Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Others


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Others Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Others - 8/8/2007 8:30:26 AM   
Switchgirl68


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline 		Is it wrong for me to be upset that my Husband/Master desires to see others behind my back?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 8:34:50 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		No, being upset is something that happens.

But how do you know he desires to see other people behind your back?  Find emails or messages?  Best thing to do is get it out in the open and talk about it.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Switchgirl68)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 8:40:54 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		Wrong to be upset?...no, not even alittle. Now about this "behind your back" thing...yeah...now THAT would be wrong in my book....

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to Switchgirl68)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 8:42:34 AM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		Of course not.  However it is wrong to be upset, don't talk to him about it and seethe about it for weeks on end until you finally blow up.  I'd chat with him about it soon.

_____________________________

D~

Seeking, searching, hoping, living, loving, jumping. So what's new with you?

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 9:43:20 AM   
feastie


Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		Seeing others behind your back constitutes cheating.  If you two did not agree or have not discussed an open relationship, then you need to discuss it with him.  You also need to consider if it's something you can or will choose to live with.

_____________________________

Snarky and loving it.

Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 9:59:55 AM   
beargonewild


Posts: 22716
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline 		Might be a wise choice to sit and have an open, honest heart to heart talk with your husband/master to clear the air before risking jumping to conclusions.

_____________________________

Do Not Rile da Chosen Bear

Promiscuous boy you already know
That I’m all yours what you waiting for?

Resident MANWHORE ~1000 Bear pts~

10 NZ points
Whips~n~Cuffs

(in reply to Switchgirl68)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 10:05:24 AM   
mmb1


Posts: 304
Joined: 8/3/2007
Status: offline 		Once again, i will say.....................be sure you have your facts straight.

(in reply to beargonewild)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 10:12:55 AM   
Babybass


Posts: 230
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline 		i agree with all of the above!! it is not wrong to feel upset - and if it happens behind your back then it is cheating! however - if he has told you of his desires then you should not really be too upset - as long as they are only desires. Anything further has to be agreed upon. If it is only fantasy at this stage and he has told you - then you cannot be upset for a thought he had!
If it is more than fantasy and has happened behind your back then you have every right to feel upset/angry/jealous!

(in reply to mmb1)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 11:03:34 AM   
MrDiscipline44


Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Switchgirl68

Is it wrong for me to be upset that my Husband/Master desires to see others behind my back?
Yes, you're being highly unreasonable. Leave your dirty laundry at home. Nobody wants to see it.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to Switchgirl68)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 1:48:52 PM   
Switchgirl68


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline 		The topic has been discussed at length.

(in reply to earthycouple)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 4:29:21 PM   
adoracat


Posts: 1779
Joined: 2/16/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Switchgirl68

The topic has been discussed at length.


if you've discussed it at length, then you should know the answer.  its not unreasonable for you to be upset, feelings just *are*.  its what you decide to *do* about it that matters.

he might go ahead and see others, despite your objections.  the question is:  have you decided what to do if he does?

kitten, who IS in an open situation.

(in reply to Switchgirl68)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 5:53:54 PM   
SirMIkeSD


Posts: 613
Joined: 3/16/2007
From: San Diego, Ca
Status: offline 		If you have discussed it then is it really behind your back?  

(in reply to adoracat)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Others - 8/8/2007 9:52:11 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		I think it's clear what you think.  so why the question?

_____________________________

Sunshine

Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

(in reply to Switchgirl68)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Others - 8/9/2007 4:34:41 AM   
imthatacheyouhav


Posts: 1259
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		By the way.....please dont hesitate to ask questions on the forums, thats what its here for. Now you may not get the answers you want...you can ALWAYS ask questions and seek advice if you so desire.

_____________________________

*if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything*
**collared July 22 2007 by LordKen**

(in reply to Switchgirl68)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Others - 8/9/2007 11:26:51 AM   
velvetears


Posts: 2933
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline 		If hes doing so behind your back and it's also been discussed at length than i assume the discussion led to your not agreeing to his seeing others when you were not present, maybe not even in your presence. 

First i would like to ask - are you sure he's actually doing so behind your back or are you perhaps allowing fear to lead you to think so.  You know he would like to see others and maybe this has caused you to feel insecure about your relationship with him.

If you do have evidence he truly is seeing others behind your back then you have every right in the world to be upset and angry, but you have some decisions to make. You can change your mind because you want to keep him in your life and live miserably with a condition you really don't want or you can choose to leave the relationship if he doesn't stop - but really mean it and desire it if you say it.



_____________________________

Religion is for people who are scared of hell, Spirituality is for people who have been there

(in reply to imthatacheyouhav)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Others - 8/9/2007 11:33:13 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		I guess the question is what does 'behind my back' mean.  If it means against a committment of fidelity, I'd be upset.  If it's "he wants to have sex with other girls" I'd be like "Cool, bring one home for me!"   If I was a chick, that is.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to velvetears)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Others - 8/9/2007 11:37:21 AM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline 		That's been basically my question about this Stephann.  Far too little information to comment on the specific situation.  Its clear the OP was looking to have an opinion validated, but the circumstances and situation are far too ambiguous for my taste.  Seems to be a trend lately, several threads I've seen of this sort consist of questions with very little context.

_____________________________

Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Others - 8/9/2007 11:40:59 AM   
GhitaAmati


Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline 		Im confused about the "behind your back" phrase too....to me that means he wants to do it without you knowing about it...yet you say its been discussed at length. Do you really mean that he wants to see others without you involved? Its never wrong to "feel" any emotion...feelings are just that, feelings. Its the actions we take based on those feelings that can be good or bad. Are you really asking if its ok to have certain emotions? Of course its ok, no way it couldnt be..you are human after all (im assuming here of course).

Me personally, if Sir wanted to screw some chick without me, Id at least follow along to hold the camera, but thats just me. Now, if I found out he was dating someone else without talking to me about it or at least introducing me to the girl, Id be a bit upset and it may even lead to the end of the relationship. Has he explained to you the reasons behing his "desires"? And you did use the word "desires", is this just something he has a fantasy about? Or something he plans on actually doing. I would never get mad about a fantasy, only about one being acted out upon in a less than honest manner.

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.


Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Others - 8/9/2007 2:37:43 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		Feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are.

Now if by behind your back you mean he's cheating on you when he promised monogamy, then you ought to be upset. If you didn't care what he did, it would mean you didn't have any feelings left for him.

(in reply to GhitaAmati)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Others - 8/9/2007 2:58:48 PM   
ProfJoe


Posts: 75
Joined: 6/7/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds complicated to me ... see the questions above.

I note your profile indicates you're looking for submissive females. I'm wondering if that fits into your question.

ProfJoe

(in reply to Celeste43)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> Others Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.108