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makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:18:19 PM   
tosh


Posts: 3
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		Is it right for a Master/ Dom  make a submissive do something she not happy with it ..... 
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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:20:06 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		depends on what it is.

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:22:34 PM   
mmsprecious


Posts: 84
Joined: 12/6/2006
Status: offline 		you may want to be more specific in "something she isn't happy with". my Master makes me do the dishes which i despise. i don't think that is wrong despite how much i hate doing them LOL. so, is this a hard limit? a soft limit? were you allowed limits to begin with and did He know this? you may want to elaborate on that. but in general, it's not wrong for a Master to push His slave/sub to move beyond things that she finds uncomfortable at least in my own opinion.

Master Mike's precious

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:24:02 PM   
KiandPhoenix


Posts: 205
Joined: 8/1/2007
Status: offline 		Depends on the person. Phoenix loves to be made to do things she does not like. It was a hard thing for me to get past when I first entered the lifestyle. After most of these things I have a talk with her, and she usually tells me with a HUGE smile that she loved it, even though she was being made to do something she does not like.

If I tried to make her do something that was against a hard limit, then she might just leave. So it depends on the activity, and the rules for your relationship. I suggest you talk to your partner about the feelings on the subject both of you may have, and see when it is OK within your relationship.

Also to note, even in a vanilla relationship, people make partners do things, on occasion, that they do not like. It is part of the give and take in relationships.
~Ki

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:29:03 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tosh

Is it right for a Master/ Dom  make a submissive do something she not happy with it ..... 


I'll assume you are speaking about a relationship and not just calling up some random submissive to webcam for you or something. If such is the dynamic of the relationship, then it's perfectly reasonable to have your own submissive do things with which they're not happy. If it violates the agreement made between the two parties involved, then, hopefully, communication will take place prior to 'making' a submissive do something.

Celeste

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:31:03 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		what does one do if a Dominant is making a sub/slave do something hazzardous?

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:33:59 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		It very much depends on what the activity is, and what the relationship is between the Master and their sub. I have had the boys do things they dont like, but have ben necessary. They did it becasue they knew they had to. They have ocasionally been asked to do things that were unpleasant for the time they had to do it, but that made me happy.  In either case, they did as they were told, pleasant or not, becasu they were told to do it.

DV


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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:37:52 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

what does one do if a Dominant is making a sub/slave do something hazzardous?


I'd suggest a submissive not get involved with a dominant who would exceed their established limits at which point it becomes a non-issue. If it is a relationship in which the parties involved have changed, then it's time to reevaluate your options to see if you can meet the new criteria or if you have to take a walk as the paths of the parties have diverged too much for the individuals involved to click as a unit.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 3:38:30 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		thank You, i was wondering if it would be considered insubordinant of a submissive to decline such activities

<Edited to catch up>


< Message edited by michaelOfGeorgia -- 8/9/2007 3:40:45 PM >

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 4:39:59 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tosh

Is it right for a Master/ Dom  make a submissive do something she not happy with it ..... 

Slighty different perspective than others.

It depends on the terms of the relationship.  These should have been discussed before a collar was accepted or asked for which emphasizes the need NOT to rush into a relationship with a dominant.  Even once the relationship has been agreed to, there may be some things that still need to be discussed, things you may simply not have thought of beforehand, or because situations have changed in some significant way.  However, simply not wanting too or not being happy with it is not an excuse.  Likewise, being required to do something hazardous is not necessarily an exception either.  I enjoy spelunking, exploring caves can be dangerous, yet I'd still require a submissive to go with me... its hazardous, that isn't an excuse.  On the otherhand, being told to go play in traffic would probably qualify.  Get the difference?

A submissive's job is to serve, in my opinion... and not just when it's pleasant, convenient or you feel like it.  Unless of course you can find some dom willing to agree to such fickle submission.  If you can, knock yourself out... just don't try it with me, I'd kick your ass to the curb and leave skid marks for that kind of behavior.  To each their own.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 4:41:20 PM   
MrDiscipline44


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quote:

ORIGINAL: tosh

Is it right for a Master/ Dom  make a submissive do something she not happy with it ..... 
Yes

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Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 5:40:10 PM   
earthycouple


Posts: 4462
Joined: 2/19/2006
Status: offline 		What do you think, OP? 

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 6:37:49 PM   
theq


Posts: 85
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

what does one do if a Dominant is making a sub/slave do something hazzardous?


Ok....I just have to step in on this one. We call it the 3 S's (ok....one's a C): safe, sane, consensual.

On the consensual end there's a difference between not WANTING to and doing it anyways to be pleasing. A submissive may not like a certain task normally and independent of their Dominant, but may do it and find joy in it because it pleases their Dominant.

As far as hazardous, that would go against safe. One who cares about their submissive in any depth will not make or even ask them to do something that isn't safe. Do you really want to be a submissive to someone who doesn't care about you?

I should also note there's a difference between something being uncomfortable and something being unsafe!


*tosses you 80 cents*....that and this reply may buy you a cup of coffee (somewhere cheap), those are my thoughts...

Q

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 6:41:33 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		thanks for the coins, but i don't touch coffee

as for doing things i'm against, just because it pleases a Mistress...that's not me. so that would be known up front. i would like to maintain at least a little dignity.


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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 6:57:29 PM   
theq


Posts: 85
Joined: 6/17/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia
as for doing things i'm against, just because it pleases a Mistress...that's not me. so that would be known up front. i would like to maintain at least a little dignity.


Respectfully...

A submissive lifestyle (unless it's in the bedroom only) isn't about doing something only when you feel like it. Doing something you don't feel like doing has nothing to do with dignity, it has more to do with submission.

Because I know my girl has a sincere heart to serve, I'd not expect a fuss from her. Because I know slapping her face puts her in her place and in a submissive mind set...and in some ways turns her on...If she fussed about doing something simply because she didn't feel like doing it at the moment (and no better reason) I'd:

1. Slap her face
2. Hold her chin firmly...and her gaze
3. Calmly, firmly, and quietly tell her "do it anyhow".

Again....my $.02

Q

Amended:

At the same time I am not unsympathetic to someone having a bad day. For my submissive when she's having a bad day...I'm tehre for her, I'll listen to her and be easy on her. There's a difference between laziness and genuinely having a bad day.

A submisive friend of mine said in reply:

"What i mean to say is generally there is a reason behind a submissive not wanting to perform a task...a dom has to realise that soemties a submissive needs to vocalize her fears even if she is going tobe made to do it anyhow...she needs to feel that her dom understands her hesitance and is going to take care of her"

To which I say, I tend to agree. But that's a bit more than simply, "I don't feel like it."

Finally, I agree whole heartedly with the post below (#16) by OsideGirl.

< Message edited by theq -- 8/9/2007 7:14:16 PM >

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 7:07:02 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tosh

Is it right for a Master/ Dom  make a submissive do something she not happy with it ..... 
Depends on several things:

1) Is that person your Dominant? If not, then yes it is wrong for that person to attempt to make you do something that you don't want to do.

2) Assuming that the person is your Dominant: Is it something that is illegal or that you consider to be morally or ethically wrong? Something that could cause you permanent harm? Is it a hard limit? If so, then yes it is wrong for anyone to ask you to commit a criminal act, violate your core beliefs or cause you permanent and lasting damage.

3) Assuming that the person is your Dominant: Is it something that you dislike? Then, no it is not wrong for them to make you do something that you dislike.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 7:54:49 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tosh

Is it right for a Master/ Dom  make a submissive do something she not happy with it ..... 


Depends entirely on the relationship that they agree to and what the act is.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:01:46 PM   
arayofsunshine55


Posts: 545
Joined: 8/1/2004
From: San Francisco, CA
Status: offline 		In my relationship?  Yes.

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Is it not most transformative, most earthshaking, to pierce the veils of self-deception and illusion, and crack the eggshell of ignorance, to most intimately encounter oneself? Lama Surya Das

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:13:51 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: michaelOfGeorgia

thanks for the coins, but i don't touch coffee

as for doing things i'm against, just because it pleases a Mistress...that's not me. so that would be known up front. i would like to maintain at least a little dignity.



If you think submission is something is undignitified, what the hell do you want with it?

I do stuff I don't want to do all the time - for my college, my teachers, my parents, my doctor, because the law says I have to. I did stuff I didn't want to do in vanilla relationships because relationships are about two people - not one. That means sometimes you have to do things you don't want to do because you love them, even if it makes your skin crawl and your teeth hurt. In a d/s relationship, the submissive may have to do it more often. Maybe less. But no relationship is all about one person, and certainly a d/s relationship is not all about the desires of the sub.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)
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RE: making submissive do things - 8/9/2007 8:17:12 PM   
michaelOfGeorgia


Posts: 4253
Status: offline 		there's a difference between refusing to do something because one does not feel like it, but it's an entirely different thing if it is against a limit or preference. when it comes to straight D/s service of a non-sexual nature, then i have no difficulties. on the otherhand, there are a few things ofa sexual nature i will never do, regardless. not because i don't feel like it, but because they are hard limits.

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