RE: makeing submissive do things

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/10/2007 8:42:39 AM

tr8nmyholes

Posts: 18
Joined: 7/23/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: tosh

Is it right for a Master/ Dom make a submissive do something she not happy with it .....

Last I checked, it was called 'submission' and not 'democratic bilateral consensus-forming process of what is convenient to be asked to'.

If you are made to do something that you are "not happy with", then you either 1) did not properly establish your limits or 2) hastily offered your submission.

By the way, I am not happy with and never consented to paying taxes or performing jury duty - I do it anyway, because it is all an integral part of what I choose to be part of and participate in. One cannot only pick the cherries out of the fruit salad and send the rest back!

< Message edited by tr8nmyholes -- 8/10/2007 8:43:53 AM >

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/10/2007 10:41:19 AM

cwytch

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/11/2007
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since all hard linits should have been agreed upon prior to the ownership contract there should be nothing that a slave is "made" to do...all things asked from the Master should be done without protest in a pleasing manner...she should be told and it should be done...no making necessay

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/10/2007 12:25:49 PM

sirguym

Posts: 318
Joined: 8/10/2007
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It all comes down to the contract.
Which is why I like my contracts detailed and in writing.
If the contract is unclear, then it is a bad contract.
Verbal contracts are not worth the paper they're not written on.
If a male slave negotiates a contract with a Mistress that says she cannot make him serve men, that is up to them both.
Though most dommes I know would not allow such a limitation on their authority.
My view, and I think it is fairly widely accepted amongst male and female dominants, and female slaves, is that slaves should not be free to choose the gender of whom they serve.
It does not go down well, hoewever, with pushy male subs who seek to lead from below.
Indeed I have attanded FemDom events by invitation, just so they can make their slaves serve me as servants.
The more important question perhaps is whether it is always wise to insist.
There are times when as a Master the contract gives me complete authority to require my slave to do something.
But I will not insist always, because the strain it places on our relationship is not worth imposing.

(in reply to Padriag)

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/10/2007 1:03:27 PM

labrat18610

Posts: 63
Joined: 7/24/2007
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Tosh;
Your question is pretty open ended with few details. There's no way anybody could give you a reasonable answer. Please restate it with more details.
Rick

(in reply to michaelOfGeorgia)

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/10/2007 4:16:24 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tr8nmyholes

If you are made to do something that you are "not happy with", then you either 1) did not properly establish your limits or 2) hastily offered your submission.

or 3) willing to do something that you are "not happy with" because the relationship fulfills you and this one particular moment of unhappiness does not negate that.

Knight's Kyra

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/10/2007 4:40:46 PM

celticlord2112

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quote:

ORIGINAL: tosh

Is it right for a Master/ Dom make a submissive do something she not happy with it .....

Absolutely. Master makes decisions. To my mind, that is at the core of a D/s relationship. A submissive might not like every decision her master makes, but, ideally, there should be sufficient trust in the relationship that she could move past those negative emotions and carry out whatever unpleasant task she had been given.

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/10/2007 4:55:00 PM

Kinkypupper

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
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one cannot "make" a submissive do anything they do not want to do.
You can compel a slave to do whatever you do wish.

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/11/2007 12:04:43 PM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

[
That's my only question: How is something that is completely non-sexual, having nothing to do with sex and arousal, where neither you or the person you are serving will be having sex in any way... sexual at all and therefore having an orientation?

What about being told to serve coffee nude to a male friend? That's nonsexual because there will be no contact but I can easily see it as a service he wouldn't do.

As far as the op goes, depends on what she's being told to do. If it's accept that he's having sex with others when this wasn't stated upfront, or worse he said he would be monogamous, then it's wrong. As is demanding she be bisexual when it wasn't discussed ahead of time. Being a cynic, I'm guessing it's the latter and he's saying she has to do it because he's the dom even though he knew from the start that she's straight and monogamous.

If I've guessed right, then he may be dominant but he isn't trustworthy. Breaking your hard limits, forcing you to do things you know are morally offensive and emotionally harmful are not good things. More importantly, would you ever trust him again once he had done this? And if not, then why wait until after you've been harmed to say hit the road? Do it ahead and be true to yourself.

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/12/2007 6:38:43 AM

TemptingNviceSub

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Common sense...If it is something that does not do harm to you,that will not scar you emotionally,mentally, that is not a hard limit.Then the like or dislike of it is a moot point...Tempting

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RE: makeing submissive do things - 8/12/2007 7:30:36 AM

BDsbabygirl

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As others have stated, depends on what it is and whether or not it's a "hard limit"...

In O/our relationship, my Daddy doesn't too often "make" me do things I do not nominally like, probably because we're not yet living together - and which is a reason I am in fact hesitant about living together; I like doing things my way when I'm at home - but when he does, I grin and bear it as I'm not yet quite to the point of being happy to do it because it makes him happy. He has asked me to stop doing things and it's more difficult then but I still grin and bear it...maybe without the 'grin' part sometimes. I do it because he's Daddy and he said so.

Recently, tho, he has ordered me to eat before 5pm or face punishment. For years, I've only eaten 1 (maybe 2, but rarely) meal a day and been fine. He doesn't like this and feels it's healthier for me to eat at least 2 meals a day, without exception (unless I'm sick and literally can't eat), thus the order. I feel awful about this one as even thinking of food before dinnertime makes me ill but, as Daddy has ordered it, I will find a way to live with it, if unhappily.

< Message edited by BDsbabygirl -- 8/12/2007 7:37:25 AM >

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RE: making submissive do things - 8/12/2007 7:34:16 AM

mmb1

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I agree with theq's response and especially liked the list: 1, 2 and 3......;)

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