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RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 12:06:10 AM   
slave4theOne


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/10/2006
Status: offline 		Correct, but it would be a bit odd if both were never on at the same time, so that would make no sense. Secondly, you've still shown no proof for your accussations of a lawsuit.

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(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 12:17:33 AM   
heavyswitchplayr


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline 		I always looked at BDSM as a journey.  If we start at the top as the op suggests is the way, then where have you to go. 

Are those like the op the true BDSMers.   Quite probably.  Are they the norm, nope they are near the edge of the bell curve.  There are all levels ofs BDSM.  What works for each is right.    
I had heard of the lawsuit issue regards Jade and him.  Heard it close to the way put.  In defense, OJ was found innocent too.  Though it saved him a pile of cash or whatever, I wish he hadn't used that defense, as I had heard of them before Jade's death, and the wonderful relationship they susposedly had. 

With that said I always thought Jade wrote CR because she found her 'calling', and she wanted others to take the first steps to what she found.  Oh and I believe what she found had a beginning, and probably more than one previous failure.  Thus CR.  Oh and since men just need a place, and  women need more,  Thus CR is often fluffy.
Lastly, I've heard a lot of CR bashing, but not one suggestion of a better site.  Let alone several to satify the differing personalities out there.

(in reply to FullfigRIMaam)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 12:28:40 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyswitchplayr


Lastly, I've heard a lot of CR bashing, but not one suggestion of a better site.  Let alone several to satify the differing personalities out there.


IMO, the Fetish Alliance is a much better resource which gives you the good, the bad and the ugly.

Celeste



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"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to heavyswitchplayr)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 12:42:10 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hi folks,

I think there's a distinct difference between bashing, and critcism.  I offered what I thought to be Pros, Cons, and a personal assessment of the site.  Expressing a contrary opinion, does not equate with bashing I think.  I don't have to agree with a perspective, to respect the person expressing that perspective.  I think, as this thread evidences in a few short hours, that the site in question is a worthy topic for conversation and healthy debate.

Stephan


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Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 12:45:46 AM   
heavyswitchplayr


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/30/2007
Status: offline 		Thank you bit of trouble.

Also, I'm trying to remember, but did he alter the website to avoid another or as a result of the court case.  I know it was one of two places I spent a lot of time learning about bdsm years ago, but I don't recognize it now.

(in reply to BitaTruble)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 1:01:22 AM   
slave4theOne


Posts: 10
Joined: 2/10/2006
Status: offline 		i have done several searches and have found nothing about any lawsuit involving CR. Does A/anyone have any information about this other than rumors?

_____________________________

"To be worn out is to be renewed. "
Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-tzu

(in reply to heavyswitchplayr)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 1:15:59 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heavyswitchplayr

Thank you bit of trouble.

Also, I'm trying to remember, but did he alter the website to avoid another or as a result of the court case.  I know it was one of two places I spent a lot of time learning about bdsm years ago, but I don't recognize it now.



I haven't heard of any alterations but I don't spend time out there either so it's possible.

Also, I have no personal knowledge of any court case involving Castlerealm, the existance or non-existance of jade or Colm so I can't help with that one. Perhaps boijen will provide some linkage to support the statement which was posted.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to heavyswitchplayr)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 3:35:18 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline 		Hello Stephann

Firstly - hijack because I LOVE the new photo. - 'nuff said.

Secondly - I don't dislike places like Castlerealm or LeathernRoses, but the problem I find with them is that they never alter.  So what may have been relevant back then does alter and change.  And there are articles in it that I feel do perpetuate the myths that lurk behind BDSM... only because of the way they are written.

What I question, is why people seem to support it so vemently, and then ridicule people who come to CM on the back of castlerealm and tell them that their ideas are 'too' romantic'.  You can have it both ways, but remember that when you are responding to people who come onto CM asking questions.

Peace
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 5:36:36 AM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BoiJen
Also, after a short and quiet lawsuit, there was never any evidence of "Jade" to have ever existed. "Colm" could not furnish proof of this person's existance when being sued for providing alse information and told the courts that "Jade" was a partner who had seperated and created this website without his knowledge.


If everyone who created a false persona on the internet got sued the courts would have to run 'round-the-clock... you need damages to sue, and i can't imagine what they might be. Sounds like an empty rumor to me.

Stephann, if you have that much free time and concern for the education of our future generations, why not do something constructive and put up your own educational website? i fail to see the margin in this endeavor.

(in reply to BoiJen)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 6:18:46 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		Hi dave,

I'm a one foot in front of the other kinda guy.  The idea has a great deal of appeal for me, actually; I really haven't found any sites that I felt 'suited' me, beyond CM in terms of the type of topics I enjoy discussing.

I love the way the boards are set up here, in part because I've been around a while and am familiar, but also because it has a constant stream of 'fresh meat' asking the same basic questions.  Some folks get bored of it, but I enjoy it.

I figger if I don't get bored after writing four or five critiques, I might enjoy organizing something like that.  I also don't have any delusions of grandeur; there are certainly many dozens or hundreds of members of CM who's experience and wisdom far exceed my own.  Fortunately, on a message board, we're entitled to fight only the battles we wish to fight.

Stephan


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to petdave)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 6:29:38 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline 		I guess CR is a nice place to start for some. For me, it was the first site I was introduced to when I was taking my first steps in the lifestyle.. I read a large chunk of it and almost mentally puked. This was utterly not what I was looking for. If it hadn't been for one person to tell me that the site was very specific and very unrealistic I probably would have stayed nilla. 

(in reply to Stephann)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 7:16:15 AM   
MHOO314


Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with LA---just as newbies find CR, they find the hard core European sites--one can only hope that newbies search and read and learn from many sites as well as forums and posting---its a crap shoot actually where they enter their education.

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Mistress Hathor


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 7:40:08 AM   
camille65


Posts: 5746
Joined: 7/11/2007
From: Austin Texas
Status: offline 		I've not been to CR for years and since so many have said it lacks updating I probably won't go back for a look.

Personally I didn't have a problem with it, I recognised immediately that it is a heavily romanticised, very internet oriented glimpse into BDSM. Sometimes we need the flowers and ribbons, sometimes we need clarity and reality.

It was one of the first sites I found and for the most part I liked it. But I got bored very very quickly there and it just didn't feel 'real' to me. I think it is a great place for those that want to feel like they are in WIITWD without having to actually do anything.

There is a mix of very good and very bad there but why is it considered bad aside from the sacchrine quality? Harlequin romance novels are huge sellers so it has to be appealing to a lot.

I don't see it as harmful or destructive, I see it as dipping ones toes into the water. CM on the other hand is more like treading in the center of the ocean  and I mean that in a good way!

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(in reply to MHOO314)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 7:54:41 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Stephann, it's a good thread.  Very much agree with the mini hijack on the new profile pic. 
 
On the topic, I was very glad to hear that you included the good and the bad in the OP.  I find very few things in life to be absolutes of one or the other.  Most things are somewhere inbetween.  In other words, shades of grey.
 
I see CR as I do any other site on the net.  It works for some and not for others.  Some people want the fairy tale and some don't.  Like someone else said, more people start reading Cinderella before reading War and Peace.  There's a reason Disney made a mint.  There's also a reason for CR to have popularity.
 
I won't agrue the point that CR might be BDSM light.  For some people, that might be all they want or can handle.  A couple of people who responded to the OP mentioned that if it was their only exposure to the lifestyle, they would have stayed nilla, but I find that highly unlikely, since google would have turned up other sites as well.  Sooner or later, everyone finds what fits them.  Some are only ready for the fairy tale in the beginning, and if that works, then there's nothing wrong with that.
 
The other mini hijack I have is that folks need to get off the pet peeve about the word "true".

(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 7:56:30 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		1. Any material that states "well if you're a male sub or a female Dominant (or heaven forfend queer) you just do the same stuff and mentally switch the pronouns" can be *detrimental* to those "others" umbrella-d in. Uh, no. There's a WORLD of other issues that come to the table in F/m because our "vanilla" existence and upbringing is different enough that if you can't actively put on your thinking cap and imagine what I might be up against as someone who got basic "girl inculturation" you are not doing right by me or people like me as an educator.

2. I think as a general rule, sites like CM are great for people (male or female) who bring newbie swagger to the table. My problem was I brought newbie terror about what kind of woman I must be if it gets me off to spit in my lover's face. CM just reinforced that that's a shallow mechanical "SM" thang, and in real Dee Ess I should be worrying about his happiness and growth.  If you get the girl programming, believe me, that's the FIRST thing you're concerned with, not your OWN.


(in reply to camille65)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 8:03:28 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		3.  the sections for subs.

They're like a fities dating manual. Substitue "cherry" for "gift of submission." The language -- if you make a mistake and encounter someone who plays you you are then a kind of "damaged goods" which a "twue Dom" comes along and fixes. Don't give it away too easy girls.

I got played by a sub. Ditched him, got up, dusted off, had some drinks with girls, got on with life. He was my first scene and I still feel warmly about him in part, and OK never speaking to him again. Being played as a Dom/me has the added insult to injury of  no one ever talking about it, and internalizing the feeling that if you were calling the shots how could this happen to you, you must be a crappy D.

How about we become adult women who can screw up with open eyes and learn something.  You know, provided we're talking about garden variety asshole date not puppy-raper or something.

If I ran the zoo, I would encourage women to really self-assess how THEY are about casual sex and play and consider that going forward, and even learn how to talk to men and read men non-verbally so that serious people are on the same page, and casual people don't have to get painted as menace to society. There's nothing as beautiful as a couple in love  - or a person who is confident in his/her sexuality and unapologetic in same.

< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 8/9/2007 8:11:39 AM >

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 8:11:03 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
There's nothing as beautiful as a couple in love  - or a person who is confident in his/her sexuality and unapologetic in same.


Just a hijack - that statement just totally ROCKS.
 
Peace
the.dark.

_____________________________
RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Grlwithboy)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 8:14:32 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		why thanks!


(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 8:31:23 AM   
MasterNdorei


Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy
There's nothing as beautiful as a couple in love  - or a person who is confident in his/her sexuality and unapologetic in same.


Just a hijack - that statement just totally ROCKS.
 
Peace
the.dark.

i noticed that too! Great quote!
 
About LC and jade... i did not ever know them in person though i did *talk* to LC online after jade's death.
 
i also *talked* online (and on the phone) to a man who ran another BDSM site called "Vanilla-Not.com". This Dominant and LC admitted knowing each other in real time, and the Dominant told me He had met jade in real time. This does not offer proof because i did not see her myself, but to say jade was made up, without providing proof, is ridiculous.
 
Back in the days of AOL by the hour there were not many adult sites. Things got pulled all the time for being too "adult in nature". CR survived an entirely different internet than what we see today. Just that alone deserves a little respect in my mind.
 
Master's dorei

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(in reply to RCdc)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Castlerealm; or, the meaning of BDSM Lite - 8/9/2007 8:53:45 AM   
SayaNereida


Posts: 152
Joined: 7/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

That site is the epitomy of beginner access to any given man or woman.  Can you imagine them jumping from nothing to HERE? or to pay bondage advert sites and purchasing gear, not just any gear but gear that is for the 'healthy-minded, stable or knowing'? 


Funny thing for me, I did go from knowing nothing to CM.  Ohhh the shock and horror...honestly, for me I'm glad this is where I began, it shows a little of everything/one.
 
Because of this thread, and many others that mentions CR, I finally went to check.
 
It does seem to have some 'fluffy' idea, but everything everyone does has a wide spectrum of
HOW; from not at all to what others deem 'hard core'. 
 
To each their own.
SayaNereida
 


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Anais Nin: Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. ...


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Profile   Post #: 80
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