 8/2/2007
Status: offline
I haven`t looked in here, because I am owned. I met my owner online, in IRC in the only bdsm channel in my country (not many people go there). We chatted for 2 years in which I though he was absolutely disguisting - a cynic with big muscles and no brains. Thats what I thought. After two years I accidentely went to the capital (where he lives) to see my brother, who is studying there. Before I left for the capital we arranged a meeting (since my brother had to go to the university and I was left with a free gap in my time). When I saw him I thought he was purrrfect. And it took me only 5 minutes of talking with him to fall in love and understand that first impressions aren`t usually the truth.


_____________________________

Roper: Obey your president, you little biatch!

(in reply to abda)
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RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 5:56:20 PM   
ExquisiteFeline


Posts: 124
Status: offline
"Looking" and "Waiting" dont fit with me, i dont look for relationships, however i look into relationships. For me using this online service is a means to communicate of subjects that are hard to voice in everyday life, i am usually online researching anyway, and little chat here and there and a look over a forum in between. I like to know what goes on for other ppl, i have a curious mind, and i particularly interested in ppl, and dynamics, it is always intriguing for me.
I have met ppl from online forums and blogs and things, but there was never any intention of forming a relationship with them, however i am friends with some. I think the opportunity of being anonymous, has increased my chances of making friends with ppl i would not have otherwise in real life.
When we are looking for something it can be hard to find... like my mum always says "You cant see the forest, for the trees." You never know, what you are looking for may well be right in front of you, and you never had to go looking for it anyway. Just be open to what is around you, open your awareness, something this society lacks is depth, generally ppl are very surface, i would rather have one or two in depth conversations than 20 about how the weather is. This is where online communication can (or not) open deeper understanding of the self and others, some ppl are far more comfortable revealing themselves through a medium like this. The communication i have had through this site has helped open my awareness, and i am able to more recognize what is already around me as having value or some journey in it.

I think the most exciting thing about meeting someone you have spoke online with for sometime, is that upon actually physically meeting each other, you (apparently) know each other well. At times i have found a certain depth in connection, that may have not been able to come to if we were to meet in the usual way, the pure, direct communication without all the physical interruption, gives opportunity to understand another with out the usual preconceptions, projections, and body communications that we create by physically viewing each other. Its funny that moment, like ten minutes after you have spilled out over each other, and then take that moment to realize... hey we are really just meeting each other for the first time!

Dont go "looking" you are at danger to create projections, and expectations. Sometimes when we want something we see things as we want them not as they are. Be open to all around you, and observant , fully engage yourself, while still remaining somewhat detached, the detached part is the observer. That way you can fully be in the purity of connection with someone, however have your alerts ready, to pick up on any waving red flags, and flashing lights saying "Wrong way, go back!!!"
I am not much into responding to Doms messages in my inbox, that are obviously looking for a sub, meaning sex, i would more respond to "Hey my girlfriend, a few friends and i are going to a club on Saturday night, you sound really cool, and we thought you would be interested in some new friends to hangout with."

Do you have a list of conversational questions to ask that helps define a personality?
Like some of mine: What books do you read? What kind of car would you have if you could have any? What is your favorite foods? What do you do in your spare time? and i always love throwing this one in- Do you breed fighting dogs? It gets some amusing reactions ;) oh and any guy that asks me in the first conversation questions like, do you suck cock or shave your pussy gets immediately deleted after the conversation. I am vary wary of online psychology ;)

(in reply to Einzelganger)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 6:10:38 PM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline
Meeting in R/T to me is a necessity if the relationship has gone one for a longgggggg time!!!  Some may be fine with online, and that is fine with me, but I never aimed towards that and never thought that i would finish like that.  I tell all, a year ago, i promised myself one time only and have stuck to that and plan on sticking to it.  Once is enough and if you are fortunate enough to meet the right one, then i say hold on to them with all your might!

(in reply to ExquisiteFeline)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 6:34:38 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: atendersoul

I enjoy reading the profiles on this site and this has interested me about people meeting in real time each other.....how long have you been looking and have you any success?
If you are still looking, what is the problems you encountered in finding what you seek?


been too long, not currently seeking due to lack of interests here. just here for friends and having some fun.


_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 7:18:20 PM   
LadyHeart


Posts: 561
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
I waited more than a year before first playing for real, and regarded the on line sites and chat rooms as just part of the scene as a whole. I also explored munches and play parties and fetish events, and read my way through dozens of websites before committing myself to anything. I made friends and contacts on line, but nothing much happened until I ventured out into the community. One thing I did learn - the more you hurry the slower you go....
Happy "looking"
:))
LH

_____________________________

"BDSM is not an excuse for bad manners."

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
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RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 7:35:59 PM   
playfulotter


Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline
i looked for over two years since my last relationship that lasted one year and i met him from bondage.com..most meetings in those last two years  were one or two dates things..chemistry is so important. i met my match as they say at match.com..go figure! Perfect Dom for me. Of course the vanilla side is as important for me as the D/s...hard to live in a fantasy world 24/7...

_____________________________

We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.” ― Benjamin Franklin

"Some people are otters, some people are rocks." ~Sheldon Cooper

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 8:05:29 PM   
SingleRarity


Posts: 320
Joined: 9/13/2006
Status: offline
Randomly one of my friends suggested that, (after years of me exclaiming vague interest in kink/bdsm) I should look into exploring the lifestyle.  SO......that day I typed in some random string of words into Google's search engine and somehow ended up on b.com's personals pages.  Three profiles down was Daddy!

Seriously I emailed him, he emailed back....four and half months later we're in a 24/7 M/s relationship.  He's intelligent, sexy, dorky, and oh so dominant.  I couldn't have asked for more.

So all in all , I looked for about twenty minutes.

(in reply to playfulotter)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 8:33:03 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
I spent 42 years looking for her, about 10 years ago I wrote stories about her, I finally found her this year. 

(in reply to SingleRarity)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 8:33:20 PM   
angelic


Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline
i have been here umm... a while...  and a big part of the problem in finding what i seek is me.  i am ok with that too.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci


(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 8:39:00 PM   
brielle


Posts: 5
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline
I actually did not meet my Mistress here on CollarMe.  She does have a CM profile, but we met in a S/M club in NYC and had an immediate connection.

I wasn't having very good luck with people I was talking to online...  Most either seemed to lose interest, or just didn't put forth the connection effort I was hoping for.  On the other hand, Mistress had the upper hand in real life, and didn't take long to be assertive and draw me in. 

Sometimes, things happen for a reason, and you meet people for a reason...  And in this case, I am a very happy sub.  :-)

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 9:10:37 PM   
tawney1


Posts: 26
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline
Master and I both had profiles on alt for a couple of years before he emailed me.  I had been in and out of the bdsm lifestyle in the bedroom playtime scene for years, but had never sought a full time M/s relationship. 
I had known for some time that there was something missing in my life, but I did not know what.  I had to find that what before I could move forward. As soon as I figured out for myself what it was that I was missing and changed my profile the tiniest bit, Master emailed me.
We would talk on line, finishing each other's sentences and typing answers to questions that were being typed as we did. It was only 4 months after we met in real life that I submitted to him as slave and now three years later I don't regret that decision at all. He is my everything.  All I wish was that I would have found that what sooner. Growth comes in many ways and perhaps I wouldn't have been ready for it had it come sooner.

tawney
property of Odin

(in reply to brielle)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: how long do you look - 8/7/2007 9:46:01 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
looked on / off for over 4 years.  This is my off time lol.

(in reply to tawney1)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: how long do you look - 8/8/2007 1:53:25 AM   
GentleSubb


Posts: 1
Joined: 8/6/2007
Status: offline
I am a 54yr old Subbie. Yes still a "virgin" so to speak. I have been looking for a FemDom now for over 12mths wit little success. No doubt my age does not help but I find it very difficult to make even an initial contact. I live in Brisbane and it has always been an ultr-conservative city as has the whole state of Queensland. If you can give me any advice on how I might "break the ice" (so to speak) or know of someone or somewhere I might go I honestly would be most appreciative. 

(in reply to atendersoul)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: how long do you look - 8/8/2007 6:48:17 AM   
michelleryder


Posts: 198
Joined: 5/18/2007
Status: offline
The advice about don't look  is good. No way was i looking for a master. We were online friends for months decided to meet and the rest is history as they say.

(in reply to GentleSubb)
Profile   Post #: 20
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